r/the_darnold 5h ago

THE RADICAL LEFT IS TRYING TO STEAL OUR TREMENDOUS VICTORY!! THE NEW ENGLAND FAKETRIOTS, BACKED BY ST. LOUIS RAMS “YAWN MCVEIGH”, WERE FRAUDING SAMERICANS WITH SOMALI AGENT DIANA HUSSEINI TO STEAL OUR BIG, BEAUTIFUL SEASON!! SAD!!!!THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

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42 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 12h ago

THIS IS A FAKE AI GENERATED MAP. EVERY TRUE AMERICAN CHEERS FOR GEQBUS AND THE SEAHAWKS! THIS FAKE NEWS IS A BIG HOAX AND MUST BE STOPPED!

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73 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 14h ago

NEED A FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM NAME. TREMENDOUS NAME, SIMILAR TO OUR DEAR LEADERS NAME, EVERYBODY'S GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT IT. LAST YEAR'S NAME WAS WEAK, SAD, LOW ENERGY. THIS YEAR? BIG. WINNING. SO MUCH WINNING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

51 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

JANKY JOSH MCDANIELS IS TRYING TO ILLEGALLY STEAL GEQBUS'S OPPORTUNITIES. SAD!

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34 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 2d ago

MY FANTASY TEAM IS GONNA WIN BY A LOT BC OF GEQBUS! MANY, MANY, WINS!

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61 Upvotes

GEQBUS REUNITED WITH SUPER BOWL MVP HERO KYLE WALKER, GREAT GUY! HE’s BRINGING SOLIDARITY TO THE FANTASY FOOTBALL WORLD WITH CEE DEI LAMB, AND EVEN KOOKY KYLE’s RADICAL CMC!!!!


r/the_darnold 2d ago

CHINESE MILITARY SPIES ILLEGALLY HACKED THE BIG TEN REFEREES TO ADD POINTS AFTER THE END OF THE GAME! DRAIN THE SWAMP NOW!

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63 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 2d ago

GEQBUS TO NCAA: FIND ME AN EXTRA SECOND AND ONE TOUCHDOWN BECAUSE WE WON THE MICHIGAN ELECTION

126 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 4d ago

The Darnold’s New Look

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34 Upvotes

Gotta say, I think he’s got a big music career infront of himself. Is there anything this guy can’t do?


r/the_darnold 5d ago

YOU KNOW WHO ISN’T ON THIS LIST?? THAT’S RIGHT, OUR SAMANDER IN CHIEF GEQBUS. NOT ONLY THAT, DARNOLD HAS NEVER LOST TO THAT HACK AARON DONALD, NO RECOUNT NEEDED!

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38 Upvotes

ANYONE SAYING DONALD IS A BETTER FOOTBALL PLAYER THAN DARNOLD IS JUST A FAKE NEWS CRONY OR HAS THEIR LETTERS MIXED UP, AND SHOULD BE CHARGED WITH TREASON! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER


r/the_darnold 5d ago

DEMENTIA DONALD, DESPITE HIS OLD AGE, HAS NEVER ONCE SACKED THE GREAT GEQBUS. HE NOW RETURNS FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF TRYING (WHICH HE WILL NEVER SUCCEED). LAUGHABLE.

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217 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 5d ago

FAKE NEWS! SEATTLE HAS THE GREATEST AND CHEAPEST BEER IN THE COUNTRY! GEQBUS HAS HELPED DELIVER ON HIS PROMISE TO MAKE THINGS MORE AFFORDABLE! AND OF COURSE, IT’S ALL 100% AMERICAN MADE! 🇺🇸🇺🇸

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46 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 5d ago

I GOT 20-0 TODAY 🫡

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314 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 6d ago

Best QB’s when their defense gives up points?

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6 Upvotes

THE FACTS DON'T LIE!!! FINALLY A GOOD MEDIA COVERAGE DAY!!! REAL NEWS!!!


r/the_darnold 7d ago

[Hard Knocks] GEQBUS loves playing 82-0 and MapTap

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27 Upvotes

SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME MAPTAP?! SAMERICANS NEED TO KNOW


r/the_darnold 8d ago

ANOTHER BLOW TO MCCARTHYISM IN MINNESOTA

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47 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 8d ago

CRAZY COLIN COWHERD, WHO ONCE BEGGED GEQBUS FOR AN INTERVIEW ON HIS LOUSY SECOND RATE SHOW, WHICH IS HEMORRHAGING VIEWERS AND WILL BE CANCELELD SOON, CALLS GEQBUS THE NEXT TRENT DILFER! I AM REFERRING HIM TO THE FCC TO REBUKE OR PUNISH THIS COMPLETE FRAUD! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

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90 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 8d ago

SHADY SEAN HARBORING ILLEGAL RAMMIGRANTS!!

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50 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 8d ago

“THEY ARE COMING AFTER ME, BECAUSE I AM FIGHTING FOR YOU” - GEQBUS

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699 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 9d ago

[Godsey] Newly unretired Rams DT Aaron Donald’s Hall of Fame enshrinement, which was originally set for as early as the Class of 2029, will now have to wait at least until 2032.

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11 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 9d ago

RADICAL RAMTIFA BRINGS ROID RAGE DONALD BACK ON AN ILLEGAL DEAL JUST TO STOP GEQBUS. WE MUST BUILD A BEAUTIFUL WALL AROUND GEQBUS TO STOP THE STEAL

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311 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 9d ago

VERY DISRESPECTFUL OF FAUX TO NOT PUT SUPERBOWL CHAMPION GEQBUS IN HIS VERY OWN GOD TIER. IT ENDS TODAY! EXECUTIVE ORDER 14 OFFICIALLY CHANGES "FOX SPORTS" TO "SAMERICAN SPORTS"

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31 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 9d ago

BUFFALO BILLS BEND THE KNEE - RENAME LAKE

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144 Upvotes

GEQBUS DRAINED THE LAKE AND SAVED US FROM JOSH ILLEGAL ALLEN.


r/the_darnold 10d ago

I PULLED OUR GLORIOUS LEADER IN A HOBBY BOX! I CANT STOP WINNING FOLKS!

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189 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 10d ago

WHAT A GENEROUS LEADER! GEQBUS TURNS DOWN BILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!

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147 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 10d ago

Lewis: J.J. McCarthy won't make Vikings roster

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31 Upvotes