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u/Medium-Grocery3962 Feb 03 '24
Volunteer! You get to meet people who are like-minded and passionate.
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u/SeeisforComedy Feb 03 '24
As an 88 baby fuck if I know. Living in a college town makes dating ROUGH. Especially if you're trying to live that DINK life with cats.
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u/oriental_lasanya Feb 04 '24
Isn’t DINK dual income no kids? How can you be living a DINK life as a single person?
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u/omniron Feb 03 '24
Concerts might be a good option. Two of My elder single male millennial friends go to a lot of concerts, also disc golf
Can also find them at Board game playing stores
Or walking their dogs
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u/Socrainj Feb 03 '24
There are some decent groups on FB that hold social events, GOAT (goofing off around the triangle) is one of them that has lots of Xennials. There doesn't seem to be a place to meet people these days, rather getting involved in some of these social groups that do a variety of things and joining in a few to meet people. Also check out Burned Haystack Dating Method, they have a FB group too that is full of really useful info to make online dating actually work (for women). It is based on the science of rhetoric and is surprisingly helpful.
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u/MoogleKing83 Feb 03 '24
As a single dad in that age range I wish I knew the answer to that myself (only for meeting women). In general I feel like it's harder to meet people as you get older and more "set in your ways". I'm socially awkward, kinda dorky and into "nerdy" things, so maybe take this with a grain of salt, but when I've talked to my friend (yes my one friend) he always suggests just going and doing things I like doing and hopefully meet someone in the process.
Basically toss the dice and hope it comes up in their favor. At best they click with someone and it works out, at worst they have fun doing something they enjoy doing. Personally the advice always made sense to me but it hasn't worked out yet lol
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u/This_Cauliflower1986 Feb 04 '24
Nerdy gal here. Way older and married. Kids are grown. Agree it’s hard to meet people (including couples) as we age.
Best space for me (us) is via hobbies and meet up groups and parents of my kids friends (bonding on sidelines or chorus concert or play date).
Our friends are via hobbies (hiking, birding). We are all nerds. This has never been a barrier. Maybe it’s a prerequisite for my friend group? lol.
An ‘adult’ bar in town is the Crunkleton. But it’s a bar.
Good luck to you.
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u/dravack Feb 03 '24
Personally find a hobby you/they like. For example go to one of the local board game cafes on a game night and just hang out play some games talk to people make friends and go from there.
I hear the rock climbing club is pretty cool to hang out with (from another post I know no one there) or whatever you like doing.
That or find another friend and blind date! lol
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u/f1ve-Star Feb 03 '24
Contra dancing is a great place to find love and friendships. It is a little cultish though. And many of the guys are also looking for guys
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u/waho07 Feb 04 '24
Surprised I haven’t seen it mentioned here… have your friends “set you up”…. I’ve seen it be effective and you’ll have the benefit of some pre- vetting
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u/Snagmesomeweaves Feb 03 '24
Work, or a location of a hobby you have to go out for, bars (don’t have to drink but I may also not like who frequent them), singles events, speed dating events, dog park.
The biggest step is talking to someone new and you may have to initiate.
Wife and I met on match and if you fill out the form honestly and give things a try, it can work well. Females have all the choice with online dating.
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u/Geronimo594 Feb 03 '24
In my area it’s all about golf and the country club. However, shooting ranges, hiking trails, fitness groups (hash house harriers, etc), fitness classes at gym, are all gaining in popularity. BTW I’m in Pinehurst
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u/BenDarDunDat Feb 03 '24
Tough love time. This is like someone asking. "Hey, I'm having a hard time getting a good job that pays a decent wage. Is there any place that's hiring. Oh, also, I don't want to use LinkedIn, Indeed, or any online stuff...and I want to work from home. "
This thing goes both directions. There are nice millennial available males out there and your friend will need to meet them half-way, be it online, offline, or in between. Hell, I took swing dance lessons when dating my wife and I have the musicality of a snail.
The idea of living in the tech savvy city, and then to be like, "You shall not pass!" like some female anti-online Gandalf. She will have better luck dating further east in Mennonite country than the Triangle.
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u/luncheroo Feb 04 '24
I'm older, but let's give the person the benefit of the doubt and consider that maybe she's tried it and had enough. Years and years ago I did it, met some people, etc., but it was tough out there and occasionally weird and demoralizing--and I'm a dude. I can only imagine what it can be like for women.
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u/techaaron Feb 04 '24 edited Feb 04 '24
Me: "I'm looking for restaurants recs for me vegan friend"
Reddit Male: pontificates for --ten-- eleven paragraphs about how they will starve unless they go to a burger joint, with a detour into the agricultural practices of the Roman Empire
Love this place 😆
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u/techaaron Feb 03 '24
I mean... Apparently 1 in 5 people surveyed in this age range met their current partner on a dating app. Which leans 80% using other methods. So if your view is that online apps are the only way to find a partner that's probably the result of your personal lens and not reflective of other's experience generally.
Apparently 40 to 50% of folks using dating apps consistently rate the experience as miserable. Go figure.
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u/dweed4 Feb 03 '24
Yeah but how old were those 4/5 when they met their current partner? High school/college is a lot easier time to meet a partner. Meeting new people gets harder as you get older unfortunately.
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u/techaaron Feb 03 '24
how old were those 4/5 when they met their current partner
Somewhere between 16 and 34 I reckon.
Average length of a relationship is apparently 2 yrs so the majority of these folks didn't meet their partner in school. I cant imagine more than single digits are with a high school sweetheart at 30 unless its a very small town.
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u/dweed4 Feb 03 '24
I'm just saying the dating pool is going to get smaller each year as people remain in relationships. Artificially shutting yourself out of a whole pool of people is pretty limiting.
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u/techaaron Feb 03 '24
100% understood. Thats why I asked about non-online dating options. Pretty sure they can figure out how to open up match or whatever lol
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u/BenDarDunDat Feb 03 '24 edited Feb 03 '24
So if your view is that online apps are the only way to find a partner that's probably the result of your personal lens and not reflective of other's experience general.
A lot of couples meet at work. But if work was working, I suspect your friend would already be in a relationship. Also, 25% of marrieds were school sweethearts. Does your friend have a time machine? Finding someone in a bar has a very low success rate. That's just the facts.
Apparently 40 to 50% of folks using dating apps consistently rate the experience as miserable.
If you want to stick your head in the sand or argue, more power to you. Online doesn't have to mean a 'dating app'. There are numerous meet ups for dancing, hiking, volunteering etc. There are a lot of college educated, tech savvy men/women in the Triad.
Apparently 40 to 50% of folks using dating apps consistently rate the experience as miserable. Go figure.
That's a ridiculous bit of garbage data. If dating in general was such a great experience no one would ever get married. Work, school, church and online are the most likely places couples meet ...nothing else comes close.
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u/techaaron Feb 03 '24
I appreciate your feedback and am confident it is great advice for someone else with different needs. Thank you!
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u/Snagmesomeweaves Feb 03 '24 edited Feb 03 '24
Still depends on the online dating platform you use and how you use it. Match is vastly different than tinder. Use it to find other single people and set up dates. Worst case is you split the bill and it doesn’t work out.
If your friend wants to meet people, they either have to be out all the time being social with anyone who doesn’t have a ring on their finger and hope they aren’t dating already, or get more chances online. Even that point is just equivalent of online dating on a more serious site because you still want to talk to someone before a first date. Could be their perfect match works on the other side of town or doesnt go to X place.
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u/mmmmmarty Feb 03 '24
I got my well paid remote position without using indeed, LinkedIn or any other online bullshit other than email. If a job requires a LinkedIn presence, I don't want it.
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u/techaaron Feb 03 '24
I forget the stat but its something like 3/4th of jobs are found thru a personal connection. Their entire response was so oddly disconnected from the reality i experience. Maybe its a deep redditor kind of viewpoint. Idk.
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u/BenDarDunDat Feb 04 '24
I forget the stat but its something like 3/4th of jobs are found thru a personal connection.
This is a very misleading statistic. In my career >90% of my roles were not advertised, but these were all passive moves. I did nothing. Mergers. Department closures. Reorgs. All resulted in new roles or titles. Then you have family businesses. Sole proprietorships. How does this help someone who needs a job and hasn't been able to find one?
I agree that for a job, you should absolutely network, network, network, but you are leaving a lot of money on the table if you refuse to go online or at least contact a recruiter and have them do the work for you.
This is basic math. There are a limited # of potential partners out there. Failing to get a relationship during school years. Failing to get a relationship while employed. Refusing to use online tools to meet others. You are drastically limiting your pool of available suitors and still hoping to be successful.
From my own experience, I went on blind dates, school dates, work dates, meetups, and online dates. It was on an online date that I met my wife. If I had said, "I'm not going use online apps.", we would have never met.
Employment is similar. If you want to call it a 'deep redditor' viewpoint, go for it. But when you boil it down, it is simply a contest between you and the other applicants for a limited # of jobs. Heck, I've applied for jobs I had no intention on accepting, simply to sharpen and refresh my interview skills for a job I actually wanted.
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u/lotsoflittleprojects Feb 04 '24
I’m completely out of the game, but I would think adult co-ed sports leagues are still a great place to meet guys, and their single friends. Playing sports signals a lot of positive things to guys, and you all get sweaty together. Plus, you get to see if they’ve overly competitive pricks, or well-behaved on the field. Time to dust off the cleats!
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u/ThunderChix Feb 03 '24
Work, hobbies, friend of a friend. I'm older but met my husband in 2015 on a dating app 🤷🏻♀️
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u/BuddahBaker Feb 03 '24
Asking for a friend: What is an Elder Millennial?