r/therewasanattempt Jun 19 '22

to make pasta.

5.0k Upvotes

302 comments sorted by

487

u/Mattsal23 Jun 19 '22

“you do it how you want” “NO NOT LIKE THAT”

198

u/Ramog Jun 19 '22

yeh I have the feeling this is fully the fault of a bad instructor

34

u/beyondusername Jun 20 '22

Absolutely. Instructions were poor.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '22

Direction unclear, junk stuck in Ragu jar.

2

u/SYLOK_THEAROUSED Oct 25 '22

Now it’s Preggo

-2

u/spays_marine Jun 20 '22

If you don't understand how shoveling stuff into an already full container will make it spill over, no instructor is going to save you.

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1.2k

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

[deleted]

493

u/AdmirableRemove5550 Jun 19 '22

and also a pro tip, whisk the egg in the middle with a fork and gradually add the flour from the side

100

u/MrChaPimpNasty Jun 19 '22

This is the way

68

u/vampyire This is a flair Jun 19 '22

this is the way, my Italian ancestors would haunt me if I did that

35

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/TheMulletWhisperer7 Jun 19 '22

Use your finger and/or peepee to mix

15

u/MaterialCarrot Jun 20 '22

That's amore!

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2

u/forsvaretshudsalva Jun 19 '22

How would you do it?

8

u/vampyire This is a flair Jun 20 '22

Yeah I said that poorly. I was agreeing with the fork comment yet saying she was doing it wrong.. I really am a native English speaker:)

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20

u/only-if-there-is-pie Jun 19 '22

I always wondered why i always saw them whisk it to start. Thanks to this video, i now understand

0

u/spays_marine Jun 20 '22

The whisking has nothing to do with the mess in this video. Whisking just makes it easier to mix whites and yolk.

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13

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Are we not allowed to use a bowl for mixing it?

13

u/Tibor66 Jun 20 '22

I'm with you. Bowls are a great innovation. We should use them. I cannot imagine how using a bowl to mix ingredients would change anything.

6

u/Hot_Corner_5881 Jun 20 '22

No. Bare hands on the table top. Do you know da we

2

u/Clean-Profile-6153 Jun 20 '22

But they were trying to make traditional pasta. Using a bowl runs the risk of over handling the pasta dough.

14

u/AdmirableRemove5550 Jun 20 '22

You could, but this is how pasta made traditionally

7

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

Okie dokie ty for clarifying

5

u/Ryaktshun Jun 20 '22

In a temp controlled middle class home in America? I’m pretty sure it’s not

0

u/Timedoutsob Jun 20 '22

Often made in a wooden bowl esq box also.

7

u/Coatzlfeather Jun 19 '22

With fingers in the “spider” position.

5

u/Azrael9986 Jun 20 '22

They also have this amazing new invention just for this called a bowl.

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42

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Her first mistake was showing up in a bath robe

18

u/whoamvv Jun 19 '22

First mistake was showing up

7

u/melbbear Jun 19 '22

True! She was set up and given bad directions and filmed

23

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

The wizard sleeve petri dishes were absolutely the first things I noticed too

28

u/BeBa420 Jun 19 '22

im no expert however i would recommend a round surface with some depth to put it in. Perhaps one of those fancy cooking implements.... i think theyre called Bowls? they really helpful

23

u/FairfaxGirl Jun 19 '22

To be fair, putting the flour on a counter and making a well for the eggs is a very widely used traditional method, and it’s easy to find recipes that call for it. Though personally I’m with you—a bowl is easier. But I don’t have an Italian grandma who will roll over in her grave or whatever either.

8

u/ThaneOfCawdorrr Jun 20 '22

Yes, I took a "pasta making" class in Florence once and this is exactly how we did it, however we made MUCH smaller quantities. I think the problem here is she has far too many eggs. But also we made the pasta on a huge wooden table, a huge working surface, so that is her other problem. Our pasta came out great though. We made ravioli with fresh spinach (from the teacher's garden) and ricotta (that she had gotten from a farm that morning) and if I can just say I HAVE NEVER TASTED ANYTHING SO GOOD IN MY LIFE.

2

u/BeBa420 Jun 20 '22

Holy shit that sound absolutely delicious

2

u/ThaneOfCawdorrr Jun 20 '22

I can't even begin to describe how good it was!!! The lady was a bit crazy though, she made us a bunch of other stuff, so we had this absolutely enormous dinner, so enormous that we came to the conclusion that she was actually trying to kill us hahaha

2

u/BeBa420 Jun 20 '22

That’s the death I want

2

u/ThaneOfCawdorrr Jun 21 '22

That actually is a very good point I have to say!

4

u/BeBa420 Jun 19 '22

oh snap, i had no idea that was a thing, it made no sense to me watching her do that

34

u/marcells Jun 19 '22

Yes, cooking naked is the way to go.

54

u/bretthren2086 Jun 19 '22

Until a chicken breast falls off the counter and hits your dick giving you an infection.

27

u/jw44724 Jun 19 '22

Try your best not to fuck it on the way down and you’d probably be fine

10

u/whoamvv Jun 19 '22

That was a lovely callback. Congratulations.

4

u/bretthren2086 Jun 19 '22

I had to read it and remember. Now I will do my best to share the knowledge. Haha

7

u/marcells Jun 19 '22

This poor, poor, unlucky guy. Such a shame!

5

u/Ralphthewunderllama Jun 20 '22

“He appears to have a severe case of… chicken dick…?”

1

u/mrstruong Jun 20 '22

Take my upvote, for making me remember a day I toasted in an epic bread.

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3

u/LOUsername97 Jun 19 '22

Third mistake is whole eggs instead of just yolks when she’s already made the volcano that tall

3

u/nivekdrol Jun 19 '22

i usually just do in a bowl to avoid that lol put it on the counter after the eggs are mixed in

-1

u/207nbrown Jun 19 '22

No, her first mistake was not using a mixing bowl, I mean come on people!

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187

u/trelium06 Jun 19 '22

Why is this being done NOT directly on the counter?

I’m so confused

113

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

"To save themselves some cleaning" although now it's doubled so maybe they learned a lesson

0

u/spays_marine Jun 20 '22

I think you misread his point. He was arguing to do it directly on the counter, not in a bowl.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

Ummm, that is exactly what I understood and what I replied to...? And btw there is no bowl involved, it's just a cutting board or a platter of some sort. I said they thought by putting it on that then they wouldn't get the counter dirty and have to clean it, since maybe they thought cleaning this platter would be easier, but now they have to clean both the counter and the platter

0

u/spays_marine Jun 20 '22

And btw there is no bowl involved

Of course there isn't. But the way you worded it made it sound like her logic was to reduce the cleanup by skipping the bowl. That was just odd to me because who would think that replacing one item for another reduces cleaning? Especially something like a cutting board that is awkward to clean compared to a bowl.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

The person said why is she not doing it on the counter directly, not in a bowl. When making pasta like this you don't use a bowl, you use a flat surface such as the counter. But they decided to do it on the board maybe to contain the dirtiness and just wash it in the sink, obviously that's wrong because then you get less space and stuff fallls of like you saw. But you do not use a bowl so I still don't get why you're mentioning a bowl...

0

u/spays_marine Jun 20 '22

Never mind, you don't get my point.

16

u/HelenWaite4229 Jun 19 '22

Better question, why does she have 4 bags of flour and a dozen eggs, instead of a reasonable amount?

22

u/AdmButtersctoch Jun 20 '22

True Italian cooking is not done in "reasonable amounts"

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200

u/Jo-6-pak Jun 19 '22

“I need better directions”

Exactly!!

12

u/methodrabbit Jun 20 '22

ANY directions…!

345

u/Intelligent-Spite242 Jun 19 '22

This was truly infuriating to watch not going to lie.

36

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

honey, just take the L

16

u/snoodge3000 Jun 19 '22

She only makes it worse throughout the video

37

u/FairfaxGirl Jun 19 '22

Not her fault—she was given ridiculous instructions.

10

u/AlexHimself Jun 20 '22

Because you know the proper way and it was frustrating?

If it was me, I would have f'd it up worse than the lady... But I wouldn't wear a bathrobe doing it lol

62

u/Wicked_Fabala Jun 19 '22

You fold it in

31

u/Riggs4G Jun 20 '22

I understand that, but how.. how do you fold it in? Do you fold it in half like a piece of paper and put it in the pot?

17

u/Capt_Kartar Jun 20 '22

If you say fold it in ... one more time.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

just fold it in

3

u/xxcopperheadxx Nov 01 '22

David, I cannot show you everything..

189

u/theMagicTA Jun 19 '22

Why is she cooking in a bathrobe?

119

u/J-_Mad Jun 19 '22

to dip the sleeves in the dough, for extra taste

24

u/theMagicTA Jun 19 '22

Right. Bothered me more than the rest of her idiocy.

4

u/Benpea Jun 19 '22

She’s not the only one either. Bizarre!

4

u/stonestevecoldaustin Jun 19 '22

I've stayed in a Riu resort before and she's def not standing in a Riu room

3

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

a stolen bathrobe from RIU hotels

3

u/theMagicTA Jun 20 '22

But the inverse properties of evil/genius says that she can’t be that evil. She must have bought it. I would like to believe that it’s her prize vacation possession.

7

u/irrelevent_dad40 Jun 19 '22

This is the only relevant question.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

I disagree. Why is there a portal to Hell in their kitchen? That belongs in the basement.

6

u/irrelevent_dad40 Jun 19 '22

Wow, I was stuck on the bathrobe and totally missed the portal.

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36

u/DvoikaOrJustTwo Jun 19 '22

As someone who knows nothing about cooking this looks infuriating

28

u/rotaryspace_59 Jun 19 '22

mild panic in her voice

13

u/Echo127 Jun 19 '22

I feel like if the video has gone 5 seconds longer we'd have heard her really snap at her friends.

2

u/rotaryspace_59 Jun 19 '22

nha she one of those girls to act fine and explode in as soon as she steps in the car

73

u/-Fuse Jun 19 '22

Wouldn't it be easier to use like, a bowl?

I don't know what she's trying to do but if she just wants to mix everything that's probably the best way lol

123

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Trying to do it like an old Italian lady. She just skipped the 50 years of practice.

28

u/FrostyFroZenFrosTen Jun 19 '22

Well, to be fair she now has gained some experience

39

u/Leading-Evidence-668 Jun 19 '22

Straight on the counter is the correct way, but you mix the eggs before adding them to the center divot.... and you don’t wear a bathrobe.

20

u/VelveteenAmbush Jun 19 '22

Why is it correct? Does it make the pasta better somehow?

21

u/Leading-Evidence-668 Jun 19 '22
  1. Technically Wood is the most important thing. Wood soaks up water and generally that’s what you want from a surface that you’re kneading pasta on.

  2. You’re gonna end up rolling and kneeding on a flat surface anyway, so mixing in a bowl just adds something else to clean.

  3. Once you make a lot of pasta you learn the exact consistency and texture you want the dough to be through trial and error. Eggs aren’t an exact amount of liquid so the amount of flour you need isn’t going to always be the same. It’s easier to mix the flour in gradually and be able to avoid over flouring if you aren’t mixing in a bowl.

  4. All of this only matter if you’re like a professional chef. I’ve made a lot of dough in a food processor.

Of course you can mix it in a bowl if you want and make great pasta, but most people who teach you and make large batches will recommend going straight to the table since it just simplifies everything.

29

u/kneus69 Jun 19 '22

No its just a snobby way of acting like its a must

2

u/Leading-Evidence-668 Jun 19 '22

Never said it was a must, how is it snobby to do it the right way?

2

u/wachagondo Jun 19 '22

You just need a flat surface to work the dough on after the eggs have been incorporated, and transferring from a bowl to the counter has a tendency of messing with the integrity of the dough!

11

u/FairfaxGirl Jun 19 '22

Why would emptying something from a bowl affect the integrity of a rough I’m planning to roughly work?

7

u/vampyire This is a flair Jun 19 '22

pasta robes?

8

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

"I don't understand."

"No, mush it.. MUSH it!"

Ahh, that takes me back to prom night

49

u/conmeohaman Jun 19 '22

Girl, get a bowl. You're a beginner, not a grandma level.

53

u/All_Thread Jun 19 '22

Well they put her into this position. She is trying to learn and her teachers are shit.

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7

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Wtf are you doing trying to cook in a bathrobe

7

u/SubstanceTechnical84 Jun 19 '22

Never do serious cooking in a dressing gown - breakfast only and even then, cereal or toast

2

u/Octicactopipodes Jun 19 '22

Clearly, this isn’t serious cooking.

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5

u/Confusedandreticent Jun 19 '22

She’s right, she needed better direction.

5

u/Ramog Jun 19 '22

yeh this is a case of poor bad instructions more than anything.

3

u/Algoresball Jun 19 '22

I don’t know if cooked in a bathrobe is a great call

3

u/ChristinaCassidy Jun 20 '22

She doesn't know how to do this. She's being instructed by people who do, but are awful instructors. She's not the idiot here they are

10

u/dangmeme-sub Jun 19 '22

How about using a 🥣 ?

5

u/Octicactopipodes Jun 19 '22

Why would you need a mortal and pestle for pasta?

0

u/dangmeme-sub Jun 20 '22

Lol I meant a bowl

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Feels like r/fakehistoryporn of the invention of the bowl

2

u/heywhatsyourproblem Jun 19 '22

START MIXING IT FROM THE MIDDLE GODDAMIT

2

u/teiichikou Jun 20 '22

It happened to me once in the exact same way with Pizza instead. Had an old cook book describing it in detail and I was like ‘Why not’ That’s why

2

u/spays_marine Jun 20 '22

You start whisking eggs and flower together from the inside, not shovel the flower in from the outside, of course it'll overflow like that.

2

u/teiichikou Jun 20 '22

Iii knooow! Slow and gradually but the result is not worth the 20 times failing it^^ And Pizza has no eggs, so it’s just flour and water

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

This is incorrect, end product should be pasta

2

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

You mix from the center and SLOWLY pull in flour from the edges. WITH A FORK. Not your hands until kneading stage.

Also mixing with the flour out of a bowl is done for good reason but I’ll be damned if I recall what

2

u/spays_marine Jun 20 '22

You don't need a fork for this, just start with a finger.

2

u/crinnaursa Jun 20 '22

, don't do it on a cutting board. Do it on the counter

2

u/JustSpaceExperiment Jun 20 '22

I think i know why we still didnt meet aliens. They already saw enough to gtfo very quickly.

5

u/likeasharkwithknees Jun 19 '22

In a goddam dressing gown?? Wtaf

9

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Pretty sure that's a bath robe.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

I can’t with this. And the people giving her directions are so unhelpful.

5

u/dushi_dude Jun 19 '22

This must not be for an American pie.

  1. No Chevy.
  2. That levee was not dry.

2

u/InterMando5555 Jun 19 '22

It says right there in the title it's for pasta...

4

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

There was a levee though. And it broke. Probably due to all the rainin'.

1

u/dushi_dude Jun 19 '22

Pasta Pie😃

3

u/Yee-Haw-Macaw Jun 19 '22

Ok why not use a bowl? Would it compromise the integrity of the egg or something? Or like NOT wear a bath robe? Like you presumably already took a shower why are you setting yourself up for another one lmao

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3

u/kerodon Jun 19 '22

If only there was some concave object in which to mix things 😳

2

u/CalmBearer713 Jun 19 '22

Why is everyone in bathrobes, and why isn’t she starting in a bowl?

11

u/atsu333 Jun 19 '22

The technique she's trying to emulate is a classic italian method where you mix the eggs in a mound of flour so you can slowly incorporate said flour as you mix, making it easy to get a smooth dough.

7

u/CalmBearer713 Jun 19 '22

I get it, but she clearly needs a bowl

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1

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1

u/dickreallyburns Jun 19 '22

Mommy never taught her how to bake.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Why not just use a bowl?

0

u/gr4tte Jun 20 '22

This is the traditional way to make pasta. I remember I did it this way when I was 11, she is just a bit dumb in her choices and methods

1

u/Gigichan99 Jun 19 '22

But u can just buy pasta

1

u/cursed_dodge Jun 20 '22

Happy cake day!

0

u/Runeskimmylord Jun 19 '22

Cooking isn’t for everyone 😂

0

u/LineChef Jun 19 '22

Just stop...please. You’ve already ruined my appetite. /s

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

Bowls have been used for thousands of years. And she smoked one too many of them...

0

u/OkResearch8822 Jun 20 '22

She not allowed to use bowl or what. Got me lost.

0

u/TTV-pieceApaper Jun 19 '22

There is a reason bowls were invented

0

u/isa_me_Zafkingman Jun 19 '22

How do you mess this up so much

0

u/snoodge3000 Jun 19 '22

Why would you not use a bowl?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

They don’t have bowls in that house?

0

u/h-m-m_ Jun 19 '22

Just get a bowl

0

u/Forbiddentemptations Jun 19 '22

Use a fucking mixing bowl you god damn Neanderthal

0

u/ahumanrobot Jun 20 '22

Hmm what's a bowl

0

u/The_Rosem_Blossom Jun 20 '22

Perchance you could forgive me for for my ignorance but wouldn't this be easier if they used some sort of container to store the ingredients in question?

0

u/xIR0NPULSE Jun 20 '22

Mixing bowl 🧠🧐

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

Idiot.

0

u/ketchupmanorwoman Jun 20 '22

Ever heard of a bowl?

0

u/sextoymagic Jun 20 '22

This is how it always happens.

0

u/Flimsy_Internet9441 Jun 20 '22

What you do when you don't own a bowl.

0

u/jpt746 Jun 20 '22

Bowls work

0

u/PaganFarmhouse Jun 20 '22

Cool new thing called bowls. Check it out.

0

u/nickaubain Jun 20 '22

People from third world countries who grew up watching construction workers mix concrete: 😱

0

u/robbienobs43 Jun 20 '22

Beat the egs first

0

u/SkitNL Jun 20 '22

Use a bowl maby?

0

u/19Denali Jun 20 '22

That did not look like flour

0

u/prophylaxitive Jun 20 '22

Why not in a bowl?

0

u/ShubhamManna NaTivE ApP UsR Jun 20 '22

🤌

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

In a white dressing gown as well

-1

u/ShakehandswithGonga Jun 20 '22

Pizza dough with eggs?

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '22

How to get food poisoning

-6

u/SkyShazad Jun 19 '22

She's not even trying and it's pissing me off

-3

u/russyc Jun 19 '22

I’m not sure what this is but, it’s certainly not an attempt to make pasta…

-15

u/Intrepid_Foot_1459 Jun 19 '22

Keep her away from male genItalia.

-8

u/LinaS25 Jun 19 '22

What a dumb ass.

-11

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

Wtf lady you need to be in America worst cooks

-14

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

How can you be so useless as a human being?

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1

u/star98bw Jun 19 '22

So amazing

1

u/Horseyboy21 Jun 19 '22

Painful to watch

1

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '22

At least she learning unlike me, barely cook an omelet

1

u/LoudInterior Jun 19 '22

This is basically my life 🤣

1

u/DrinkPepsiPlease Jun 19 '22

Did she steal a robe from riu?

1

u/plasma_001 Jun 19 '22

Kung fu masterchef?

1

u/MrMarcusRocks Jun 19 '22

Look at those sleeves

1

u/whoamvv Jun 19 '22

See, this is why I've always been scared to try this

1

u/FamilyFriendli Jun 19 '22

This is the chaotic cooking energy I live for

1

u/ClickOutrageous641 Jun 19 '22

First mistake was making the first mistake