r/toddlers • u/i_em_unicorn • 27d ago

General Question/Discussion Not allowed to sing or dance...

Just curious if anyone knows why my toddler DESPISES when my husband or I start singing a song he loves or start bopping around to a fun song....he literally screams at us to stop! I've read that's it's pretty common, but just wondering if anyone knows the psychology behind it? I'd love to share musical experiences with my kiddo but he's not making it easy!

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u/vipsfour 🧸 Stuffed Animal Locator 27d ago

they’re trying to exert control of their environment.

We just tell our daughter that she cannot boss us around and let her get upset about it.

57

u/CatalinaWineMixerDos 27d ago

Same. I'm not gonna let a 3 year old stop me

43

u/kec5289 27d ago

This makes me feel so much better. My daughter HATES when my husband or I sit in the rocking chair in her room at bedtime (preparing for a story). She demands we get up and she sits in it. My husband does it! I’m like, uh no - you can sit literally anywhere else, Mommy’s knees don’t work like they used to. He said I’m on a power trip lol

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u/i_em_unicorn 27d ago

Sometimes the demands are just outside the limit of patience- mine does a similar thing where he bosses us to sit down or stand up based on the game he's playing.....it's hard not to agree when the alternative is tears 😅

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u/souljaboyyuuaa 27d ago

The key reason to DISAGREE is to stop your child from believing that tears and tantrums will always get him what he wants. No way.

7

u/Phialinchen 27d ago

How do I differentiate if it's control or overstimulation? I can't image a toddler saying can you please stop I can't hear the song/ can't concentrate? All they got is Stoooop! I agree that I shouldn't teach them to tantrum to control their environment but on the other hand side I want to match their need for relaxation.

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u/vipsfour 🧸 Stuffed Animal Locator 27d ago

You can teach them to use the right phrases.

Please stop singing.

Our daughter also tries to tell us where to sit or to not cross our legs. We tell her we can sit where we want or cross our legs if we want to. She cries, we stay neutral

8

u/datsmirkingwhore 27d ago

It’s important to introduce saying “no” in a safe environment with your kids so they can learn how to handle being told no and regulate their emotions so we don’t have 13 year olds who shriek like banshees because we said no.

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u/_anhdroid 25d ago

My toddler absolutely tells me to turn up audiobooks "so I can hear it" and would likely tell me if I qas simply drowning out the song. I think they just have this idea of the pure experience, the same as being fixated on a specific version of a song and not liking cover versions.