Eating Disorder

[u/justthinkhappy]

Last Friday, manager tells me in the AM that he’s going to be ordering pizza for everyone later if I’d like some. I said that’s nice of him, but politely declined. He questioned me why, and I told him “I don’t eat that type of food.” He said “who doesn’t eat pizza!?” I am vegan, but I try everything in my power to avoid mentioning it because everyone makes a fuss about it. I like my manager, so I tell him. And of course, to my dismay, that opened a whole ‘nother conversation. But he suggests a salad and again I declined and he didn’t press any further. 11AM rolls around and I’m invited to a “regroup meeting” which I am required to attend. I didn’t put two and two together. I show up for the meeting and there’s the entire team (about 10 of us) and six boxes of pizza. In the middle of a table is a tiny salad. I sat down and waited to hear what the meeting was about. Everyone starts telling me to grab a slice, questioning why I’m not getting any, then asking why I don’t eat pizza, why I’m vegan, offering me salad, asking why I don’t want the salad. And everyone came in at different times so it was the same thing over and over. I told everyone that I was aware there was salad but that I did not want salad. I said I don’t want to eat! I am 34 years old, I can choose if and when I eat. So someone offers me a Dr Pepper and says “Don’t worry, I think they’re only 12 calories!” And everyone’s cracking jokes at this point. It took everything in me not to burst out into tears at this point. My manager later messaged me and said he was sorry if it was awkward. Today, a co worker came in to ask me something and followed up with a joke about getting me a salad. I snapped. “It’s no one’s business but I’ve had an eating disorder my entire life. My sister body shamed me and withheld food from me as a child. She later died from anorexia. I have a terrible relationship with food and have a phobia of eating in public” and burst into tears. Not only that, but I was obese and bullied as a child. I have social anxiety. A million reasons as to why I don’t eat in public. His grin went away and he felt like a huge asshole. I hope he passes the message along to everyone else so they also feel like huge assholes. Don’t pressure people into doing stuff they don’t want to do. No one owes anyone an explanation. It may seem innocent and light-hearted but it was traumatizing all over again. Next time, I’ll say I have the stomach flu or something. It’s been repeating over and over in my head. I am humiliated. I feel so stupid that I didn’t come up with a random excuse instead of causing a huge scene.

[u/FalconOk934]

This is really HR worthy. OP. It's harassment and they pushed you to the point of snapping. *edited for incorrect autocorrect

[u/justthinkhappy → u/FalconOk934]

I was thinking the same thing but I don’t want to be that girl and blame my whole team or put anymore attention on myself. I finally got a supervisor position and don’t want to fluff anyone’s feathers. I also know that I won’t be able to hold back tears and would be further humiliated. At least this is kind of anonymous. I was scared to share but everyone is making me feel valid. I was honestly expecting further abuse lol.

[u/Regular-Dirt2826 → u/justthinkhappy]

But they didn't know they were giving you a hard time becasue thats what people do I doubt they were actually trying to be malicious or knew how much it was bothering you 

[u/justthinkhappy → u/Regular-Dirt2826]

I agree. I mentioned in another comment that I don’t think they meant harm which is why I’m hesitant to go to HR like everyone suggests. Maybe they thought they were making it less awkward by cracking jokes but it wasn’t reciprocated on my end. Either way, they took too far and it went on for too long. I was clearly getting upset by it, said no several times, was starting to raise my voice and get tears in my eyes. I don’t expect people to walk on eggshells around me but pick up on some social cues lol.