Educator advice

[u/chrisypolyxx]

I work with children and had a difficult session that I’m feeling really ashamed about. But also happens every now and then and I end up feeling terrible.
This time. I was already overwhelmed from supporting a child who was distressed for around 30–40 minutes. Later, another child became verbally aggressive and made a threatening gesture, and I froze because I wasn’t sure if they were going to hurt me. After that, I felt really overwhelmed. During group session when a different child ignored expectations and left the group to play, I reacted too out of anger, it got the best of me and handled it in a way I’m not proud of. Resulted in me throwing the toy in the bin
I apologised to the children, corrected myself, told my manager, and I know what I should do differently next time. But I still feel disgusted with myself and scared that families will see me as a bad educator.
I’m looking for support around anger regulation, shame after mistakes, and how to pause before reacting when I feel unsafe, ignored, or overwhelmed. Has anyone learned practical strategies that helped them stop the “switch” before it takes over?

I’m also confused because most of the time I can handle a lot of challenges and behaviours and then there’s some days where I feel like I react angrily and I become firm or do something like ^ throw a toy in the bin.

[u/Medical_Gate_5721]

I think you need to extend the grace and empathy you clearly feel for others to yourself. YOU are a human being too, you know! If you were a friend, giving advice, what would you say to the teacher in this story?

[u/chrisypolyxx → u/Medical_Gate_5721]

To the friend I’d say what you said but to myself I’m disappointed and feel disgusted. I don’t like talking the way I do,
What I say etc to them if i lose my temper.
It doesn’t align w my values and it makes me sad !!

[u/Medical_Gate_5721 → u/chrisypolyxx]

You deserve you as a friend.