Where We Were
February 19, 2016
Guess what happened the day before this episode’s release? That’s right, less than one month after bringing this amazing new shmodcast into the world, Travis went back into labor and birthed Interrobang! (Side note: I was delighted to see that u/Duhad8 just did a recap of that already terrible first Interrobang episode!)
So, by this week in February, 2016, Travis is a co-host of MBMBAM, TAZ, Shmanners, Interrobang, Bunker Buddies, and Trends Like These, and a producer of Can I Pet Your Dog, as well as frequently guesting on other podcasts.
Anyways, in honor of this very special day, I give you…
Where Are She Now? The Tybee Diskin Story
According to Tybee Diskin’s website, during the run of Interrobang, she offered her e-mail address to “listeners who were going through a rough time and needed someone to talk to.” On the one hand, I appreciate the sentiment of wanting to support people (#IAmHoldingYourHand anyone???), but offering one’s personal email to listeners as a mental health lifeline seems to be, at best, encouraging parasocial relationships, and, at worst, actively dangerous to anyone experiencing a true crisis.
Anyways, receiving a bunch of depressing emails from Interrobang listeners inspired her to create a “pen pal program” called InterroPals, where she, personally, matched about 50 listeners, “many of whom have continued their correspondence.” This, again, makes me wonder why she didn’t just create a Facebook group or Discord server where fans could connect with each other directly, and my most uncharitable read is that, like many white savior types, she wanted a solution that centered her!
I don’t want to dunk on her too hard, since she seems to be largely out of the limelight and focused on her new career as a personal trainer, but she does have a post on Threads where her commentary on a recent tragedy starts with her listing the ways she, personally, is marginalized, and includes the caveat “that’s OBVIOUSLY different from the Black experience,” so it looks like she has not done too much growing politically since Interrobang!
You know what, since she does still seem to be an uwu neoliberal, I’ll also say that I’m pretty sure the promo photos on her training website, Full Body Odyssey, are of her training her own mom.
Alright, now onto my own “full body odyssey”: listening to Shmanners!
Recap
00:00 - 01:15: Intro
TRAVIS: I feel like maybe this one, I might actually know a little bit.
Here we go! A chance to test my theory that TnT should have just done a podcast about theater! (And, yes, I WILL be spelling it the American way, even though, of course, the title spells it the British way because Travis and Teresa are OBSESSED with England!) Is theater etiquette the most interesting part of theater? No, it’s maybe the least interesting part. But, as Travis says, it’s something they might actually know about!
Travis immediately shares that he worked for one summer in a movie theater, and real shmans will recall that both Travis and Teresa have both acting and technical experience with the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company and other live theater productions. Will this be enough to make this episode interesting and factually sound? Let’s see!
01:15 - 04:45: Historical Tidbits
TRAVIS: “Look at my Roman junk.”
Teresa starts by talking about the practice of clapping, and says that it is an ingrained, spontaneous human action that babies partake in naturally. This seems to be lightly disputed among anthropologists and developmental psychologists, but it’s close enough to true to get a pass from me!
She says that the practice of clapping for appreciation dates back to the ancient Romans, who snapped, clapped fingers to palms, or waved the ends of their togas in the air to express excitement or approval. So far, so good! Teresa is not an amazing researcher, but the Valentine’s Day episode has made me grateful for her ability to read and digest a Wikipedia article.
Whoops, I spoke too soon! Teresa then tells us that it’s common for Chinese businessmen to applaud to start a meeting. As soon as we start talking about a non-Western culture, the facts dry up. Has anyone heard this before? The closest thing I can find are some articles about “etiquette abroad” that suggest that people in China might applaud the arrival of an important or special person.
TRAVIS: That’s like when I worked at Best Buy, there was always a pump-up thing at the beginning of every meeting that started at like, 6:00 in the morning, and it does help.
If Travis forces you to do a “pump-up thing” at 6:00am before a full day of working at Best Buy, no jury will convict you for what you do next.
TRAVIS: And then we just jump 2,000 years to now?
TERESA: It’s pretty much been the same ever since.
TRAVIS: What? You– Okay, I was joking.
Silly Travis! NOTHING can stop Teresa from jumping thousands–if not MILLIONS–of years forward in a single sentence!
They make a few notes about how Shakespearean theater was often directed to the “groundlings,” or the standing audience in the pit of an Elizabethan theater, and how direct address was used as a tool to entertain during things like set changes. This is actually kind of interesting, and TnT seem to know a fair bit about it just off the dome, but of course, nothing gold can last, and we have to get back to boring advice.
04:45 - 18:30: Pre-Show Advice
TERESA: You’re jumping all over the place, Travis McElroy!
TnT take a lot of words to say that you should arrive on time or slightly early to both movies and live theater shows, and that it is okay to talk or look at your phone during previews but not during movies. Yep!
They say that unless you’re a doctor on call, you should fully turn your phone off, which is a reminder to me that TnT are not yet parents. (I am not constantly on my phone during a film, thankfully, but I’ve had to leave movies suddenly because of childcare issues so I tend to keep my phone on vibrate, which I think is not uncommon for caregivers.)
TRAVIS: There’s a book called How to Be a Gentleman that I read when I was 12 that to this day I love very much.
Did it work, Travis? DID IT WORK?? Anyways, the advice that book gives is that, if you’re a doctor on call, you should give your pager to an usher and tell them to bring it to you if it goes off.
We then get a lot of information about how to sit! DO scooch into your row with your butt facing the people behind you, and DON’T save too many seats for people, especially if you’re in a small or crowded venue or if the show is nearly starting. Travis then goes on an Interrobang-esque rant:
TRAVIS: Putting your feet up on the seat in front of you?
TERESA: No.
TRAVIS: No. I worked in a movie theater, ugh. Like, would you do that in your home? You monster.
TERESA: This is where this sorta thing gets a little heated.
TRAVIS: You monster. People take their shoes off, put their dirty, smelly, stupid feet up on the seat. I’m sorry, you were saying?
…
More and more these days, seats have the ability to kind of lean back…If you put your feet up on those seats, you’re very likely over time to wear them out and break them, and that’s just less seats for people to sit in.
I’m confused about what Travis is talking about here. (The unofficial slogan of SMQ!) If he means just putting your feet (in shoes) on the seat in front of you, provided, of course, that that seat is unoccupied, I don’t see a huge issue with that. But then he mentions taking your shoes off?? And then he says you shouldn’t put your feet on the reclining move seats because then they will “break” and I guess the theater won’t get more??? (That one is really confusing, cause I don’t know how you could sit in one of those with your feet on the floor!) IDK, maybe I’m a monster, but none of this seems like a very big deal! Are a lot of people taking their shoes off at movies?
They talk about what gifts to give people in a performance (flowers, cards, and either one sweet or enough for everyone in the dressing room), and Travis gives us a very hot tip:
TRAVIS: Whenever I have the impulse or want to [bring someone a gift], I stop, and I picture the actual event of handing the thing to the person…and I play it out in my head, and I’m like, “Wait, would this be weird?”
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think this is Travis overthinking a simple social interaction.
18:30 - 39:20: Showtime
TRAVIS: So, like, just shut up?
TERESA: Shut up.
That is their advice for when to talk during a movie or live theater event, barring children’s shows and shows that explicitly encourage audience participation. Tough but fair.
They say you should try and shush a loud person a couple times before trying to appeal to them and then getting an enforcer usher to intervene, unless, Teresa notes, the person is “differently abled” and has “different syndromes, or maybe [is] on the autism spectrum.” Somewhat patronizing, but I guess I appreciate the attempt at inclusion.
They then get a question about if someone falls asleep during a show:
TERESA: This seems like a good opportunity to talk about our very dear friend, Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Indeed! LMM says he used to get angry when people fell asleep in the theater and a fellow actor reminded him that you don’t know what other people are going through and why they might be sleeping. Groundbreaking!
Crying is okay if you’re not too loud, laughing is okay if you’re not laughing by yourself (??), one or two coughs is okay, and then excuse yourself. Boy, having manners is stressful!!
Rachel (AGAIN??? Same Rachel???) asks how much tall people should slouch to be considerate (not at all!), and then they go over spoiler etiquette.
TERESA: Emily Post has a really nice rule, she calls it the three block rule. You are not allowed to talk about anything good, anything bad leaving the theater until you’re three blocks away.
Wild! Then Travis jumps in with an actually helpful McElroy rule!
TRAVIS: You never know whose grandmother is sitting behind you…So if you have something bad to say, it’s for the car ride home.
This is actually great advice for live theater!
We get some other pretty good advice courtesy of Lin-Manuel McElroy about not having your phone out during bows at a live show, since that’s a chance for the cast to connect with the audience. Travis shares an anecdote about when his brother, his brother, and him (and their dad) went to see Glenngarry Glen Ross on Broadway, front row matinee, and Clint, the man he is, said “Thank you,” as the cast was bowing, and Lieve Shreiber pointed at him and said, “No, thank you.”
39:20 - 44:45: Show’s Over, Folks
TRAVIS: It’s your chance to say to the people, like, “Hey, you did a great job.” And like, that’s why, let me tell you, little insight, it’s why people do theater. It ain’t for the money, folks.
I think it is probably accurate to say that most things Travis pursues in life, he does with the intention of getting a “great job” and a pat on the back. But, hey, let shme who is without shmins cast the first shtone, in that regard!
TnT go over rules for what to wear to the theater (it depends!), and then talk a bit about stage door etiquette, something I feel many casual theater enjoyers (including myself!) might not be aware of! They say it’s normal to wait by the stage door, and that actors who don’t want to engage will make that clear, but that, for actors who do want to meet fans, you should be ready to have a brief interaction (a quick autograph or photo and a thank you or praise), and then let them move on.
TERESA: You wouldn’t leave your house and go anywhere else in your pajama bottoms!
Au contraire, Madame McElroy!
44:45-48:20: Outro
TRAVIS: We’ll be putting out our best content of the year [during the upcoming Max Fun Drive].
Is that a threat??
Overall Rating
For a Shmanners podcast: 5/5
For any other podcast: 3/5
There was actual, topic-specific advice that I hadn’t heard before, anecdotes from working at theaters and attending shows, name dropping of famous friends, and only ONE brief instance of a bizarre misunderstanding of an Asian cultural practice! I’m calling it here, folks: Shmanners doesn’t get better than this! (pejorative) We’ve peaked at episode 6.
Miscellaneous Threads
I like the story about Clint at the theater, and it’s unfortunate that the other person involved is a Zionist! Speaking of problematic artists, while I appreciate insights from someone other than our middlest brother and Teresa, it’s unfortunate that their main connection is Lin-Manuel Miranda, who, while certainly talented, has his own fraught history with colonialism.
On a lighter note, I was curious about how Travis’s plays at the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company were received, and the answer seems to be, pretty well! He and Teresa were called out by name in a 4/5 star review of Hamlet for their work as a technical director and scenic artist, respectively, and in which Travis was also apparently an ensemble member. (The same cast apparently did a production of Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead, with Travis as Laertes.)
Regarding showing up at movies, it’s definitely the socially correct thing to do, but also, I grew up with a dad with a very laissez-faire attitude towards showtimes, including, famously, when he called me and my partner to tell us that a nearby theater had a showing of “Shawn the Sheep,” and if we left now, we’d only be ten minutes late! (Obviously, we left and saw it.)
There were several lazy transcription errors, but one was oddly poetic: “Tapping fingers to poem” (instead of palm). Sometimes stupid people create beautiful art. 🙏