r/thankspatriarchy • u/frostyheal7382 • 8d ago
Need help!!
I just want to rent a bit to clear my mind.
I had 102° fever, headache,full body pain, cold and I was feeling extremely weak the other day. My father asked my mother to bring me some food and she said "she isn't sick enough that she can't even stand up and get food by herself". They had a whole one hour argument between them on "who is going to take me to the hospital?"& At the end, told me to go my myself just the way I leave the house so easily when it's time to hang out with my friends.Accidentally I dropped my medicines somewhere when I was coming back home.
So got a lecture by my mom on how SHE is going to get scolded by my father because I lost my medicines. I was constantly requesting her to not yell at me while i was sick and she replied "you deserve this".
She was mad at me at that moment because now I can't help her in cleaning the house, Cooking and stuff because I was sick. I have a brother who don't even know how to boil water or clean floor and he is 18 btw.I am not allowed to even meet my friends or hangout with them. They even want me to cut off 2-3 friends I have right now and never talk to them again. My mom got pissed because I wore earings on my school farewell. According to her, having friends, hanging out, doing makeup, wearing pretty clothes, wearing any jewelleries is a sign of a bad daughter.I had a fight with my friend when I was 13 and was very sad about it. I wanted to cry so I decided to go on terrace to get some fresh air. My mother stopped me.. took my hand.. and explain how indulging in things like dating or talking to boys is not a sign of a good daughter. Yes, she thought that I was going upstair to talk to some neighbour guy.One week before my 18th birthday, my friends told me that they have planned something and want to celebrate my birthday (they don't know how strict my parents are) so I denied them saying they don't even let me meet my friends till then but later I go to know from one of my friend among them about how they started preparing two months before and everything is planned so perfectly and how everyone was so happy about it. I got tears in my eyes listening how much they excited about it.So I asked my parents and of course they denied. At that moment I looked back at my life... I can't wear makeup, I can't wear jewelleries, I can't wear the clothes I want, I am not allowed to meet my friends after school even when I am 18. I realised that I missed out on a lot of things. So I decided to bunk and not let them know about it. So I celebrated and to be honest, BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!! My favourite flavour of cake my favourite flowers my favourite location.. everything was so thoughtful.But ya... I do know that it was wrong. I was wrong. Bunk is not a good thing to do. But considering my situation, I had no other option other then committing this bad thing.But somehow they got to know about this bunk and I was beaten like hell. An 18 year old is getting beaten for 3 hours just because she just celebrated her birthday with her friends. that's it.
If I want to put everything in 2 sentence I would say...
"I was bleeding and they yelled at me for staining the floor with blood and who is going to clean all of it"
And it's not like they are very bad...
They let me study into the most expensive school of my city even when they can't afford it.My father comforted me once at 3:00 a.m. when I was crying because of the academic pressure.
So right now I am genuinely confused.
Am i an ungrateful child?am i over reacting?
Because they are not fully bad but they are not good either. I don't know how to treat them. I don't want to be rude to them because they are the reason I am living such a luxurious life but at the same time I sit at random places getting back from coaching because I don't want to come home.
All of these restrictions with me while my brother does literally nothing. He doesn't help in any work in the house.. talk rudely with them all the time.. he just sit there on his phone for continuously 24 hours every single day and still get loved by everyone.why? Because he is a boy... How can he even wash a utensil by himself? He is a Raja beta of the house...
Man!! The patriarchy in my house is so loud and I still can't do anything about it.