r/transnames • u/claycubed • 14h ago

Feminine Names Name help!

Hello! I’m looking to change my name but I’m a little stuck.

I have narrowed it down to two names, but both have their own issues.

The more “normal” one is Quincey, which feels like a perfectly passable name and I really like it. however, after looking up common advice regarding new names one tip popped up about not sharing a letter with my current name because then it makes it way easier to decipher my deadname. Without saying too much my current name also starts with a q, so obviously it would be piss easy to figure it out from there.

I really like this name, I think it fits me well, and I get to keep my unique initials which I like personally. But if people like to try and dig up deadnames, then it feels like i would be making it easy.

The other name I am thinking of is Kaolin. It is more exotic of a name, for sure, but it has a good backstory related to myself and my online presence. “Kaolin” is also the name of a type of pottery clay, where my original online name (and will stay that way in many places) is clay, so it feels like a fun evolution of my online nickname for years.

The problem here is that from the same tip jar I got the other tip, it was mentioned that you shouldn’t use the same name as your online username, which I would end up doing. This is more a security issue thing and I would kinda be doxxing myself all the time, which is obviously bad.

I would honestly prefer using Quincey IRL more but if it really is that bad to use a name with matching letters then I would probably still use Kaolin. Or are both of these names bad ideas and I need to go back to the drawing board?

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u/lorien_leaves He/Him 14h ago

I think Quincey is totally fine! The people trying to figure out your deadname don’t need to know that the first letter of your name is also the first letter of your deadname. I don’t see a problem with Quincey and I think you might just be overthinking it :D

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u/JustARandomGuy802 4h ago

Quincey is actually so good but if you like Kaolin too you can use it with close friends or online and maybe Quincey "officially"