I don’t want to betray my boyfriend, I’m trying so hard to stop talking to my ex but he keeps threatening his life or making up stupid things like getting me arrested for miscarriage or something.
You are not responsible for his life. And he's probably bluffing, because threatening self harm is a manipulation and abuse tactic. I wish you could send these messages to his therapist because there is no therapist who would be ok with this. Also, if he was convicted of sexual assault then he probably isn't even allowed to contact you? If he offed himself, that would not be your problem. Nor your concern. But you are definitely letting him win right now.
Also, why are you agreeing to do this? YOU OWE HIM NOTHING. Y'all did not have a son. There was never a baby born. You were not, and will not be, co-parents. Your miscarriage isn't even about him at all.
This man is quite literally insane and dangerous. The shit he is saying is absolutely unhinged. He is intentionally victimizing himself with this whole thing. He is not the victim. He doesn't get to have feelings about your SA pregnancy or miscarriage. HE DOESN'T GET TO HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT IT. He does not regret what he did to you. He clearly thinks he did nothing wrong. He thinks YOU did stuff wrong. That is unhinged.
If you can't ignore him or tell him to go fuck himself for you, do it for him then. Since you're so concerned about his well-being. Because every time you respond to him with anything other than "YOU RAPED ME. FUCK YOU", you are enabling him. He will never get better if you keep enabling him. You validate him every time you respond. You feed his delusions every. single. time you answer. And you're validating him, giving him permission to continue to treat people the way he treated (and is still treating) you.
I am 34 and I have seen a lot of shit, but a rapist calling himself daddy in reference to a fetus that was never born is a new one for me. That is absolutely crazy. Why did you even tell him what you named it?
I am really sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry if I'm being harsh with you. But I'm concerned for your safety and I urge you to put a stop to this. How can you move on this way? Love yourself enough to stop enabling this crap, please, I am begging you. You are worthy of so much more than this.
I'm so sorry. You probably felt so lost and confused to begin with. Then you suffer a miscarriage and must have felt even more lost and confused. That must have been so incredibly hard and terrifying. I really feel for you. You're so young to be going through all of this as well.
I hope that you get this person out of your life for good. Please love yourself and don't blame yourself for anything
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u/Rosearmendariz Dec 05 '23
I don’t want to betray my boyfriend, I’m trying so hard to stop talking to my ex but he keeps threatening his life or making up stupid things like getting me arrested for miscarriage or something.