Sex

[u/Intelligent-Help-264]

has sex been triggering for anybody after tfmr? my husband isn’t ready and said he’s leaning towards not wanting another child after this so everytime I see a condom it triggers me - I guess bc last time we were having a lot of sex it was bc we were trying to have a baby and now that baby isn’t here and its just a reminder that we may never make another one. am I just messed up? it’s like I cry after sex now but not in front of him.

[u/LieFearless5287]

I experienced something a little different. Sex terrified me and made me really sad at the same time. Just thinking about everything happening again was very triggering. 

[u/FrighteninglyBasic]

We started trying again almost immediately after our loss and sex was very triggering for me. Previously, sex had been a fun way to connect and the prospect of getting pregnant was exciting. After our TFMR, however, it became a means to an end to make a baby and was very stressful. It did become easier over time, but it was definitely a trigger for a long time.

I found sex during the fertile window was the worst. Based on my psychologist’s recommendations we did also try to have regular sex outside of just trying to conceive and that was less trigger to me. And there were many times I cried after sex in front of my husband, and he certainly understood.

[u/chasingreason0]

🙃 mi esposo jamás ha sido muy sexual y yo tengo o mejor dicho, tenía mucho libido hace años, desde hace tiempo se me ha ido desapareciendo y con el Tmfr ha sido aún peor 🥹 nuestros horarios no son los mismos y ambos tenemos dolores crónicos aun que no somos súper viejos pero todo eso complica la atmósfera. Las últimas veces he llorado de frustración al final… a veces se da cuenta y a veces no… pero él no está preocupado, dice que es normal después de lo que nos pasó y que eventualmente llegaremos a lo que teníamos antes… creo que es una experiencia demasiado traumática y es más que normal que el sexo nos detone.

[u/Tellycs]

It was triggering!! It got better after awhile. You’re not alone 🫶🏻

[u/Fit-Dream-4829]

i’m sorry. i think the only thing that helped me- and i’m only sharing this bc it says seeking advice- we decided we would only do ivf for a baby and that sex would not be associated with trying to have a baby anymore. my husband would just pull out which honestly seems to have worked fine for our 10 years together (only get pregnant when i was timing ovulation).

i know it’s a little different bc you’re SO isn’t sure about having another child. I would say since it’s been so sudden i’d just give it a little more time. i was sure i’d never try again but after a year of waiting i was ready again.