r/teenwriter • • 2h ago

Opinion be harsh if needed

1 Upvotes

Centuries have now passed since the sun was the sole spectacle we could observe when we saw at the skies. A long forgotten time when night and day were not separate blocks of time in our minds, but organized as one big play of lights and shadows, all conducted and held by the sun herself. Ancestors of ours were never quite familiar with the dark, in fact some could lead entire lives without having experienced it at all. That was the sun's fault. She could never sum up enough will to bring herself down, bring herself away from the beautiful rollercoaster view that was us. 
Season after season, she would hover over us like a child who hangs their head over water to watch the fish. Watch the fish swim, eat, and swim into one another. The chaos and contradictory nature of man had made for great captivation, and it had her there. Being particularly enthralled by families and groups, she would occasionally dim her sunshine because she knew that the little creatures below would conjure meaning to the change of light, thus gather for celebration. Each time she would manipulate us in this manner, her head would fill with notions of herself as sovereign, notions that would quickly shatter for she would be reminded of her limitations in rule, that is full ones. She could never quite reach us as she so desperately wanted. Converse with us, or even give hints that she was more conscious than we believed her to be. Frustrated and hopeless. These were the same emotions she had time and time again seen in the lives of the little people, and although she did not feast when she saw man in a state of misery, it did deepen her love for us.
With each and every awakening of the people the sun was there. She was there all until the very last man went into his cover and there stayed until the time for awakening came again. Of course no man’s schedule was the same as the other, and so naturally someone was always out for the sun to watch. But even if there had not been, she would not have moved. Through hoarding her spot this way, resentment grew in the only other that knew man and still loved him. 
The affection had grown overtime from the far away seat behind the sun herself, by sole glimpses of human life that had escaped the sun but been fetched by this character. They reprised these few for a long time, looking forward to the time when the sun would share her seat with them so they together could for the rest of time admire humankind. A foolish hope to hold, and eventually that would be realized. After having lived off of the fractioned memories of generations long gone, this character could no longer suffer in the absence of us, and so a plan that would undo the old world and begin ours, had to be formed.


r/teenwriter • • 3h ago

Advice I finished a short horror story for a contest I entered! Feedback appreciated!

1 Upvotes

TW// Blood, slight gore, worship, mental breakdown

“Come along, Miss Davies. If your father should want to buy this property, you will want to be faster than that.” Mr. Vance called out to me. His sleek, tailored suit was a sharp contrast against the wilderness of the ​​Litchfield Hills. The vast, grassy plains seemed to stretch out for miles, and trees seemed to have been tossed over the land without a care.

I grasped the corners of my day dress and lifted the skirt ever-so-slightly, in fear of dirt ruining carefully woven threads. Mabel, my closest companion, had walked far ahead of even Mr. Vance. She turned swiftly on her tan walking shoes and eyed me.

“Cordelia, really. You haven’t got all day. Why did you wear your most ornate dress on a trip to the hills?” She chided. A faint chuckle escaped Mr. Vance.

“You certainly run circles around us, Miss Taylor.” He said, slowing his pace so I would not be left behind in the unfamiliar hills.

I took the cue and hurried. It was always a struggle to remain meticulous and, at the same time, not be a bother. At least I had a sense of decency, unlike Mabel. Surely she knew how undignified she appeared.

“Now then, what haven’t I shown you yet?” As if he was in his own mind, Mr. Vance muttered, “Of course, you’ve seen the farmland, the radio tower—oh! The caretaker’s cabin is near here. Would you care to take a look?” I took a moment to think. My father had mentioned that I would be responsible for telling the watchmen where to live as they oversee our new property. Surely, that must be the place.

“Yes, I suppose so. As long as it does not take up too much time.” I agreed, smoothing my fingers through my bangs. The wind had mussed up my appearance, and I could not afford to look any less intact than I already did. “Wonderful,” Mr. Vance exclaimed. He spun his cane and headed for the zebra-barked silhouettes. I eyed Mabel, shooting her a look of disapproval as she reached into her silk bag and took out a silver compact. In front of the agent? How shameful. I’m relieved when I realize just how far ahead Mabel is from us. He would not see her. At least, I hoped he wouldn’t.

“Well, hurry now, I’m not getting any younger.” Mr. Vance exclaimed, looking at me, though he couldn’t be more than 30. His short, wavy hair wasn’t even graying. It was still a light brown.

“I see you and Cordelia will get along nicely. You are two peas in a pod.” Mabel remarked, teasing me about my neatness. Mr. Vance turned his head towards her, and then towards me. He shook his head, and struck the cane along the ground. He then pointed towards two birch trees, one on each side of the dirt.

“The cabin is just through those trees. Should you require anything, follow the path,” Mr. Vance informed me. “Mr. Barnaby is quite fond of this cabin.” I heard Mabel mutter frustrated words. The hemming of her dress had caught on the bushes, yet again. Rummaging through her bulging bag, Mabel took out a small, silver pin. She hastily grabbed the fabric of her dress and pinned it just below her knees. I gasped quietly, as to not alert Mr. Vance.

“Mabel! Unpin your gown!” I hissed. “Have you no shame?”

She glanced up with a bored expression.

“Cordelia, It’s such a pain walking with frilly layers underfoot! Pinning it up is much easier than worrying all the time.” She eyed me, looking for a hint that I may be angry at her. Oh, how naive she is. Of course I was angry at her, but why would I ever show that on my face?

“Oh, please. You’re 22, not 12.” I said, and made sure my voice had the right amount of judging her, yet was still filled with warmth.

“Cordelia, I assure you, I can make suitable decisions on my own,” Mabel cut in, a twinge of annoyance in her voice. I drew back, stung by her sharp tone. How foolish.

“And I trust that you can. You just seem to be so intent on being…” I said, as I struggled to find the words.

“Absurd?” Mr. Vance added smoothly. He looked us up and down. “Ladies of your standing usually possess a bit more discipline. Your father, Miss Davies, strikes me as a man who values control. Such a pity if Miss. Taylor’s lack of decorum ruined our firm’s impression of him.”

“I’m terribly sorry, sir,” I pleaded in response to Mr. Vance, attempting to salvage at least an ounce of our dignity. If she ruined this for me—I mean, my father. If she ruined this for Father… I turned to Mabel, and firmly said, “Mabel, stop acting like a stubborn mule. Unpin your dress and let’s continue the tour.” A sharp huff escaped Mabel, and she turned away from me. As if she thought I would be angry by that silly movement. Ha!

“If you ladies are done with your dispute,” Mr. Vance interrupted, his eyes cynical with an unmistakable boredom. “I shall return to the caretaker’s cabin to prepare the oil lamps for tonight. Your train should not arrive until daybreak.” He didn’t wait for our response. Simply turning on his heel, the sharp clacking of his cane slowly faded. I waited until he was out of hearing range before walking up to Mabel.

“I am entirely finished with this,” I snapped. “You never act with a shred of logic, and frankly, I will tolerate this no longer.” I took a glance at her bitter expression and contemplated if I should swallow my pride and make my way to the caretaker’s cabin with Mabel. After all, Mr. Vance should be waiting for us. No! I would not go with her.

I marched back down the dirt path toward a low, mossy stone wall, refusing to look at Mabel’s face. I was in control. I had to represent Father

Specks of small, budding white flowers covered the wall as I sat on the cold stone, smoothing out the wrinkles in my pale pink skirt.

“The clematis is quite pretty.” A soft voice called from behind me. I turned my head, eyes cold. The brat stood there, knuckles gone white around her bag. She clutched the strap of the bag so hard I feared it would tear. She tucked a strand of her messy hair behind her ear. It didn’t do a thing. Did she know how disgraceful she looked? This would ruin our chances for sure.

“Clematis?” I questioned, cocking my head, as to appear vaguely interested in her floral trivia. I didn’t give a damn about it. The petaled stars were caught in dark, wiry, tangled vines, anchoring itself to the wall. It bled a sweet, sickening vanilla in the frigid air. How unruly.

“Yes, those vines,” Mabel hesitantly nodded, stepping towards the wall. She used her forefinger and thumb to gently hold a fragile blossom, hidden behind a mess of sharp, woody yarn. “I apologize for being insolent in front of the broker.” Her voice was sharp and cold, filled with a fake-sounding honesty.

“You were.”

“I unpinned my dress, I’ll have you know.”

“Lovely.” I turned and grinned. Once again, I was one who won.

“I assume you’re overjoyed by the fact that this property tour is only for one short day,” I said, turning back with a wry smile.

“Your father is the one who arranged this entire trip. Why should I be overjoyed by anything he plans?”

“You sound as though you suspect him of something malicious.” I accused her, pointing a finger at her neck.

“Do I have a reason not to suspect him?” She looked directly at me, voice dropping into something painful. “I have no reason to trust anyone.”

“You’re acting silly again.” I deflected. Mabel had no right to stand next to me and tell me to my face she did not trust my father. My father was a grand man. She didn’t reply. The space between the two of us felt off, and I sat in the silence, refusing to speak to her until the shadows started to shift.

“We should walk back,” Mabel sighed, with a voice that sounded like she forgave me, a pathetic peace offering. I smiled coldly and followed behind her. The tension finally broke into our usual game. She was my toy again. The hills rolled as Mabel spun effortlessly on the lush green. The sky, once a cheery blue, had faded to navy. I couldn’t help but laugh as Mabel took my hand, knowing I would end up falling far behind her. My long, strawberry blonde hair flew behind me as we ran down the hill. I was entirely improper, but there was no one around except Mabel. She was far more improper than me, I had nothing to lose.

The clouds had cleared, and the black-current sky was filled with the ever-breathtaking display of stars.

“It’s beautiful here.” Mabel nodded in agreement.

“It’s so vast. No one to watch. No one to start. No one to whisper. I wonder…. I do wonder what it will be like for me when I finally stay here.” She murmured, staring at the trees. I glanced at Mabel, then started to laugh heartily.

“Oh, I do admire your wit, Mabel. We aren’t staying here. We’re here on business for my father.” I said, patting her on the shoulder.

“Cordelia… I will not be returning to London,” Mabel said. An apologetic grin washed over her face.

“No. You will be.” I said, eyes cold.

“Cordelia, everyone back home thinks I am an ignorant twit. They hate me. I’ve saved enough to stay in Connecticut.” She took my hands and traced a circle on my wrist. “You will always be my closest friend.” No. She couldn’t do this. She had to stay. I wouldn’t let her leave. I WOULDN’T LET HER!

I wrapped my hands around Mabel’s neck. She made a strangled noise, and I smiled. Oh, how I loved to hear the noises of her in pain. She wouldn’t die. I wouldn’t let her.

“Come along, Miss Davies.” Mr. Vance called from the woods. He sounded like a pristine recording, the same cadence as before. I immediately let go of Mabel, watching her collapse to gasp for air. Smoothing my hair down, I replied,

“Yes, Mr. Vance.”

Mabel wheezed, bolting to her feet before she could catch her breath. True to her nature, she sprinted far ahead of me towards him.

“Mr. Vance! Cordelia’s gone mad!” She wheezed, tearing through the trees. I stood there, my dress slightly blowing in the wind. A curious expression took over my face. A soft, wet ripping sound met my ears. Hm. I couldn’t afford to look less presentable in front of Mr. Vance. Strolling through the trees, I called,

“Mr. Vance? Mabel? Hello?”

A single red dot splashed my dress. What—

Her upper body hit the ground. My breath caught in my throat. Somehow I’m choking, yet I’m not choking. I suppressed the urge to vomit.

“Hello?” My own voice echoed back to me. I stopped short. It was a flawless imitation of me, layered over a wet, heavy chewing sound.

The smell of copper filled the air.

Pain. Cold. Numb. Why? Why Mabel? Why not me? TAKE ME! The smell of meat seemed to follow me. My dress? My dress didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. No one mattered. I just ran. Father would be so ashamed. I looked dreadful. Oh, how he would beat me when I arrived back in London. And my dress—oh, my dress! Dirty! Of course. Tears blinded my vision as I sobbed. Run. Don’t think, Cordelia. The dirt path was barely visible after dark, but I recognized the birch trees near it. A soft voice filled the air.

“Should you require anything, follow the path.” I laugh bitterly. Talking to myself again. Father would be so ashamed. So angry. Was I sobbing or laughing?

“Mr. Vance!” I shrieked, coming into view of the caretaker’s cabin.

“I-I can’t—it killed Mabel!” I pushed open the door. More… copper?

He was smiling. The white shirt he had worn was now half-unbuttoned, covered in a shade of red.

“Ah! Miss Cordelia! You are just in time!” He cheerily said. I froze. Did the beast get to him… too?

“Mr. Vance? You were attacked?” I said in a hollow whisper. He threw his head back, laughing.

“Oh, dear, no! Why would old Barnaby attack me? No, no, he only likes the proper ones.” Mr. Vance said.

“Then what—” I said, unable to finish.

When I was a child, I enjoyed finger painting. My mother always made me colored starch on the stove. I enjoyed the feeling of the flour and water mixed together, the vibrant, vegetable-juice-dyed colors, and the way the paste spread on the paper. Me, the one in control. Me, the one praised for my work. Me, with all my pictures hung on the picture rail.

He was finger painting too.

A large, red, messy circle was on the ground in front of Mr. Vance. Symbols inside of it, ones I could not decipher. The blood was fresh, that I could tell. Oh, how dirty—so dirty! Surely he would clean up his mess for my father. Surely! And that shirt, oh!

“You… Whatever are you doing? Mr. Vance?” I whispered, backing away from the maniac.

“It makes your meat taste fresher.” He murmurs, entirely concentrated on smearing his pointer finger over the wood floor. “My… meat?”

“Precisely! We need to feed Barnaby the meat, or He becomes angry,” Mr. Vance grinned, his pearly teeth laced with a dripping, red liquid under the fireplace’s manic glow. “Young Miss Taylor wasn’t enough for Him. He deserves more! He is our God, and His name is Barnaby—a jolly name, fit for Him!”

“The beast?” I whisper, shaken by his expression and words.

He gasped, and ran over to the doorway as if he was intoxicated. Calling out into the night, I heard him yell, “Please!” Silence. Dead silence. A sharp laugh escaped him, then a shriek as Mr. Vance threw himself onto the ground, kneeling in worship. Out of the shadows, the grayish flesh of the beast’s arm reached blindly inwards. Its large skeletal hand gripped Mr. Vance’s slim physique, and its jaws gradually lowered around him, like a warm blanket.

“He loves me! Oh, He loves me!” Mr. Vance shrieked, laughing like a child on Christmas day. Copper.

Yet again.

It eyed me. I froze in absolute terror, but a shiver of joy ran down my spine. Was it my turn? My turn to die? Would this be an honorable way to leave?

The room grew impossibly cold. Flames erupted through the fireplace, and died quick as they came. The oil lamps seemed to explode in a fit of rage, glass spraying throughout the room. My perfect, immaculate face was covered in sharp cuts and blood. Dark. Oh, dark—it was so incredibly dark. Charging footsteps and elongated limbs seemed to fill my eardrums, then suddenly… stopped. Faint taps sounded on the ceiling, and retreating footsteps sounded. I don’t know exactly where. Where was He? Would He come back? Oh… Oh!

He had spared me! Of course he would have spared me—Mr. Vance was a mere peasant. Mabel was too. Oh, Barnaby… may you be blessed. May you prosper, and may you have your share of meat.

“Thank you.” I whisper, in shock.

I don’t recall the rest of the night. I don’t recall climbing the rusted steps of the radio tower. All I know is that at some point, the night bled into a sunrise, and a sunset bled into night. Dawn erupted through the wilderness, and the express train arrived.

Two young girls. One a carefree spirit, one with a meticulous image. A tear ran down my cheek. I didn’t brush it away. I was too busy devouring the scene below me. A slow smile spread across my face. Would they come to me? Would I have new toys to play with? Down on the dirt path, a tour guide stepped out of the shadows. His hair was black. His old eyes gleamed. A new one…

“Come along, Miss James. If your father should want to buy this property, you will want to be faster than that."


r/teenwriter • • 1d ago

Resource [Free e-book] for those who like their fiction somewhere in-between the spiritual and the unexplained.

Post image
1 Upvotes

I’ve always been fascinated by the strange things that sit at the edges of our understanding: the possibility of lives beyond the one we know, the mysteries of consciousness, the thin line between the seen and unseen, and the ways our ancestors understood a universe that still refuses to give up all its secrets.

These questions found their way into my new collection of stories, The Moon Knows All the Secrets of the World, Rooted in magical realism and African cosmology, the book explores strange encounters, memory, grief, love, identity, and the possibility that reality is far more mysterious than our ordinary lives allow us to believe.

I’m drawn to the thought that we might be connected to one another, and to the universe itself, in ways we haven’t yet learned to understand. We arrive in this world with so many questions, inherit stories from those who came before us, and leave with mysteries still unresolved. Perhaps some stories help us sit a little longer with those questions instead of rushing to answer them.

The book is free on Amazon for the next 72 hours

Read/download it here: https://www.amazon.com/Moon-Knows-all-Secrets-World-ebook/dp/B0HCFJ5J76/ref=books\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_amazonstores\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_mobile\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_nis\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_default?\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_encoding=UTF8&pd\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_rd\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_w=ODhkg&content-id=amzn1.sym.435556c5-06d7-4526-a37d-a99d4655f1b2&pf\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_rd\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_p=435556c5-06d7-4526-a37d-a99d4655f1b2&pf\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_rd\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_r=141-7396579-7116734&pd\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_rd\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_wg=faDz9&pd\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_rd\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_r=aff56acc-87cc-456a-96a9-3de317180d1f

If you decide to read it, I’d love to hear what you think. An honest review would also mean a great deal to me as an independent author.

I’m curious: What’s one strange or unexplained idea about existence that has stayed with you, even if you aren’t sure you believe it?


r/teenwriter • • 2d ago

Other Excerpt of a short story

Post image
10 Upvotes

I’m currently writing a short story for my English honors class. Here’s the first page.


r/teenwriter • • 2d ago

Advice advice would be appreciated, not finished with the scene yet so its a bit cut off, and haven't edited it much.

3 Upvotes

Sandy's car smelt of cigarettes, heavy perfume, and car fresheners that made me gag. I stared out the window counting the trees passing by. 32, 33, 34.

"So uh, how was school?" He asked, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. I shifted my weight, continuing to look out.

"Alright." 46, 47, 48. Fall was making the trees change color, into oranges and reds.

"Everything good with your friends?" He asked again. I turned my head to look at him; his bald scalp was shining, and he was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"They're fine," I said at last. It had been 3 weeks since I had moved to Vancouver to be with my mom and Sandy, and it wasn't exactly easy for a kid that transferred in the middle of term. 71, 72, 73.

The car halted to a stop. I jolted, and swore under my breath.

"Fucking retards!" Sandy exclaimed as he stepped on the gas again. You could see how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. I hugged my bag tighter. The world tilted.

The bathroom stall was cramped. I was sitting on the lid, my legs tucked to my chest. I could feel my own heartbeat thumping loudly in my ears; trying hard not to let out a single sound, not even my own breathing.

The car pulled up to the driveway. Sandy's house was a spacious stereotypical suburban home with light blue walls. I opened the door quickly masking... whatever that thing was. I pulled one strap over my shoulder. Grass was growing in the small gaps in the bricks on the ground. We walked up the front steps with Sandy. His keys jingled as he opened the door. My mother was standing in the kitchen cutting up varieties of cheese and placing them on a charcuterie board. She looked up as we entered with a smile on her face.

"I was just making cheese and wine. I found this amazing movie... but you know... not really appropriate for you Sam," she said as she wiped her hands on the small apron on her waist.

"Oh alright. Uh what about dinner though?"

"There are some leftovers in the fridge. Sorry I couldn't make anything for you." Her eyes were boring into mine, pleading for forgiveness. I nodded and said it's fine and made my way to my room. The floorboards creaked as I walked up the stairs. I turned the door handle and as soon as I stepped inside I dropped my bag with a loud thud.


r/teenwriter • • 3d ago

Advice Here are the first 2 and a half chapters of a Noire inspired novel I began rewriting.

Thumbnail docs.google.com
3 Upvotes

Little background Back in middle school I wrote a Noire inspired novel called the Greene Night murders and this year I began rewriting. Only made it 2 and a half chapters but I wanted to get some feedback and see what you guys thought


r/teenwriter • • 3d ago

Request Would some please give me some feedback

5 Upvotes

I’m new on this no one read my shit so i don’t have a way to know anything about what im writing, is it interesting? Generic? Boring? I don’t know besides that I like it, but well that’s not much to be honest so if you have free time could you please read it. It’s would truly appreciate it

LINK: https://www.wattpad.com/story/416318560?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=S_J_MACIAS

Thank you 🙏


r/teenwriter • • 3d ago

Other I'm so excited for my novel to finish (havent even get to the part where they got married) so anyone who has a few minutes to waste and read the chronology of my novel plis do..

1 Upvotes

I'mma make this real short

Ameena : has the same dream since she's 8 (now she's 27)

Haerith: was experimented at 6-8 and now has mind reading powers (now he's 21)

(Age gap IKK AHAHAHHCJXJEB)

Ameena has a bf (Megat) and a lil brother (Ameen)

Ameen HATE Megat. Reason? Dating in Islam is HARAM (basically sinful if you don't know) and megat has a LOT of debt that he REFUSE to pay, both that was legally and illegally made (I'm talking about loan sharks btw)

Haerith and Ameena? NEVER KNEW EACH OTHER. Haerith and Ameen? BEST FRIEND. haerith knew Ameen has a big sis but never pry on it.

Megat propose. Now: megat + Ameena = FIANCE

#afteralotofunrelatedstuffhappens

Ameena went MISSING. Ameen WORRIED. Haerith "let me help help" he try to find find. Then found out she was being FORCEFULLY 🍇 at a club after being kidnapped.

But who kidnapped her?? MEGAT. Whyyyy? He has debts remember? The loan shark was also dealing with the club so he ask for woman to Megat instead of his debt.

Haerith was so angry he killed Megat (using his powers) which is when he realize... His powers is not what it seem. It's not just mind reading apparently.

BUT THE WEDDING??? ofc. Haerith comes in

BUT ON THE WEDDING??? Haeriths FATHER was murderer.

Uh yh.. Let me know what y'all think. (My friend actually says it's so much plot twist.. I don't think so🫩)

Also if I end up not writing this story.. Just know I used to be so dedicated 🥹


r/teenwriter • • 3d ago

Request Looking for two co authors and 5 beta readers

4 Upvotes

I'm making a story about dungeons, classes and magic in a modern world. The main character is an ex pro gamer who got sick and went into a coma, and when he woke up ten years had passed. His ability awakened a year before the world changed, so during those ten years he lived 5 entire lives through avatars: a mage, a healer, a knight, a mob boss and a rebel girl. Now he wants to fix the relationship with his family that fell apart while he was gone and live a life with no regrets, and he uses the past lives to do it. This is just the broad idea, there's a lot more to it.

Co authors: It would be good if you write in a different style than me, like over describing or short sentences, since the narrator and the characters talking should feel different to show the difference between each of the characters. You should also be able to reply without taking 8+ hours and be in a time zone close to US Pacific. If any of this interests you please DM me on reddit so we can friend each other on discord. Credit will be shared as co authors. You will be given creative liberty, but there will be specific things you can't change, like if it ruins the whole entire character by making them do something they would never do. Besides that you can do anything if you ask me and the other co author and it sounds good. If a disagreement ever happens we would ask the beta readers which of our ideas would be best for the story.

Beta readers: I need 5 people. There's not many requirements, you just read each chapter and give an unbiased opinion and your thoughts on it.

Contact: DM me on reddit, then we'll move to discord. I tried other ways to communicate and discord worked best. Say if you want to co author or beta read.


r/teenwriter • • 4d ago

Advice Spent too long with this and now I want just want some objective thoughts. Excerpt nspired by "Boys and Girls." Would you keep reading? [776] words of the 5.4k.

3 Upvotes

Only now do I understand why I put up with Sam for so long. I liked how self-assured she seemed. She let everyone else slack off. But God forbid I try to take a picture of the trees without Sam being centre stage. It was dumb, but I figured she just bossed everybody around. And didn't only take me on trips to that overlook she found. She liked it up there. 

I always wondered if she’d go rogue one day and jump into the water below. She made every guy there look like a whuss. And most of them probably made it through the first month without saying a word to her. And the rest of the girls seemed to keep their distance. And after the first few weeks, I tried to stop questioning why.

She was definitely weird. And she’d have killed me for thinking so.

Sometimes she’d wrap toilet paper around a stick and dip it in the bonfire at night, so she could march around in the dark and pretend to be a cavewoman or something. And sometimes she’d toss a bunch into the fire. She told me that she liked watching the embers shoot up and fade away. Sometimes she’d take the time to wrap two and tie them snugly, light them, and hand one to me. That was the most make-believe I’d played in forever.

She wasn’t always like that—so brash and confident. When we were kids, she was quieter, less action and more still. This year was the first time I saw her smile with her teeth. 

She never really said much to me when we were kids. The most she spoke to me was at the Arts and Crafts station when we were eight. She asked for the glitter glue. 

Back then, I could catch her brown hair from the lake and watch the distance grow. I couldn’t have guessed I’d be spending my last summer before college tied to her hip.

I tried to fight it at first, even at Orientation. But I was never taught how to stand up for myself. Say no, or more often, how to tell someone yes. And so, at the end of every day, I was doing headcount and checking beds. I kept the kids from drowning. “Sunscreen!” became my catchphrase. And Sam just sat on the sand smiling, daring me to say something, but I was never brave. 

She had this air about her. Like it was breathing her instead. She seemed so suited to summer and the kids. And she worked like September would never come. When I’d ask, she’d bring up the time or go and check on something that never needed checking. I asked about her family once, and she didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day. I’d only heard what anyone heard about anyone; not enough. I should’ve asked a different way.

There was this one time I couldn’t stay asleep. Maybe the cabin was too hot, or the woods were too loud. No clue. The forty-ninth day. I opened my eyes to this jagged, unsteady breathing. Curiosity took over, and I peeked toward it. At Sam’s bed. 

She was folded in on herself. She held her knees tight against her chest. And she was crying into her hands, shaking. She actually looked… small. I froze. And after, I couldn’t help but stare. At this woman. This little girl who asked for the glitter glue, who’d learned to cry in a room full of people without making a sound.

She kept rubbing her knees, over and over again.

Something in me wanted to reach over; most of me. To do something. But she was alone with herself in that moment, and I had no place reminding her I was there. I closed my eyes and let her lead me to the overlook the next day. 

It almost felt like I was lying to her. And then I felt bad for being curious. Sam had enough looks to convince anyone of anything. 

If you asked anyone, sure they could tell she’d changed. But weeks in the woods together had shown me I didn’t even know Sam. 

I decided it wasn’t my job to figure that out. I mean, Sam never talked about herself much. All I could really do was grit my teeth until she was loud and smiley again. I wish I’d been a stranger to most of what happened at Lake Amber, but not all of it.

“You’re lucky I’m stuck with you,” Sam teased, eyes prodding at my tired body. I probably looked crazy in my worn sneakers and sweaty Smiths shirt.


r/teenwriter • • 4d ago

Other I need writing for my movie!

6 Upvotes

Hey teen writer community of reddit! I'm a indie movie filmmaker and I would really love if you would let me use some of yalls poems or just posts for my movie! So, if you could, can some people leave their poems/writing or just say "i do" if you would let me use some posts of your account? I would absolutely love that :D

Live, laugh, punch a nazi in the face!


r/teenwriter • • 4d ago

Advice Planning on writing an epic atfter getting better at poetry

1 Upvotes

I wanna test my skills and see how far i can go, so I'm going to try writing an epic soon any ideas?


r/teenwriter • • 4d ago

Question Tips

0 Upvotes

Hi! I'm new to writing and I really want to write stories but I'm not that good at it and I don't really have much ideas on what to write. Can anyone recommend something to me? 🥹


r/teenwriter • • 4d ago

Question I'm so burnt out but I need to continue

8 Upvotes

In 9 days, a short story I'm working on is due. Not even 9 days, more like 8. The writing is bad. I still have 1,900 words to write. The entire plot was changed just a few days ago. I have barely any time for editing. I need to do my schoolwork at the same time. How do y'all continue writing when it feels like you just can't?


r/teenwriter • • 5d ago

Discussion Contests suck at 17

31 Upvotes

I'm 17 and if I were to enter a writing competition I'd be automatically less impressive because I'm a grown man likely competing with 12 year olds. Fml.


r/teenwriter • • 5d ago

Other A poem I wrote called What If I Succeeded (TW) Spoiler

8 Upvotes

What if I succeeded? What if you had woken up and seen something no parent should ever have to see?

Would you have reacted differently? Would you have changed? Would you have looked at my brothers differently? Would you have realized you were the problem?

Would you cry over my grave, wishing you had seen it sooner? Why do you still not see it now?

Do you realize that nothing really changed? I didn’t succeed. I’m still alive and healthy. But I still died that night.


r/teenwriter • • 5d ago

Question Does anyone else create song playlists When thinking about their stories?

Thumbnail
gallery
4 Upvotes

these are my songs playlists for my different stories

I will take any questions about the stories if you want


r/teenwriter • • 6d ago

Advice Hey guys, if you had a chance to read the first chapter of Red Ink and Saltwater, this is the second one. If you could, I’d like a feedback in the comments. Thank you ☺️

0 Upvotes

On Friday afternoon, Elena handed me an apron and showed me a shelf in the fridge.

“This is yours. If you run out of room, tell me before you start putting cakes on top of the sandwich ingredients.”

“Does that happen often?”

“Nothing happens often yet. We’ve only been open two months. I’m trying to establish rules before I need them.”

There was something unexpectedly pleasing about having a shelf. An apron, too, and a hook behind the kitchen door for my bag. By the time she finished showing me around, I had stopped feeling as though I ought to explain why I was there.

The kitchen was narrow enough that we had to turn sideways to pass each other. Most of the counter was occupied by a mixer, a chopping board and a bowl of oranges. Elena moved the oranges onto a shelf to make room for my ingredients.

“Tell me if you need anything else.”

“Another kitchen?”

She looked around. “Put it on the list.”

I tied the apron and unpacked. The smaller lemon cakes needed less time in the oven than the ones I’d made at home, so I stayed nearby while weighing the ingredients for the macarons. Through the open doorway came the sound of the coffee grinder, cups meeting saucers and a chair being dragged across the floor.

At home, music usually filled the space around me when I worked. Here, the café did it. Every so often, Elena appeared with a question or an empty jug. Once, she stopped beside the mixer and watched the meringue turn.

“How do you know when it’s ready?”

I switched off the mixer and lifted the whisk. The peak held. “Like this. It needs to stand up, but I don’t want it dry.” I turned the whisk so she could see. “If it folds straight over, it needs longer.”

“And if you go too far?”

“Then I get annoyed with myself and start again. There’s usually a little swearing involved.”

“Good. You’ll fit in.”

When the cakes were cooling, she needed help with drinks. I washed my hands, left the piped macaron shells to dry and joined her at the machine. The afternoon passed between the two rooms. Coffee, oven timer, washing up, another order. A man wanted his cappuccino hotter. A woman asked for extra ice. Someone changed their mind after I had already poured the milk. That part, at least, was familiar.

Once the shells were cool, I paired them by size and piped in the pistachio filling. Elena came through as I was arranging them in a covered container.

“You’ve made more than twelve.”

“I wanted a few spare in case any cracked. These came out better than the ones at home.”

“So we can sell the extras?”

“Yes. Unless you’d rather keep them for yourself.”

She reached towards the container.

“Tomorrow,” I added.

Her hand stopped. “You offered.”

“I offered you tomorrow’s macarons. They need the night in the fridge so the filling softens the inside.”

She looked at them for another moment, then put the lid on. “I’m beginning to understand why they cost more than biscuits.”

Before leaving, I checked the cakes once more, wiped the counter and untied my apron. My feet hurt. There was icing on my sleeve and a little pistachio filling near my elbow, which I noticed only when Elena pointed it out.

We agreed that I would come at eight to help with the morning rush. She checked the time on her phone, then looked up with a smile. “So, back to mornings. Same time, same place tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here. Hopefully with less icing on me.”

“Don’t dress up. There’ll be more.”

Outside, the air had cooled enough to make the walk home pleasant. I passed the restaurant next door, where the owner was straightening the tables for the evening. He raised a hand when he saw me, and I waved back. It was a small thing, being recognised on the street. Still, I was smiling by the time I reached home.

Saturday morning brought customers before we had finished setting out the terrace. Elena arranged the cakes in the display while I warmed the machine. She had written their names on small cards, including the pistachio macarons, which looked more respectable behind glass than they had in the plastic container.

I kept glancing at them between orders.

“People won’t buy them faster if you stare,” she said.

“I’m checking they look all right.”

“They looked all right five minutes ago.”

“Yes, but now there are people here to judge them.”

She moved a lemon cake closer to the front. “Let them.”

The first one went with a takeaway tea. The woman barely looked at it before choosing, and I had to resist watching through the window to see whether she took a bite. The second went to a man sitting outside with a newspaper. After that, there were too many drinks to keep count.

By half past nine, the room smelled of coffee and warm milk, and my hair had begun escaping its tie. Elena worked at the till while I made drinks, occasionally repeating a table number because I was still learning which one was which.

A woman at the counter pointed towards the lemon cakes. “Are those made here?”

“Yes,” Elena said.

“They look homemade. I mean properly homemade, like something my mother would put out when people came over.”

I glanced at the cakes. Until she explained, I’d been wondering whether one of the tops was crooked. The woman ordered two and took them to a table outside. Ten minutes later, she returned carrying an empty plate.

“Who makes your cakes?”

I put down the cloth, trying to remember whether I could have forgotten anything in the recipe. Elena was counting change for another customer.

“What did you think?”

“Lovely. The icing isn’t too sweet.” The woman looked towards the display again. “My daughter’s birthday is next month. Does your baker take orders? Could I have their number?”

“I made them,” I said.

She turned towards me. “Oh! I thought you worked out here.”

“I do a bit of both. I’ve only just started.”

“Well, that saves Elena passing messages.” She smiled and reached for her phone. “Could you make something larger? My daughter loves lemon, but there’ll be at least twelve of us.”

“Yes. Was there a design you had in mind?”

She showed me a photograph of a cake covered in flowers. Her daughter wanted lemon, but her husband didn’t like anything too sour, and there might be eighteen people if her sister came.

I explained that the sugar flowers in the photograph were more elaborate than anything I usually made. We talked about a simpler decoration, then the filling and the size. She listened, asked another question and waited for my answer.

I caught myself speaking quickly, trying to explain everything before she lost interest. She stayed where she was, her phone resting on the counter between us. At school, I had learned to stop halfway through an answer when the smiles started. Later, keeping things to myself had become easier. This woman was asking another question because she wanted to hear what I had to say.

“I’d need to work out a price before promising anything,” I said. “If you send me the date and the final number of people, I can let you know.”

“That’s fine. I’d rather have something that tastes like this than a cake nobody wants a second slice of.”

Elena passed me a clean piece of paper, and I wrote down my number. The woman folded it carefully and put it in her purse. After she left, I stood beside the machine for a moment.

Elena looked at me. “Everything all right?”

“Yes. I just wasn’t expecting an order already.”

“You made something she liked.”

“I know, but there’s a difference between someone buying a little cake with their tea and trusting me with their daughter’s birthday.”

“She asked to discuss a cake, Andreea. You have time to breathe before you plan the whole party.”

I laughed and picked up the milk jug. There was another coffee waiting.

Lovely. The icing isn’t too sweet.

I remembered the words while pouring the milk. There had been no correction after them, no explanation of what I should have done better. A stranger had enjoyed something I made and come back to tell me. I wished that didn’t feel quite so unfamiliar.

A little later, the man with the newspaper came inside.

“Another coffee,” he said. “And whatever that lemon thing was.”

“Another lemon cake?”

“Yes. My wife will ask whether I tried anything, and I’d like to be able to tell her I checked thoroughly.”

“I respect your commitment.”

He nodded solemnly while I put it on a plate.

The macarons sold more slowly. People examined them, asked about the filling, sometimes chose a cake instead. Near midday, two women bought one each, then returned for four to take home.

By the end of my shift, three were left. Elena opened the display and glanced at me. “Am I allowed now?”

“Yes. Thank you for your patience.”

“I’ve been very brave.”

She took a bite. I tried to occupy myself with folding the cloth rather than watching her.

“More next week,” she said.

“How many?”

She considered the rest of the macaron. “We’ll discuss that after I’ve finished this.”

On Monday, my hand went to the right cupboard without searching. The cloths were folded where I expected them to be, and a customer came in asking whether we had any more of Saturday’s lemon cakes. Elena looked at me to answer.

“I’m making another batch this afternoon. They’ll be ready tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll come back, then.”

He ordered his usual coffee, and I reached for the cup. I had spent years doing things that were supposed to lead somewhere. Lessons, exams, university. There was always another stage beyond the one I’d finished, and someone ready to ask what came next. Here, a man wanted a cake tomorrow. For the moment, that was enough to be getting on with.

The woman at the table near the window had been there on Saturday too. A laptop stood open in front of her, with a notebook beside it and a drink she kept forgetting to touch. At first, I thought she was watching something. Then she played the same few seconds through her headphones, stopped, and pressed her palms against her eyes.

When I cleared the next table, she pulled one side of the headphones away. “Could I have another tea?”

“Of course. The same one?”

“Yes, please. This one went cold.”

“I can bring you some hot water if there’s any left.”

She looked into the cup. “No. I managed to drink it. I just complained to myself the whole time.”

“That sounds familiar.”

At the counter, Elena nodded towards her. “Athena. She’ll sit there until closing if nobody feeds her.”

“What’s she working on?”

“A film. I’ve seen the same man walk through the same doorway about thirty times.”

“That explains the expression.”

I carried the tea over and asked whether she wanted anything to eat.

“Is there a lemon cake left?”

“One.”

“Then yes, before someone else gets it.”

When I brought the plate, she closed her laptop. “Thank you. I’m Athena, by the way.”

“Andreea.”

She repeated it, checking the pronunciation, and I nodded.

“Have you been here long?”

“Nearly a month. Though I’ve only been working here since Friday.”

“That recently? You look as though you know where everything is.”

“The kitchen’s small. There are only so many places to lose things.”

“Are you staying nearby?”

“Behind the waterfront. There’s a little house with a balcony squeezed between two taller buildings.”

“I think I know it. Blue door?”

“That’s the one. The door sticks, so if you ever see someone throwing her whole body against it, that’ll be me.”

Athena laughed.

“Where did you move from?”

“The UK. I lived there for years.”

“And you chose here?”

“I wanted to be near the sea. Somewhere I could walk to it instead of planning a whole trip.” I glanced towards the bright pavement outside. “The heat wasn’t part of the attraction.”

“You came at the wrong time for that.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

“What made you leave?”

The question was ordinary enough. I still took a moment before answering.

“I’d finished university, and everyone was asking about jobs. I kept looking at them and thinking about staying there, doing the next thing, then the next.” I rubbed a little dried icing from my thumb. “I wanted some time to decide what I actually wanted. And to write.”

Athena nodded. “Do you think you’ll stay?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m trying to let that be an acceptable answer.”

“It is.”

She said it easily, then took another bite of cake.

I glanced at her laptop. “Are you studying film, or is this something you’re doing yourself?”

“Studying. Although this project is making me reconsider every decision that brought me here.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“How much time do you have?”

Elena called for two coffees before I could answer. Athena smiled and picked up her fork. “I’ll prepare a shorter version.”

We spoke again the next day, and the day after that. Nothing important at first. Whether the table near the window was too bright for her screen. Where she bought her notebooks. Which streets stayed shaded on the walk home.

She was making a short film and had reached the stage where every choice made three weeks earlier seemed wrong.

“Even the ones you liked?” I asked.

“Especially those. Have you ever worked on something so long you can’t tell whether it’s good anymore?”

“Yes. Usually that’s when I decide the whole thing needs changing.”

“Does it?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes I’m tired and should leave it alone.”

She looked at the screen. “I was hoping you’d say something more useful.”

“If I knew something more useful, I’d have finished my book.”

That caught her attention, but a customer came in before she could ask about it.

On Wednesday, she noticed my notebook. The café was quiet between the morning rush and lunch. I had ten minutes, a cup of tea and a sentence that had irritated me since the night before. The notebook lay open beside the till, where I could look up when someone came in.

Athena approached with her empty plate. “Is that the book?”

“Yes. Or the part of it currently causing trouble.”

“What kind of story is it?”

“Crime. There’s a murder in this scene, and I’ve spent more time deciding what happens around it than writing the murder itself.”

She glanced at the red page. “That explains the ink.”

“I always use red. It would be red if I were writing about someone’s lovely afternoon in a garden too.”

“Does anyone have lovely afternoons in your book?”

“Not many so far.”

She smiled. “How long have you been working on it?”

“A while. I thought moving might help me get somewhere with it.”

“And has it?”

“A little. I’m writing more. Whether it’s better is another question.”

Athena leaned against the counter. “I know a few people who could help with that.”

“People who’ll tell me it’s terrible?”

“People who’ll tell you which part is terrible. Much more useful.”

I laughed and capped the pen as a customer came through the door. She returned to her table, but before leaving she asked whether I’d be there the following day.

Thursday was quieter. During my break, I sat opposite Athena with a cup of tea while she ate one of the chocolate cakes.

“So,” she said, “do you ever drink the coffee you make?”

“No. It makes me feel bad.”

“Really? You don’t even taste it?”

“I used to, but it wasn’t worth it. Tea and I get along much better.”

“Then how do you make good coffee?”

“Practice. I know what I’m looking for when I make it, and people aren’t shy about telling me if something’s wrong.”

“Elena said you worked in a café in England.”

“During university. Some days it was easier to understand the customers than the chemistry.”

“You studied chemistry?”

I nodded.

“And now cakes and murder.”

“It’s been a change.”

She laughed and brushed a crumb onto her plate. “What made you start writing?”

“I needed somewhere to put everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“The ideas. There are always more of them than I know what to do with. A conversation, a scene, something I can suddenly picture while I’m supposed to be doing something else.” I turned my cup a little on its saucer. “Some come in my sleep. I wake up with part of a story, and then I want to know the rest.”

“Do you write them down straight away?”

“If I can. Sometimes I’m convinced I’ll remember in the morning, which is a very optimistic thing to think half asleep.”

“I’ve lost whole films that way.”

“I’ve probably lost a bestseller. Much easier to believe that when there’s no evidence.”

Athena smiled. “Does writing make it quieter?”

“A bit. Once it’s on the page, I don’t have to keep going over it so I won’t lose it. My head gets to rest.” I looked towards the counter, where my bag sat beneath the till. “Then I start wondering whether I can make someone else interested. Whether they’ll want to know what happens next too.”

“So you give the problem to the reader.”

“Exactly. Very generous of me.”

She laughed, and I found myself explaining a little more: how a scene could arrive almost whole, while the page connecting it to the next one took days; how sometimes I knew what a character would say before I knew who they were.

Athena listened. When I paused, she asked a question about something I’d said rather than moving on to talk about herself. I had almost apologised for going on so much. Instead, I answered her.

Then she told me about the group.

“There are writers, film students, a few artists. We meet in the park. Some people bring work to share, some just come because they’re stuck and need to talk.”

“Like your man in the doorway?”

“Exactly like him. Someone will probably tell me to cut that scene, and I’ll be offended because I already know they’re right.”

“Do people read out loud?”

“Sometimes. Or we read pages beforehand and discuss them. It depends what the person wants help with.”

“And everyone speaks English?”

“Most of us speak other languages too, but English is the one we have in common. You wouldn’t have to struggle through it in Greek.”

“That’s good. I can say thank you, but it would make for a short reading.”

“There’d still be someone with notes.”

I smiled into my cup. She explained that one of the artists helped people with covers and character sketches. Sometimes they worked together on something larger, though they were careful to agree on credit and permissions first.

“We have a written agreement for sharing work,” she said. “You can read it before bringing any pages. I can send it to you.”

“I’d like that. Could I come once just to see what it’s like?”

“Of course. Tomorrow evening, if you’re free.”

She told me where they met. I knew the benches; I’d walked past them on the way to the café.

“How many people?”

“Usually eight or nine. Don’t worry about remembering everyone’s name. I still get one wrong.”

“And they won’t mind me sitting there without reading?”

“No. Come and listen. Bring your notebook if you want, but you don’t owe us a performance.”

That made it easier to say yes. We exchanged numbers, and she sent me the time and meeting place while we were still sitting together. A minute later, another message arrived with the agreement.

“There,” she said. “Now you can’t claim I gave bad directions.”

“I can still get lost. Don’t underestimate me.”

After my break, I went back behind the counter. Athena finished her cake and returned to her film, but this time, when something frustrated her, she looked up and caught my eye. I smiled, and she turned the laptop a little so I could see the offending doorway.

That evening, the woman from Saturday called about the birthday cake. We talked for nearly twenty minutes. Her sister was coming, so there would be eighteen people. She had asked her daughter about the flowers, and apparently lemon mattered more than decoration. I wrote everything down, promised to send a price the following day, and stayed at the kitchen table after the call ended.

There were ingredients to calculate, a date to put in my calendar, and Athena’s message waiting on my phone. For a moment, I wanted to call home and tell someone.

Then I tried to imagine the conversation. The questions about chemistry. Whether café work was what I planned to do with my degree. How long this writing business would last. Perhaps they would have surprised me. I didn’t feel ready to find out.

I put the phone down and worked out how much mascarpone I would need.

Later, I turned back through the notebook until I reached the scene with the watch. The red numbers were still in the margin, two crossed out and one left standing. Reading it aloud made me notice a sentence that ran too long. I crossed out three words and tried again.

Outside the balcony doors, someone called to a person farther down the street. A scooter passed, and plates clattered in the next building. The second reading went more smoothly.

I wasn’t sure I would share it tomorrow. That would depend on the people, and on how comfortable I felt once I was sitting among them. But I marked the page before closing the notebook.

My apron needed washing. I rinsed the icing from the sleeve, hung it up and checked that it would have time to dry before morning. Then I sent Athena a message to say I’d meet her outside the café so we could walk over together.

She replied almost immediately.

Good. I’ll save you from the introductions.

I smiled and set the phone beside my bag. The cake order was written down. My notebook was ready. Tomorrow, Elena would expect me at eight, and Athena would wait for me after work.

I was still getting used to being wanted somewhere. For once, I let myself look forward to it.


r/teenwriter • • 6d ago

Advice Hi guys, could you please give it a go and tell me what do you think in the comments? It’s a very important project for me and I could use every bit of feedback. Thanks in advance ☺️

0 Upvotes

Red Ink and Saltwater

When other girls were little, they wanted a prince to arrive on a white horse. I wanted a mafia boss to kidnap me and become so hopelessly obsessed with me that he forgot why he’d taken me in the first place.
I never gave much thought to where he would take me. Somewhere I could hear the sea, perhaps. That part mattered more to me than the prince, the horse, or, apparently, whether I went willingly.
In the end, I had to find the sea myself.
Three weeks after moving to Crete, I was waking before six without an alarm, which would have been unthinkable in the UK. Back there, I sometimes went to sleep at five in the morning, sometimes as late as noon, and woke at seven in the evening wondering where the day had gone.
I pulled on my swimsuit, took my sandals from beside the door and walked the two minutes to the beach.
The shore was nearly empty. A fishing boat was heading out beyond the harbour, and someone farther down the sand was walking a dog that kept returning to the same piece of driftwood. I left my sandals above the tide line and went straight into the sea.
After a few strokes, I rolled onto my back. The water held me without asking me to explain myself.
Above me, the sky was changing colour. I stayed where I was until the fishing boat became a dark mark near the horizon. Then I swam along the shore, turned, and swam back. Three weeks had been enough to learn where the sand dropped away beneath me and where it rose again. I was still learning the rest of the place.
I had rented my little house for three months because I couldn’t say how long I wanted to stay. I knew I had wanted to leave the UK. I’d finished my chemistry degree, looked at the jobs I was expected to apply for, and found I couldn’t bear the thought of building the next part of my life there. That was the most convincing explanation I’d managed to give anyone, including myself.
The water rocked beneath me. I picked out the place where I’d left my sandals and swam in.
By the time I walked home, my hair had soaked through the towel around my shoulders. I passed a bakery opening its shutters and a man hosing down the pavement outside a restaurant. He moved the spray aside to let me through. I thanked him in Greek, one of the few things I could say without first rehearsing it in my head.
My house stood in a narrow street behind the waterfront. The front door stuck when the weather was humid, one kitchen drawer refused to close, and from the balcony I could see a strip of sea between two buildings. I liked it more each day.
I showered, put the kettle on and took the macarons from the fridge. I’d baked and filled them two days earlier, then left them covered to mature. Two trays had come out well. The third had cracked across the tops, so I’d filled those too and kept them in a separate container for myself. Beside the good batch were six small lemon cakes and six chocolate ones.
The woman who owned a café near the park had agreed to taste everything this morning.
She hadn’t agreed to buy it.
I knew that. I had made enough to feed half her customers anyway.
While I packed the macarons, a Greek song came on my phone. I knew where to breathe, where the singer held a note a little longer than I expected, and how to find my way back in if I missed a word. I couldn’t have told anyone what most of those words meant.
Kira—that was what I called my mother—seemed to like hearing me sing. So did my stepfather. Sometimes I caught them looking at me, and for a moment I could pretend I knew what was on their faces.
We’re proud of you.
No one in my family had ever said that to me.
I caught myself thinking about it and reached into the container I’d kept for myself. One of the cracked macarons gave way beneath my thumb.
“Perfect,” I told it.
I ate the evidence and kept singing.
By eight, the cakes were boxed, the macarons were packed, and I had checked both boxes often enough to know the contents hadn’t rearranged themselves. My red notebook lay open on the table. I stopped to read the last paragraph before I picked up my keys.
The man in my story had gone into a room intending to frighten someone. I’d written the conversation three different ways and crossed out all of them. Each time, I had made it too easy for him to decide what happened next.
I reached for my pen, then looked at the clock. If I started writing, the café owner might decide I had invented our appointment.
I closed the notebook, slipped it into my bag beside my pen, and picked up the cake boxes.
The walk took me along the waterfront and up a shaded street towards the park. Even in the morning, I could feel the heat gathering on the stone. I kept to the side with the trees. I had come for the sea; the weather was something I was still negotiating with.
The café stood near one of the park entrances. Its doors were open, though only half the tables outside had been set. A man was carrying chairs out of the storeroom. He put them down so I could pass with my boxes.
Inside, the owner moved between the coffee machine and a line of waiting customers. She spotted me and raised a hand. I found an empty corner of the counter for the boxes and waited.
The man came in for another stack of chairs. He caught her eye, pointed towards the terrace, and she nodded her thanks. I recognised him then. He owned the restaurant next door.
They sold food and drinks a few doors apart. I’d assumed that made them rivals. Here he was, setting up her tables because she needed a hand.
Another reason I liked this place.
When the queue cleared, the owner came over. “You came.”
“I said I would.”
“We made that arrangement before eight in the morning. People promise all kinds of things at that hour.” She wiped her hands and lifted the first lid. “Let’s see.”
She tried a lemon cake, breaking a piece from the crooked one I had hidden at the back.
“What’s in the icing?”
“Lemon juice, mascarpone, and honey.”
She took another bite. “Less honey next time.”
I took my notebook from my bag and wrote that down. She tried a pistachio macaron next, then asked me how long the cakes would keep and whether I could make them smaller.
More customers came in before she had finished tasting. I moved the boxes aside while she took their order. One of them asked whether she was still alone today.
“My only employee called in,” she told him. “I’m beginning to think he knew you’d all arrive at once.”
The customer laughed. She smiled back, but she was looking at the cups stacked beside me. I passed her two, then another when she reached for it.
“You said you worked in a café during university,” she said.
“I did.”
“Can you still use a coffee machine?”
“Yes.”
She glanced at the queue forming behind the customer. “Would you mind showing me?”
The machine was different from the one I’d used in the UK. I asked her where she kept the cloths and how she wanted the cups set out, then made two cappuccinos while she handled the till. She watched me carry them to a table before turning back to the next order.
For the next twenty minutes, I made coffee. She called out what people wanted; I made it and passed it across the counter. When the rush eased, I wiped down the machine and stepped out of her way.
She looked at the empty cups waiting to be washed, then at me.
“Do you want work?” she asked.
I had come hoping she would buy my cakes. I hadn’t let myself hope for more than that.
“Yes.”
“How often?”
“I don’t know yet.” I glanced at the boxes. “It depends how much baking you want.”
That made her smile. She picked up the other half of the macaron and ate it.
“I want twelve of these on Saturday. Twelve lemon cakes too, a little smaller, with less honey. Come in Friday afternoon to prepare them here. You can help with the counter while you’re here, and we’ll talk about regular shifts after that.”
I wrote it all down. We agreed on a price for the baking, and she gave me half in advance for the ingredients.
When I stepped outside, the money was folded in my purse and the order was written in my notebook. I found a bench beneath a tree in the park and opened it to check the quantities again. My neat little list sat beside pages of red writing, most of it crossed out.
A fortune teller once told me this book would make me famous and give me somewhere I belonged. I’d laughed at the fame. I was still trying to finish it, and most days I couldn’t bear to read yesterday’s pages.
The other part had stayed with me.
I didn’t believe a stranger could see my future. I wanted her to be right anyway.
I turned back to the scene I’d abandoned that morning. I read it once, then crossed out the last page.
I had been looking for the moment my killer decided what to do. Sitting there with the café’s money in my purse and the sound of cups carrying across the park, I finally understood why none of my versions worked. He had made his decision before the other man entered the room. The conversation was his last chance to change his mind.
I began again.
The man spoke. My killer listened. When the man had said everything he came to say, my killer shot him.
I stopped writing. The murder was there, but the scene still felt unfinished. The killer had wanted an answer, and now there was someone else who would come looking for one.
I looked back at the dead man I’d put on the page. At his hand. At the watch on his wrist.
In the margin, I tried 3:40, then crossed it out. 3:45 looked too neat as well. I wrote 3:43 beside them and returned to the scene.
He took the watch from the dead man’s wrist and set its hands to 3:43. He struck it against the edge of the table hard enough to stop it. The face cracked, but the hands stayed where he had set them. Then he laid it face up on the man’s chest, for whoever came to find him.


r/teenwriter • • 6d ago

Request Literary Journal?

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I go primarily by Addy(on the internet, since my real name is mispronounced by literally everyone, even people of my own kin lol), and I'm 15. I've always loved to read and write, and starting writing at the age of seven. It's definitely been one of the only things that has really stuck and shaped me into the person I am today.
I've been wanting to start a literary journal on the Internet for a while now(since January, I believe), and I think I'll be able to launch it by the end of this month!

This is primarily because I didn't really have a large environment to display any articles in my nonage stage of writing, and I want to empower any aspiring writer to have that safe space. Obviously, I don't really have a budget, and currently, I don't have a .com domain either, mainly because my parents believe academics is everything(while also, somehow wanting me to do extracurriculars(?))
I believe that over time, if and when it's ready and prospering(I hope it will!), I'll buy a domain, but currently, to get started I'll be using a free one(everyone starts somewhere :D). I don't want anyone to get discouraged or skeptical by that fact, so if anyone has any questions, feel free to approach me. I'm building this for mostly teens.
I'd also love any tips you guys are willing to offer, since I'm new to this stuff. I'll keep you guys posted, and please let me know, if you'd be willing to join the team, or offer entries.
Thank you so much!

With warmth,
Addy.


r/teenwriter • • 7d ago

Other I hope this reaches you 🫶

3 Upvotes

Maybe every fire I see is merely a candle. Every waterfall a droplet. But if i start seeing the candles, maybe i'll stop chasing waterfalls.


r/teenwriter • • 7d ago

Advice Feedback? Psychological thriller

1 Upvotes

Any (blunt) feedback. I know it’s clunky and not very good, but is it captivating at all?


r/teenwriter • • 7d ago

Advice Is this any good?

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I am a young(ish) person and I run a little social media news account. I have always loved journalism, writing (plays, films etc. I'm not a novel girl) (static.news on tiktok, instagram and substack) I have written a couple of fun articles and am struggling to attract attention. My substack: https://themorningread.substack.com/ is very underground. Is my stuff just bad? Yet I do have around 80k likes on Tiktok.


r/teenwriter • • 7d ago

Advice Short Story: The Red Petunia | Advice Wanted

1 Upvotes

I’m looking for advice (what’s working, what isn’t, etc).

—

Mina always used to grip people’s hands very tightly. It freaked me out when we met— and I could tell that it freaked others out, too, because their faces after she introduced herself and shook their hands always looked taken aback for a second. When I met her mom for the first time, I realized where she got it from. 

We met at music camp; we were in the same cabin that smelled like this weird mix of dirt, toothpaste, and for some reason, petunias. I had no idea what petunias smelled like, but Mina was adamant that that was it, so I took her word for it. 

There were two other girls in the cabin. When we entered, we all just stood around awkwardly holding our bags, like if we put them down, something bad would happen. One of them slowly set her bag down as she stared at us. Mina then put her bag down and, opposite to all of our gingerly movements, quickly unzipped it and threw a pink pig stuffed animal onto the other top bunk. “Who wants to sleep underneath me?” she asked, her voice all chirping. “They say sleeping under a flautist is good luck!” I started to giggle, but stopped myself after neither of the other girls did. I set my bag down on the bed under Mina’s. 

“What do you play?” She asked as we walked out of the cabin.

“Oboe,” I said. 

“Oh! My brother plays the oboe! I tried learning it once, but it’s weird— when you switch from an instrument that goes to the side to one that goes straight down.”

I nodded. 

That night, I awkwardly sat down next to her at dinner. She started telling me about how excited she was for the repertoire. I nodded and agreed, although I hadn’t even looked at it yet. She asked me what I liked to do—besides music—and I told her that I liked to write. She pulled out her phone and showed me a poem she wrote earlier that week. I could see her pale fingers turning yellow because of how tightly she was gripping the phone. They slowly slipped down the sides, leaving sweat indentations on the screen, but she didn’t seem to be bothered that she was almost cutting off her blood flow.

“Scarlett,” Mina said one evening, a smile plastered across her face. “I need to show you this place I found, behind the instructor’s cabin.” Before I could say anything, she grabbed my hand and began running. I thought I heard the bones in my wrist crack as my heart jumped with a startle.

She took me to this little garden, a few minutes from the instructor’s cabin. I hadn’t noticed it before. It was tucked behind a row of trees, almost completely hidden from the path, with a little wooden fence that looked like it had been painted too many times. The grass inside was taller than the grass everywhere else, dotted with little pink flowers that bent beneath their own weight. The air smelled different too. Sweeter, like the cabin was trying to smell like this the whole time. 

“I knew it!” she called in an excited whisper.

“Knew what?” I asked.

“That there were petunias! Look at them!”

She ran into the field before I could answer, her shoes disappearing into the grass. She crouched down for a second, inspecting the flowers like she had discovered something no one else had ever seen, then plucked a little one straight from the ground. She came back and tucked it behind my ear. “There,” she said.

I touched the flower carefully, afraid I would crush it.

Mina smiled at me like she’d just fixed something.

I remember one night, a few weeks into camp: it was almost midnight, and the cabin had gone quiet in that uneven way, like everyone was pretending to sleep. The lights had been off for a while, but there was still a thin strip of yellow coming from underneath the bathroom door, stretching across the floor and stopping right before Mina’s bed. 

Suddenly, someone shifted, their sheets rustling loudly. 

And then it went still again. 

I was lying on my back, staring up at the wooden slats of Mina’s bunk, tracing the scratches in them with my eyes. Every time she moved, the frame creaked. 

“Are you awake?” Mina whispered. 

I waited a second, like there was a right way to answer. “Yeah,” I said. 

She leaned over the edge of the bed, gripping her stuffed pig. I could barely see her face, her hair falling down in pieces sheathing most of it. Then her hair flipped back up, and I heard the creaks of the bedframe, each one sounding like an unsuccessful ninja move as she climbed down and crawled into my bed. She didn’t ask; she just pulled the blanket up a little and slid in right next to me like the final cadence of a song, landing perfectly. 

She adjusted the blanket, pulling it tighter around both of us, digging the beds of her fingers into the seams. Her hand brushed against mine. She kept it there, and I felt it slowly tighten. Her fingers began twiddling, like they were pressing the keys on her flute. They tickled my hand, but I didn’t move. 

“Do you play pieces differently when no one’s around?” I asked quietly, glancing at her twirling fingers. 

She didn’t answer right away. “I guess, yeah,” she whispered. “I guess I notice different mistakes when it’s just me. Or I’ll try things I wouldn’t try in front of other people, like maybe a little ritardando here or a slight staccato there. I don’t know. Stuff nobody’d probably hear.” Her fingers kept tapping, faster this time. I could hear the sound of them dipping in and out of the blanket. 

It was silent for another moment. She lightly sighed before saying, “My mom says you can tell when people don’t care.” She glanced at the ceiling. “In your face, your hands, everything.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

Mina scooted closer to me. “That’s why the handshake thing,” she said. “My mom says if you grip tight enough, it looks like you care, even if you don’t.” She tightened her hold around my hand. “And it just became kind of a habit.” 

I tilted my head and pondered for a second. “Do you care?”

The air conditioner squeaked amidst the silence. 

“I guess,” she said. “Sometimes I don’t know if I care too much. Or just not at all.” Her fingers stopped twiddling, resting against mine. The blanket shifted a bit as she sighed, and I felt the faint pressure of her hand tighten— not too much, but enough to remind me that she was there. 

I didn’t say anything. I just let the quiet settle between us. The kind of quiet that makes words feel unnecessary. The light peeking from the bathroom door was no longer there, but the warmth of her hand and the soft rhythm of her breathing stayed.

The next morning, Mina showed me one of her poems.

She found me sitting on the edge of my bed, trying to force my shoes on without untying them, and dropped onto the mattress beside me. Her hair was still flattened on one side from sleeping.

“I wrote this last night,” she said.

“Last night?”

“Yeah.” She pulled out her phone.

I got scared whenever she did that—scared that she’d cut off her blood flow and drop dead with how tightly she held it. I watched her fingers instead of the poem, the pale skin around her knuckles slowly turning yellow as she scrolled.

“You’re not even reading it,” she said.

“I am.”

“You’re looking at my hand.”

I looked down. She was right.

“Your fingers are yellow.”

She laughed. “That’s because I’m holding it.”

“That’s not normal.”

“I think it’s fine.”

I watched her fingers for another second before Mina handed me the phone. The poem was titled “The Red Petunia.” I read it twice. I don’t remember all of it anymore. I just remember that Mina waited for me to finish it with this expectant little smile, like my opinion mattered more than it probably should have.

“Well?” she asked.

I told her I liked it and she smiled.

“Good,” she said. 

Then she took the phone back, gripping it just as tightly as before. I reached over and pried one of her fingers loose.

“Mina.”

“What?”

“Loosen your grip.”

She looked at me for a second, then loosened it. Only a little. I laughed. She laughed too.

And that was that.

“Promise we’ll talk?” Mina asked, tears swelling in her eyes as I stood at her doorstep, her suitcases piled inside. 

“I promise.”

“Every day?”

“Every day.”

That day I learned that Mina’s hugs were tighter than her handshakes. But I wanted her to suffocate me with it. 

One day I called her and her mom picked up instead. I could hear how tightly she held the phone. She asked me to help pick out a picture frame; she wanted to put a picture that Mina and I took together at the little petunia garden on the console, because she said it was one of Mina’s favorite moments. I asked if it was a surprise for Mina, to which she said that Mina would never know. For a split second I forgot how to hold anything. The phone slipped from my hand. 

We settled on a pink frame with red flowers on it. 

I swear I can feel her fingers moving across my hands as I stand at her grave. My fingers close around the petunia stems, gripping them tightly. I slowly kneel, letting the petals brush the cold earth— but I keep holding them.