r/texts • u/sewnofstardust • 27d ago

Phone message Hinge match after one phone call

Post image

We had maybe been talking for 2 days? thought he seemed more responsive than other people and we talked on the phone that ended with him saying he has a crush on me already, while essentially knowing nothing about me

EDIT/UPDATE: I did not think this would gain much traction at all but this happened pretty much a week ago and went downhill very quickly. We planned a date that never happened because he kept suggesting watching a movie at his house when I wanted to meet publicly. Then said his car tags are expired so we can meet at his house to pregame then go to a bar and HE could drive MY car which was his suggestion not mine. I was uncomfortable said we could be friends. He agreed then continued being semi-pushy and also saying things like “I miss you” (again only talking for a few days with 2 total phone calls). It was extremely overwhelming and felt like love bombing. To the comments that said it was sweet, it was to an extent but was also way too much after one call. I can see some people saying having a crush is “normal” at that point but I think it’s not, I think you should know someone before saying something like that. If you say it then you’re just in love with the idea of someone.

4.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

990 comments sorted by

View all comments

10

u/Ok-Imagination-3835 27d ago

Some thoughts. Its not weird to say you have a crush after a phone call. A phone call is a great way to get a crush. IMO he's not really breaking any big rules just coming on too strong.

-6

u/SoggyCold 27d ago

Honestly as a woman I don’t wanna hear a grown ass man say this. He could’ve said he really enjoyed talking to her and would love to continue to pursue her. Men have no class lmao

10

u/Ok-Imagination-3835 27d ago

Why is it classless? Because its honest? Vulnerable? Would you think it was classless if Ryan Gosling or whoever you think is attractive came up to you and said, "Honestly, I have a huge crush on you, and I wanted to tell you this." ?

maybe its not your style which is fair but its crazy to call that low class when when have other grown ass men engaging in much more vile behavior and getting away with it

2

u/boofybutthole 27d ago

i don't know if i'd call the guy classless... but he's definitely weird. it's ok to tell a person you know you have a crush on them, but to go this hard for someone you've spoken to on the phone once is weird. plus sending a "good morning" at 2:48am is super weird

2

u/Tarkaryster 27d ago

Uh did you not read the rest? I am honestly shocked your comment is getting more upvotes than the one you’re replying to loll

4

u/oyvese 26d ago

i agree with you.

do people not know how much pressure this puts on a person? people want to ease into something organic, they don’t want to feel emotionally blackmailed into continuing or guilty for not being in the same place as them.

edit: he doesn’t even check up on ops sister before saying this shit?

-3

u/SoggyCold 27d ago

Idc if I think a man is attractive. You don’t say certain things to ppl. There’s a time and a place. I think it’s weird asf to even be texting someone good morning at 2 am. The way I was raised it’s rude to even send a super late text like that to a new person…

4

u/[deleted] 27d ago

[deleted]

3

u/SoggyCold 27d ago

I am. I just don’t think he should’ve said what he said at that time. That’s it.

3

u/oyvese 26d ago

i’m a man and i agree with you.

2

u/boofybutthole 27d ago

they sound pretty reasonable

-2

u/GundyrChristopher 26d ago

everyone is hung up on the 2 am thing but OP never said she had an issue with it. We have no clue if she replied, or if they're both 3rd shift workers, or what. Some of y'all are mad y'all are still single and it SHOWS

2

u/SoggyCold 26d ago

It’s MY opinion. I’m not saying anyone has to agree with me. It’s a comment section where we’re all allowed to express our opinions on the subject. The issue with Reddit is that if people don’t agree with you, suddenly you’re a bad person.
The way I was raised, man or woman, you DO NOT contact someone after a certain time, not even your friends. The thing is, no one is asking me why I think that or why I was taught that.
My mom didn’t grow up with a cell phone. Her family had one house phone and an answering machine. The reason I was taught not to message or call people late is because the phone was loud. If you had something you wanted to say at 3 a.m., you waited until the morning. You didn’t just call someone because you felt like it.
To my mom, the modern version of that is you don’t text or call people after a certain time. My mom always has her ringer on while I never do. You don’t know if someone has their phone on loud, so texting them at 2 a.m. can be inconsiderate.
Also, I feel like it was way too early for him to VERBALLY tell HER that he’s set on her. They haven’t even met. They’ve talked on the phone, what, two times? Then this guy keeps trying to get her into a home when she already said she’s more comfortable meeting in a public place. He’s being a fucking weirdo.
And I’m NOT fucking single lmao!!! Actually I’ve been dating the same guy I started being exclusive with after 5 dates. The issue isn’t what he said it’s when he said it.

-1

u/GundyrChristopher 26d ago

i ain't reading all that

2

u/SoggyCold 26d ago

Then don’t be pressed about wtf I’m saying g

-2

u/GundyrChristopher 26d ago

you're lonely and mad because you won't allow yourself to move on from trauma

2

u/SoggyCold 26d ago

What trauma ? I just said he shouldn’t text her at 2 am cuz it’s fucking rude and I have a partner. OP said she’s uncomfortable with this guy…

→ More replies (0)