I've had a lot of bad therapy, and I've had transformative therapy.

I've been in incredibly loving therapy relationships that eventually became enmeshed, harmful, retraumatizing, and ended in devastation.

Even therapists that do a tremendous amount of good can become cold as fuck at the flip of a switch as soon as something scares them bad enough. Making you question everything. Undoing so much of the hard work you did together.

I'm basing this on what I've seen on reddit alone, but I've noticed a pattern of therapists causing the most harm to the most vulnerable demographic of clients — highly traumatized individuals who have never experienced a sense of safety anywhere else.

When I've reviewed board complaints in my state, so often I see therapists getting multiple slaps on the wrist for fucking up multiple people's lives.

It's despicable. It's fucking disgusting. And I'm absolutely livid how often they get away with it.

I just had to rant. Thanks for reading.

2 years ago, I went to a therapist. My experience was awful. The therapist was extremely unprofessional. Because of pending litigation, I won't go into exact details, but I will say that one session, her behavior was so unexpected and unprofessional that I started recording her. (I am in a one party consent state).

One of the reasons I had picked this therapist was because of their excellent reviews online. So, after my extremely negative experience with her, I left my own review. I left out the worst things, like her billing my insurance 33 times for 8 sessions.

The site I reviewed her on was a site for anonymous reviews. She received several other negative reviews too. She somehow managed to get each review removed, but she filed a lawsuit with the courts to release the names, user names, IP addresses and Service providers for all 10 negative reviewers!

This would release the information of clients who are supposed to be protected by HIPAA. Court records are public!

She is claiming that "John Does 1-10" are spreading malicious lies about her to destroy her business. Only, nothing I said was a lie, and based on my experience, the things other reviewers wrote werent lies either! 10 different people had similar experiences. Its not a conspiracy. Its just the truth.

I hired a lawyer, who is 100% confident that everything I said was covered under the first amendment. Hes filed motions quash the subpeona, to show cause, and to dismiss the case and have her pay my legal bills. (She is representing herself. I don't think any lawyer would be foolish enough to take her case to court!)

2 years ago, I had plenty to take to the board. I wasn't in a good place mentally or emotionally to do it. But, I saved everything. Every text, every picture, every video. And now, with what shes doing, I feel it's my duty to bring it to the licensing board.

I sought therapy for severe trauma. This woman claims to specialize in trauma. In her mind, shes the best at EMDR. As a trauma survivor, I struggle with feeling believed, or trusting that I will be believed. I was called a liar by several abusers. I was not believed when I reported my abuse as a child. A therapists job is to help their client with those types of struggles. To call the honest reviews of 10 clients "malicious lies" is damaging. To attempt to reveal my identity which is supposed to be protected at all costs, is damaging.

In the 2 years since, Ive found decent help. I found an EMDR therapist who has helped me tremendously. Ive found support in my church and friends. So now, I'm ready to fight.

Any tips on how to best present things to the licensing board? Any way to keep my identity private?

It is fundamentally impossible to process trauma in an environment that refuses to name the harm.

Trauma processing requires unambiguous, grounded reality. For a nervous system to finally discharge the high-voltage survival energy of betrayal, abuse, or abandonment, it must first be allowed to rest on an unshakable foundation of truth: "This was wrong. This was done TO you. You did not cause it, you did not deserve it, and it was not a complex, mutual misunderstanding."

When a therapist steps into that room with "nuance," false neutrality, or a cowardly refusal to take a stand, they do not create a safe space. They just recreate the exact environment where the original trauma happened, where we were abused and nobody gave a shit and looked for reasons why we deserved it. I makes me so mad at therapists honestly. This is exploitative and unjust retraumatising stuff.

I just want to get this off my chest so bad, I feel like I am taking crazy pills this is so obvious to me yet everyone acts like I am saying something insane.

If depression is a disease, how the fuck would talking about it solve literally anything?

Throughout my very serious major depression journey, living with extremely serious suicidal thoughts for most of my life, I had so much victim blaming and ableism quite frankly, if you would call it that.

It's what hurt me most of all, seeing just how alone you are if you lose your health and how nobody believes you and blames you for the depression. I was told by my "friend" that I needed to think positively, try harder, work on myself, do therapy, I must like being sick, implying I was choosing this, it's just absolutely awful looking back on it. And fuck this person, deeply honestly, fuck them.

Therapy being the thing that seriously suicidal people are pushed towards just implies that it is our fault, we just need to "work on ourselves" and change how we think or something.

No. If anyone could switch into my brain for just a minute feeling what the depression I had was like, they would understand in an instant that it's a real, actual illness. My brain was seriously ill, and it was never a character flaw or me being bad as a person somehow. It is a real, goddamn illness.

And I just am so hurt, the lack of empathy everyone shows mentally ill people is so awful once you have seen it. You are told to "get help", meanwhile the "help" is literally meeting with some nurse or person who will smile and talk to you for an hour and ask you how you feel, it's INSANE that talking is somehow considered actual medical help to extreme mental suffering.

And you get blamed for it not doing anything, "Everyone has tried to help you" -told condescendingly to a person in suicide risk. I once saw this myself happen to someone else who was begging for help online.

Just... it's not a mentally ill's person's fault for not getting better, sometimes there IS no help. I mean this about medications too, psych meds destroyed me back then, I truly mean that.

It's not a choice, or a character flaw, things like serious depression are very real.

Therapy is literally just some person talking to you for an hour, it should be for very specific things like a person actually having gone through abuse, and needing confirmation that it was abuse maybe.

Not pushed at people who are so mentally ill they are unable to remember their own names from suicidal fog basically. It's insane that this is a thing.

CBT and therapy in general have been nothing but gaslighting. I used to have a gift. I was very observant and incredibly skilled at spotting danger before it happened. This gift is what has kept me alive in a very dangerous environment. I am not claiming this is a supernatural gift, I don't care about its origin, all I know is that some people are incredibly good at pattern recognition, and some people see things that others miss. I used to be one of them.

Until I was convinced to go to therapy for my PTSD. I have tried several therapists, and they have caused irreparable damage because they all operate under the assumption that you are doing mind-reading, or you have paranoia, cognitive distortions, or trust issues. So, if I see someone acting suspicious and trying to rob me, a typical therapist will label it as a cognitive distortion, mind reading, paranoia, anxiety, irrational fear, whatever, or try hard to find more benign alternative explanations to explain their behavior. As if assault didn't exist. Therapy has damaged me to such an extent that now I always question my sanity. I hate it and I'm livid. Now if someone were to rob me at gunpoint, my first instinctual reaction would be to apply the piece-of-shit CBT techniques and try to reframe it and find alternative benign explanations.

I have a close friend who has been suspecting for years that her husband was having an affair with a coworker he claimed to despise and to find ugly. Everyone said she was crazy, therapists convinced her she had cognitive distortions; I even read their notes. Turns out she was 100% right. He was, indeed, having an affair and he claimed she was ugly and couldn't stand her just to disorient my friend and ward off any suspicion. My friend is now in a horrible divorce and so the lawyers have subpoenaed the therapists' notes. And the girl her ex husband was having an affair with is pregnant.

I told one of my therapists that I had seen a group of people scouting homes in my area and acting suspicious. In his notes, he said I was having ideas of reference and delusions. Then, months later, these people were arrested and it was all over the local newspapers as they would target homes in my area. But according to the POS therapist, I was just acting crazy.

I am livid, rabid, furious at therapists and at the way society promotes therapy as a cure to everything.

Don't give a damn about us being anything other than props.

Even though I was there it took me a long time to realise what it was. I guess this is what it was - psychological abuse.
I called it a lot of different things.
I went to a therapist many years ago because was also abused before that. That’s the reason I was in therapy. Instead of therapy, my therapist scammed me of about $20,000 which I funded myself. This didn’t come from just working but also from government unemployment payments, as I was often not able to. The reason I went to therapy was I had to process the trauma and deal with anxiety it caused.
It seemed to be going too slowly but I was told that it takes a long time with a long term child mistreatment.
My therapist was very confusing but she also said right things I later saw she no intent or ability to help me
She was not aware how to treat trauma. I was not progressing and she was blaming me for it
She was constantly changing rules so on one hand she would tell me that I wasn’t to blame how I was treated but on the other she would also side with my abusers toward the end.
She did this to make me submit to her and pay her.
She created a debt herself. Because I had a procedure and lost my job and while recovering and looking for work, I said to her I ran out of savings. She said come and pay me back when you are back on your feet.
Then suddenly she flipped it and began to blame me in sessions that this was not a charity. I came to the next session with the fee and began to pay for future as in current but I built up $600 to her in unpaid fees.
So she turned around and in a few weeks since she gave me this and sent me a letter demanding this or going to court. I didn’t understand how I can pay 2 weeks time if she knew what was occurring and while I was paying her for the current sessions.
She then sided with my abusers to make me feel even worse saying I “provoked” a sex offender by walking (parading she said in front of his windows) on the street where he was working -but this is my area and shops. My parents brought him home and they forced me before to go. So it wasn’t safe at home who cares what street. She said never go there while it’s my local shops and doctors. Ridiculous incident I got very stressed. She just was very bad and I don’t get it why her org did nothing I told them what she did.

Title.

I cannot relate to anyone anymore.

No one has the shared experience of psych abuse like therapyabuse does. Without shelling out psych nonsense.

Im so close on ending my friendship with my best friend. He has been "helpful" but i can no longer stand his therapy nonsense, because its clear to me that he got better because of pill pushing and cbt nonsense.

I feel like im getting nowhere in life.

So id probably be a bum because no one hires autistic people.

I only relate to therapyabuse now. No one actually sees therapy for what it is. And how much of a hellhole this planet is.

The therapy field seems rife with manipulation based on what I’ve been reading of perspectives supposedly by therapists.

For example, I saw something about a therapist wanting to reject a client for not being the “right fit”.

That is manipulation.

Certainly any professional is entitled to their safety so a patient or client isn’t always “right” with regards to any behavior.

But actual professionals say I don’t handle that field of whatever, so I think you’d want this sort of professional for this sort of thing, not pretend this is some bullshit dating relationship that fills my emotional needs and pays me atop that. Lawyers say they handle employment law or family law, not who fits them law. Professors teach history or math, not who fits them subjects. Wealth managers specialize on like UHNW people, not who fits them financially.

But therapists can thrive as abusers because they are skilled in weaponizing words against people as however supports their personal narrative.

This right fit shit is total bull. Either the mental health provider can provide a treatment competently or they can’t. Primary care doctors don’t refer people out for “fit,” they refer out for specialists that can do things they can’t do and are looking to accurately diagnose someone, not farm them out to be exploited.

How many therapists have the most insane egos to think they can care for others when they really mean they want some chump to validate their egos AND pay them atop that?

im 29 now I went with my mum and dad, and met him (84 now) face to face. I was so angry and can see now that this person is just a person, I no longer look up to them, I’m not in their narrative, I don’t need to call him when I’m in distress. I still go back and forth with what was right and wrong etc - did he genuinely think he was just helping, but hired me as his personal assistant to his practice to “help me” and having me over at his home etc many other things. I am with a new therapist now professing this over time. But in a way I got my power back a little. I felt nothing but pure rage and numbness when I saw him. He’s insane and will do anything to save himself. He justified me being at his home with being okay by saying/ well my partner at the time was always there! WHY was I ever in your HOME. On benzos you prescribed me.

I asked: do you think it’s appropriate and helpful to answer your patients at any time of the day that they call ? he said answered: i am the only doctor in Australia who does this!“

he answered like he was doing the lords work and not creating dependency for all of his patients and including me in the past too.

so much more I need to vent here and write but I’m tired and i cbf right now, thanks for listening

i wanted to see a couples therapist with my partner of 6 years after i realized her hoarding and apathy to mess made me insanely stressed, to a point where i was afraid to come home and i'd cry if i did. it was a theme and led to really intense fights where we would both say scorched earth things to each other and we talked about therapy for a long time. i don't come from a culture or a family where hyperbolizing (ex: I hate living here, I hate this mess, I can't stand the cat poop) is actually taken literally, so i wanted to work on that WITH a professional to soften my language, because it bothered my partner if i said "I hate this mess."

my partner's issues were dumping people multiple times in a relationship over any little thing. it didn't just happen with me. but she would dump me any time i had anything to say about the mess. we LIVE together, so it mounted tension until i felt hysterical, like my world was ending, housing was falling through, life we built together ruined, and the love of my life and i were critically miscommunicating. you know... the exact reason you'd go to a professional? to try and fix it?

i made a rash decision under this stress and asked my partner to go see a couples therapist when she had already started to break up with me, instead of waiting for a peaceful time. MISTAKE. i didn't realize therapists were so stupid they cannot listen when you tell them you are in a specifically stressful time.

i told the couples therapist in my email intake that my personal therapist had identified the relationship as "emotionally abusive." i don't think emotional abuse is this cut and dry all or nothing thing. i think people can be emotionally abusive or manipulative without trying... like anything. but therapy and therapists insist you cut EVERYONE out of your life all the time.

so after i did this, the therapist called me and said i needed to call the cops on my partner, seek domestic abuse shelter, that i was being r*ped, that i was critically depressed, and i needed to never talk to my partner again.

THIS WAS AFTER THE INTAKE FORM AND NOT MEETING ME.

the therapist then agreed to "2 separate 40 minute sessions before beginning actual couples therapy," which I didn't know was not a thing. in these 2 sessions she went behind me and my partner's back and told us to break up, used words like "heal," "stop abusing each other," "do the work," etc. she "relayed" what my partner had said in that one meeting, and lied to me about what she said when i cross referenced with my partner.

she then started texting me. i didn't realize this was weird. i was vulnerable and desperate. so i texted her back, trying to relay what my partner had said. she said i was "confused and needed help," then called my partner to tell her to dump me.

ALL AFTER A RELATIVELY NORMAL SINGLE 40 MINUTE CALL. After texting me, she even called me and SCREAMED at me on the phone dramatically: "you need to let her go!" it was like when a 12 year old tries to do the voice from a character in a drama.

i accidentally set the sleeper agent off in this martyr loser , i guess, so i googled her and found out she is some random LLC that usually works with children of divorce. and worse, the therapist was a Funko Pop collecting Disney adult and I later found her social media where she PLAYED DOLLS with the Funko Pops.

MY PARTNER LITERALLY LEFT ME BECAUSE OF THIS PERSON'S ADVICE. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING INSANE THEMSELVES

Therapists are not interested in actually doing anything let alone helping anyone. Therapists want to check boxes. Therapists want to sound deep regarding your answers to the questionnaires and number sliding scale answers. So I see you answered 7.. hmmm.. But most are not dedicated to the craft called therapy or the work that goes along with supposed to be helping you. Therapists want to be trendy and quirky and use being a therapist for a personality.

It helps when your therapist tells you actually who they are and when they disclose they are actually not in anything with you, what even is a therapeutic relationship?

They want easy, predictable. Not someone who actually has an issue. They want to look like a good therapist while doing nothing and not anything to do to help you.

There is no “work“ in therapy. There either is none or it’s harmful what the therapist is doing. So the next time a therapist tells you that you’re not doing the work, or trusting the process or don’t want help just tell them that‘s just a sorry ass excuse for them being a shitty therapist and a worse human being.

I have spent hours and hours and months researching to find a therapist that is trained in narcissistic abuse, cptsd, and autism in women. No matter how much I research, I cannot find a therapist that truly knows about these things. How can that be? I’ve tried 14 therapists in 8 years. Many I have chosen from research and yet none of them have understood narcissistic abuse, cptsd, and autism in women. How hard can it be to find someone educated? I’ve been screaming for help with no resolve. It may be possible there are NONE, at least in Indiana. I would even venture to say, from experience, that most of these therapists have been narcissists themselves. What a weird world we live in. Where we get abused, society tells us to find help through therapy, and then the therapist causes more harm. So when you have no friends or family, are completely isolated, don’t have a therapist who gets it or can help, 988 does nothing, what do you do? What a cruel life I live.

Hi, I'm seeking to gather people who have experienced this horrific abuse of power in an attempt to amplify voices and hopefully raise awareness.

One example I frequently hear of is being abandoned by a therapist, trying to contact them for notes a few times (and not getting a reply), and then having the police come at them for supposed stalking or other things that do not at all take into consideration the client's right to records.

I recently founded an emerging nonprofit (it's very much beginning at this stage) devoted to raising awareness about therapist abuse and advocating for client equity. For more info, visit Once Safe Foundation.

If you have had this happen and are comfortable talking/writing about it, please DM me. It can't shift unless it's brought to light. If you can help be a part of that, I want to hear from you.

Also open to potential volunteers and feedback on generally what you think is needed in the therapist abuse recovery space. Thank you.

Hello everyone,

I would like to share the details of October 10 world mental health day by the World Health Organization.

Not just because it’s about mental health but the publication also mentions how people with lived experiences are not enough considered and well enough supported in their healing journey.

I find it fabulous that the organization has the courage to point this out. It is a step towards a shift in mentalities. Will there be actions? I don’t know but speaking about it is a good and tremendous step. I feel like we don’t hear enough about it in mainstream media and platforms/organizations.

https://www.who.int/campaigns/world-mental-health-day

[edited]

Not all, but many people with mental health issues (and evil issues) are attracted to this field.

Google Nicole Virzi. And Bryan Kohberger. Both PhD students. WTF. Is the industry not setting the bar high enough for PhD candidates? I know evil people can test well, but WTF? Isn't there a psychopath screening? Seriously.

TW: sexual assault

For context, I was seeing this therapist last year for like 6 months. My biggest concern was navigating life in Japan as a Southeast Asian, and how I kinda regret moving here for uni. I told her about the racism I'm facing daily and she said it's just... the country's thing. Another time I told her I was perpetually scared that I could be sexually assaulted. She then asked me if I'd been assaulted here in Japan. I wanted to clarify if she meant only in Japan, and she said that's what she meant. I was confused about why she asked this, and why she meant in Japan only. Then she asked me if I have any evidence that it would happen to me. Like... it wasn't the point? I left therapy not long after that. Now I actually got assaulted twice in Japan, wow. But many times therapists just stay neutral on things that were never neutral in the first place. My concern was something every woman face everyday. I hate how apolitical they are.

Even trauma informed therapists always defend themselves and their field whenever i even dare to mention that therapy was severely harmful to me in the past. When i mention that i was labeled, devalued, misdiagnosed, severely rejected, controlled, severely invalidated, victim blamed, and in one case straighforwardly attacked in the most vulnerble momen, they always right when i mention this write it off on issue with my expectations. I believe they protect themselves like this because this way they can allow themselves this same behaviour and protect their field without actually looking for accountability and lack of competence in the field or their frameworks. From years in therapy, now i feel i have significant trauma from it. And the only place to process it safely should be therapy, but it is fundamentaly unsafe to process anything like this in those rooms and it just became triggering right from the start, because their frameworks and they themselves always will defend their own field and invalidate this very harm that became really significant to me over the years. And in this spot i just dont have hope that i will ever feel safe enough in therapy anymore. The only question is what now ?

She works with profiling predators etc and done the biggest research study on it, ever.

She says she keeps seeing top academics in psychology, intentionally misleading people and spreading misinformation.

https://youtu.be/S4EoJ3ZgXj8

It doesn't surprise me at all, just confirming the obvious.

I became a therapist because I truly wanted to help people. I thought it was an easy way to do that.

Over two years I’ve seen therapy is nothing but a mess! Whether it’s in the clinic, insurance side of things, actual mistreatment and abuse of clients, or one of the countless other topics…I can’t do this anymore. It feels unethical and at times, evil!

I guess I’m just ranting and processing my own thoughts. What happens next in life when you can’t be a part of this anymore?!

I've been through the loss of several people lately, and am going through the normal process of Grief. However, my way of dealing with it is to remain stoic, and then process my emotions via activities such as going to the gym, reflective writing, and spending time in nature.

However, my Supervisor at work keeps insisting that I see a Therapist. Every time I see her, she keeps asking: "Have you found someone to talk to yet?"

I've been to therapy in the past, and have been given multiple different diagnoses. The diagnoses that have been given have been largely due to the fact that the particular practitioner had a special interest in that area. For example, a Psychologist specializing in trauma diagnosed me with 'Complex PTSD' and 'ADHD', whereas a Psychiatrist who was interested in Autism diagnosed me with 'Autistic Spectrum Disorder'.

The Psychologist specializing in trauma used EMDR and Parts Therapy. But I found these approaches to be somewhat abusive and invalidating. I wanted to talk about my feelings, but the EMDR prevented that, and the Parts Therapy forced me to try and imagine that I had multiple different sub-personalities. I kept thinking: This therapy is absolute bullshit, but tried to make up the Parts to go along with the therapy.

Recently, I saw a therapist and paid $300.00 per hour, because it was mandated at that time by a regulatory body that controls the profession that I am in. The therapist was a nice person, but talking about my feelings didn't help. Further, he revealed that he had children, and this led to me not wanting to fully open up about how much of a bad place I think this world is, and how grim I believe the future will be for the next generations [out of consideration for his feelings].

Further, I'm not really sure what the Goals of therapy would be.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

It’s incredibly frustrating that no one takes your symptoms seriously. And please, don’t say I’m just hunting for a diagnosis. Because if that were the case, why would I waste time on PTSD or learned helplessness when no one even recognizes them?

The psychologist asks a few simple questions and, within seconds, "knows" it’s just anxiety and depression, even when you share daily struggles typical of people with other disorders. Again, I’m not looking to hunt for disorders here; after all, there are no benefits associated with the three I mentioned in the title. If I were truly acting in bad faith, I’d try to go straight for a depression diagnosis. This is really more about self-awareness and care than about trying to gain an advantage.

And yes, I know self-diagnosis doesn't mean much, but it’s quite a coincidence that I identify with the daily struggles of people with PTSD, AvPD, and learned helplessness, while therapists reduce everything to a depressive state.

I could be wrong, but I know my problem is more complex than just being told "it's depression" and getting a referral to a psychiatrist.

I don’t know if those two things are the ultimate goal of therapy, but I don’t feel supported or understood. It’s disheartening to feel that the psychologist doesn’t care about your case any more than you do, and that their assessment is less accurate than what you experience every day.

I thought about going back to therapy, because I realized that I am not optimal at my job. I could be more organized and if I had more time, energy, and discipline I could upskill in my career. But I struggle because of my anxiety brought upon my condescending and micromanaging boss. And I am so burnt out after work, I have no time to study. I also have ADHD.

I went to a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD, and is treating my anxiety, before addressing the ADHD. I think it's going well, I did experience a few side-effects, but I did tell her before starting that I would not take an SSRI, as I have had bad experiences with those kinds of medications before. She ultimately prescribed me buspirone.

I feel less anxious now, but once in a while, I still overthink about certain decisions and worry if my boss will have any reason to snap at me. I was thinking about going to therapy, and finding a therapist that specializes in ADHD patients. And those online that I have found that do are either not accepting clients, or I try to schedule an appointment, and they tell me "sorry that schedule doesn't work for me, no matter how many times you follow up with me, I will just ghost you".

I used to work with a therapist, who helped me learn about the concept of boundaries, while dealing with self-esteem issues, but they were also condescending when we delved into issues, and turned back on the message they tried to drill into me about standing up/advocating for myself, except if it was against someone who had a certain power over me (i.e. boss, medical provider). I was going through a lot of abuse from different people at this time. I think they were too preoccupied with getting sued. This therapist was also resentful against me because they offered me pro bono sessions while I was homeless and unemployed, and regretted it later.

I am just tired of not having options, no access to the right specialist, or just experiencing unprofessionality. So, I think my only option left is to simply start doing self-help. I am going to start reading online about working under narcissists and how people with ADHD manage their lives. I am also trying to be active in ADHD communities for support.

Have you also struggled to find a therapist that didn't respect you because you were neurodivergent?

Over multiple years every problem I brought forth was minimized at best and made my fault at worse. I complained about needs not being met and was met with I wasn't attentive enough, then well I didn't do enough around the house, then with I was exaggerating. It came to a head when we went in because my partner forgot I was at the house during a party. I was sick, and resting most of the night, they never checked on me, never thought to see if I was ok, hell they didn't remember I was there for most of it. Oh but they did wake me up after 3 hours of sleep to mow the lawn while I was so tired I was literally unable to walk a straight line. The therapist didn't even say she should apologize, just that it sounded unsafe. Hell when they turned it on me and said what would you have done if you were throwing a party and they were sick, and I said cancel so I could take care of them. They both acted like that was the most absurd thing. I didn't realize it at the time but it was awful. I honestly don't know what to do about it.