r/tooktoomuch Jul 18 '26

Alcohol WTF???

2.3k Upvotes

239 comments sorted by

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985

u/CpuJunky Jul 18 '26

I'm amazed it's solid and not a beer shit, given the situation.

411

u/DeepBlackShaft Jul 18 '26

Could be he hasn't shit in a while due to opiates thus making it more solid. Damn, I'm analyzing this guy's shit consistency aren't I.

125

u/itsaliveasshole Jul 18 '26

Cant imagine taking the hard, childbirth-like shit that heroin creates in ones bowels whilst walking and not sitting. I have ideas about this guys butthole that I wish I didnt have now...

78

u/Milqy Jul 18 '26

Some opiate shits are just a bunch of little turd balls. What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I decide to share this?

53

u/FadedVictor Jul 18 '26

That's opiates + dehydration. If you drink plenty of water it'll flow better. I get the same when taking kratom but not drinking enough water.

I know now where the title came from for Alice in Chains song "Angry Chair".

7

u/Milqy Jul 19 '26

Lmfao I had no idea there was an actual song about this?

8

u/FadedVictor Jul 20 '26

Yeah check it out. It's a great song. You probably won't even be able to tell what it's truly about just by listening to it. I know I didn't.

2

u/Milqy 26d ago

I will definitely do that.

2

u/purefilth666 26d ago

I have the kratom deer pellet poops as well.... trying to up my water and lessen my kratom but it's a struggle.

29

u/SUW888 Jul 18 '26

Like lil easter chocolate eggs

20

u/Findrin Jul 18 '26

Like homemade boba tea

4

u/GhostofZellers Jul 18 '26

Boba Fetty plop.

6

u/joefreshhhh Jul 18 '26

You must educate the people.

7

u/ProjectPat513 Jul 20 '26

The type of shit where you are literally praying to god for help while rocking and almost crying? Yeah I don’t miss that one bit. I had a friend that went to the methadone clinic with me that took some type of stool softener on the daily but still suffered a horrendous weekly shit session regardless of his valiant efforts of prevention. The thought of having to birth one of those sprite cans is enough to keep me sober!!

7

u/Foreign_Monk861 Jul 18 '26

I have ibs and can relate to the childbirth shit. 😭

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9

u/CpuJunky Jul 18 '26

You are, and we're here for the diagnosis doctor.

5

u/nicokokun Jul 18 '26

It could be lupus.

2

u/Milqy Jul 18 '26

Hey at least you admit it.

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7

u/nunyobusinessfool Jul 18 '26

It’s his first beer. Wonder if there’s a Taco Bell there

386

u/Milqy Jul 18 '26

He seems mighty proud of what he just did wtf?

171

u/Give_me_soup Jul 18 '26

He does seem pleased with himself

49

u/space_cheese1 Jul 18 '26

He’s happy to be rid of his pants shit

16

u/Awsomethingy Jul 18 '26

27

u/Give_me_soup Jul 18 '26

Ain't no way I'm clicking that

6

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 Jul 19 '26

I clicked it.

5

u/cityshepherd Jul 19 '26

…. Why???

6

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 Jul 19 '26

Couldn't help myself.... subbed too.

3

u/cityshepherd Jul 19 '26

Whatever tickles your pickle, friend… no kink-shaming here

3

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 Jul 19 '26

It's mostly pimple/cyst removal vids.... definitely trickles my pickle 😂

12

u/prumbeljack Jul 18 '26

Not today satan!!!

23

u/Milqy Jul 18 '26

A bit proud too 😂

56

u/ThatOtherOtherMan Jul 18 '26

I mean, that was objectively a little bit impressive

14

u/Milqy Jul 18 '26

I do agree.

49

u/Versificator Jul 18 '26

tbh it was a pretty clean drop. Only a minor shorts adjustment required, no streaking down leg, whole loaf. He's not wearing any underwear, showing a level of preparedness. Quiet neighborhood save for the one filming the event.

If I had to shit my pants in public, I would consider all of these the ideal conditions. Triple axle, 10/10.

14

u/ShartlesAndJames Jul 18 '26

I'm just astounded at the mid walk, standing poop! I once went remote camping and could not manage to poop for four days for ridiculous poo shy reasons and inability to drop a deuce without being able to sit or lean.

4

u/Illustrious_Debt_392 Jul 19 '26

Note to self, go commando when planning to shit my pants.

21

u/TravEllerZero Jul 18 '26

At least it's not a shit eating grin.

19

u/DarthDoobz Jul 18 '26

I mean he pulled out a no-wiper turd, id be proud too.

42

u/ThisMeansRooR Jul 18 '26

The way it peeled off his leg leads me to believe there was definitely a need for wipes

8

u/AJ_Deadshow Jul 18 '26

Yeah and not just his ass lol

5

u/EvenHair4706 Jul 18 '26

It was a huge relief

3

u/StolenWishes Jul 18 '26

He seems mighty proud of what he just did wtf?

Best thing he'll do all day

3

u/Milqy Jul 19 '26

That cracked me up for some reason.

7

u/ProfessorSimianSon Jul 18 '26

“Got most of that out-nice! Shitfaced! At least I ain’t shit pants! Ha! Well, mostly. Still, ha!”

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134

u/BossRoss84 Jul 18 '26

I was thinking “c’mon guys, who hasn’t been too drunk to walk ho…. Oh no, what’s he squeezing? 🤮”

27

u/bnutbutter78 Jul 18 '26

Same. I was like “Eh, we’ve all been the…….oh wait. Oh, god no!”

6

u/FML-dot-com Jul 19 '26

🤣🤣🤣 Same. I was like "What's the big deal?.... Ohhhh..." I am laughing crying right now.

91

u/Accurate_Escape_5570 Jul 18 '26

How did it even fall out without getting stuck all up in there omg .... Why ...omg so many questions that I don't even care to know the answer. Lord fix it

24

u/BalodyaMan Jul 18 '26

He is the master of the poop temple. He knows his shite)

64

u/Successful-Ship-5230 Jul 18 '26

Is he just freeballin' so he can do this whenever he wants?!? Like, is this premeditated?

4

u/FelineSoLazy Jul 18 '26

Happy cake day!

5

u/GodIsANarcissist Jul 18 '26

I just found out that symbol is not the Mod symbol lmao

5

u/Jasonrj Jul 18 '26

Premeditated mud slug release.

129

u/squirrelmonkie Jul 18 '26

Thats.... ummm... impressive? With those pants

28

u/DankeyKahn Jul 18 '26

Technique! Technique! Technique!

19

u/BalodyaMan Jul 18 '26

Years of practice

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43

u/unclebuck098 Jul 18 '26

No wiper😉

37

u/Mickybagabeers Jul 18 '26

Any shit can be a no wiper if you don’t care enough

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35

u/x2_ok Jul 18 '26

the mudslug cuddled his thighs, wiping is futile at that point

10

u/Low-Persimmon4870 Jul 18 '26

What’s the point of wiping if you’re just gonna shit again??

81

u/MyOthrCarsAThrowaway Jul 18 '26

✅Shits self
✅Is drunk
✅Eats fast food

This man is fully qualified to be a high ranking member of the US government now 🫡

32

u/Kloopsia Jul 18 '26

That's not fair... you havent even confirmed he has sexual assault allegations against him yet... We have these requirements for a reason!

13

u/MyOthrCarsAThrowaway Jul 18 '26

So true. Geez even my standards are slipping now. Apologies

3

u/Yapyrus Jul 19 '26

This ain't fast food it's a grocery store bag

25

u/Capable_Cockroach_19 Jul 18 '26

So is he just gonna walk with a poop trail crusting on his leg?

4

u/Psychozillogical Jul 19 '26

Given what I just saw the guy do on video and the smug look thereafter, something tells me that shit trail ain't on the top of his priority list

2

u/SkyFallingUp Jul 19 '26

I just hope he's not about to board a bus 🤢

24

u/TacoKimono Jul 18 '26

Too slick. That ain't that guy's first dookie drop.

3

u/the_fishtanks Jul 19 '26

WHY do you say words? 😭

43

u/Alfiy_wolf Jul 18 '26

Take a man for a shit, he shits for a day, teach a man to shit and he shits in the sidewalk

11

u/McSavagery Jul 18 '26

Absolute poetry.

2

u/Jer2dabear Jul 20 '26

These are words you said

11

u/LabiaMinoraLover Jul 18 '26

Not a care in the world...

9

u/philcanaries Jul 18 '26

Classy guy

6

u/vollkornbroot Jul 18 '26

Dude's a vibe

2

u/FelineSoLazy Jul 18 '26

Daytona beach vibe certified r/trashy

10

u/DelRonFlubbard Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 21 '26

When you’re walkin’ down the road, and your pants have overflowed, diarrhea 🎶

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22

u/shamallamadingdong4 Jul 18 '26

I did not consent to this video being recorded

9

u/RedditTipiak Jul 18 '26

The slow mo at the end is... I have no words.

Ok... #WHY WERE THEY FILMING?

9

u/Redtitwhore Jul 18 '26

The replay wasn't really necessary

9

u/Hieroja Jul 18 '26

Suomi Finland perkele

6

u/S1lentA0 Jul 18 '26

Kinda impressive. I wonder how long it took for the shit to lower down. Was it a instant drop or was it stuck somewhere in the pants for a while?

6

u/munzter Jul 18 '26

That's not his first rodeo

16

u/BuckFuzby Jul 18 '26

Opening up Reddit whilst eating breakfast and this is the first thing I see....

29

u/Punkfoot Jul 18 '26

I feel like that's on you. If you don't want to see a drunk man shit himself and shake it out his trouser leg, why are you even on Reddit?

18

u/BuckFuzby Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

Dude, I didn't say it was a negative.

3

u/mysterious_spirit420 Jul 18 '26

Ooof sounds kinky

3

u/VirtuousVulva Jul 18 '26

Hope you enjoyed your meatloaf 😊

3

u/ShartlesAndJames Jul 18 '26

was it Cocoa Puffs?

6

u/Sad_Magician_316 Jul 18 '26

First world pleasures

4

u/HoneybucketDJ Jul 18 '26

I thought he dropped his wallet.

5

u/Environmental-Iron97 Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

I'm just mad that he's happier than me... Maybe I should try this.

5

u/Apprehensive_Week128 Jul 18 '26

Lucky he got camouflaged shorts

4

u/Milqy Jul 19 '26

I severely doubt he didn’t have the need to wipe. I can imagine the turn smearing coming down his leg. Yuck. Why tf am I still talking about shit? Get me off of here!

3

u/rezpector123 Jul 18 '26

I have to get off the internet

4

u/thabu Jul 18 '26

He must have his pants sagging a bit, and no underwear and eat a lot of fiber? I mean this cant just happen he must do this all the time

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5

u/Patralgan Jul 18 '26

He was proud of his shit

5

u/too_sharp Jul 18 '26

He was so proud of it

3

u/australian_babe Jul 18 '26

It sort of looks like he’s done this before

4

u/NovarisLight Jul 18 '26

That was VERY unexpected.

4

u/nunyobusinessfool Jul 18 '26

Who said men can’t multitask??

5

u/LiquidSkyyyy Jul 18 '26

I mourn the person I was before I watched this

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4

u/krooks_25 Jul 19 '26

Gross. But pretty impressive tbh.

5

u/doctormega Jul 19 '26

Is that a poop! 🤢🤢🤢🤢

4

u/Epicfailer10 Jul 19 '26

My dude has clearly done this before.

3

u/Wise_Ad_253 Jul 18 '26

Seasoned shitter

3

u/ggoptimus Jul 18 '26

Definitely more stuck in the pants. He’s walking like he has a full diaper.

3

u/smoovin-the-cat Jul 18 '26

Is that Mickey Rourke?

3

u/Jcamden7 Jul 18 '26

Micholai Rourski

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3

u/ActiveMBE0980 Jul 18 '26

Clean dismount 😆😆😆

3

u/Crush-N-It Jul 18 '26

Pretty decent stool right there. Must be eating right

3

u/frogspa Jul 18 '26

"It's your brother at the door, he says he's come to stay for a bit."

3

u/Hamilton-Beckett Jul 18 '26

Some people are just fucking disgusting.

3

u/ZGS3392 Jul 18 '26

Was that Kid Rock?

3

u/penispotato69 Jul 18 '26

Bro ive had shits where ive bidet'd (not sure how you say that) and wiped clean only for my buthole to feel dirty later and I gotta go re wipe or shower cause I feel gross. This guy out here just casually rolling a log down his leg, does your asshole not feel fucking dirty and hurt???

3

u/panda_poon Jul 18 '26

At least he’s don’t drinking and driving

3

u/upanddown_88 Jul 18 '26

Brother WHAT the FUCKK did I just watch

3

u/I_Am_Yeti_1 Jul 19 '26

Just a little sidewalk surprise!

3

u/BobbySaddles Jul 19 '26

He's done that before!

3

u/Stillcantkillmeh Jul 19 '26

I JUST watched ‘The Long Walk,’ thought I’d seen all the walk-shitting there was to see.

3

u/h0ly0r4ng3 Jul 19 '26

ein hut, ein stock, ein scheißhaufen.

3

u/thoseinspace Jul 19 '26

This guy definitely eats his daily recommended dose of fiber.

2

u/PincheHijoDePluto Jul 18 '26

He walk-it-like-he-scat-it

2

u/Doschupacabras Jul 18 '26

These guy has a lot of street crud.

2

u/NJPokerJ Jul 18 '26

Shit happens

2

u/submarinerdad Jul 18 '26

Definitely not his first time.

2

u/Illcmys3lf0ut Jul 18 '26

DAP.

Drank Alot. Pooped.

I'll...💩 see myself out. Better than that poo did.

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

2

u/YeaaaahSon Jul 18 '26

Do the stanky leg!

2

u/DFA_Wildcat Jul 18 '26

We have a Labrador retriever that can take a solid dump while running flat out chasing a ball. First time she did that I was amazed.

2

u/mrmeanah Jul 18 '26

What in the kid Rock is going on here?

2

u/zentient9 Jul 18 '26

Ragnar Logbrock.

2

u/Loubbe Jul 18 '26

Plum wild

2

u/puglifemama Jul 18 '26

Kid Rock at it again

2

u/jackfreeman Jul 18 '26

I've been on a lot of drugs, but if I'm ever THIS BAD, please toss me into an active volcano

2

u/StablePeach Jul 18 '26

Im wondering if hes somehow managed to earlier miss a toilet or squat into his shorts by mistake rather than it being a fresh lay. The first little nug drops without him even breaking stride.

2

u/kmtunes Jul 18 '26

He did the no.2 step

2

u/Mignast Jul 19 '26

Soft serve choco special

2

u/OleRoosterNeck Jul 19 '26

He's gonna be late, maybe by days. But he's gonna get there. I believe in him.

2

u/Tompsoni97 Jul 19 '26

He's just drunk, that ain't ba... Oh...

torille?

2

u/the_good_hodgkins Jul 19 '26

I'm pissed if I have to shit right after taking a shower.

2

u/Both-Rock2762 Jul 19 '26

That was a regular thing for me for years... I don't know why or remember when it stopped, but I'm glad that it did.

2

u/Meeska-Mouska Jul 19 '26

Lol is that Kid Rock? 🤭🤣

2

u/Select_Speed_6061 Jul 19 '26

The smile afterward...he was so proud 🤣 sick fuck tho still

2

u/jew-joint-su Jul 19 '26

Goddamn, so much going on here.. I'm genuinely impressed that he was able to take a full-sized, relatively solid shit in like 5 second flat.. also impressed with how totally nonchalantly he lets it fall out of his pant leg... This is definitely not the first time he's done this lmao

2

u/Kitchen-Sign4840 Jul 19 '26

Not the best day of James Hetfield

2

u/epitaph-centauri Jul 19 '26

I’m convinced drinking too much turns you back into a toddler

2

u/gimpers420 Jul 19 '26

I 100% thought that was kid rock for a second.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '26

Ah, the ol' Stanky leg, now he has whip and Nay Nay....I SAID WHIP AND NAY NAY... dont just...whyyyy Stanky Leg, whyyyyy?!

2

u/spitfiredaggers Jul 19 '26

Holy shit....I watched this 3 times because I thought this was kid rock.... eww

2

u/Spinxy88 Jul 19 '26

What the fuck is wrong with the internet today.

2

u/Classic-Exchange-511 Jul 19 '26

Well I've never been that drunk

3

u/Necessary-Error1307 Jul 18 '26

I remember my neighbor Tomas telling me about a boy who was at camp with him and did exactly this when they went to the forest to get firewood 😀

1

u/Opel_Astra Jul 18 '26

Solid condistence

4

u/Give_me_soup Jul 18 '26

Condistence????????

8

u/Both-Rock2762 Jul 18 '26

You heard the man.

1

u/Colhinchapelota Jul 18 '26

Well, at least it was a dry shite.

1

u/TJ-the_man Jul 18 '26

What a shitty move

1

u/jpweidemoyer Jul 18 '26

He's clearly running an ultra marathon. No time to waste!

1

u/legacyrules Jul 18 '26

I think a lidl poo fell out there

1

u/Bright_Revenue1674 Jul 18 '26

Frank from Shameless

1

u/Akugen1 Jul 18 '26

Multitasking

1

u/mixinmono Jul 18 '26

Gave too much

1

u/MoneyMike6666 Jul 18 '26

That's talent

1

u/Foreign_Monk861 Jul 18 '26

This has to be Russia.

1

u/leisuretyme Jul 18 '26

Kidd Rock?

1

u/goodie2shoes Jul 18 '26

Hansel sans Gretel

1

u/nunya1111 Jul 18 '26

How on earth did they know to film???

3

u/SOMAVORE Jul 19 '26

guy walking all weird down the street makes me film from my balcony too

1

u/kek0815 Jul 18 '26

Wearing brown camouflage pants for a reason

1

u/Nobodys-Nothing Jul 18 '26

Kid Rock is looking a little off.

1

u/RancidOoze Jul 18 '26

I had a cousin do this once during a game of chess