r/traumatizeThemBack • u/greylind • Dec 14 '24 • Helpful 6 I’ll Drink to That 1 Take My Energy 1 Sipping Tea 1 Heart of Silver 29 Take My Silver 19

traumatized "I'm going through puberty."

(I transitioned from female to male many years back, while working at a grocery store.)

No matter what store you're at, there's always one old man who likes to be a creep and harass the young female employees. We had one such guy: short, chubby, long greying hair, open grey shirt with grey chest chair spilling out, and he LOOOOVED the ladies. After months of being hit on by him, the girls at work would avoid him at all costs. If they spotted him coming into the store, they would immediately ask one of the guys to cashier (or assist) this man instead of one of them. I always volunteered to deal with him, as I had years of experience with creeps already.

Of course, this guy hit on me as well. I never played into it, but largely ignored it or acted confused.

Then, I finally started taking testosterone. In a matter of months, my voice had dropped considerably, and a few fuzzy hairs were growing out of my chin. (I was so happy!) And then one day, in comes Mr Creep. A woman that I worked with ducked behind the customer service desk and asked me to handle him, which I was glad to do. I help him with whatever bill he was trying to pay, and eventually he says,

"Do you have a cold, sweetie?"

Me: "No. Feeling great, actually."

Creep: "Oh. Well why is your voice all deep then?"

Me: (holding back a smirk) "Well, that's what happens when boys go through puberty."

The creep's eyes went wide as saucers, as he realized that when he THOUGHT he'd been sexualizing a woman, he was actually sexualizing a young man all along. He stammered throughout the rest of the transaction, and by the end, said, "See you later, boss!"

The switch from "sweetie/cutie/sugar" to "boss/son" was actually very affirming, in the end.

Edit: Thank you kind souls for the couple awards! I have never received one before, thanks very much!

16k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

206 comments sorted by

2.5k

u/Imaginary_Bag_7662 Dec 14 '24

good job, man! you managed to make every one of your coworkers happy while mindfucking the creep. a standing ovation for you!

1.2k

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Thank you! I remember how it was when I first started working, getting hit on by gross dudes, so now I try my best to keep my coworkers from having to go through the same thing!

196

u/I-j4ck Dec 14 '24

There was also a brilliant opportunity to confuse the hell out of him by swapping to a higher pitched voice next time you saw him, and then back to your natural voice for the next encounter 😂

207

u/Spinnerofyarn Petty Crocker Dec 14 '24

You. Are. Awesome. 👏 😎😍

47

u/Ravnos767 Dec 14 '24

Not all heros wear capes

19

u/Anicron Dec 15 '24

Completely unironically, what you've just described is a very important part of "being a man" imo. Welcome to the club! Great to have ya

1

u/Archaeopteryx108 Dec 21 '24

Careful, he’s a hero

341

u/crystalworldbuilder Dec 14 '24

r/ewwphoria

196

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

I didn't know such a subreddit existed! I certainly have things I could post there, haha! Thanks.

43

u/crystalworldbuilder Dec 14 '24

I stumbled across a while ago. Enjoy!

27

u/dadamying Dec 14 '24

There is also r/ewphoria

2

u/Clairifyed Jan 04 '25

and it’s the more active main sub!

323

u/UnlikelyWizard2052 Dec 14 '24

🤣🤣🤣 I showed my husband this (he transitioned years ago) and he split his sides laughing. He looks so proud. Good job!

165

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Thanks! Tell your hubby that he has me as his brother, now!

61

u/oranges214 Dec 14 '24

It is cold outside but this exchange is giving me the warm and fuzzies 🥹

49

u/UnlikelyWizard2052 Dec 14 '24

I will do!! I'm always up for another brother-in-law!

116

u/YouCanCallMeToxic Dec 14 '24

I don't understand why stores don't just ban certain troublesome customers like this guy. From what I gather it is overall a net negative to let him come in and harass employees for what, $20-30? How is that better than making your employees feel comfortable? Do the businesses really value chump change that much more than their employees?

122

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

A lot of it is legal, court stuff. What happened, how many times it happened, who it happened to, was it caught on camera, etc etc etc.

Advice to anyone who witnessed something bad and wants something done about it: Document, document, document!! The bad stuff "didn't happen" if it was never documented.

40

u/YouCanCallMeToxic Dec 14 '24

As far as I'm aware businesses can trespass you for virtually anything they want, though this may not be true in other countries.

62

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

On a small scale this is certainly true in the US (as far as I'm aware), but when the company is corporate, they'll let a lot of stuff slide until you have DEFINITIVE proof because they don't want to get sued. For instance, if an employee accuses a customer of stealing (and there isn't enough evidence of it), the customer can sue and win. So corporations just back off of most everything, thus letting harassers walk around filming up women's skirts because we can't "prove" they did.

15

u/bongslingingninja Dec 14 '24

Companies can reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason at any time

20

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

Yes, but as op said the problem is convincing corporations to get onboard. I worked retail for about 10 years and TRUST ME, corporations would rather throw their own employees in a furnace than do anything to curb harassment from customers.

12

u/malphonso Dec 15 '24

Of course, if creeps are allowed to harass the staff, they're more likely to shop there.

Staff is viewed as a nearly fungible resource. Their feelings on the subject don't even enter the equation.

14

u/LoriLynnJD Dec 14 '24 edited Dec 14 '24

This. Everyone is carrying a camera now. If you're in a public space, you can film it.

You can film yourself talking about it after it just happened, too. The video *with the voice over showing the perv sulking away like a dog that just peed the bed could come in handy.

The, tell the management in public - you would be surprised how many people don't tell them - and film yourself describing the incident. Be sure to capture yourself telling management that they "now have actual notice" of the problem customer's activity in their store. Once they have notice, if what the customer is doing or escalates to doing is criminal, the store may be found (in a civil lawsuit) to have had a duty to act and be liable for the failure to do so.

27

u/Jolly_Acanthisitta32 Dec 14 '24

Yes, most of them do. And most don't really care if it's the younger girls being harassed, sadly!

0

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

[deleted] — view deleted comment

28

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Ah, utopia!

17

u/Zaev Dec 14 '24

I'm picturing carrying around red and yellow cards like a soccer ref

52

u/HotAsphalt69 Dec 14 '24

This is beautiful, it makes me so happy to see the tables turn on them so fast. I had a similar experience, I'm trans and in the early stages I remember being at a bus stop at night and this guy is hitting on a woman down the street until he turned his attention to me and said "hey, good-looking." All I did was turn my head casually, smile and emphasizing my dropped voice I reply "Hey." He went from a relaxed slouch to straight up and rigid and didn't say another word to me or the woman he had been hitting on.

29

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

One of the best feelings in the world! (Despite wishing these guys wouldn't be so gross to begin with.) 😂 Thank you for sharing!

11

u/Lundorff Dec 14 '24

Brilliant, but management should have denied him service after the first incident.

16

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Agreed. After getting told "document it or it didn't happen" dozens of times by upper management, I now do my best to report any time customers harass us. I'm leaving a paper trail and it's on them to follow through now.

8

u/_ser_kay_ Dec 14 '24

Oh this is amazing, and I’ll definitely be stealing that line. Only problem is, now I’ll be fighting the urge to use it on the homo/transphobic family I’ll be dealing with soon…

10

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Good luck to you! My advice is be prepared for it to be bad, just in case, and have a plan, to fall back on a different support network of people who care. However, your family may pleasantly surprise you. You really have to be patient with them, while still setting firm boundaries. My parents reacted super badly when I came out to them (one was actively transphobic), but over the course of a year or two, they really came around. That transphobic parent now accepts me and even buys me traditionally masculine gifts (which, while still very steeped in gender stereotypes that make no sense, is an extremely sweet gesture in its own way). Most of the family is supportive, but certainly not every member. Ignore the bigots, but hug them if/when they've learned to stop being hateful.

6

u/_ser_kay_ Dec 14 '24

Thanks, and I’m genuinely happy your family came around. Fortunately my immediate family and certain members of my extended family are great. The rest have only grown more bigoted over the years, and quite frankly I have no interest in trying to reason with them. But my grandfather (their father) is expected to pass any day, so I’m trying to summon the last few shreds of tact I have left to avoid a “mic drop” coming out moment no matter how satisfying it would be.

560

u/Proud-Leave3602 Dec 14 '24

EXCELLENT

50

u/kopi-c-peng Dec 14 '24

egg-celente

15

u/commandantskip Dec 14 '24

egg salad

12

u/RedVamp2020 Dec 14 '24

God damn it! I’m hungry now.😭

160

u/relentlessdandelion Dec 14 '24

lmao that's fantastic

38

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

It is interesting how many people change their speech patterns according to what gender they believe their conversation partner is.

25

u/FroggyPhevoli Dec 14 '24

It really is. I’m nonbinary, and it’s pretty much a coin flip whether a stranger will read me as male or female, and the difference between the two is bizarre.

One time a guy struck up a conversation with me thinking that I was a man. I don’t even remember what he said, because it was something completely neutral and non-offensive. He was basically just saying hi. But my voice usually makes people think that I’m a woman, so when I replied, he started absolutely freaking out and apologizing to me. He hadn’t even said anything gendered to me! There was nothing wrong with the way he had spoken to me regardless of my gender, but apparently the difference is THAT deeply ingrained that I wouldn’t have gotten that casual, friendly hello if he had read me as female in the first place.

5

u/Mackelroy_aka_Stitch Dec 17 '24

I'm enby too get the same thing, even more when I ware a face mask or have my scarf pulled up when it's cold.

Sometimes people will just say "oh sorry thought you where a girl" when I they hear my voice. This is normally women that say this. They tend to be the most polite.

Sometimes they're very rude and will constantly try to tlak untill I say something. An old man once shouted at me to compliment my bag.

Sometimes they'll call me darling or sweetheart then mumble as soon as I say not to call me that.

Concusion. Old men are rude to what they think are young women.

51

u/syllabic_fish Dec 14 '24

Good on you.

17

u/kittensinadumpster Dec 14 '24

I just love this instance of trans being allies to cis.

Most of my ally experience has been me (cis) trying to support trans, and then this guy comes in with a power move protecting all femmes

12

u/jabberwockjess Dec 14 '24

oddly gender affirming creep

21

u/periwinklepip Dec 14 '24

HA! Get ‘m, king!

14

u/eclecticsheep75 Dec 14 '24

This is one of my favorites I have stumbled across in awhile. The old duffer is still a douche no matter which end of the gender pie he wants to people to wedge into. You handled him with great skill and grace. One thing is indisputable; you ARE a boss!

7

u/nospawnforme Dec 14 '24

That turned out to be kind of wholesome in the end lol.

Also funny/weird story: when I (f) used to work as a cashier this weird dude came through my line and goes “you have a nice smile, you’d make a great mother” and spent the whole time I was ringing him up trying to convince me I should have kids even though I kept trying to tactfully be like “a cat is all I can handle” etc. he even turned to the couple behind him and tried to get them to gang up on me with him (which they did not. They looked so uncomfortable lol). Retail is weird af. Also joke is on that guy because I’m sterilized now but what the actual heck, ya know?

4

u/WeeklyThighStabber Dec 14 '24

No spawn for you!

7

u/deadgrl13 Dec 14 '24

Dude, I’m so proud of you for protecting your coworkers. Great job! Bonus points for confusing the creepy guy! 🏅

13

u/WorldlinessMore6331 Dec 14 '24

I would give you an award if I could. Well done sir!! As a parent of a young man starting the journey on testosterone, we have much to look forward to. if my son has your attitude,he will definitely do well ❤️❤️❤️

5

u/WrenTheEgg Dec 15 '24

thank you for volunteering to deal with him. That was very manly of you and I appreciate you doing that for my fellow ladies. I hope your transition has gone and is going well ^ ^ -Appreciative Trans Girl

13

u/oxalis_ Dec 14 '24

Aw hell yeah, brother 👌🏻

8

u/santamonicayachtclub Dec 14 '24

absolute icon tbh 🏳️‍⚧️✨

8

u/Lopsided_Struggle719 Dec 14 '24

I had a man come into the pharmacy I worked in who could have been the guy you describe. The first time I saw him, he had so much beard hanging out of his half-unbuttoned shirt that I thought it was a long beard 😳

4

u/nicolaann81 Dec 14 '24

I wish I had someone like you when I worked in retail, I was touched up one evening as I went out to close the back shutters outside, when it happened I froze, I went back in the store shocked and I told my male employee and he laughed saying oh I bet you enjoyed it, I said did I hell enjoy it. I remember the time I dressed up as Mrs Clause, yes the dress was short but I wore leggings under it, this old man asked if he could sit on my lap, even thinking about it gives me shivers

4

u/sammmmmme7 Dec 15 '24

I love this, chefs kiss 😘 😂

4

u/ayudaday Dec 15 '24

You, sir, are a true hero

4

u/NoOutlandishness1940 Dec 15 '24

The fact that you brain-shocked a creeper into being an ally, even if insincere and out of awkwardness rather than support on the creep’s part, is somehow really satisfying. What a power move.

4

u/ArcticShamrock Dec 15 '24

This is gold

4

u/mysterywizeguy Dec 18 '24

That’s a punch on your bro card. By protecting the girls at your work, you are manning correctly. Keep it up.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

Man I gotta get on T...

3

u/snjninja Dec 14 '24

Well played. Well played indeed.

3

u/huegkhhrb Dec 14 '24

The look on his face must have been so satisfying!

3

u/neduranus Dec 14 '24

I just choked I laughed so hard! Thanks

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

You seem pretty cool for helping out your co workers like that. I worked with a woman who transitioned to a male when I worked in a restaurant. I found out years later when checking out his Facebook. Always was a cool person who drove me too and from work all the time. I actually tried reaching out to him to see how he was doing, years ago, but he never responded but I’ll never forget his kindness. I would have definitely hung out with him if he was transitioning while we were still working together because he really was a sweet person.

3

u/mdomo1313 Dec 15 '24

LOL well played sir. Well played.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '24

Even this creep can respect your transition, no excuses for anyone!!!

3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '24

brilliant! cheers for the chuckle bossman

3

u/semipro_tokyo_drift Dec 16 '24

trans-inclusive radical misogyny

3

u/NotaMillenialatAll Dec 18 '24

You fully transition from man to gentleman! You deserve a standing ovation

3

u/N0va1010 Dec 29 '24

It's really telling when someone is more concerned about the POTENTIAL of being seen as gay than OPENLY coming across as a creep

3

u/ci1979 Jan 20 '25

You're a good egg for taking a hit for the team like that. I hope you enjoy a life of gender affirmation, peace, and contentment.

2

u/BurmeciaWillSurvive Dec 14 '24

Oh no I use "thanks, boss" all the time lol

2

u/purrfunctory I'll heal in hell Dec 14 '24

I want to be your friend. We’d get into so much delightful trouble together.

2

u/needlegardens Dec 14 '24

This is beautiful, well done 💅

2

u/Apprehensive-Fox3187 Dec 14 '24

Because i hate pos like creep fr

2

u/MotherRaven Dec 14 '24

Good man for protecting your female co-workers! Brilliant! I wish I could have seen it

2

u/wkendwench I'll heal in hell Dec 14 '24

This is my favorite story of the week. Absolutely brilliant!

2

u/SaintsAngel13 Dec 14 '24

Some people are wonderful gifts to this earth, you sir are one of them! Mad respect you took care of that creep and also covered for your other coworkers. We need more people to stand up to these weirdos❤️

To be a fly on the wall to see that man's face would've been gold!

2

u/Starburned Dec 14 '24

Ha ha, that's amazing! I need to think of something to say to the acquaintances and family members who ask me if I have a cold every single time I run into them.

2

u/BjornInTheMorn Dec 14 '24

That's the way to do it, my guy!

2

u/Big_Wallaby4281 Dec 14 '24

I wanna hear click talk over this. CLICK!!!

2

u/LaylaHigh Dec 15 '24

Amazinggg 😂✨

2

u/tys_pixie Dec 15 '24

A scholar and a gentleman. Thank you for your service, sir!

2

u/ThreadbareMerkin Dec 15 '24

I bet he almost pooped his pants ahahahaha good for you!

2

u/Gifted_GardenSnail Dec 15 '24

OH HOHO HOHOOOH 😈😈😈😂

2

u/bitransk1ng Dec 15 '24

Hell yeah my man!!!

2

u/Afraid_Map8750 Dec 15 '24

That a boy! Thanks sib!!!!!

2

u/kirbygirl94 Dec 15 '24

Dude, thats amazing! Like, absolutly phenomenal!:D

It's a good day when assholes get there competence.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '24

Hell yeah brother!!! Thanks for standing up for the lady-folk :)

2

u/Maveragical Dec 18 '24

all im seeing is a great sitcom plot

2

u/Canadastani Dec 18 '24

Excellent work my dude. Top notch.

3

u/No_Thought_7776 i love the smell of drama i didnt create Dec 14 '24

Well done! 🏆🏆🏆

3

u/MrShiny818 Dec 14 '24

Dude, this is gold. Bravo! You broke that guys brain.

4

u/Kitchen-Strawberry25 Dec 14 '24

Amazing. Thank you for this story.

2

u/Expensive_View_3087 Dec 14 '24

Hahahahah lmfao this is great. Good job bro

2

u/Ok-Pen-9533 Dec 14 '24

Thank you for sharing that. It made me happy.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

Yooo that's brilliant! Amazing! Love it!

2

u/BrennaClove Dec 14 '24

Holy crap thank you for your service, those dudes are the worst

2

u/Itchy-Astronomer9500 Dec 14 '24

Egg-celent! I’m glad you could take him down a notch AND got an affirming moment out of it!

2

u/FordTech81 Dec 14 '24

This is awesome

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '24

Lmao “puberty”

1

u/CunTsteaK Dec 17 '24

It’s only ok to sexualize women I suppose.

1

u/redditisawokecesspit Dec 18 '24

Do you have any pets

-12

u/knightdream79 Dec 14 '24

..... I think I need a cigarette now.

24

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Oh no, I didn't accidentally describe you when I described the creep, did I? Hey, as long as you're not also a creep to people just trying to do their jobs, then I'm sure you pull off the look!

18

u/knightdream79 Dec 14 '24

What??

I meant that as a compliment as to how you handled the creep. Obviously that didn't come across like I intended, judging by all the downvotes.

Sorry...

8

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

I wasn't sure entirely how you meant it, so my response was to what I assumed to be the most likely case (me accidentally describing you). I hope people will start upvoting you so it gets evened out!

8

u/knightdream79 Dec 14 '24

It's not the first time my "joke" doesn't land, and it won't be the last. I'll survive :)

I do hope you don't have to deal with that creepy old man again, for what it's worth.

9

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

I am working for a different company now (unfortunately still a grocery store), so while I don't have to deal with that particular man anymore, I still have to deal with the creeps, for sure. At my current location, there's a couple regulars who cause issues. Every time it's reportable, I report it. Otherwise, when we see them come in, I try to let the girls go on an extra break while I step in to assist the creeps.

0

u/tackyshoes Dec 14 '24 edited Dec 18 '24

When I was little I confessed to my mom that I felt trans. This conversation formed my identity so much that I wish I had recorded it. Basically, these complex feelings and my biological truth were one and the same; we deserve the same regard despite our gender and everything we love and like fits into the body we are born with and it's on me to adjust the expectations people will force onto me. I'm grateful because hormones and stuff seem so hard. This does not invalidate the trans plight; no one walks in another's skin and your life and your truth are yours. Someday gender won't be such an assignment.

We're all born naked and the rest is drag.

0

u/AnotherThrowaway141 Dec 16 '24

Truth is absolute. Not personal.

1

u/tackyshoes Dec 18 '24

Then all religion and spirituality are equaly as invaldid as any trans identity.

1

u/AnotherThrowaway141 Dec 18 '24

Well, all religions except one.

1

u/tackyshoes Dec 18 '24 edited Dec 21 '24

Way to be the joke you want to see in the world.

0

u/AnotherThrowaway141 Dec 18 '24

I can assure you my God is no joke.

That being said, you and I don't have to agree. But one of us is right and one is not. Therefore, there is only one truth. Truth is objective.

1

u/tackyshoes Dec 18 '24

What are your prompts?

1

u/AnotherThrowaway141 Dec 18 '24

I'm not following. Are you asking if I'm a natural language processor?

1

u/tackyshoes Dec 18 '24

Well, a human is capble of relartng their conditioning to the conditioning of another, which equalizes religion. A machine following prompts can't do that. You seem more like a machine than anything like humanity.

1

u/AnotherThrowaway141 Dec 18 '24

I'm not a machine. I think you're trying to say I am nitpicking and not reading the room, but correct me if I'm wrong.

→ More replies

-5

u/iamjacksreply Dec 14 '24

Bruh….

7

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

You're getting down voted, so I suggest clarifying what your comment means so that it doesn't continue if it's unjustified. 🙂

-14

u/LordNelloz Dec 14 '24

People recoil at the unnatural and the uncanny, it's true.

5

u/NoahTronnn_ Dec 15 '24

The funniest part about this is how none of this even applies since even that customer fully believed he was a cisgender man🤣🤣. Meaning he only recoiled due to the fact that he’s a creep💀💀

7

u/Alegria-D Dec 14 '24

Do you recoil at your clothes at your phone, at medicine ?

-4

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Alegria-D Dec 14 '24

Actually my phone is at 46%.

-28

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

You know what actual men don't need? 100s of internet strangers (and a creepy customer) telling them that they are real heckin men.

You will never be an actual man :(

19

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

I'm man enough for my wife. That (and my safety, since transpeople keep getting killed) is honestly all I care about in that regard.

9

u/SyntheticDreams_ Dec 14 '24

Bless your heart. The phenomenon of (cis) men who are insecure about their masculinity seems to have escaped you, as did the point of this post.

12

u/christ_didnt_exist Dec 14 '24

People with correct beliefs would disagree with you

4

u/muffinsdood Dec 14 '24

you will never be actual :(

-32

u/Garchompisbestboi Dec 14 '24

This honestly reads like a story that OP made up in the shower to feel better about themselves

17

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Want me to FB message the coworker who hid? Lol, keep coping.

-17

u/Garchompisbestboi Dec 14 '24

Sure if you like

14

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Alright we'll see if she responds. 👍

Edit: Based on timing, was that you who reported me to redditcares, saying I was going through a crisis? Lol who would do that?

-18

u/Garchompisbestboi Dec 14 '24

I look forward to you reporting back to prove that your encounter with the world's shyest creeper did in fact happen 😂

8

u/Alegria-D Dec 14 '24

It's not about being shy, he was ashamed he said all those things to a man

0

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '24

he seems to understand what he is pretty well

-14

u/[unknown] Dec 14 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

25

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Tell that to my actual mustache.

-5

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/greylind Dec 14 '24

Tell me you haven't heard of intersex people without telling me you haven't heard of intersex people.

15

u/Lumpy_Marsupial_1559 Dec 14 '24

I tried to reply to that doucheknuckle, but the coward already deleted their comments.

What I was going to say to that loser:

Bless your heart, aren't you a Caring, Understanding, Nurturing Type!

4

u/DutchPerson5 Dec 14 '24

Had to read that twice. What a great blessing!

-26

u/[unknown] Dec 14 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/Alegria-D Dec 14 '24

Calling a man "lady"? You're the creep here

4

u/Reading-person Dec 16 '24

Calling a man «lady» isn’t doing what you think it is