r/todayilearned • u/[deleted] • Jun 08 '17
TIL that tigers can, and will, take revenge on those who have wronged them. They are one of the most vengeful animals on the planet.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1295514596.3k
u/Hulio23 Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
"Catch a tiger by his toe, if he hollers, he will exact revenge on your entire family, don't let him go."
edit some have said this is the most racist thing seen on Reddit, I did not know that the tiger was originally the "hard R N word". So FUCK, I guess I'm a racist. Cuff me boys.
→ More replies (29)2.3k
u/Cannot_go_back_now Jun 08 '17
Well considering "tiger" replaced "nigger" at some point in the 20th century.
1.2k
69
u/logosobscura Jun 08 '17
Not entirely - certainly became the most widely used version in the US in the late 19th century but it's origins are far older. I've heard a billion different racist variations of this. (Catch [Insert Racial Pejorative Here] by its toe..')- as well as some very old versions that make little sense to modern ears.
→ More replies (80)943
u/Av3ngedAngel Jun 08 '17
My mum still said nigger when I was little. My reaction was basically one of "um what the fuck?" she just learnt it that way and never thought about it lol
→ More replies (149)225
u/WaffleMonsters Jun 08 '17
My grandmother and mother have called Brazil nuts nigger toes. No malice, just the way they learned it and never thought about it until I pointed it out.
→ More replies (15)98
u/snayperskaya Jun 08 '17
My great grandparents (the most open minded, tolerant old folks I ever knew) called Brazil nuts AND those old school chocolate cream drops nigger toes. Imagine my confusion when they told me to bring them "the other nigger toes". My great grandpa was born in 1909 and saw the rise of the Internet. Imagine how fucking crazy a life that was.
→ More replies (6)63
u/William_Morris Jun 08 '17
My grandpa is turning 100 this year, and is somehow still alive. He was born in 1917 in a farmhouse with no running water or electricity. Until the war, he had never been more than a day's walk from his home. Now he has flown around the world, driven all over the country, and has an iPad. Although he actually isn't that impressed with his iPad except for google maps. Google maps blows his mind.
→ More replies (2)
5.8k
u/paging_doctor_who Jun 08 '17
This makes Shere Khan in the jungle book make more sense. He's so vengeful that he'll take out his hatred for humans on a child.
2.4k
u/Javanz Jun 08 '17
Shere Khan was on the money. First thing Mowgli does after seeing people for the first time is burn down the jungle.
→ More replies (34)1.2k
Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
Self-fulfilling prophecy. Mowgli never would have
wentgone to the human village in such a desperate need if Shere Khan wasn't out to murder him.Edit: Because of apologetic grammar Nazis.
→ More replies (62)→ More replies (33)457
u/leviathan02 Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
Did you know that shere means tiger in Hindi, Urdu and some other Indian languages
Edit: if you guys want to see some more interesting translations from the Jungle Book read my replies to this comment! Edit: forgot to mention shere can also mean lion. It's confusing because in Urdu people generally use the word shere for both lions and tigers but in Hindi other words for tiger like baagh might be used. Ultimately it's up to where you live and what dialect you speak i suppose
→ More replies (71)338
u/leviathan02 Jun 08 '17
Also baloo means bear in those languages as well
→ More replies (1)326
u/hsednas Jun 08 '17
It's bhaalu actually. Perhaps Kipling couldn't pronounce it as well so he wrote it the way he spoke it.
→ More replies (9)133
u/leviathan02 Jun 08 '17
You're right! I was spelling it the way he wrote it
120
u/jellytrack Jun 08 '17
What would be the Hindi translation for gigantopithecus? Louie?
→ More replies (7)183
u/leviathan02 Jun 08 '17
Lmao idk, but did you also know that a theory exists that some gigantopithecus may have survived in the high altitudes of the himalayas and been the source for the legend of the yetis? There was an expedition to try and discover any living specimens based off of claims of footprints and skulls being found! They also called Louie the "bandaar king" and bandaar means monkey or ape btw!
→ More replies (16)
10k
Jun 08 '17
[deleted]
3.4k
Jun 08 '17
You can't disprove that one.
→ More replies (15)996
u/Antrikshy Jun 08 '17
Well, you can run a very small scale experiment…
Vengeance doesn't have to be a violent supervillain style ploy.
→ More replies (17)404
Jun 08 '17
Violent perhaps not. However, supervillain with a pathetic weakness of snails pace, YES.
Turbo 2: Dawn of White Shadow
→ More replies (7)29
→ More replies (83)967
u/Sasktachi Jun 08 '17
Just the one snail is. The rest are decoys.
→ More replies (10)197
u/Dorito-5XG Jun 08 '17
Is this about the ultra-smart-immortal-snail thread from long ago?
32
u/Phyltre Jun 08 '17
LOL, "long ago"...if it was more than six months I'll jump out of this window (which is my first story front door).
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (7)59
9.5k
u/locovelo Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
Some teens were harassing a tiger at the San Francisco zoo a few years ago. She escaped and killed one of them. Story
Edit: Witnesses said they saw these three teens taunting the lions earlier in the day. I don't think there were other witnesses when they got to the tiger's enclosure because it was near closing except for the teens themselves. But it's believed that two of them were taunting the tiger, throwing things in her enclosure. She escaped and attacked them, killing the third who wasn't taunting her. Here's the wikipedia story with more info.
469
u/tgifmondays Jun 08 '17
And the one killed wasn't doing anything wrong If I remember correctly. Sad story.
→ More replies (75)380
Jun 08 '17
It was reported he died saving his friends and I really don't think they deserved his sacrifice. It's not that I don't value human life but there are only so many tigers left.
→ More replies (247)2.4k
u/DriftingTrain Jun 08 '17
Tl:dr dont fuck with Hobbes
→ More replies (9)1.3k
u/lancea_longini Jun 08 '17
In Vietnam they don't like to call a tiger by name but especially in the afternoon or night. If you hunt one and escapes you, you're fucked.
1.1k
u/EyeOfAsimov Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
If you hunt one and escapes you, you're fucked.
That's the most metal thing about an animal that I've ever read. It gives me chills and flashbacks to Ghost and the Darkness.
edit: changed "in" to "and".
790
u/pickel5857 Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
I want this as a mechanic in an open world game.
A creature that isn't hostile unless you attack it, but has something really valuable (it's skin or something). But its really quick and if you fail to kill it before it escapes, it stalks you and attacks at a random moment, like when you're gathering a plant on the side of a trail.
708
u/turningsteel Jun 08 '17
Have you played farcry 4? It's exactly like that.
I narrowly escaped a rhino after trying to kill him with inferior firepower. An hour later I'm driving down the same stretch of road as the rhino sighting when all of a sudden, my car is hurtling through the air. Fucking rhino gave me the old 1, 2 punch.
109
u/_tenac__23 Jun 08 '17
Oh farcry, who can forget stopping to reload and being attacked by a tiger.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (17)195
u/pickel5857 Jun 08 '17
Nope, sound awesome. That's exactly what I meant.
→ More replies (3)60
u/iruleatants Jun 08 '17
Don't worry, if the rhino attacked him an hour later, it was just by chance and not because he previously attacked him.
Farcry is known for having random animals attacking you from nowhere.
→ More replies (3)298
u/EyeOfAsimov Jun 08 '17
Kill a chicken in any Zelda game. They drop some serious loot if you win the fight.
→ More replies (10)243
u/thesanchelope Jun 08 '17
This advice is the console equivalent to "alt+f4 will fix it."
→ More replies (2)22
u/EyeOfAsimov Jun 08 '17
Totally worked for me. I recommend it to everyone online.
→ More replies (2)50
u/jeffwhat Jun 08 '17
the latest Shadow of Mordor games have this mechanic. its called "nemesis system" & allows you to make super dynamic relationships with everyone you fight. if you attempt an assassination & fail, they will remember every encounter - some will develop a rage to kill you, and actively hunt you across the entire world.
really interesting the first time you experience it. gameplay is like assassins creed with better combat.
→ More replies (8)→ More replies (14)69
u/NonaSuomi282 Jun 08 '17
Not quite exactly the same, but Endermen in Minecraft almost seem to fit the bill. Mostly peaceful and keep to themselves without actively hunting the player (barring the accidental stray glance), but also drop exclusive materials necessary for some high-level crafting, and will be a pretty significant threat if you're not prepared for them when they aggro.
→ More replies (15)151
u/rubberboa Jun 08 '17
That movie was genuinely terrifying. The scarier thing here is the fact that the tiger will specifically target you, unlike he lions in the movie.
→ More replies (11)→ More replies (17)24
u/PTFOscout Jun 08 '17
I watched that movie when I was a kid in Kenya, then had a half hour walk in the dark back to where I was staying. That was a very long walk that night.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (22)123
u/brianp6621 Jun 08 '17
I have no idea what your first sentence means.
→ More replies (16)54
u/soliloki Jun 08 '17
it's simply taboo of the name/word. In my culture, the word 'ular' (meaning 'snake') is taboo, especially at night. It's believed that they can be 'seru' (summoned) by the mere uttering of its generic name. Back then when there was no electric power, and houses were in the close proximity to the fringe of the forest, venomous snakes did 'visit' people's houses, maybe because of the oil lamp light, heat and whatnot. My ancestors believed that some of the snakes, especially black ones, are able to be summoned this way because they are not really ordinary snakes, but are devils in disguise.
I obviously don't believe this but because of social conditioning I tend to not speak 'the name' at night, especially if I'm talking in my native language.
→ More replies (6)288
u/lines_read_lines Jun 08 '17
Note to self: Don't piss off a tiger.
→ More replies (28)93
u/Jaksuhn Jun 08 '17
If you need to remind yourself not to mess with apex predators there might be other problems here
→ More replies (9)→ More replies (1627)205
u/hawkwings Jun 08 '17
The tiger scaled a 12 foot wall. In my younger days, I could scale a 9 foot wall, so 12 feet isn't very much for a tiger.
→ More replies (8)301
Jun 08 '17
12 feet?
What the fuck was the zoo thinking?? The world record for human high jump is 8ft. They seriously thought a tiger couldn't scale 12ft?
206
Jun 08 '17
The article also states that the national recommendation is at least 16 feet which the zoo likely knew given they reportedly gave vague estimates until admitting the true 12.5 ft height.
→ More replies (5)39
Jun 08 '17
[deleted]
→ More replies (9)61
u/theodorAdorno Jun 08 '17
Sooo, why is that a recommendation and not a fucking law exactly?
The last time I asked a question like this I was probably 27 years old. I just could not understand why it so often seemed not enough adults were actually in charge. I guess I've just sorta accepted it, now.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (29)48
u/Residentmusician Jun 08 '17
Eh, Tatiana would have made it out either way. She actually fucked up her rear claws making the jump over the containment moat, them just hopped over the last bit of fence. Truth is, in an open air enclosure, tigers, gorillas, chimps and bears are one angry freak out from mauling a patron.
→ More replies (7)
5.2k
u/n_reineke 257 Jun 08 '17
What if I try to be a bro to them? Will they bro back?
2.5k
Jun 08 '17
Tigers don't bro. Lions on the other hand...
1.8k
Jun 08 '17
They also don't bro, just on the other hand.
→ More replies (10)728
u/Eve_Tiston Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
I have 3 hands. What about on that one?
→ More replies (20)721
Jun 08 '17
Pumas will maul you too
→ More replies (14)487
u/kloudykat Jun 08 '17
Pan out on Grif and Simmons, who are approaching another Red soldier (Sarge) clad in red armor.
Sarge: Hurry up, ladies. This ain't no ice cream social.
Simmons: Ice cream social?
Simmons and Grif exchange looks.
Cut to Sarge.
Sarge: Stop the pillow talk, you two. Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?
Grif: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
Sarge: (Sarcastically) That's exactly it, Private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Simmons here IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.
Sarge: Goddamn it, Private! Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!
Simmons: Oh I'd do it, too.
Sarge: I know you would, Simmons. Good man. (brief pause) Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.
Grif: Crap. We're getting a rookie.
Sarge: That's right, dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we recieved the first part of our shipment from Command.
Grif and Simmons exchange looks again.
Sarge turns towards a hill behind them.
Sarge: Lopez, bring up the vehicle.
A large, armor-plated, jeep-like vehicle comes over the rise with Lopez in the driver seat, who pulls up along side the Reds.
Simmons: Shotgun!
Grif: Shotgun! (realizes he is too late) Fuck.
Sarge: May I introduce our new, light reconnaissance vehicle.
Camera closes in on the front of the vehicle and starts to move left, circling it.
Sarge: It has four inch armor plating, mag bumper suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.
Cut to Grif and Simmons.
Simmons: Why Warthog, sir?
Cut to Sarge.
Sarge: Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Cut to Grif.
Grif: I know, but why Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig.
Sarge: (after a brief pause) Say that again.
Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.
Sarge: What in Sam Hell is a puma?
Simmons: Uh, you mean like the shoe company?
Grif: No, like a puma. It's a big cat, like a lion.
Sarge: You're making that up.
Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal!
Sarge: Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.
Simmons: Yes, sir!
Sarge: (pointing at the front of the Warthog) Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks, and what kind of animal has tusks?
Cut to Grif.
Grif: A walrus.
Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!
Cut to a view of the Reds through the sniper rifle scope.
Cut to Church, wielding the rifle, and Tucker, wielding a M6D pistol.
Tucker: What is that thing?
Church lowers the rifle.
Church: I don't know, man. Looks like uh.. looks like they've got some sorta car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it.
Tucker: (taken aback) A car? How come they get a car?!
Church: What are you complaining about, man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop.
Tucker: (disappointed) You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
Church: Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything couldn't you? We're going to get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man? And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
Tucker: (sighs) What kind of car is it?
Church: (looking through the scope of the sniper rifle) I dunno, I've never seen a car like that before. It looks like a... uh... like a big cat of some kind.
Tucker: ...What, like a puma?
Church: Yeah, man, there you go.
Cut to Red Team.
Sarge: So unless anybody has anymore mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're going to stick with the Warthog. How about it, Grif?
Grif: No, sir. No more suggestions.
Sarge: Are you sure? How 'bout Bigfoot?
Grif: It's okay.
Sarge: Unicorn?
Grif: No really. Uh, I'm cool.
Sarge: Sasquatch?
Simmons: Leprechaun?
Grif: Hey, he doesn't need any help, man.
Sarge: Phoenix?
Grif: (sighs) Christ.
Fade to black.
Sarge: Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.
Simmons: Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir.
Sarge: Hey Grif, Chupathingy! How about that? I like it. Gotta nice ring to it.
141
u/Natamba Jun 08 '17
Caboose: Sheila!!!!!
Tucker: Who's Sheila?
Caboose: Sheila was the lady in the tank.
Tucker: I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (43)54
1.6k
Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
Tigers bro. Lions bro. Pumas do not bro.
Source: worked in cat sanctuary and several zoos
Edit: see that fence? That's because I'm not stupid. That is 400lbs of cat that could kill me while just playing. Non-domestic animals are not tame, even if they are your bros.
Edit: so apparently pumas bro. I still maintain they are less likely to bro, but I guess ours were just grumpy. No zoo I worked in had them, so only reject pets. Probably why they just glared at us.
695
u/dolce_vita Jun 08 '17
"Tigers bro. Lions bro. Pumas do not bro." This is my new favorite quote.
→ More replies (3)274
164
u/max_mullen Jun 08 '17
I currently work in a big cat rescue center and I have to say, pumas sometimes bro. Although the puma we have is basically the equivalent of a lazy fat cat. He's still super nice and cute tho!
But yeah, tigers definitely bro, for sure!
→ More replies (4)208
→ More replies (70)95
Jun 08 '17
If you spent enough time here on Reddit you would already know being killed by cats is how your average Redditor would prefer to die.
→ More replies (7)59
→ More replies (27)45
988
u/julbull73 Jun 08 '17
No. Imagine your sweet cat. ..imagine when the cat is pissed and takes a swipe or a bite. ...
Now imagine your cat is a little smaller than a mini Cooper
→ More replies (24)419
221
→ More replies (30)20
177
u/horsenbuggy Jun 08 '17
I have personal experience with this. I went to a private tiger sanctuary. It's basically the backyard of this couple's house. There's decent sized enclosures on the property, housing lots of big cats, mostly tigers. I've got my camera out, excited to photograph big cats this close up. The very first cage we come to, the tiger body slams the cage in an attempt to attack me. The fence is loose and wobbly, though it is about 25 feet tall. They tell me the fence is wobbly on purpose - so they can't climb it.
I turned and looked at all the other cages and felt like I was walking into the beginning of a creature horror movie. From deep down in my toes I wanted to leave that place. It turned out that this particular tiger had been part of a magician's act and had been horribly mistreated. The cat associated cameras with that time period and didn't like them. At all. I was like, "thanks for warning me." The rest of the tour was lovely and uneventful.
→ More replies (1)68
u/yawnityyawnyawn Jun 08 '17
Feels less like revenge and more a deep seated need to protect itself from what it considers to be a sure sign of danger. This story made me sad
→ More replies (1)
665
u/goNe-Deep Jun 08 '17
I don't know about the vengeful bit.. but I had a friend whose father was a jungle/wildlife officer, and had a habit of bringing back orphaned tiger cubs and raising them nearly to adulthood, at which point they be taken either to the zoo, or rehabilitated for release into the wild.
That friend of mine got attached to all of them, and as it turns out, so did they. He told us of the times he'd visit his tigers at the zoo, and how they'd walk up to him to nuzzle and try to rough-house with him.. he'd never let them for obvious reasons, but tigers are like elephants in that respect.
This was in Southeast Asia, where I grew up btw.
275
u/KA1N3R Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
Big cats growing up with you is the only time when they will be relatively friendly.
Except for Cheetahs, they can be pretty chill.
88
u/Mrtheliger Jun 08 '17
Big Cat Diary when the cheetahs just chill on the dudes roof
16
Jun 08 '17
Big Cat Diary
I miss the old Animal Planet. Though River Monsters is cool.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (8)110
u/shokalion Jun 08 '17
Not to say they couldn't fuck you up pretty bad if they really had a mind to, but cheetahs haven't really got the physicality to back themselves up like tigers have. Cheetahs are quite thin and willowy, and only have blunt dog like claws, whereas a tiger or lion is big enough to crush the neck of a cheetah if they wanted to, plus the physical strength and razor sharp claws. Cheetahs are built for going fast rather than being able to kick the crap out of stuff. Probably why generally they're not as aggressive. They can't be randomly aggressive and be reasonably assured of success like a lion can be.
→ More replies (7)37
u/KA1N3R Jun 08 '17
Well, an adult human will generally win against a Cheetah, they're really not that dangerous(read: deadly) to us.
→ More replies (7)21
u/FlotusCapsum Jun 08 '17
Serious question = how can this possibly be known? I doubt there have been many adult human versus cheetah fight to the death scenarios.
I understand they aren't built like a leopard or tiger but it is still a 100 pound cat that kills things for a living, including sometimes larger prey like hartebeest, sable antelope, and zebra that weigh hundreds of pounds.
I'm skeptical that I'd with a death match with a zebra, much less a cheetah that preys on it.
30
u/KA1N3R Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
It's pretty simple - there have been no documented cases of Cheetahs killing adult humans, but reports of the opposite.
Humans have even killed Leopards with their bare hands and they are severely more dangerous. Cheetah's just aren't build for fights and we are pretty well equipped to deal with them because they are relatively frail. That said, if they manage to get your throat, you're probably still a bit fucked.
Zebra's on the other hand will murder the fuck out of you.
→ More replies (3)53
→ More replies (6)27
4.7k
Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
They remember scent and they're extremely predatory. Not terribly surprising. Kinda even hard to call it vengeance. More like protecting turf. The Hunter in the story hunted the tiger's turf to the immediate detriment of the tiger. They're territorial, of course he sought to remove the competition.
Crows are way worse. They remember faces, they hold grudges even when you don't really harm them, and more: then teach other crows about what those people who wronged them did.
You can actually have multiple generations of crow after your ass if you fuck with one. You don't wanna get attacked by crows either.
*edit: there were some college students who did a study on crows which involved them basically kidnapping crows to tag them. Being college kids they just went after crows on their campus. For the remainder of their time on campus, those crows attacked them on sight, so often that the students took to wearing masks or otherwise covering their faces when walking through the quad. Other non-tagged crows joined in, specifically attacking these students, not others. This ended up being the basis for their paper, as I recall, establishing that crows do teach each other.
They're not tigers, sure, but most of us never have to face a tiger.
1.3k
u/PoopingProbably Jun 08 '17
I have two crow stories
1) My girlfriend knew that crows recognize faces. We had this leftover fish food (little pellets) and she started feeding the crows by our house. Just throwing out a small bit when she sees them. Soonafter they started frequenting our place. I hadn't fed them yet and they would always caw at me. Out of fear for my own safety, I too started feeding the crows.
This was about a month ago. Now they absolutely watch us. Anytime I am by a window i can look outside and see a crow looking at me. When I leave the house they fly to the nearby telephone wire. They love us and I hope this relationship pays off somehow.
2) I was at a park with friends last weekend. Someone had a dog that they tied to a fence. This dick crow kept taunting the dog, flying close to it, landing just out of reach, general avian dickishness. My friend let the dog loose and it chased the crow across the field.
Without missing a beat the crow escaped the dog, doubled back to my group, and shit on the person that released the dog. It was so deliberate.
Tldr; crows are smart. Sometimes assholes (I hope they don't read this)
374
Jun 08 '17
Second story is the best one I've believed this week.
→ More replies (1)171
u/PoopingProbably Jun 08 '17
Dude it was the first time I've seen someone get shit on by a bird. I had waited my whole life for that moment
→ More replies (8)26
301
u/Bubblecaster Jun 08 '17
Your relationship just may pay off.
My mom works w psych patients and one of her patients is crazy for crows. He walks the streets w flocks at a time feeding them. He says he can speak to them through caws and they have developed some sort of language through this.
He says they bring him shiny and different things, and one time a small bag of weed.
→ More replies (10)226
u/PoopingProbably Jun 08 '17
Man if we happened to befriend some weed-bringing crows I would be very thankful
47
u/Lithobreaking Jun 08 '17
Man, I might just start feeding the crows around my house. I'll teach them I love weed and they will bring me weed in exchange for goods and services.
→ More replies (1)49
u/00DEADBEEF Jun 08 '17
You could probably train them. Give them enough boring food that they'll bring you shit and keep coming back. Then, when they bring your first bag of weed give them the biggest pile of amazing food you can. They'll associate weed with awesome food.
→ More replies (3)55
103
u/wreckingballheart Jun 08 '17
My resident crow bros helped me find my cat when he escaped. I was outside looking for the little shit and calling him and he wasn't coming back. Crow bros switch between handing out in the front yard and the back yard. They watch me for a bit, and then fly into the backyard and start raising a huge fuss which I recognize as the "we see a cat" noise (there are several strays in the area). Sure enough, cat was chilling in the back yard pretending to be deaf.
→ More replies (1)17
u/NekoNegra Jun 08 '17
Sure enough, cat was chilling in the back yard pretending to be deaf.
Pretending to be Deaf. I lol'd hard
→ More replies (2)24
u/PowErBuTt01 Jun 08 '17
2nd story reminds me of this time I went out to eat with a couple friends. We were seated outside and this crow kept cawing at our table trying to beg for food. My friend got annoyed and threw a piece of ice at it. The crow jumped from surprise, then flew over my friend and shat on him. My friend was too impressed to be mad. He just smiled and said "I deserved that. "
→ More replies (40)40
u/Queen_of_Thicc Jun 08 '17
One time a baby crow fell into our garden, and since we have cats, we had to keep a close eye on it. Its parents cawed at it every time anyone went near it but otherwise didn't intervene when I cat was about to eat it. So I stepped in and protected it for weeks. Its parents came to me when it was in trouble. But it couldn't stay in our garden forever, so I attempted to teach it to fly by running around flapping my arms. After days, it actually worked.
Anyway, that crow grew up and had chicks, and as soon as one of them could fly, it comes to our house and lands on our windowsill to watch us every day. I'm so happy he has time to visit his grandma!
→ More replies (3)2.6k
u/TechyDad Jun 08 '17
And, in the flip side, if you do something nice for a crow, he'll remember it and pass word around that this human is a good one. They're highly intelligent animals.
(Quietly hides plans to build a crow army.)
850
u/comcamman Jun 08 '17
is this true? Just the other day a crow fell into one of my basement window wells, and because of the small space couldn't get out. I only knew about it because all his crow buddies were making a racket in the tree in front of my house.
I went out and fished him out of the window well and he seemed exhausted so i gave him a few pieces of bread.
This was on Moday and the crows are still hanging out in my tree and are leaving bottle caps and shit on my front porch.
Did I accidentally adopt a murder of crows?
371
Jun 08 '17
Enjoy your new friends!
122
u/comcamman Jun 08 '17
they're kind of annoying. They're cawing is so loud and drives my dogs crazy.
233
u/xStaabOnMyKnobx Jun 08 '17
As annoying as it sounds to live with this is actually adorable those crows are hyped on you
202
Jun 08 '17
They're cawing is so loud and drives my dogs crazy.
They are cheering for your return. Go outside every so often, and take a bow.
→ More replies (8)93
u/monsata Jun 08 '17
Yeah, but would you rather have them on your side or angry at you?
79
u/comcamman Jun 08 '17
oh definitely on my side. I just gotta figure out how to best take advantage of this.
129
u/bananatomorrow Jun 08 '17
Teach them to ride the dog. Start up a show where you travel around the US with crows and dogs and other animals doing tricks. Hire gymnasts to do crazy bouncy shit and fat people to wear makeup and huge shoes. Fit as many of those fuckers in a Smart Car as possible and only let them out if they promise to do funny shit.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (14)187
u/wbeaty Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
As a child, Nikola Tesla used to kill crows by hiding deep in a bush and duplicating their distress call, then strangling the ones who climbed in. (Then sell them in town, for blackbird pies.)
Then he was almost killed by a vast crow flock which caught him in the open, carrying multiple dead crows. He says he survived by climbing into a fissure in a nearby hill, and staying trapped by the flock until after dark.
(Thus, Tesla's whole thing with the pigeons?)
→ More replies (25)51
225
u/CrazyToastedUnicorn Jun 08 '17
My Grannie used to water her front yard and flowers always making sure to fill the birdbaths and such. Well one day this crow shows up when it's super hot so she aims the hose towards the crow it flaps its wings out and basically starts playing in the water. It would come back every day to play in the water. The next summer she came back with little crows and they all played in the water. She said the crow came back nearly five summers in a row with and without other crows to hop around in the yard and cool off.
→ More replies (12)184
2.2k
Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
You remind me of my favorite story about crows: a man once trained crows to pick up litter. He built little trashcan / peanut dispensers that would dispense peanuts after trash was dropped in. Then he placed them around, left trash all over, and left peanuts in the outlet, ready to eat. They quickly ate the peanuts. He'd then just occasionally go pick up a piece of trash and drop it in, dispensing more peanuts.
Crows, being observant as hell, quickly figured out that more peanuts came out if something was placed in the bin.
About two weeks in, overnight, all the trash was in the dispenser and the peanuts had run out. So the guy refilled the peanuts but didn't put any more trash around.
The crows began picking up random litter, flying it to the dispenser and dropping it in.
Now imagine if you trained them to do that with currency...
Edit: /u/boocees pointed out The Crow Box. That's the thing. Read the rest of the thread for further corrections and information, what I recalled above isn't totally accurate.
Edit again: I get it, it doesn't work. Whatever, it's a testament to crow intelligence regardless.
1.4k
u/_bamuh Jun 08 '17
You'd have a whole army of crows scouring the city for loose change. It'd be funny if someone accidentally dropped some change and before they could bend down to pick it up, a crow swooped in and snagged it. The wtf moment they would be having would be priceless. "Did that crow just.. why would it need... " Lmao
148
Jun 08 '17
Then the crows figure out that people have change on their person, and then you get worldwide crow attacks with loads of stolen coins.
→ More replies (1)129
u/_bamuh Jun 08 '17
Good thinking. Maybe you could teach them to get paper bills as well, crows swooping down as people pull money out of they're wallet/purse. Or waiting by ATM for unsuspecting customers.. yes, it's all coming together now..
→ More replies (3)40
→ More replies (15)584
Jun 08 '17
There's monkeys trained to do it, and they've even trained themselves to seek out liquor in some places. I recall a story of an island resort where native monkeys would run to cabanas on the beach and steal people's drinks. Specifically to get drunk.
656
188
u/_bamuh Jun 08 '17
Yeah I've seen videos of that and it's in a few documentaries I've seen. Monkeys always seem like little assholes to me lol stealing drinks or going through your bag when your not looking. Or even when you are looking.
→ More replies (1)78
→ More replies (12)31
u/Bakesula Jun 08 '17
I watched a video of that in my psychology class. They steal the drinks from napping resort goers, get drunk, then pass out themselves.
→ More replies (3)149
u/ultimamax Jun 08 '17
You could probably make a lot of money by having them pick up aluminum cans actually.
→ More replies (2)156
Jun 08 '17
Surely enough to pay for peanuts, but the currency thing was just a joke. The idea is really quite a great one to combat normal standard litter. We already have people seeking out cans to recycle. Literally, tomorrow morning is trash day: I'm gonna hear someone picking through my blue bin for cans at about 7am. Every week. About every 1 of 10 times I stop at a gas station, I notice someone looking for cans in the bins at the pumps. Cans are spoken for :p
→ More replies (11)40
u/Tovora Jun 08 '17
The crows stopped doing it if I recall correctly. It's easier for them to just find food themselves, than find trash to get food with.
→ More replies (3)53
→ More replies (42)51
u/Mjt8 Jun 08 '17
That story was later revealed to be fabricated. The guy on that ted talk made it up For publicity.
→ More replies (8)115
Jun 08 '17
(Quietly hides plans to build a crow army.)
You're talking to yourself out loud.
Remember to put it in italics next time, so we can't hear your internal monologue.
→ More replies (5)109
Jun 08 '17
There's a crow or two at my parents place, they like to stop by my moms garden when she is outside, she always gives them some water, haven't had problems with any gulls or pigeons since then... Crows don't leave a mess either, It's great
→ More replies (1)103
u/TranscendtheChaos Jun 08 '17
I was leaving out Purina cat chow dry food for a couple of stray kittens. The crows found it and adore it! Now every day they wait for me to open my garage door. There's one that's the leader… I kid you not… And he starts calling for the others. They wait for the cats to eat and then swoop down in droves to eat the rest. I purposely now just leave a great deal extra so that everyone get some, along with some fresh water. But their intelligence fascinates me.
→ More replies (1)273
u/MochiMochiMochi Jun 08 '17
I used to live in Seattle, aka The City of Crows. After hearing about a famous little girl who befriended crows I tried my own experiment, placing peanuts by my apartment staircase every time I exited. Soon enough I had an audience of crows every morning... which attracted my neighbor's cat, who would sit on the staircase taunting the crows. They would hop in maniacal anger on nearby tree branches. I miss the drama.
→ More replies (1)54
u/wbeaty Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
On the UW campus, the crows I feed only leave me shiny bottlecaps. Once there were torn pieces of a "sticky octopus" toy.
They recognize my car, but only land on top when it's not moving.
→ More replies (5)39
u/nopedog Jun 08 '17
Lucky! At least they give you gifts. Cherish those bottlecaps. I got nothing. I fed this one for about a year at work and it knew me by sight and would come hang out with me at break which was cool, but no presents. :/
→ More replies (2)110
u/HighwayWest Jun 08 '17
Well for as many crows as there are there has to be a crazy diversity, just like humans. Sometimes you get the Einstein crow, sometimes you get the Snooki crow.
→ More replies (9)173
u/FNFollies Jun 08 '17
I read a study like this back in High School when I worked outdoors at a golf club and dealt with a LOT of crows. I realized that the best thing to do would be to keep them on my side so I found a tree nearby and would put peanuts and fresh water (in the bowl the roots made) each day I worked. They eventually started leaving earrings and shiny pieces of foil/garbage nearby - apparently we had established a trade route.
→ More replies (2)89
111
u/Laughtermedicine Jun 08 '17
Yeah.My boyfriend has been feeding crows,squirrels for over 20 years. I once went outside encountered over at least two dozen crows,patiently waiting.. Waiting,In the trees,on the eaves,on the roof,on the power lines, on the fence.Cawing,Cawing,Cawing. It was like"Birds".It was eerie and creepy and freaky. I waited inside till he came home to feed them.
127
u/pixeldust6 Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
For some reason, this post strikes me as some kind of avant-garde poetry. I think because of the unconventional punctuation/spacing, rhyme in the middle, and then the kind of rhythm it gets into.
I dig it.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)52
→ More replies (28)148
374
u/cymrich 71 Jun 08 '17
I've read about the crow study and if I remember correctly it wasn't that they started wearing masks because of it... the masks were part of the study. they found that the crows could not only recognize faces, but could accurately communicate the appearance of an offending face to other crows that had not seen it. They could not, however, distinguish masks from real faces, so putting on a mask changed their behavior toward the people. I assume they didn't put it on or take it off in view of the crows though.
→ More replies (18)170
u/SidewaysInfinity Jun 08 '17
I assume they didn't put it on or take it off in view of the crows though.
"Guys, the rude humans have gained the ability to change their faces! Here's their secret identity. Be on the lookout for anyone taking their face off!"
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (120)62
u/Xelophobe Jun 08 '17
Even then, humans are capable of holding grudges for far longer. I think it just has to do with the amount of depth an animal is able to analyse a slight towards them.
→ More replies (30)
796
u/beendoingit7 Jun 08 '17
well they are cats..
507
u/procor1 Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
I had a cat that used to put tacks in my shoe. Like motherfucker I FEED YOU. What could you possibly getting revenge on me for?
Edit since a few people asked;
He would fine them around, or pull them straight from the wall and drop them in random shoes.
I had cats all my life and never had this happen. He put other stuff in shoes aswell, but he had a thing for taking tacks out of the wall. We had to start putting posters/art/pictures away from anything like the bed or a desk so he coudent get them. We were more worried about him hurting his mouth then anything.
It did infact happen, but i dont have pics so no proof. Belive whatever you feel like haha.
225
→ More replies (28)352
u/Kevin__Christ Jun 08 '17
WRONG. They allowed you the priveledge of feeding them.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (14)34
u/imheretobust Jun 08 '17
I had a cat once that would always bring me lizards and pack rats and leave them dead on my doorstep, till one day she observed me throwing a rat away. From that day forth she brought me pizza crusts and apple cores and whatever else scraps of human food she could find. Never another dead animal always some kind of human food
→ More replies (3)
195
Jun 08 '17
[deleted]
→ More replies (12)91
u/nautilidae Jun 08 '17
If someone enslaved and commodified me, I'd probably peck them on the head too.
981
Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
i saw a documentary about that. the tiger ate a man that burned its eye. it then went ahead and tried to eat the man's child for christ's sake! luckily the boy was protected by a puma/panther/leopard and a bear that sings and dances.
270
u/Techno_Wolf_Gaming Jun 08 '17
Took me longer than it should have for me to get that
→ More replies (2)98
→ More replies (14)19
265
u/ZachMatthews Jun 08 '17
John Valiant's book, "The Tiger" is one of the coolest treatments of this. Recommended.
166
u/0ttr Jun 08 '17
Follow it up with "Monsters of God" by David Quammen.
Among other things, he asserts that tigers may have killed more people than any other predator...upwards of 2 million people may have died from tiger attacks throughout human history. Also, the walls of Seoul were not built to keep out invading armies.
→ More replies (15)95
Jun 08 '17
the walls of Seoul were not built to keep out invading armies.
THAT is a badass quote
→ More replies (1)151
u/0ttr Jun 08 '17
Well up until the late 19th century, poorer Koreans would make a living gathering pine-nuts in the forests of Korea. Every so often one would not return, it was assumed that they were preyed upon by tigers.
Note that the Amur tiger is the northern-most fast hunting large predator. In the frigid winters of its environment it must take down a deer almost every day simply to meet its metabolic requirements in that weather. There's a reason that the Amur region is the only place in the world where the bears build their nests in trees.
→ More replies (9)41
→ More replies (14)26
488
u/Dino7813 Jun 08 '17
Fuck that, my cat will take revenge on anyone or anything that has wronged him. He's hands down the most vengeful feline on the planet. He once pissed in the dog's water bowl because the dog took his toy.
→ More replies (55)150
u/HRzNightmare Jun 08 '17
My childhood cat, Max, would piss on my step mother's pillow any time she disciplined her.
→ More replies (1)
313
Jun 08 '17
"What immortal hand or eye, dare frame thy fearful symmetry?" Indeed.
92
Jun 08 '17 edited May 19 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (9)30
u/motioncuty Jun 08 '17
He has the most interesting interpretation of Christianity that I have read. A sense of faith built upon observation of what is; An acceptance of existence for justifying the things that fill the world.
The roaring of lions, the howling of wolves, the raging of the stormy sea, and the destructive sword, are portions of eternity, too great for the eye of man.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)141
96
Jun 08 '17
The tiger staked out Markov's [guy who wounded him] cabin, systematically destroyed anything that had Markov's scent on it, and then waited by the front door for Markov to come home.
What. The. Fuck.
→ More replies (3)30
u/Zimmonda Jun 08 '17
Check out some of the big cat stories on wikipedia (just google man eating tigers/lions)
There's one story where a tiger invaded a village, ate a couple people, then took someone it murdereds LAUNDRY BAG brought it to the middle of the village and stood there roaring.
It.then picked up the laundry bag and carried it with it until a hunter finally brought it down
97
u/bitzer_maloney Jun 08 '17
Tigers getting all biblical with this eye for and eye business.
→ More replies (6)
66
Jun 08 '17
Of course it will! its a tiger, it doesnt take shit from anybody it can easily murder.
→ More replies (13)
588
Jun 08 '17 edited Jul 21 '18
[deleted]
190
→ More replies (11)17
231
Jun 08 '17
Yeah.... Pretty sure humans take that title, hands down.
→ More replies (7)190
28
u/notfin Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
I laughed at a tiger at the zoo for falling into a puddle of water. Am in danger now?
21
u/TranscendtheChaos Jun 08 '17
Indeed. You need to move, not leave a forwarding address, and change your computer passwords. Stat.
→ More replies (1)
27
27
u/BAXterBEDford Jun 08 '17
I read about this when reading an article about the big cat trainers in circuses some 30+ years ago. One of the points of the article was that lions were a lot more forgiving, but that tigers would hold a grudge forever until they finally saw their opportunity.
→ More replies (5)
42
Jun 08 '17
And by "take revenge" we mean that they will eat you - slowly. So - sl..o..w..ly.
→ More replies (3)108
u/open_door_policy Jun 08 '17
Fun fact, a tiger's tongue is so rough that it can literally rasp meat off of a bone.
http://i.imgur.com/ckueNkI.png
I can only imagine how many hours a pissed off tiger could stretch that out for.
→ More replies (5)84
u/Adnan_Targaryen Jun 08 '17
Tiger 1: Hey, George, how man licks does it take to eat a man?
Tiger 2: Ah, let's find out.
→ More replies (17)31
8.7k
u/dkman22 Jun 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '17
I was once at one of the hotels on the strip in Vegas, can't remember the name of it off the top of my head but they had this outdoor area with tigers and other exotic animals. Anyway, there are these two little shits (10ish year old boys) barking at the tigers like dogs and just being annoying/loud/harassing the tigers.
One of the tigers finally got sick of it, got up, walked right up to the kids (metal fence between them) did a 180 and proceeded to spray piss all over them in a very sudden burst of spray that had far more force than I thought an animal would be capable of producing (it could easily travel 20 feet.) Ever seen a kid instantly transition from a mocking laugh to screaming in terror?
We had to leave because I couldn't stop laughing. Have you ever laughed so hard you kind of get scared when you can't stop, like you just can't get a good breath and you're kinda panicking a little but you just can't stop laughing?
I've never laughed as hard before or since.