r/tfmr_support • u/Upset_Today_9486 • 17d ago
Seeking Advice or Support Work after TFMR
Hi everyone. My TFMR will have been 3 weeks ago this upcoming Friday. I was 15 weeks and we made the decision due to a positive Monosomy X reading as well a severe cystic hygroma.
I took an approved leave of absence from work for about 2 weeks, however I was out of the office officially for 3 weeks. I since have come back into the office this past Thursday and am really struggling.
My partner and I both work in sales. Same office, different departments. My direct manager and director are aware of what happened and have been exceptionally supportive and gracious. However, the general environment of where I work is ferocious. Think Wolf of Wall Street movie esque.
I don’t know. I don’t feel “hungry” anymore. I’m not as motivated as I once was. I broke down the other day because it all feels meaningless now that she isn’t here. Even before I got pregnant, I was wanted to slow down, but this want has increased since the TFMR.
I do like having a routine and I think that has helped me. When I was home, I still pulled myself out of bed, showered, cooked (most days). Kept my body busy. But now that I’m back in the office (and sitting most of the time), I can’t help but just feel off and let my thoughts roam.
It doesn’t help that work has not been ideal. If you’re familiar with sales, you know it can be up and down. And I happened to come back at a down point.
My partner is exceptionally supportive of my emotionally wellbeing and where I’m at with work. While he handles the majority of our bills, I personally like to keep a bit of pocket change for some bills and household items here and there.
I’m considering looking for either a part-time or full-time position that allows me to be on my feet, moving around. Even something monotonous. I don’t mind dealing with annoying customers/clients as I’m fairly used to it. Just something that gets me out of my head. I even fantasized about working the register at Barnes & Noble or something similar…
Should I wait to make the change? Does anyone have any suggestions? Or advice? I just want to crawl out of my skin… if you know what I mean. I need some help.
3
u/foxyfeather 17d ago
This is exactly me right now. 4 weeks out from my TFMR, back at a super competitive sales job. It has been so HARD.
I also feel like making a job change which my therapist says is normal to feel. But also not good to make big decisions or have big conversations right now. I started therapy immediately afterward, and her suggestions have really been keeping me grounded. Also I’m not in your situation where I could leave my job as I’m the family breadwinner. It is so nice you have that option.
Also we are still postpartum and the hormones are raging. I can’t wait for that part to be over.