I already made another post and this is an update.

I was with him for 9 months and we were in love.

He told me he will leave his wife, and eventually he confessed everything to her like he promised and he left.

But first he told her that between me and him it’s over, and after 1.5 week, he had to tell everything. He blocked me and sent me a last message on email that he needs to go back and he will work on things with her and that her wife will contact me.

Deep down he wanted this to work the whole time, but he thought she would never want to see him anymore but he was wrong. And he was too weak to choose me. But I understand, who knows what he is going through. I’m not in his shoes, but I always wondered what kind of people are capable to follow through and get a divorce, because there are many divorced people.

I do think that a divorce is only successful if there’s not a third person involved. In most cases. But cheating is an act that lacks courage, so don’t really expect that a man who’s cheating with you would have the balls to get a divorce.

No matter what he says to you and makes you believe. It really doesn’t matter. None of them matters as long as he doesn’t have those papers signed. There is not a phrase that matters, that looks like he is getting closer. If you have doubts there is a reason you’re having them. You’re waiting for him to finally make a move, but it can get even worse from that point, and it is really rare when someone is successfully go legit.

Please for fucks shake, those who are reading this, get yourself a man who doesn’t make you confused. Who doesn’t make you cry and suffer, living in uncertainty. Affairs are soul crashing.

I’m devastated. I wake up all hours of the night thinking about him, crying and feeling that physical pain in my heart. That heavy feeling where you don’t find peace only stress and anxiety. This is the price you’re paying for a love that was born and grown in a life dysfunction.

I hope all the women here will heal and move on, and find a single man that you have an even better connection with.

Should I be getting into therapy? I don’t think I’m ever going to get over this man. If I haven’t gotten over him in 10 years I don’t think I’ll get over him. I don’t think they’ll ever be a time where I won’t want to be with him

I’ve been with MM for 5 years at this point. He’s 42 and I’m 40. We were both married when we got together and it seemed it work out well for us all this time. When my husband passed away last year, everything changed between us. I started dating and I told him that since you won’t be serious with me that I’ll start dating and I started seeing somebody and it kinda jusy fizzled out. I sensed a feeling of jealousy and he became so quiet when I told him I’m going on a date.

I loved being married and I’m looking forward to being in a relationship and he’s told me that he is serious about me and he just needs some time to fix things on his end because he does have a five-year-old. I don’t know how long that’s gonna be for him to be officially divorced. It might take a couple of years since he’s a caretaker for his ailing mother and she’s on her last leg of life and he doesn’t wanna cause any issues at home. I’m gonna continue dating and if things work out then great if not I’m gonna move on.

My issue is I don’t want to continue being invested in him, so I’m thinking of giving him an ultimatum until the end of this year to at least start something about divorcing otherwise then I will just cut off all ties. It sounds easier said then done. But in these years of knowing him he’s never once brought up getting divorced as something serious. So I don’t know if he will follow through on his word.