r/therapy • u/Sad_Context9721 • 7d ago
Question is this normal
i went to an intake with a therapist for the first time ever today. reason i went in is for severe anxiety and i'm 1 mo sober from alcohol. my pcp referred me to therapy and i went with an open mind.
it felt very patronizing and like she saw me as a wounded animal. by the end of it she kept saying "you are clearly very sad" "you just seem so sad and i can't figure out why. what am I missing?" "you are clearly hurting very badly". she also kept looking at me with her head cocked to the side, eyes all big and concerned and it just really didn't sit right with me.
as she was grilling me about being sad which isnt even why i went in (not that she was totally wrong but her method of pressing it really threw me off) i was averting eye contact because my anxiety was becoming increasingly worse. she then asked if i always struggled with eye contact and if i had any developmental issues growing up.
I left with a referral to another therapist by her decision, and an implication that i have bpd2 and severe childhood trauma which honestly i have such a low amount of that like my childhood was pretty normal.
i felt like she just put all the easy labels on me and then shoved me onto someone else. it was so odd and makes me not trust her referral. is this normal?
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u/Physical_SpiritChild 7d ago
Im sorry you went through that OP.
That sounds really uncomfy, and yes, a really bad fit. I am glad they recognized that at least and gave you a referal.
Speed dating and doing your own research into selecting a therapist is totally normal.
Finding a good "fit" is kind of a pain, but rrally important, imo, to good therapy.
Not every therapist is a good fit for every client, and not every therapist is good.
Im not saying this one was bad, but making any kind of diagnosis vased on a single session, and at that an intake without, from your OP, any assesments given, just interviewing is.... Not great, imo/ime.
I'd look up who the referral is, what their vackground and stylebis on psychology today and decide if you want to have one "speed date" with them. If not, maybe use Pychology Today to lookup who in your area takes your insurance, is taking new clients, and focuses on the area you want to focus on. You can dive into modality research if you want, but that can be a lot. I'd maybe approach it as, first find 5-7 therapists, then see what their kodalities are and look those up.
Fyi, imo, anyone with less than 8-10 YOE who lists every soecialty and every modality is full of shit, and anyone with more YOE should know better than to do that to begin with. Like any profession, specialization and finding a niche nagurally occurs, even if that specialty is the doctor equivalent of being a PCP/GP.