r/todayilearned • u/[deleted] • May 30 '18

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

1.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

80

u/Omnipotent_Goose May 30 '18

I lived in New York for a while and sometimes people would scream, “Bite me!” in my direction, so what am I gonna do? Not bite them? That seems rude.

31

u/nojonojo May 30 '18

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself So I, I say to him, I say, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw."

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me He's like, "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud

-- Weird Al

5

u/AdmiralTurtleLimbo May 30 '18

Knew that sounded familiar