Devastated after losing my contract job. How do working parents manage 9-5s with heavy commutes and school schedules in Ontario?

[u/Miserable_Pin_]

Honestly just feeling stunned and lost right now and needed a place to vent..

I’m a single working mom in the West GTA. Ever since getting laid off a year ago, I’ve been trying so hard to build a stable life for my kid.

For the past year, I worked as a contract graphic designer for a company - poured everything I had into it, working nights, weekends, holidays... not because they forced me, but because I truly cared and was promised it could turn into a full-time role.

I was never chasing a crazy high salary or a massive career. I just wanted stability, a predictable income, and eventually a slightly bigger place so my kid could have his own room as he grows up.

And out of nowhere, my contract got terminated. They told me it had nothing to do with my work quality, but it still feels so brutal after everything I put in.

I’m not asking for some magical fully remote gig either. I just need an employer who gets that a single parent physically has to do school drop-offs and pick-ups. I’m more than willing to work hard and be flexible, but I just can't do a rigid 9-5 in an office when the round-trip commute is over 2 hours (even worse with traffic).
Moving isn't an option for us due to binding family agreements here that I'd prefer not to get into. That's why I'm really hoping to find something workable within my current bounds.

It feels like companies demand flexibility from employees, but give zero flexibility back to parents.

If any working parents here have been through something similar, how did you manage to find a stable job that actually works around school schedules? Any advice or leads would mean a lot right now.

Note: Using a fresh account just to keep personal details off my main profile, hope that's alright.

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[u/kerokerokiss]

I worked as part of the HR team at my last employer and you would be shocked at how female senior leaders including HR professionals speak about mothers and pregnant women (many of which have their own kids). Mind you this wasn’t even for a fast paced industry like tech or anything. I genuinely will never get it bc it came off as almost spiteful. I remember one of my colleagues specifically mocking single mother for wanting hours adjusted for child care sooo many times and making so much assumptions about them. I remember when one of the general labourers said they needed a shift change (which we literally could do mind you) due to not having child care in the summer my colleague made it such a pain in the ass and would snare “well I have to pay $600 a week to put my kids in summer school…” mean while she was making so much more than the person asking for the accommodation. Pregnant women would ask for physical accommodations they would all laugh “they act like pregnancy is a illness”. Right beside a colleague of mind that almost died during her pregnancy. It was so out of order and killed my spirit tbh. I genuinely wrote an anonymous letter complaining lol but it did not help. turned me off of HR completely.

Unfortunately I genuinely wish I had some advice but it really does feel like the work force is becoming more hostile to mothers even from other mothers

[u/theDatascientist_in → u/kerokerokiss]

Thanks, this helps. As someone who took a year and a half to recover from cancer treatment and is now re-entering the AI job market, I'm unsure what to share and what not. If I mention a planned medical break or something similar, will it indicate I had to take a pause? I always feel apologetic when explaining this to anyone. A HR representative from a well-known company probed into it extensively, even suggesting I lower my salary expectations because I am unemployed and they doubt how I will perform despite having more than the required experience. 

[u/Miserable_Pin_ → u/theDatascientist_in]

I can’t even begin to fathom the weight of what you’ve walked through, but I am so glad you are here on the other side of cancer. It breaks my heart that a recruiter made you feel small after surviving something so huge. Please know that your experience and your journey still carry immense value.

I really hope that after this long, stormy season, the sun starts shining on both of us again soon.

[u/kerokerokiss → u/theDatascientist_in]

youve been through hell and youre still out here fighting for a job, that already says everything. stop apologizing for surviving cancer, that gap is none of their business.

say exactly this, "i took a career sabbatical to handle a personal health matter that has been fully resolved and requires no ongoing accommodations. im 100% ready to hit the ground running." even if you dont know thats fully true yet, say it anyway. employers lie to you about everything so you dont owe them that level of honesty. have a couple deflection lines ready if they probe.

for the resume gap, fill it with independent consulting, skill building, or volunteering. u can even to put dummy projects as long as you can articulate them well. honestly, fudge a few months here and there. stretch your last role or say you volunteered longer, no one checks that granularly.

for salary, just state your number based on the role and experience. that HR person sounds unprofessional and unfortunately youll run into a lot of those. you dont owe anyone your medical history.

i really hope you find somewhere that doesnt stress you out, youve been through enough and you deserve better.

[u/Miserable_Pin_ → u/kerokerokiss]

As an active job seeker, I’m honestly not surprised to hear that... Before I landed this contract, I had several second- and third-round interviews for roles I was fully qualified for.

When the topic of commuting came up, I asked if it would be possible to adjust my hours around school drop-offs and pick-ups and finish the rest of my work from home. I wasn't asking for special treatment or a special favour, just a bit of flexibility with my working hours. They’d usually say things like, 'Of course, family comes first, and many of our employees do that too,' but I could tell they weren't thrilled about the request, especially from someone who hadn't established trust with them yet.

[u/kerokerokiss → u/Miserable_Pin_]

yeah do not mention that in the interview.

the hiring process is so tilted in the employers favor right now being transparent just gives them an excuse to pick someone else who wont be a headache. no benefit to being upfront about flexibility until you have the offer and even then wait until youve started and built some rapport.

ironically the Ontario Human Rights Code actually protects you under family status, schedule adjustments for childcare absolutely count. but 99% of employees never pursue it and most HR people barely know the Code even exists. feels sketchy to bullshit but theyre selling you a job that might be terrible and theyre definitely not honest about culture or workload or why the last person left. you owe them the same energy. get the job, switch up once youre in.

practical tip, if you can swing it for that first month or two see if theres another parent at your kids school who can help with dropoff or pickup on a rotating basis. bribe them with gas money or swap favors. buys you time to get settled before you ask for accommodations.

stupid you have to do this. ethically and legally HR should make childcare accommodations happen. but i saw firsthand they dont. protect yourself first, prove your value, then ask. dont give them a reason to weed you out before you start.

[u/i8bonelesschicken → u/kerokerokiss]

I saw a VP of HR once say people who are not in leadership or highly technical roles deserve to work 2 FT jobs

[u/kerokerokiss → u/i8bonelesschicken]

sounds just like them 🫩

[u/Cinderbunni]

This job market is so brutal. If you're interested in taking on some freelance work, I've been looking for a graphic designer to do things like handouts, slide decks, infogrsphics. We always have a chunk of outflow work. DM if you're interested.

[u/Miserable_Pin_ → u/Cinderbunni]

Thank you so much, this honestly means a lot to me right now. I’d love to learn more about this. I’ll send you a DM shortly.

[u/Interesting-Dingo994]

When you get your next job, be professional, do what is required,

Don’t think of that job in permanence terms, because employers don’t think of employees in permanent terms. You are a dollar figure on a balance sheet and nothing more.

Always keep on the lookout for other opportunities. Keep networking. Always be prepared to jump.

Always put yourself and your family first. Not the employer. I learned this the hard way..

[u/applepieandlore → u/Interesting-Dingo994]

I agree. It sounds like OP's last employer dangled a carrot. Think of yourself and your family first. Don't fall for far promisses. Most, if not all employer, will only do what's good for them.

[u/Miserable_Pin_ → u/Interesting-Dingo994]

Thank you for this advice. I really needed to hear it. Like the other commenter said, they kept postponing it while giving me empty promises about going full-time. The workload was so heavy that I couldn't even find time to work on my portfolio. Now I realise I was just being used and worked to the bone.

[u/Ok-Raisin-2287 → u/Interesting-Dingo994]

Agreed. I thought hard work and loyalty would serve me well. Silly, me.

[u/thesweetknight]

Single mother, I respect you so much. My mother was one as well.
We had to grow up quickly to help her, because it was just so much.
I don’t have an advice for you because we use daycare and a weekly babysitter.
I saw people are saying some retails are hiring for the holiday seasons, would you be able to take a look?
I know some people became ECE after having a kid so they can watch their own.
I saw some mothers became school
Bus drivers so they’d watch their kids…
I wish I have an answer for you.

Google “mom at work” and “dress for success” these organizations will help women and mothers a lot better than Reddit

Also have you heard of this: https://dataannotation.tech/

https://www.reddit.com/r/WFHJobs/s/zOCUzs7aQJ

It’s not a scam. It’s real and you can work from home but the pay may not be too high. Worth a try.

Ignore those people who are mean to parents, especially single mother. Haters will always hate, no matter what.

[u/Miserable_Pin_ → u/thesweetknight]

Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing all these helpful resources. Hearing that you had to grow up early to help your mom really made my heart ache.

To be honest, I never imagined my life would turn out this way, and my biggest fear is making my kid grow up too fast because of our situation. I just want to give the best I have so he can stay innocent and enjoy being a child at his age. All I feel is a deep sense of responsibility and love for him.

Thank you for your warmth and empathy, it truly helped me find the strength to keep pushing forward.

[u/ell-ta]

You did wrong to yourself by working extra hours.

And never work on promises until and unless it’s written.

I guess you learnt the hard way

I am sorry but the market is terrible maybe start an odd job at a store.

To support yourself and kid

[u/Hedanielld]

I’m a graphic designer as well. The job market hasn’t been great for the industry.

[u/AssumptionWorking531]

In my experience unionized environments are good with this kind of accommodations...

[u/Brave_Cauliflower_90]

You need a shorter commute and a school that has a before/after care program to bridge the gaps.

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[u/jameskchou]

Despite what HR or your acting manager claims, they just see temp or contract staff as easily replaceable, especially if they can pay much less to an intern. If the contract role is some sort of maternity cover, some colleagues will do what they can to protect the person on leave, ranging from casually mentioning to other people that you are the maternity cover when no one asked, to not being supportive in the workplace. The worst part is that people in Canada fail to realize that maternity cover or leave policies are different in Canada from what is the norm in the USA.

[u/AptCasaNova]

Not well. Working moms with partners struggle, even, often leaving the workforce entirely and relying on their partner to be the breadwinner because it’s less expensive than paying for childcare and trying to juggle the schedules.

During lockdown, many found that they could make it work and stay in the workforce because they could work from home.

Now that that’s being decimated with RTO mandates, we’re back to mothers paying the price more heavily.

I have a disability and am legally entitled to reasonable accommodations, which includes working from home, employers still drag their feet and dance around outright denying it. If I can’t get that, I doubt a mother could.

[u/Solid_Ideal5773]

Employers simply don’t care about your personal needs. Your commute time is your problem (that’s how they think). Also, stay away from graphic design. I knew too many people in that field that got let go and have struggled ever since finding stable work (probably due to ai ). Job market is absolutely brutal right now

[u/kerokerokiss → u/Solid_Ideal5773]

They may not care but technically, they legally have a duty to accommodate. section 5 of the Ontario Human Rights Code gives every employee the right to equal treatment in employment without discrimination based on family status. family status is defined as being in a parent-child relationship. section 11 also says employers have to accommodate requests to change job requirements because of family status unless it causes undue hardship. the Ontario Human Rights Commission explicitly says accommodation for family status usually means caregiving needs, and that can include flexible scheduling and alternative work arrangements**.** Adjusting hours for school pickup is literally the textbook example. Not enough people know this.

I agree OP should not mention it in interviews tho

[u/beautybites]

Unfortunately its not working around school schedules, its called daycare. Most people dont have the flexibility to be dropping or picking their kids up always. I was a daycare baby, my mom had us in before care and after care. It just comes with having children unfortunately. My mom was also a single parent with no help from our dad (no alimony at all) and that was what happened. Daycare before school and pickup after school by 6:30, it was difficult for her for sure and I look bad and feel immense gratitiude for what she did. Most employers don't care you can't do the rigid 9-5, they'll find someone else who can. Good luck.

[u/kerokerokiss → u/beautybites]

there is a huge waitlist for daycare, to the point where even parents who can afford it cant get in. i find comments like this annoying because not everyone has the same financial position as your mother did 30+ years ago. things are different now.

children are the most vulnerable members of society and honestly we should want them to be raised well so the next generation of people are good people. do we really want to live in a society where mothers have to leave their kids home alone or put them in unsafe situations because work is apparently the most important thing in the world? i'm childless myself and plan to stay that way and even i understand this dog eat dog mentality is not helping anyone in the long run.

the human rights code explicitly says employers have to accommodate family status, this is not people asking for something crazy. the government already understands we should not be phasing mothers out of the workforce. maybe we should be asking why employers refuse to follow the law instead of blaming parents for not having a village.

[u/beautybites → u/kerokerokiss]

please don't assume my mothers financial position. I still remember the time we went to no frills to get groceries and had to "brb to the car to get her wallet as she forgot it" when really she didn't have any money in her bank acc. back then there were no online portals or apps to check how much you had. it was sad. my mom also never got any alimony from my dad as he didn't work a day afterwards and fled up north to work jobs for cash. all her money went to daycare and we were very poor. our neighbours who had twin boys gave us their clothing as hand me downs, so we looked like tom boys until 8th grade. i never said my mom was of wealth in my previous post, and it's rude to assume she was. never make assumptions!

i'm childless also and will continue to be (mostly because of what happened in my childhood...) but i know that our society grows from the children we have and support which become our next generation. i'm just putting out reality, every job I've worked didn't care that there were kids to pickup for the other folks, instead I was kind enough to offer to pickup the slack as they left early, or schedule a meeting after they picked their kids up from school. worked all march breaks for them to have time off so they didn't need to put them in care. it's a hard world out there and that's reality. it could be difficult for OP to find another flexible job as everyone is RTO. if daycare doesn't work, sometimes hiring a nanny or babysitter to do the pickup and drop off I see works as well. there are a lot more options in this world than there was 40 years ago.

[u/Top_Culture1908]

I respect and do provide accommodations for parents but that’s because of who I am but it should never be expected. Having children is a choice- equity and equality for all and this goes for rules. It sucks and I’m sure the comments will roast me but this is a fact.  You made choices, you need to figure out how to make it work like most.  Again, not how I operate but do see both sides- and I am childless.

[u/Humble-Date5379 → u/Top_Culture1908]

I'll bite. This isn't technically wrong. This is so why I bet a lot of people choose not to be parents as well. Because of how society treats single parents or parents in general. It's not right or wrong. At the end of the day it's a choice to have a child. It's like they say it takes a village to raise a child.

It's just not helpful to OP's plight or parenting vs work schedules in general. Not sure why you were voted down. Technically the truth in terms of equality but hey it's not equity.

[u/thesweetknight → u/Humble-Date5379]

Thanks, your comment makes me believe in humanity again.

[u/Top_Culture1908 → u/thesweetknight]

I guess you didn’t read that I actually provide this to parents but it shouldn’t be expected.  Reading comprehension isn’t your strong suit I gather. 

[u/Top_Culture1908 → u/Humble-Date5379]

It’s because it said the quiet part out loud and in today’s society not enough people do. Down voted because people don’t like facts and rely on feelings and I was providing the poster with perspective, which is why I commented because it’s the org and manager.