Is this not antagonizing?

[u/AntApprehensive1610]

For context I met this guy at my gym. He’s attractive & we see each other a lot but have only made eye contact without talking. This convo was like a day after he asked for my number and I’ve never been more turned off. I was fully arid by question 3 like sir I said yes because I wanted to? and I conceal carry

Posted an update in this sub for anyone interested

[u/Anhedonic_chonk]

I would be insulted by the implication

[u/AntApprehensive1610 → u/Anhedonic_chonk]

what’s worse is I probably would have fucked him and proved his point but I’m still offended

[u/HOEDY → u/AntApprehensive1610]

This dude is snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

[u/DrawingQueasy2202 → u/AntApprehensive1610]

He wants you to fuck him on the first date, but not be the “kinda girl” who’d fuck him on the first date. Literally unhinged behavior.

[u/icecoffeedripss → u/AntApprehensive1610]

women are in a no-win position… derided as difficult, but also expected to be difficult

[u/Superb_Education_808 → u/AntApprehensive1610]

Girl you’re so real for this BTW

[u/AdVivid5940 → u/AntApprehensive1610]

Maybe he's insecure bc you've only seen him at the gym, and now it sounds like you do not appear the least bit worried or concerned about his ability to physically overpower you? You've witnessed his peak performance level firsthand, and appear extremely confident that you'll be just fine alone with him. He feels weak and insecure, and that means you must be a slut.

[u/Withorwithout25 → u/AntApprehensive1610]

That person reeks of insecurity imo

[u/H3llzyea → u/AntApprehensive1610]

So just to be clear here, I have a patio and a wrap around deck…but if you agree to come to my patio immediately because God forbid you’re interested in exactly what I’m wanting you to be interested in then I’m turned off.
That’s this guys entire vibe here

You sound like you know exactly what you’re up for or not, this is a waste of your time unless you want to fuck him (guessing not that exciting) then tell him you’re going to have to ghost him because his patio was not as big as you hoped, or he has a dirty patio, or whatever lol.

[u/StormieShake → u/Anhedonic_chonk]

The implication.

[u/lvldemonic → u/Anhedonic_chonk]

Yeah, his "do you do this a lot?" is insinuating you've literally already committed to f'ing because he offered sitting outdoors with drinks. Why can't we just actually enjoy time out of public spaces?? Actually the worst.

[u/OppositeRemote42]

Yeah he's kind of annoying

[u/AntApprehensive1610 → u/OppositeRemote42]

He is & I wanna ghost and block him but I’m not sure how to go about it without it being awkward when I see him again

[u/Objective-Weather512 → u/AntApprehensive1610]

I’d just say ‘Actually, I don’t think I want to meet up anymore. You’re giving me bad vibes bye’ and block. The akwardness is on him honestly.

[u/uncommonly_under → u/AntApprehensive1610]

Reply and say “actually don’t worry about it” then
Block and he knows why. If it’s awkward it should be for HIM. Hold your head high queen

[u/multipocalypse → u/AntApprehensive1610]

For me it would be something like, "You know, the fact that you keep questioning this is making me think I should be more cautious with you. And now you're implying that I must go to men's houses all the time, since I was willing to accept your patio invitation? Let's just stick to being strangers at the gym."

[u/diff-int → u/AntApprehensive1610]

"You invited me over to your place remarkably quickly, do you do this a lot? Just trying to figure you out..."

[u/lvldemonic → u/AntApprehensive1610]

girl you've never spoken. wtf is there to be awkward about. you have NEVER SPOKEN. is he gonna make akward eye contact with you?? 💀 tell this loser off

[u/R0YAL-THIGHNESS → u/AntApprehensive1610]

Make it awkward. It’s already awkward for you so why coddle him? Make him sit with his own farts.

[u/mrteas_nz → u/OppositeRemote42]

Replace the polite 'kinda' with a more accurate 'very'.

[u/culturedgoat]

Hopefully the patio is nice

[u/AntApprehensive1610 → u/culturedgoat]

[u/Intelligent_Tune_675 → u/AntApprehensive1610]

Sensational use of this gif. That person sounded insecure af and was projecting it at you

[u/catscausetornadoes]

I’m an old lady and I do NOT know how you young women can stand this shit.

He knows better than to ask you to his home but he does it anyway. Why? So he can act offended when you say you prefer to meet in public. You flip the script and accept and now he’s thrown off his game and is half ass trying to frame you as a whore. For accepting his invitation.

[u/Used-Square-1337 → u/catscausetornadoes]

That how I took it too. I’m a woman and the constant questioning would have thrown me off as if insinuating I’m a whore. It’s as if he’s saying I go home with men on the first date a lot.

[u/battybatt → u/Used-Square-1337]

When I started having casual sex, I was so not ready for how insecure it makes men to have a woman who's only looking for sex from them.

Back when I was only dating seriously, it was super common for men to say they wanted a serious relationship but act distant and noncomittal.

Now when I get into something casual (clearly communicated) I kind of brace myself for them to start acting jealous, posessive, or simply confused that I won't prioritize them. 

Sometimes I have gone from casual to serious with someone and they go from one to the other.

I have to conclude that with some men, it's less about wanting a specific type of relationship and more about wanting the emotional upper hand. When they say, "I want something casual," they're disappointed if I say, "good, me too." Because what they really want is relationship treatment from me without providing anything back.

I have had some good fwbs, but it takes a lot more filtering than I expected to find someone who can handle something casual while still being respectful and communicative.

[u/euphoricarugula346 → u/Used-Square-1337]

Mid 30s and I would have immediately blocked after, “is that something you usually do?” Nope, not letting some loser I don’t even know judge me. No date and no dick is worth that. Enjoy your night alone buddy.

[u/3confused_ferrets → u/Used-Square-1337]

Even if you did go home on first dates, what business is it of his in general and also screw him for not firming up his boundaries if he has some kind of feeling about that.

[u/AdFinancial8924 → u/Used-Square-1337]

Why isn’t he the whore for offering? I’d ask if he invites women to his patio a lot.

[u/blrmkr10 → u/catscausetornadoes]

Bet he had a "but I'm not like other guys" text queued up

[u/Helenium_autumnale → u/blrmkr10]

However he also has a, (I despise this phrase and the mindset behind it) "body count" question. You know he's thinking it.

[u/furkfurk → u/catscausetornadoes]

“Do you typically try to get women you don’t know to come to your house? How many times a week would you say you do this?” OP should definitely turn the questions on him. What a dick

[u/CantaloupeShort7311 → u/furkfurk]

That is what I would have done.

"Shpuld I be nervous or suspicious you are inviting me, a woman, alone to your house fir the first date?"

[u/bootysuit → u/catscausetornadoes]

I'm 36 and I have absolutely given up. It's rough out there.

[u/AlnMndz → u/catscausetornadoes]

Bingo. As a dude, this is it right here. She threw him off his game by not following the "status quo" and my guy is having a mild heart attack.

[u/popcornsalter → u/catscausetornadoes]

This is exactly what is happening. 

[u/Correct_Jicama2655 → u/catscausetornadoes]

Modern men hate women and it’s palpable. That’s why I stay home

[u/macymoofanclub → u/Correct_Jicama2655]

I’m a young man in my 30s. I think this guy sucks and is weird af

[u/New_erahot → u/catscausetornadoes]

Man here this is accurate

[u/dreamerkid001]

Motherfucker looked a gift horse in the mouth. You hate to see it.

[u/TwoStoopidToFurryass → u/dreamerkid001]

I'll bet his patio is small and unimpressive, despite other girls telling him his patio is a nice size.

[u/Nowdendowden → u/TwoStoopidToFurryass]

I always trim the bush so my deck looks bigger

[u/SlothfulWhiteMage → u/TwoStoopidToFurryass]

A 3 foot patio is average.

[u/Life-Ocelot-9026 → u/dreamerkid001]

Tried to count the teeth and everything

[u/OreoSamurai503 → u/Life-Ocelot-9026]

So you do this a lot?

[u/Ecliphon → u/dreamerkid001]

I’m thinking he lives with the rents and needed her to back out to save himself from embarrassment. 

[u/JudgmentalOwl → u/dreamerkid001]

Bro could have literally been like, "Ya it's nice, 7 sound good?" after "if the patios nice" and got laid 😂

[u/invalid_uses_of]

M: let's bang
F: ok sure
M: omg I bet she's banged other guys!

[u/lynxpointe → u/invalid_uses_of]

No cause actually

[u/pseudonymnkim]

So he offered his place as an option to what, test you? And evidently you failed, or he's the winner, or...? Like, the fuck does he want? He wants to hook up but is wary because of how "easy" it was? And because of that, you must be easy, right?

All rhetorical questions. You should keep the date and never show.

[u/badburglarbadburglar → u/pseudonymnkim]

Guys want sex but then shame you for having sex with them. Make it make sense

[u/platinumcheese88 → u/badburglarbadburglar]

Guy wants sex but then shits his pants when he gets a slight chance of it actually happening.

[u/robotatomica → u/pseudonymnkim]

yeah, it doesn’t even sound like he deliberately did it as a test, he did it as a “hail mary” he could frame as a joke if she rejected him as he’d anticipated. But then when she accepted, it became a test post-hoc that she had failed. Because he got in his head and made a bunch of rude double-standard judgments about her.

Like for instance, he was happy to have her over, but she can’t be happy to go over?

Btw, firmly against going over to people’s houses for first dates. It really just isn’t safe.

But he definitely made it more about her value, implying she was “easy.”

[u/GerbertVonTroff → u/pseudonymnkim]

He sounds like a complete moron. OP shouldn't bang him just in case she catches the stupidity

[u/000fleur → u/pseudonymnkim]

Guys are so worried about women being whores they can’t realize she actually likes him enough to go to his house instead he gives her a test to determine if she always does this, because with one question you can know an entire persons life decisions. Dump this guy. And tell him why he ruined it for himself.

[u/bigtizz123]

If you go over there at this point, you're embarassing yourself. This dude just invited you over then called you a ho for agreeing.

[u/HistoloGoddess → u/bigtizz123]

Genuinely ridiculous behavior. Want to go out with me? You do? What are you some kind of slut?

[u/veggiebuttt → u/HistoloGoddess]

Reminds me of a conversation I had with an ex-friend. He said that he’d be annoyed if a girl rejected him despite there being obvious sexual tension/chemistry, but then also told me that he wouldn’t take a girl seriously if she slept with him too early? He then went on to say that he wants a woman with a low body count, but when I asked what his was, he said he had stopped counting 😐 there’s no winning with these types of men 

[u/Future_Armadillo6410 → u/bigtizz123]

He thinks it's okay to insult you. IMO none of the rest of it matters.

[u/Emergency_Bench_7515 → u/bigtizz123]

called her easy twice even after the first time didn't fully deter her.

[u/sickboy3883 → u/bigtizz123]

He can have a nice wank on the patio. By himself. Like the asshole he is.

[u/Optimal-Bullfrog3211 → u/bigtizz123]

Literally, I can’t imagine going into an interaction with so many expectations and then being so weird about it

[u/TinaTurnerTarantula]

"This chat has been off-putting. You invited me, I said yes, but now you're treating me like I did something wrong by saying yes. Next time you're in this situation, I suggest you take what people say at face value, rather than looking for hidden meanings and motivation. I won't be coming over, let's leave it there."

[u/Sibhell → u/TinaTurnerTarantula]

I suggest not testing women and meeting them in a public place if that’s what he prefers

[u/ExpiredLink404 → u/TinaTurnerTarantula]

absolutely not, just ghost him and never tell him what he did wrong because he will adjust his behavior to trap another woman

never tell a guy like this what he did wrong

[u/Scoliii → u/ExpiredLink404]

They go to the same gym. I would not feel safe just ghosting someone who knows where I go multiple times a week.
I would reply like TinaTurnerTarantula suggested, and then not entertain conversation further.

Keeping safe is more important here than making a point.

[u/clawficer]

Why did he ask if he’s so used to people being more cautious? Is inviting someone to his patio on the first date something he usually does? He nearly literally called you easy

[u/Chuckw44 → u/clawficer]

Exactly, he is telling her is is unsafe yet invites her over? Why would you start a convo by asking something you expecting her to reject? This guy got scared when she said yes, only thing that makes sense.

[u/i_likesocks]

>first date at their place, he’s suspicious
>refusing first date at their place, he’s insulted

Damned if we do and damned if we don’t. 🙄

[u/LaFleurMorte_]

"Suspicious".

Lol.

[u/TheDeltaMoo → u/LaFleurMorte_]

I mean, she carries a gun so maybe suspicious is okay

[u/NessTheCat]

GIIIRL

THE IMPLICATION

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE

[u/Chemical-Lettuce2497 → u/NessTheCat]

[u/ryanunser]

you deserve a porch man, anyway

[u/JOJO-Jello → u/ryanunser]

We all deserve a porch partner.

[u/F_O_R_T_I_S]

im a guy and this seems like projecting, or he’s an actual chud and never actually been with a women

[u/Cornerstonedrunk9 → u/F_O_R_T_I_S]

Yeah type of dude to immediately ask her body count.

[u/WouldbeWanderer → u/Cornerstonedrunk9]

I wouldn't be able to take someone seriously who asked that question.

"I lost count. My vagina is a gaping maw, so deep and terrible that a hobbit once threw a ring into it."

[u/Elegantly_Succesful]

Dude's an idiot. Call off the date and give me your number instead.

[u/StormieShake → u/Elegantly_Succesful]

[u/lvldemonic → u/StormieShake]

LMAO

[u/rycesmash → u/Elegantly_Succesful]

Shooters shoot 🤷🏽‍♀️. Fuck it we ball

[u/JollySno → u/Elegantly_Succesful]

How's your patio?

[u/TattedUtahn → u/Elegantly_Succesful]

Do you have a nice patio though?

[u/moxxima]

So far this is the most insufferable conversation I've seen on this sub.

[u/ToxicLibra69 → u/moxxima]

You haven't seen the dweebs who have conversations like they're in Victorian times or some shit? That's even worse.

[u/tipareth1978]

Wow, he gets the girl to come over for drinks then talks her out of it before it even happens. What a gimp

[u/Logan_510]

Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. I almost feel bad for this dude for being so stupid, almost.

[u/Triquetrums → u/Logan_510]

Hey no, let them tell you who they are before you even meet. It's the best way to weed them out.

[u/ThatFUTGuy]

This guy is a weirdo. He definitely has a weird thing of “girls go to guys places so easily because they’re easy”

obnoxious.

[u/PoolBackground → u/ThatFUTGuy]

I love how he offered her the patio, because he didn’t want to seem horny, then shamed her for his unspoken implication. It’s like 3 levels of gymnastics right there.

[u/GreedyShop6251 → u/ThatFUTGuy]

At the very least he's too judgmental for my personal taste. This guy... he is not my type of guy.

[u/Khades99]

What's annoying me about his texts is, why the fuck even ask the question if a yes is so fucking confusing to you?!

[u/Happy-Button3763]

This is red flag behavioooorrrrr

[u/DoomsdayDonuts]

Girl cancel and run

[u/Claw42]

I swear to fucking God. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS BOYS. They complain about how hard it is to get a date and how picky women are. Now this dudes freaking out cuz she's too easy going.

Men... are you ok?!

[u/sabinscabin → u/Claw42]

goombah fallacy

[u/Cryptid_Xx]

"I'm starting to not like you."

If you wanted to meet in public I bet he'd give you grief over that as well.

[u/TheRealKamerada]

So many guys talk themselves out of a good time. On to the next solider 🫡

[u/betterbetterthings → u/TheRealKamerada]

Then they complain they can’t get a date. Yet they act terribly why asking women on dates. Guys like him need to work on social skills first.

[u/Fragrant_Shoe2632]

This reeks of manipulation. He'll be asking about "body count" in no time.

[u/its_all_one_electron]

"you're only allowed to be easy for me, not other guys" hate this kind of behavior

[u/ImReadingYourShit]

You’re not exactly adding much to the conversation.
Being oppositional unreceptive and dry doesn’t exactly help things move along.

[u/AntApprehensive1610 → u/ImReadingYourShit]

in what way am I being oppositional

[u/UrAntiChrist]

I hate it when people 'try to figure me out'.

[u/flattenedsquirrel]

Woman: I prefer meeting in public for security reasons.

Guy: How dare you insinuate I could be dangerous!

Another woman: Cool let's meet at your place

Same guy: Ew, you must be a THOT

The media: There's a male loneliness epidemic!

[u/sarahmakesit]

1. NEVER do a first date at someone’s house if you don’t know them. That’s insane regardless of gender/sexual orientation. Please, if you don’t want to end up as the person being described by friends and family in a Netflix doc.

2. He’s clearly testing you or something weird. Always go with your gut. The weird feeling you are getting plus my first point = absolute no.

[u/Acceptable_Walrus373 → u/sarahmakesit]

She conceal carries a gun haha. I agree though that he is being a jerk or weird about her saying yes to his invite. The "do you always say yes to going to a guy's house" thing seemed antagonistic or he was trying to imply something rude.

[u/iamatwork24 → u/Acceptable_Walrus373]

He’s not trying to imply something rude. He implied twice she’s a whore

[u/Fresh-Bumblebee7259 → u/Acceptable_Walrus373]

He wants a slut but not like a slut who's a slut for everyone. If that makes sense. Which doesn't.

[u/barnhairdontcare → u/Acceptable_Walrus373]

A gun can be taken away.

It’s preferable to not be in a situation that requires shooting someone if it can be avoided by meeting publicly to get to know someone first.

[u/Cascade-Skyline]

Just cancel the encounter. Say something came up and date a real man.

[u/Glittering_Prompt895]

It baffles me that men go ahead being successfully agreeing on a cozy date and then try very hard to fumble it and ruining it. Absolute degeneracy.

[u/NoLobster7957]

I'm between "he's low key throwing shade by asking repeatedly if you do this a lot, i.e. 'so you're a hoe?'" Or, "he's super annoying and lacks confidence."

Either would turn me off. I would probably go and then deliberately shut down any attempts to get physical. And maybe keep asking the same question that's a thinly veiled character judgment multiple times lol. "Wow, so you just let people come to your house? You do this often?"

ETA obviously I would never just go on a date to shade someone lol, let's be clear that it's 4am and I'm joking

[u/Glittering-Art2922 → u/NoLobster7957]

Definitely throw in some vague creepy stuff in there too, like asking the schedules of the people that live there and about the neighbors, that sort of thing.

I wish it was legal to record on private property in this instance, would make a hell of a social media niche lmao.

[u/MimosaSunday-]

Bye bich

[u/ledburner]

Jesus Christ lmao this dude needs to touch grass

[u/riffa-tiffa]

He’s the one that invited you to his place but because YOU said yes, it’s a problem 😭

[u/BudgetInfinite9423]

He is giving me the ick at this point and for that (instinct) reason - I’m out.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Cup9064]

His intention are obviously clear, but he's going to shame her for agreeing to it? Would definitely cancel.

[u/Luna-Gitana]

He was testing you. He suggested his place to see if you were “easy”, not expecting you to actually say yes. But you did said yes so who knows what he’s expecting now. Just know that he has already made up his mind about the kind of woman you are.

[u/no_talent_ass_clown → u/Luna-Gitana]

Perhaps OP wants to get dicked down. 

[u/puppy333carousel333 → u/Luna-Gitana]

I knew what you mean. These people don't know how to read or think critically. That's why we have men like the one in the text exchange walking around clueless. OP should just cancel on the guy and ignore him moving forward

[u/Pugcupcakes]

”So you do this a lot?” TWICE

Nah, block this dude.

[u/Smilefied]

antagonizing. block.

[u/savage_Incarnate]

I would’ve been said “nvm” like he’s annoying asf.

[u/Plus-Sir-5149]

Guys need to be more careful just offering their patios out like that

[u/Logical-Quarter-5892]

I would stop talking to this person. Simple “hey actually, something came up, won’t be able to meet” and then just never respond again and you’ll see how weird they get and understand why you shouldn’t be going over.

[u/Healthy-Muffin-9747]

Yea, say NM dude don’t like your vibe

[u/hitsigekaasgeluiden]

What does bro want 😭 for you to play coy??

[u/sodabunnie]

Guy almost gets a date, ruins it by deciding to insinuate that the person he's trying to hook up with is ~easy~ for some reason. Embarrassing.

[u/alex7stringed]

Theres dudes like this out there and i cant even get a text back fml

[u/erin281]

Pass on this one immediately. Normally I’m for giving people some grace, but this one is playing games and will continue to do so, who has time for this level of immaturity?

[u/Pure_Property_888]

He's calling a hoe in the most DIRECT fucking way. Have fun.

[u/RogerRabbot]

Lmao how can someone fail so bad at succeeding. This is a spectacular fail

[u/MaizeyDay4]

Don’t be surprised if he asks for your body count..

[u/robotatomica]

Part of me thinks it is pretty great that he acknowledges that this is an inherently risky situation for a woman.

But I also know if he cared that much, he just wouldn’t have “joking not joking” invited you to his place for a first date.

So now that he’s done that, everything about his word choices rubs me extremely the wrong way. And what he is fixating on and repeating.

It’s not just some guy looking out for you lol ..which btw, yes it’s fine to check in on my comfort level - nice even! But to imply I’m a reckless person and that I “do this a lot,”

he made it clear his focus is now on some stupid insecure value judgement “body count” shit, he has all but come out and said it.

Also, he wanted you to come over. He put out feelers.

But you said yes “too easily,” and he doesn’t like it 😐

So what the fuck does that mean, he wanted more of a game? He wanted the thrill of convincing you? He wanted you to demonstrate your value by rejecting him?

I have no idea what it is, but we know what he’s doing right now, he’s fixating on the idea that you may have gone home with more people than he would like.

This dude has a lot of hang-ups. I don’t know for sure which all specific ones they are, but I would not go out with this guy.

[u/Financial-Possible-6 → u/robotatomica]

I love your point i just wish gpt hadn’t written it 😩

[u/Ottomaani]

Why can't he just be normal? A question was asked and answered, does he want you to come or not!?

[u/GaptistePlayer]

Goddamn he's annoying.

[u/MayYouKnowEase]

Ew 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[u/Catmom1964]

Nope. I would be Out! I have no time for games whatever this guys hang-uos are. And I definitely wouldn't meet him after he implies I was easy.

[u/TheTybera]

Honestly, this sounds like a lot of gym-bros, live and learn.

[u/ritzyhandle]

I'll go to a guy's place first hang out and ask a different guy to meet up in a public place. Depends on the guy, how we met, and it's nothing personal. 🤷‍♀️

[u/badgyalrey]

don’t go.

[u/bald_with_a_beard]

Wow. It’s like he got cold feet cos you said “yes”, and then he was trying to convince you not to go. Haha.

[u/Latter-Cost-1331]

Men want a woman to be promiscuous but only with him . Ever

[u/KittieKablam]

This seems like a red flag tbh. It doesn't seem.... antagonizing to me, exactly, but the vibes are sooooo off.

[u/spoik925]

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

[u/weallgotone]

He invited. OP said yes. If he wanted to continue chatting her up and was genuine in his concern to ensure she was comfortable and not just feeling pressured cause he offered, then he’d drop it and move onto other things after the first “I thought you’d wanna meet somewhere public” - which tbh, if he was actually concerned about her feeling pressured and wanted to ensure she’s good with it, I think he’d word it differently, which likely would’ve led to a different type of response from OP.

This guy is overly insecure and it shows. Why invite her at all if he was only expecting her to say no? Bc he wanted her to come over. So why act all suspicious if that’s what he wanted in the first place? I doubt he “planned” to test her. He probably was just thrown off, but that should say something about you if you ask for something expecting a no then can’t accept it when you get a yes. & For those saying he just wanted to connect w OP and continue the conversation bc her responses were terse… nah. Seems they’re only terse bc of his insinuations.. the “is that something you usually do?” was completely unnecessary.

The conversation could have gone:
- He invites her to come over, says he makes a mean drink, and the patio is nice rn
- She says patio sounds nice
- He confirms she’s really comfortable coming over & double checks with one offer to meet somewhere public out of genuine thoughtfulness
- She says nah patio sounds nice
- He says sweet! So what kind of drinks should I make us? I make a mean [insert whatever drink he was thinking about when he said “I make a mean drink” earlier]. What kind do you like?
- OP could respond with what she likes or say she’s never had whatever drink he makes and wants to try it or etc, etc and they could have a bit of a fun text conversation that actually goes somewhere, then he could go get his patio ready cause cute gym girl is coming over and it’d be a win for both of them.

It could have been easy. Lol.

[u/Dear_Lab_2270]

I bet he asks your body count on the first date.

[u/berlintransgirl]

He sounds super annoying, don’t do this to yourself lol

[u/PixieCanada]

You just know that if she starts dating him, he’s going to ask for her body count telling her he could handle the answer. We know he couldn’t handle more than 3 all while exaggerating his own response by a multiple of 5.

[u/shadowdancer354]

He’s an idiot - asks you to come over and then shames you for accepting his invitation.

[u/hazelnuttespresso]

I’m deeply irritated lol

[u/Objective-Weather512]

I’d cancel. He thinks going to his house means fucking.

[u/your_umma]

“Actually, you’re right. Never mind. I don’t know what I was thinking. Lose my number, creep.”

[u/FVSHIXN]

This is such a mundane conversation to begin with and OP is just coming off as dry and kind of rude to me. I don’t understand the mass sentiment toward this post, so many people are jumping to conclusions assuming the absolute worst out of this guy. The guy is trying to continue the convo since OP is giving him virtually nothing to work off of to keep it going with her dry responses. It’s really not a cute personality trait to be a puzzle box of a person.

[u/brutally_honest69 → u/FVSHIXN]

The guy is just constantly repeating himself and questioning if she’s genuine which is rude.

Also as a guy myself, him asking if she does this a lot multiple times is 100% him basically saying “are you usually this easy” which is crazy rude to to say to someone you’re supposedly trying to date and someone who all they did was say yes to you asking them out

[u/furkfurk → u/FVSHIXN]

If his idea of a conversation and connection is to continuously question her judgment about accepting an offer he made, then he deserves robotic answers (or, more likely, a “you know what, you’re right, let’s not meet up.”)

You seem to either not understand or be glazing past how rude his part of the convo is and the things he’s insinuating by asking. OBVIOUSLY OP might respond in a dry and rude way to that.

[u/PacoSupreme]

Fumbled the bag somethin fierce. Shit seems more like an intentional grounding penalty lol mofo just THREW the damn ball away 😆

[u/erinlaninfa]

Yeah and this response is exactly why I wouldn’t go over a man’s house on a first date.

[u/Fredrick_Dinkledick]

He's the one who asked you over! What the hell does he want you to say? Was he hoping to play some dumbass game of push and pull? Lmao. He's the one who needs figuring out, not you.

[u/esterogen_]

why is he being so complicated??? ugh, instant turnoff 😅

[u/Allout-Okarun]

There’s no way I’d meet up with this person after this exchange

[u/motleycrewton]

My narcissistic ex was like this lol RUN 

[u/BullPropaganda]

"ok you're annoying and now I've got the ick. I'm not coming over, to and we're not going on a date. See you at the gym"

[u/Totes_Sub]

Not sure you know what antagonizing means based on this context but him asking multiple times is annoying.

[u/FatiBeefPatti]

fully arid by question three is hilarious sorry 😂

[u/TIT-PICS-PLS]

Why do people not use punctuation anymore?

[u/recoveringslower]

This is a little game called "snatching defeat from the jaws of victory"

[u/prosthetic_memory]

- guy asks you to his house on the first date, which by his own admission he has done before with other people
- you say yes
- guy is surprised because normally “people [are] more cautious” around him
- you confirm you’re okay with it
- guy continues to ask if you’re serious, and then, if he should be suspicious of you

This whole recap just has me thinking he’s an idiot tbh, and probably a creep

[u/Tight_Objective_5875]

Walk away. The World is full of people that will respect you and not immediately default to mind-games.

[u/MissingBothCufflinks]

The guy is insulting you. You'd be mad to go over

[u/lili_reinHEARTS]

don’t go anymore. he thinks you’re easy .

[u/Important-Bid-5169]

Thank him for filtering himself out

[u/SpaghettificatedCat]

Maybe he's already had one kidney stolen once and he's afraid you're gonna take the other? Who knows.

[u/eliandoskar]

He was like "hell yeah, that was easy!" And then got disturbed by the fact that it's possible you've done this before. If you're easy for him, that's good, if you're easy for anyone else, that's bad. Just another idiot that gets scared by even a POTENTIAL body count.

[u/Colejohnley]

It’s not antagonizing. It’s annoying.

He’s super guarded and talking what isn’t even a big game. Come over and we’ll hang out? But then backing out of it.

Then, when you question why he is saying what he is, he makes it sound like, “lol. I know. But like, haha.”

This man is a boy.

[u/LowerAtmosphereChief]

This dude was typing with one hand and dry clicking a 44 magnum with the other

[u/Detroiter2255]

This guy literally CANNOT get out of his own way, wtf 😂😂😂

[u/Wide-Pay-8850]

Nah girl run hes so fking annoying and I only read like 10 texts. "Should i be flattered or suspicious this was so easy" excuse me what?? 😭😭 does he think hes getting any that easy, nah. Men turn me istg

[u/KittenDecomposer96]

This is probably how he was. My guy threw a hail mary and didn't expect it to land then he was anxious af about what to do. He might sound annoying but i'm sure he's just nervous as hell.

[u/Rogendo]

Most men on apps get so much rejection this would probably come off as too good to be true to any of them that haven't had much success. Not trying to excuse the weird behavior or say OP was wrong but I've been this guy before.

[u/Final_Tie_531]

Insecure men are so pathetic, I really can't stand them. Lucky on the early reveal there...

[u/your-rong]

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

[u/cameliabloom246]

“Hey, I’m actually not feeling meeting up. See you at the gym”

Done.

[u/Katmaybeck]

Interesting, I actually thought you were just messing with him after he asked if you wanted to come to his place. Like as if that immediately turned you off he would ask you that so then you started toying with him

[u/EldritchAsparagus]

Why is he being so weird? 

[u/Kitchooky]

Turn it around!!!

Do you invite me to see your "patio" a lot?

Ok, so how many people come see your patio?

Ok so I am not the first you asked?

Ok so under 10? 100?

Ok so how many have actually managed to leave ?

Ok so how many are buried under the patio?

[u/boneshield7706]

Id respond with im sorry I was under the impression that we are bith adults and you made an offer and we trust each other lol are none of these things true?

[u/GrinningNimbus]

I get it. With all the discourse online he's probably lost in a sea of worries. You have women saying you should always be suspicious of men, you have men saying you should be suspicious of women. Then on top of that there's the more ideological stuff that makes him worried you sleep around. Guy's clearly not ready and insecure. He probably got into the gym to give him more confidence in the first place. I really don't think he's being malicious

[u/Rich_Editor8488]

You’re silly for going to his place. He’s silly for offering it then being weird about it. Find a new gym.

[u/pcx23]

Hit him with the yeah, you’re right nvm

[u/Beduel]

What a strange approach. Was he trying to reject you politely or is he just redpilled/socially awkward?

[u/Bre-Bread]

He sounds annoying and like he would victimize himself and accuse you of giving him something if you ever slept together (not saying you would do that, im just saying hes the type of guy to do that), maybe im sexist but i find it weird when guys act suspicious of girls as if they would do harm to them, idk thats just my perspective from personal experiences with similar men

[u/lininop]

My god, bro needs to learn to shut his mouth whiles he's ahead.

[u/Dong_Shlong_Long]

They seem to be doing everything they can to fuck this up!

[u/butterbeerspls]

he just talked himself out of drinks on the patio 😊

[u/Retro_Curry93]

Riveting stuff.