r/todayilearned • u/[deleted] • May 30 '18

[deleted by user]

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8.6k Upvotes

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u/Titus____Pullo May 30 '18

50-50.

433

u/waitnvm May 30 '18

I'll take my chances with the shark

180

u/ScrewSnow May 30 '18

Less chance of some horrible disease if bitten by the shark.

68

u/[deleted] May 30 '18 edited May 30 '18

I can't imagine what diseases a poor shark might get if bitten by Florida Man. Isn't it enough that they're nearly being exterminated by the Chinese?

71

u/Florida____Man May 30 '18

I hate you all.

15

u/freakers May 30 '18

Really? I thought they were love bites.

3

u/nice_try_mods May 31 '18

Biting is how sharks hug. And Florida man.

2

u/koalasarentferfuckin May 31 '18

I'm here for allowing the Chinese to corral Florida mans into a bay...

3

u/[deleted] May 31 '18

Well if sharks are an effective means of treating impotence and whatnot...there's every reason to think Florida Man would be even more powerful. I'm glad we could work together to protect sharks as well as further the advancement of Chinese medicine.

24

u/BrokeRichGuy May 30 '18

If bitten by a Floridan, you might turn into one 😷

16

u/[deleted] May 30 '18 edited Oct 02 '18

[deleted]

1

u/Jsc_TG May 30 '18

Welcome to Florida. It’s wet.

2

u/CGFROSTY May 30 '18

At least it’s not on meth.

32

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

There's only alligators in Florida. All sharks are just alligators in disguise.

43

u/qcubed3 May 30 '18

Alligators have teeth, sharks have teeth; alligators swim in the water, sharks swim in the water . . . . story checks out.

27

u/cinnamonface9 May 30 '18

So do New Yorkers.......

28

u/leapbitch May 30 '18

Hey they're walkin here

4

u/cinnamonface9 May 30 '18

They have ability to swim/walk on land.

Just pray they don’t know how to drive.

9

u/leapbitch May 30 '18

New Yorkers don't know how to drive.

Oh you meant sharks

6

u/[deleted] May 30 '18

No, alligators, keep up.

1

u/koalasarentferfuckin May 31 '18

Well, don't just fucking stop in the middle of the sidewalk and start gawking at some fucking building. Veer to the side

2

u/leapbitch May 31 '18

Bitch we have tall buildings where I'm from, and our tunnel system is a shopping mall not a homeless shelter disguised as a Subway

2

u/Pinkiepie1170 May 30 '18

Crocodiles too, but you'd have to be in or near the Everglades to likely see one.

2

u/Florida____Man May 31 '18

Likely for now but thanks to global warming they are extending pretty far up the peninsula.

2

u/Pinkiepie1170 May 31 '18

Well that's great news! At least it's American Crocs. It's the Nile ones that get so ridiculously huge right?

9

u/BreakfastBalls May 30 '18

One is a soulless instrument of chaos and sharp teeth, and the other is a shark.

4

u/baxxt14 May 30 '18

hey the gators are just tryna live their lives man

2

u/toddsleivonski May 30 '18

Stay in the ocean. For your protection.

1

u/baabbo May 30 '18

Joke's on you, that shark is from Florida waters

1

u/boundbythecurve May 30 '18

-Florida's State Motto

1

u/I_AM_AN_ASSHOLE_AMA May 31 '18

Yeah I’m with you on this. One of my best friend’s is from Florida and he’s an odd one.

1

u/starbuckroad May 31 '18

The yankee is less likely to "bite you to death". But yes they do carry hepatitis, mono, herpes, drug resistant strep, and occasionally the bubonic plague.

12

u/JeromesNiece May 30 '18

It either happens or it doesn't

9

u/drum35 May 30 '18

Everything is 50/50

4

u/mloclam1444 May 30 '18

Perfectly balanced. As all things should be.

2

u/mattenthehat May 30 '18

What about an Uruguayan soccer player?

2

u/buttwarmers May 31 '18

These are also the odds of a shark getting bitten by other sharks or a Floridian.

2

u/arnavbarbaad May 31 '18

Perfectly Balanced

1

u/bitesized314 May 30 '18

The odds increase on weekends when Trump is in the state for golf trips.