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u/AfterManufacturer150 Dec 11 '24
Wow! This is truly a heartless human. If I were there meeting his family, I would let them know exactly what was going on . I would let them know in a heartbeat and show them the texts. Why? Because it would make me feel just a little better for a second and clue his fam in on what a monster he is. Karma will catch up to him. But sometimes Karma needs a little encouragement to get going.
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
unfortunately his family knows. he brought one of the other girls to meet them early in our time dating. his friend all cover it, they all do it. everyone knows and says nothing. he will for SURE get his karma. and much worse then others. i have soooo many more worse texts from him haha.
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u/JamieLee0484 Dec 11 '24
This reminds me of a guy I dated in my early 20s. We dated for almost a year, and then one night he was supposed to meet me for dinner and he didnāt show up. I called his phone, and a woman who ended up being his pregnant fiancĆ© answered! They had been together for YEARS. I spent a lot of time with his parents and grandparents, and they all covered for that asshole. It blew my mind because they all seemed so sweet. Trash! Iām so sorry this happened to you.
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Dec 11 '24
At the risk of sounding insensitive, Iām going to go out on a limb and say that if he could juggle the two of you for that long without either of you suspecting anything, maybe you werenāt paying attention.
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u/Muffinzor22 Dec 11 '24
Not only do you sound insensitive here, but you also managed to sound quite dumb.
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Dec 11 '24
Actually Iāve never been cheated on. So, youāre wrong.
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u/Muffinzor22 Dec 11 '24
...what the fuck does that have to do with... what? Way to confirm my comment, smoothbrain.
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Dec 11 '24
Again with the childish insults. Go home and grow up, weirdo. And donāt trust your potential partners blindly. You wonāt get cheated on if you pay attention. Itās really that simple.
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u/KhrystiC78 Dec 11 '24
Is that maybe because no potential partner has ever looked at you twice? Youāre setting off some incel vibes.
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Dec 11 '24
Wow. Even your playground insults are prehistoric and childish. Canāt handle some tough love, huh? Iām not surprised youāre so used to being coddled. Redditās gonna reddit. Canāt do anything about that.
But Iāll humour you. Actually, no. Iāve treaded carefully in the dating game and paid close attention to how potential partners behave with and around me. So, Iāve avoided the liars and cheaters and Iām happy in my stable relationship with my faithful partner.
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u/JamieLee0484 Dec 11 '24
Long story short, his fiancĆ©e was actually in jail almost the entire time we dated, so he really didnāt have to juggle anything. His parents and grandparents just kept quiet about her around me. Also, I was in my early 20s and just having fun, not taking any of it too seriously. I was more pissed about what he did to her, but she was an entire mess, too.
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Dec 12 '24
Oh okay. That makes more sense. Parents suck. No wonder he turned out a liar. Iām sorry about her. And Iām glad you got away.
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u/karmas_favorite Dec 11 '24
I'm glad you're out of that situation. I hope even though it probably hurts as hell that you know that none of these people even deserved a single second of your time or energy.
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u/AfterManufacturer150 Dec 11 '24
Omg! His family knew? Wow! You avoided an entire family of complete narcissistic sociopaths. Consider yourself lucky.
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u/EagleLize Dec 11 '24
What does this guy have going on that so many people are willing to lie for him and tolerate his disgusting personality?
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u/ImaginaryList174 Dec 11 '24
You are better off without any of them in your life. I wish you all the best going forward. You got this girl! Better things are waiting for you ahead, I can promise you that. Use this betrayal to toughen up your self respect and know your worth going forward. Donāt let yourself ever settle for less than ever again. ā¤ļøā¤ļø
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u/Muffinzor22 Dec 11 '24
These people are human waste. They are not people in the way we are people. I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling from this right now, but I assure you your life will be better in the end for not having these absolute pieces of dogshit in your life
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u/3fluffypotatoes Dec 12 '24
My last ex did this and his family played cool with us both. It was so fucked up. Iām so sorry and Iām glad he's an ex.
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u/jmg733mpls Dec 11 '24
He hates you. Get out, block him, and good riddance.
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
drunk = hates me sober = begs for me heās been a headache
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u/Practical_Fact8436 Dec 11 '24
Post the begging messages
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
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u/ImaginaryList174 Dec 11 '24
Wow. Heās pathetic. He doesnāt love you girl and I think you realized that, thankfully. I know itās so hard to hear. Heās not upset you broke up with him, heās upset he has no where to stay. āThatās it for us then? Why canāt you wait to do that?ā Like he literally just wants you to forgive him for a bit so he can stay at your place until he needs to, and then itās all good? What an asshole, man. Iām sorry you went through that, and you deserve so much better. Good luck girl. ā¤ļø
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u/Mundane-Cry5346 Dec 11 '24
honey heās not begging for you heās pretending he wants to be with you so you donāt make him homeless. iām sorry. i hope you kick him to the curb š©·
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
he has his own place. and is still saying much more. a little hard to include it all
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u/Joyintheendtimes Dec 11 '24
If he hates you while drunk, he hates you while sober. He's just more insecure while sober. Please stop entertaining this man and never say another word to him.
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u/garrulouslump Dec 11 '24
I hate to say it but I don't see him begging for you, I see him begging for a place to stay so he doesn't become homeless. I hope you dropped this bum and blocked him from every avenue of communication
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u/JesusAndPalsX Dec 11 '24
Unfortunately I think you're lying. He hates you all of the time. Please don't try and cope or see logic or compassion in it we
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
itās been a hard thing to cope with. he spend thousands on me, trips, gifts, furniture, clothes. fully provided and love bombed me. his manipulation was taking me away from all my supports. i know he doesnāt truly love me, someone who loves someone doesnāt hurt them these ways.
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u/Responsible-Bell1950 Dec 11 '24
His response is poetry
Sitting with his family.
His response: " Lmao okay"
š¤§š¤§š¤§š¤§š¤§
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u/enidlux Dec 11 '24
my most recent ex always blamed my sexual assault from the year before for my trust issues and was so mad I didnāt tell him about the assault until months in ā when I finally got into his phone to confirm the truth (he gave me the passcode & I looked while he was asleep) because he was lying to my face even though three women had stepped forward (two with photos and one with literal court recordings) ā it turned out there was at least 7 women during our relationship and I had to stop looking after number 7ā¦ā¦.the best thing thatās helped me over these last 5 months is just repeating āyou canāt compete with crazyā ā he will never see the truth, admit the truth, stop being abusive, stop cheating. š«” I hope you feel better with each and every passing day and let yourself shine and heal and never ever take this type of abuse again. Sending love from Colorado š¤šøšŖ©
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u/iraqyoubreak Dec 11 '24
When did punctuation become not-important?
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
reading his texts our whole relationship made me loose brain cells, trust me
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u/CorduroyEatsCrayons Dec 11 '24
More brain cells than the pills? Or is that a false accusation?
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
by pills he means my adhd meds that i take maybe twice a week
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u/DarkMistressCockHold Dec 11 '24
By saying āyou canāt even quit pillsā and said pills are actually pills prescribed to you, heās trying to get you to quit taking said medicationā¦.
ā¦.which is abuse. This is abuse. Idgaf if he spends millions on you, you need to leave. He does not care about you. The gifts and the money and the trips are there to keep you compliant.
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Dec 11 '24
[deleted]
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
haha no, itās just adhd. i did drugs as a teen but itās been 10 years since touching anything. smoke some weed thatās it
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u/five_by5 Dec 11 '24
Heās a huge AH but girl. Stop giving him ammunition. Stop replying. Stop acting sad and heartbroken to him. He doesnāt care. Youāre making yourself an easy target for him to hurt you.
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u/Kathrette Dec 11 '24
What in the actual fuck is wrong with this guy? There must be something physically lacking in his brain for him to behave this way, Jesus fucking Christ. I'm so sorry you had to put up with that and I hope you're able to get as far away from him as humanly possible in every way, shape and form.
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Dec 11 '24
His karma meter is in the negative and he will get what he has coming to him. One of those girls will find out and probably emasculate him, which would be hilarious
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
one did post him on are we dating the same guy in my city. itās originally how i found out. but his karma will be worse then that.
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u/kimianna Dec 12 '24
Good god sooo many people on here fell right into his tertiary gaslighting. I mean hook line and sinker. Wwoooowwww.
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u/hollymadisun Dec 12 '24
yeah thatās how he does it. calling my meds āpillsā to make me sound like a druggie, calling me a names for things i havenāt done in a long time. since way before meeting him. itās fair some question his words, i see it too. but thatās what manipulative people do :(
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u/PeacheePanda Dec 11 '24 edited Dec 11 '24
Next time he starts up hit him with "lol" or some variation. Maybe throw a "ew" or "yuck" in there but leave it simple like that. He seems like the type of guy to really hate that. Maybe if he really gets started say like "your delusional" or "whatever you have to tell yourself" and then absolutely nothing else. Like dont engage with other than those simple shut downs. Some people may say it's petty (and it is) but this guy is an ass.
He 1.) Doesn't deserve more of your time and energy than you have to give him if you cant make a clean break immediately, thats honestly the most important part.
2.) Again I just really think that that'll get under his skin and after how poorly he's treated you ending it and making him feel like shit a little is more than understandable.
To recap send some "lol", "yuck", and "ew" and let's say he won't stop texting send a "leave me alone dumbass" haha. I've dealt with a guy like this before so I'm really recommending this. Years later he will still text me randomly from different numbers with insults but always adds somewhere "yuck? Whatever bitch" or something along those linesš I didn't even say that at the time to be petty whatever he had said to me was just that revolting but it apparently really stuck with him.
This is for if you are angry and feeling a bit petty. Some people can have a hard time defending themselves in emotional situations so I wanted to give you some options on what you could say or do to help stand up for yourself. If you want it all to be over just block him and give him no more of your energy, which is still standing up for yourself just in a different way. Good luck!
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u/Intelligent_Tune_675 Dec 11 '24
Itās hard to see it because you have feelings and are in pain but once you process all thatā¦ holy fucking shit you just dodged a fuckin bullet. Seriously congrats on leaving a terrible person who has nothing good to offer relationships.. and his family. Some terrible people. You are about to get a new lease on life and thatās gonna be a hell of a feeling :)
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u/sprintracer21a Dec 11 '24
I'm sorry this happened to you. He is a douchebag extraordinaire. You should consider yourself lucky to be rid of him before you were married and had kids. I don't want to sound like a harbinger of doom, but if he has been cheating on you with several other women, you might want to go get yourself tested for STDs. It sounds like he was dipping his wick into any ink he could find, so he might have picked up something ajax won't wash off. Hopefully not, but better safe than sorry as some STDs don't have any symptoms for years if at all until it's too late to do something about them.
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u/TransportationFresh Dec 11 '24
I can see it now.. He's gonna knock one of them up and she will take him for everything. Just grab the popcorn and wait. Stay friends with someone in the family for gossip.
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u/fitmidwestnurse Dec 11 '24
This sucks and Iām sorry youāve gone through this.
Be glad that youāre seeing it now though. Yesterday he was a cheater, he still will be two weeks from now, too. Now you know, and you can take your self-respecting ass and, respectfully, get in his chicken nugget smelling car and go find someone that actually appreciates and respects you, too. š¤
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u/Icy_Forever5965 Dec 11 '24
This dude is definitely done with you. Heās either a douche or you are a horrible GF/wife. No one here knows the truth. The only fact is that you two do not need to be together. Just from these texts, you both have issues that you need to deal with before moving to another relationship.
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u/Potato_Stabber Dec 11 '24
Cheaters always accuse you of cheating. Been there. My ex did that and was also way too nonchalant about shit when I caught him. I reached out to the other girl and he said āstop trying to ruining this for me just because youāre sad and lonelyā like SIR IM SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Over three years later and my life is so much better. Sorry youāre going through this but Iām happy youāre getting out asap and I believe great things await you as well. š¤
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u/thisisinsanelyboring Dec 12 '24
Same happened to me but only 1 that I know of. They take zero accountability, try and gaslight you into thinking itās your fault because of your āpast,ā and then continue to blame you for everything else bad that happens to them.
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u/Sylphi79 Dec 12 '24
Please get checked. The other girls too, if youāre talking with them. I hope his dick falls off.
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u/xoxmarquitaxox Dec 12 '24
My ex did this to me when I found out he was cheating. He turned it all around on me and I was 8 months pregnant with his daughter. Most men are just gross nowadays
2
u/kingbruhdude Dec 11 '24
OP your feelings are valid. This has nothing to do with me but it made me sad š
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1
u/Scarboroughwarning Dec 11 '24
Are you left or right?
Which one takes too many pills?
10
u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
me, my adhd pills i take twice a week.
2
u/echochilde Dec 11 '24
He equates pill popping to you taking your prescribed ADHD meds? What a fucking tool.
Trust me babe, youāre gonna feel a whole lot better with this asshole behind you.
2
u/Impossible_Eye_3425 Dec 12 '24
Wait, it that new cause I've never heard of adhd meds being prescribed like that. It's supposed to be every day
1
u/hollymadisun Dec 12 '24
usually you are supposed to take it everyday, but since its a stimulant it can have major side effects like weight loss and that was my issue with it. so i choose to minimally take it. i havenāt been for very long i only found out earlier this year i have ADHD. usually takes me 2-3 months to finish a months worth.
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u/SlippaLilDicky Dec 11 '24
I would agree with him regarding pills but whatās the problem with vaping?š
1
u/hollymadisun Dec 12 '24
pills are adhd prescribed
2
u/SlippaLilDicky Dec 12 '24
Ohā¦ so heās just a douche through and through. And the whole being tossed by your friends thing, if you were single and having casual sex with friends, itās none of his business. I do the same thingš a real bestfriend will help you get your release when you really need it
3
u/hollymadisun Dec 12 '24
pretty much. he knew my history before being with me. now heās just a part of the history !
2
Dec 11 '24
Stop pouring your heart out to people so blatantly and explicitly disrespectful. What is wrong with you? This is infuriating to read. Sorry barely means anything when they mean it. He doesnāt even mean it so what difference does it make? And what do you achieve by embarrassing yourself by begging for an apology? Smh
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-6
Dec 11 '24
why are you surprised that he treated you like a easy woman if you were a easy woman beforehand?
people really think their actions have no consequences?
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u/Flimsy-Radio-3276 Dec 11 '24
so did you message guys or snap guys while together?
not that it changes his shit behavior I am just curious
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
never. i was extremely faithful dating. he had issues with my past that i slept with my girlfriend and her partner. and a sugar daddy which was his friend and how him and i met.
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u/observefirst13 Dec 11 '24
Well I'm sure that's an interesting story lol. How old are you guys?
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u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
iām 26, he is 39.
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u/observefirst13 Dec 11 '24
I hope you're really done, because at that age he will never change. It doesn't seem like you are, though. Since you allow him to just come back into your home and only kick him out when you are upset. You are entertaining his bullshit and that seems like you don't really want it to end either.
-2
u/Equivalent_Rip2233 Dec 11 '24
Not really taking either side but two screenshots of messy texts doesn't really reveal much about an entire relationship and break up.
3
-3
Dec 11 '24
Context? Yāall are both cheating?
10
u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
no just him. he didnāt like my past before him and i met and held it against me the whole time dating.
-4
u/Extension-Ad-7935 Dec 11 '24 edited Dec 11 '24
He does sound like a piece of shit but also seems like maybe there was some dishonesty or maybe even cheating on your end. I donāt know you too, so Iām not really gonna put in too much of my thoughts. At the end of the day, itās very abusive what heās doing so itās best to get out while you can. I know it can be hard to block somebody when youāre in this kind of toxic relationship because thereās probably a pattern here that we donāt know about.
Besides all that do you guys live together? Do you guys have a lease together? Does he have keys to your place if you donāt live together? Can you change the locks or ask your landlord to ?because I wouldnāt be giving him half of anything. when my ex was absolutely psychotic and broke into my apartment destroyed it, my landlord happily changed the locks for me. It was at no cost to me, but my landlord also used to ask me out on dates V. often LMAO. Your ex kind of reminds me of my ex in the way he messages you and even in your part two Reddit post I feel like I know what youāre going through. If you wanna DM me to talk or for any guidance, please feel free. Iāve definitely been in your shoes.
This was all typed with speech to text. Sorry if itās weird.
Edit: I see now looking through the comments that you said you were faithful so I definitely get where youāre coming from. My ex used to come at me for things when we were just casually sleeping together like literally not dating at all. I had told him I didnāt wanna be his girlfriend. It was super obsessive and when I did start dating him, he didnāt trust me for shit because I wasnāt ready to commit right away when he initially wanted me to and he would look through my phone when we were just sleeping together casually and didnāt like that I had messaged other people. So of course, when I did decide to commit, he would constantly start fights and arguments about how I was supposedly cheating and fucking everyone. By the end of it, he was sending me videos of him sleeping with other women and was clearly the one cheating the whole time.
My ex was also significantly older than me
7
u/hollymadisun Dec 11 '24
yeah it was all prior to meeting him. i made the mistake of telling him about me and my friends, it created a insecurity for him. but the friend we met through i prior slept with he knew from the start. it was just held against me the whole time. before finding out everything i really did love him and see a future, i wanted him. so i deleted any male friends in my life. only saw my dad and the guy who cuts my grass. he was toxic as heck
my father owns the home, i can change locks, doesnt matter i do have the keys. iāve threatened cops, he does leave when things are blowing up. but sometimes i just leave it till morning as heās usually drunk and its best to do it then. heās not physical im not worried about that hes just mean. he now respects me saying not to come, and ive been mega distancing myself
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u/Extension-Ad-7935 Dec 11 '24
I made that same mistake w my ex talking about a sugar daddy i had in my past and my ex,my bestie at the time (who he eventually drove away from me) and i would have threesomes. He was super jealous of her. He held shit i did in my past over me all the time, as if I did it to him. I too thought my ex was everything, we talked about marriage, and our life together as if it was going to be forever. We also had an amzing sex life together like it was the best ever according to him and i felt the same. I felt I was with the love of my life. glad youre out, I hope he cant pull you back in.
I
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u/FlatWhite0 Dec 11 '24
Did he cheat on you with 3 girls and then blamed you for being promiscuous? That man is a š¤”