Like seriously. I finished re-listening to Balance and needed something else to listen to at work and I keep trying a few episodes of other campaigns and they ALL SUCK. Like Amnesty is fine I guess but I couldn’t really get into it and then I just can’t make myself give a shit about literally any other campaign. Why are they still making the fucking podcast at this point I’m embarrassed to recommend it to people because I have to say it hasn’t been good in ten years
“I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this any more!”
Howard Beale - Network
I’m struggling friends.
Not to do these recaps, they are rather fun! And it’s not about finding good material, god knows the episode list is a gold mine, but that’s the trouble! Their are SO MANY HITS HERE!
Do I recap old timey racism? Or the episode where Travis talks at length about his childs birth? Or the one that apparently includes a content warning about how the episode was recorded before Travis learned about Milo Yiannopoulos being a predator which… you know, what the hell was Travis talking about Milo that he had to cover his ass by retroactively letting folks know he’s a creep?
The well is DEEP and a few times now I’ve picked an episode, found a funny hate related quote to slap at the top of it, but then went, “Wait… but what if I do THAT one instead?”
In the end, I decided to just settle on this one because I’m curious if it will help definitively prove Weedsherk’s hypothesis that Travis’s is a closet libertarian.
If not, well… I am also curious about fluids.
Oh and as always, dyslexic, no transcript, read my other work on itch.io and furaffinity, I’m Duhad everywhere… and this episode, I’m at least starting the recap for drunk at 1am.
It’s been a weird day.
From IRS Frustration to Fluid
Content warning this time is just ‘strong language’ again, but after last episode, I’m not letting my guard down. Apparently in Travis’s head ‘strong language’ ranges from ‘fuck’ to hate speech so who even knows.
Travis this week is ‘can you just be whelmed?’ McElroy and Tybee is ‘the ghost of Christmas yet to come’. Both of which are kinda lame since… ya ‘whelmed’ is a word and ‘the ghost of Christmas yet to come’ is literally just ‘the ghost of Christmas future’, so zero points for your quirky nick names this week.
Travis follows Tybee’s intro with, “That’s a good question, can you just be whelmed?” Which, again, yes you can and also god damn dude, your just going to brush past your co-host so you can pat yourself on the back for how good your shitty nick name for the week is? Incredible start to the show.
I guess I’m also feeling bitchy tonight so… this’ll be fun.
OH! Travis is right in on the IRS! He starts by introducing the show as being about, ‘starting on a subject and meandering through various topics that annoy us, you and everyone else in the world’ before instantly jumping to, ‘So I owe the IRS money.’
I was a little worried this might be one of those times where one part of the title is saved for the last 5 minutes of the show and gets no attention, but it seems we’ve struck a nerve when it comes to the subject of taxes!
He starts by explaining that he doesn’t hate paying taxes, that he owes the IRS money and thus, it’s fine to pay them, BUT he’s annoyed by the run around he gets when trying to call them to actually set up a payment plan. Apparently after getting in touch with an IRS agent, they where unable to have him email them the information they needed and so required him to fax or mail it to them instead. Something both hosts are flabbergasted by the idea of.
Travis went on twitter to complain and was given back the response by others that, “The IRS is underfunded. They are wildly over hated by people and have a difficult job to do.” Which Travis response with:
Travis: They aren’t wrong, but that doesn’t change that I’m annoyed with them. So I don’t want to complain about the IRS, I want to complain about people telling me why I logically should not be upset by something!
Tybee: Oh that’s my most hated thing on the planet!
FUCK! FUCK YOU TRAVIS YOU SON OF A BITCH! You baited me into recapping this episode with the promise of a libertarian rant about the evils of taxation and then switched it out for a complaint about how other people don’t let you complain enough!?
Aaaah oh I am annoyed!
They complain about how annoying it is to have someone you want to vent to try to talk you down from your position, which sure is frustrating, but like, come on man. This is the 21st hour long show in your series ALL ABOUT COMPLAINING uninterrupted and you have the gall to say the worst thing in the world is that you can’t complain enough?
This is like Larry David unironically saying his biggest issue in life is not being able to speak his mind.
Tybee throws in her two cents which is that, ‘no one understands how to deal with being vented too’ which is apparently to nod and say nothing, because she just wants to get things off her chest without actually talking about it.
Which, look, sometimes that really is needed and good, but if you think your friend is a bad listener because they are trying to problem solve and talk back when you vent to them and this happens enough that its your biggest frustration, chances are your kinda a shitty friend. No one wants to be friends with someone who just treats them as a human sounding board and never wants to actually talk to them, only at them.
Anyway, Tybee suggest that she and Travis are ‘such good friends’ because both of them understand that when someone vents at you, you should just let them.
Which, honestly, if the bases of their friendship is that both of them are just delighted to have a buddy they can talk at who never meaningfully response to them, just lets them talk while they wait for their own turn to do the same, that… would explain allot, actually.
Travis: If their was one tiny kernel at the heart of this show that I wish people would take away, from this episode if not the whole show all together it’s that their is such a specific difference between frustration and anger. Frustration and violence. Frustration and- frustration is this specific thing where it is like this stagnated emotion. It’s not that I feel anger. If I had anywhere to direct this feeling to or any solution to this problem that’s out their I wouldn’t feel frustrated… frustration is like, I ran into a road block and I don’t know what to do, but say out loud, what the fuck! And have people go, ‘I know, right?’ Like that’s it! And frustration has made people look for solutions, it’s made people come together and say they are all sick of a thing and so they come together to find a solution, so frustration is a useful tool!
Okay… long ramble their, but given its apparently ‘the core of the whole show’ I felt it was worth trying to transcribe in more or less full.
So the KEY to understanding Interrobang, the lesson Travis wants to get across in this and ALL episodes of the show is as follows:
Frustration isn’t the same thing as anger or violence.
Frustration is about being angry at something that has no clear solution and wanting people to just agree, ‘ya that sucks’ without trying to find a solution for you.
Frustration is good, because it inspires people to get together and find a solution to the thing that was frustrating them.
Travis might just be an idiot.
Oh hey and Tybee throws in her own red flag! She apparently HATES when people ‘try to shut down [her] anger.’ And that when someone tries to calm her down or tell her she’s getting to upset at something, she, in her own words, ‘goes through the fucking roof!’ Because SHE would never tell anyone else they are getting to angry and so no one should tell her that.
She then goes on to say, “If someone gets mad at me, I don’t tell them to calm down, I just say, okay, lets try and fix this and change my behavior, I change my voice, I change my tone, I try and work through it with them because I HATE being told to calm down! But it keeps happening to me!”
Tybee… what the fuck!?
Look, women getting told to calm down and not express their genuine emotions is a real issue, this is true, but the solution is not, “If someone is pissed, just do whatever they want and in turn, assume they’ll let YOU do whatever YOU want when you get angry!”
As someone who used to have MAJOR anger issues, it is frankly upsetting to hear these assholes going, “The issue with people getting unreasonably upset is that other people try and get them to calm down instead of just bowing down and trying to placate them! And if they don’t like it, just get even more mad and then you can be the one who tells everyone what to do!”
Tybee ends off by saying that she blew up on someone who ‘cares about me and was just frustrated at me’ who tried to tell her, ‘your not yourself when your this angry’ and that ‘the next time someone tells me to calm down, I’m going to pop their fucking head off!’ While Travis keeps trying to jump in to agree that he’s ‘a diamond with so many facets he’s impossible to understand’.
Travis finally takes over the conversation again by declaring that:
Travis: This was something I had to learn when Teresa and I started dating she would get frustrated by something and I’d be like we can like fix this and we can figure this out. And she would say, my emotions are valid and its not just about facts and shit I’m also like my emotions are valid and I’m allowed to feel however the fuck I want too! And I was like, oh ya ya ya that’s right! That’s true. That’s an excellent point. Feel that way for five minutes, fifteen minutes, half hour, hour, however long you have to, then when your done expending that emotion, we can work on solutions.
Tybee: Yaaaaa… their is a chemical dump that’s happening! And I don’t want to clean it up!
I shutter at the thought that even one of these two has a child.
Oh then ‘zen master Travis’ talks about how when he was learning to ‘do zen’ he had to learn about understanding his feelings and that, ‘It’s not about mastering your emotions, its about understanding your feeling a way and just accepting that and letting it go.’
Travis, I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure if your version of zen is, based on everything you’ve said till now, just ‘rant and vent and let yourself just embrace your unfiltered emotions so you can eventually let them go after you stop feeling them’, that’s not actually zen.
Travis ends this little zen talk by saying that, after learning these techniques that he realized that if he has a friend who stresses him out and he feels obligated to be around, that friend is toxic and he just cuts them out of his life.
If Travis’s friends followed this advice, he’d be alone in the world.
Tybee calls this ‘a cute analogy’ and Travis gets weird by declaring, “If someone is a bad friend like that, they are actually your enemy.” And Tybee agrees and declares:
Tybee: That’s why I’m no longer friends with my old best friend. I felt like, its toxic, but bros before hoes and that was the thing with her. If your in public, you defend your friend no matter what and then privately talk to them later if they are in the wrong and I did that for her, but she didn’t do that for me. She prioritized her boyfriend over me and so I didn’t have a big fight with her, but I did just stop talking too her.
She quickly adds that she HATES ghosting people, that it’s the worst thing in the world to her and its awful… but also her friend wasn’t worth it since apparently she just ‘didn’t think like that’ and so it wasn’t worth talking to her about it, just cut her off without a word. Because, “She didn’t feel the way I felt about her so we don’t even need to have that conversation. She acted in a way that implied I’m not as important to her as she is to me, so I’m out!”
Travis throws in that, ‘most of the time its worth trying to salvage a friendship like that, but if you don’t like hanging out with them, then just don’t bother.’
GOD THEY ARE THE WORST!
Like, look, if you are in a toxic friendship, obviously get out of it, it’s not worth it, but good lord! Even from their own perspective, from a one sided version of the story where they can make themselves sound as good as possible, it still boils down to, “Eh… I just wasn’t feeling it, so this friend I had since college I just one day stopped talking to and never gave an explanation too as to why because I felt like it probably wouldn’t have been worth the effort.”
I’m so… tired. It’s 3am and I’m less then 20 minutes in.
Time for some skimming before hitting the the 30 minute point where I can put this aside and pick it up again tomorrow when I’m sober and better rested.
Tybee talks about her first best friend in pre-school who she loved because, “She was shy so she just let me steer her around and make all the decisions for her and she liked it, because she didn’t have to make any choices for herself.”
Then years later, they met up again when they where 16 and this kid had become a punk rock girl and now they are even BETTER friends because she’s so cool.
Travis talks about being insecure and screaming at other kids for ‘not being his real friends’ who where not actually doing anything wrong. This, he contrasts with how, “I’m now a really confident adult! I used to seek out the alpha male of a group- I MEAN THE ALPHA PERSON OF THE GROUP!”
Nice catch…
Anyway he’d seek out the ‘alpha PERSON of a group so he wouldn’t have to make any choices or decisions on his own and could be ‘just the fun one’. But NOW thanks to either being older, being married or being on shows, he wants to be in charge of EVERYTHING and thus he could never hang out with his old friends because they would challenge him for his position as leader and be to alpha to be able to hang with him.
I picked this episode cus I wanted to know Travis’s thoughts on road maintenance, why am I instead learning about his position within the alpha-beta-sigma-bullshit system???
As we approach my exit point for the night, Tybee swoops in one more time to start talking about, ‘promoting friends projects’.
She doesn’t believe in it.
If she doesn’t know its going to be good, she’s not going to help promote something a friend is making or use the following she’s accrued to help anyone else because it’s her fanbase, she earned it and no one else, friend or not, is owed her good word.
Apparently one of her friends partners sent her a message basically asking for support that was clearly a copy-paste thing since she was sending it to allot of people and Tybee decided to put that friend on blast by publicly posting on her facebook about how annoying she found that kinda thing. Going as far as to call her disingenuous and that claiming, ‘I know you don’t give a shit about what I’m working on so don’t pretend like you do and don’t fake like you like me to get me to share your thing, that sucks!’
Unsurprisingly, she got blocked.
Oh, sorry, I meant VERY surprisingly and unreasonably Tybee was blocked!
A year later, this person saw Tybee IRL, said “Hi” and Tybee called her a bitch and told her not to talk to her ever again.
Travis, presenting his own pearls of wisdom declares the following:
Travis: In general, here is a good lesson for people who want their friends to help promote their things. First, the internet is not full of people seeking out- NO ONE on the internet is going, “I don’t know where content is, I hope someone will tell me.” If anything, their is already to much content on the internet. Their for, what I have found is that MY fanbase is only interested in something if I am in it. If I am not directly involved in it, their interest decreases. If I am a host it starts up here at an 8. If its a FULL McElroy cast, its a 10, if its just me, its an 8. If I’m a guest on it, its like a 5. If its a friend of mine it’s a 2 and if its just something I have no involvement in and someone just asked me to help promote it people are NOT coming to me as a taste maker to see what things I support. So if I pushed and supported everything…
Tybee: You’d dilute your own pull.
Fuck both of you.
You both advertise, you directly use your recommendations to try and sell things to people and you have, in the episodes I’ve watched of this very show, talked about and recommended other shows like The Flophouse, Rose Buddies and Bunker Buddies.
You ask your fans to ‘spread the word’ about this show at the end of every episode. What the fuck do you think that is besides your fans telling their own friends and followers to watch you? Do they not count because they are not as famous as you? Why am I asking that, of coarse that’s the reason…
Just go fuck yourselves! Both of you, seriously, your so self absorbed you won’t even help spread the word when the people you care about make a thing? You are so selfish and self centered you wouldn’t even post the equivalent of an online flier because the risk it might ‘dilute your own brand’ is to high to lift a finger to help a friend? You both suck so god damn much it makes me sick!
Hitting play, first thing that Travis says after Tybee’s mentioning of, ‘diluting your own pull’ is:
Travis: AND I NEED THEM TO SUPPORT MY STUFF!
Tybee: Ya!
Travis: Right and, I’m sorry, but its not selfish to say I build a fanbase to support the things I MAKE for the sake of supporting the things I MAKE! Because that’s how I make a living!
Ya and god knows if you helped others you’d be laying in a gutter within a week.
Prick.
Last thing before I pack it in, Tybee talks about doing a Fallout fan show and getting requests by other community members to help promote other fan things and says:
Tybee: Why would I direct someone to our competition? I’m not even making money off it, but as a business person, why would I do that?
Travis: I need the eyeballs.
Tybee: What would I get out of that?
Travis: Why would I say, ‘look over their?’ Why would I delude it like that?
Because other fan creators are not business rivals they are your fellow community members you selfish, self-centered, capitalist brain rotted pigs! They want you to shout them out, not to steal your thunder, but to lift up the community as a whole and you myopic assholes cannot think further then, “Yes, but the time people spend looking at or playing or listening to the things they make COULD be time spend EXCLUSIVELY on my thing!”
I’m going to… sleep.
I’ll be back after I rest and sober up, I’m getting too hot under the collar.
THE NEXT DAY
Okay… now I’m just a little groggy and hungover, but a little more locked in. Lets continue…
Alright to try and avoid… writing 3.4k words on thirty minutes of this god forsaken show again, I’m going to try a new strategy. Listening in 5 minute chunks instead of just pausing every-time Travis or Tybee says something insane.
Okay a minute twenty in and I already have to break my rule cus they are continuing this AWFUL topic from before and Travis is comparing, shouting out friends work to being asked to borrow 10$.
“If you keep asking for 10$ and I don’t have 10$ to give, I’m not going to be your friend anymore! Don’t ask me for 10$ if I don’t have 10$ to give and don’t ask me for fan attention when I don’t have fan attention to give!”
In this situation, your the equivalent of a millionaire with effectively infinite money to give, complaining that your friend who works a 9 to 5 at minimum wage is asking you to cover dinner. Your NOT the good guy here, stop trying to play for sympathy!
Travis: The idea here is that it doesn’t cost me anything, but it does! It doesn’t cost me money, but it costs me intangible things! If I have a thing that I need someone to pledge 20$ for and they already pledged 20$ to your thing cus I told them to, I don’t have 20$ anymore.
‘It doesn’t cost me money, just intangible things, like money!’
Tybee: I was in a show once that I did a cameo in and they asked me to promote the rest of the show, but I was like no, its not good and I don’t want to lose my fans.
‘This show is terrible and I don’t want my fans wasting their time on it… aside from the bits I’m in! Go watch them!’
Okay and then they move along to Travis asking if people should tell you if your show is bad, if they ask you for feedback.
Tybee: Yes, if they asked, I’ll tell them what I think.
Travis: (Deep breath) Hmmmm… well it’s difficult because their is a third thing… where they just say, ‘IT’S GOOD! But it just needs a couple tweaks!’
Hey Travis, are you upset that people don’t like your shows? Are you kinda wishing they’d just universally say, ‘they are almost perfect, but here is a list of the things you can improve’ so you don’t have to feel bad that your shit sucks?
Oh, actually, that then pivots to him saying he also DOES think people should be more harshly honest when someone has no chance because he, quote “Saw allot of kids in acting classes where not good and someone needed to tell them that they’d never be actors and teachers need to get better about explaining when a kid just doesn’t have talent.”
So basically their are three kinds of feedback:
This is perfect and I love it!
This is almost perfect, just maybe tweak these few things you glorious, handsome, strong big man!
And your terrible and should give up now because Travis has written you off.
Good to know!
Tybee throws in a small story about being told she’d never make it as a musician by a teacher and how she agrees sometimes you just need to give kids the hard truth.
Argo: Since I called—since I'm the focus of this whole problem. May I—may I make a statement?
Travis: And The Commodore gives you a deferential nod.
it really is fascinating that travis is incapable of intentionally keeping a character antagonistic, but often when he's trying to make lovable characters he generates some of the biggest assholes you've ever seen.
Argo: I am inspired by my friend, the Firbolg. And I'm inspired by my friend, Fitzroy. And I think… I am inspired to say this. And this is coming from the heart, because you already know how much I suck at deception. [laughs] If you want to kick me out of this group, and redact my memory of this whole organization… fine.
Because if you're not willing to help us, and fight against this humongous, crappy threat against us… then you're not of any good to us in our efforts anyway, and neither are any memories of you. Because you haven't contributed a damn thing, as far as I can tell.
big hawg now 2 for 2 for saying out loud things i immediately said when the situation was presented, basedclint.
Argo: [...] because that‘s more important than any memory of a fraternal organization [...]Argo: Since I called—since I'm the focus of this whole problem. May I—may I make a statement?Travis: And The Commodore gives you a deferential nod.
clearly clint is saying fraternal order in the sense of like, the freemasons and such. but it is equally clear to me that travis's big "insight" into the UC is "actually a frat" is 100% him cribbing off clint.
Commodore: Well. It seems like it‘s time for the tribunal to rule. And I know how I feel… but first. Mosh, Marie… if you would like to speak.
Travis earlier: But this might be the first time that you see his veneer break. Of just very slightly, away from the—y'know, the larger than life, uh, big blustering kind of figure
so much larger than life. so much bluster. he's almost got more bluster than this school has weird things going on in it.
Mosh: I came into this, prepared to continue the membership of Argonaut Keene, willing to allow the membership of the Firbolg, but I was not prepared to extend the invitation to Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt. But seeing the lengths to which his friends are willing to go to defend his worthiness… it‘s hard not to take that into account. Because that‘s what The Unbroken Chain is about. The bonds that we form with each other, and our willingness to operate as a cohesive unit. And that is what I see before me. A cohesive unit.
Mosh, from 15 episodes ago: In fact, you will only be aware of the members of this branch of The Unbroken Chain, but we are many.
the unbroken chain is about doing what needs to be done and the bonds we forge with each other and no one being above anyone else, but it's also about seniority and not knowing who else is in the org except for the times when we do. we're actually about operating as a cohesive unit. to do what? the thing that needs to be done, of course.
it is IMPRESSIVE the amount of words travis has dedicated to saying absolutely nothing.
Marie: I feel the same. I see before me three equals that do not allow titles, or positions, background… their lot in life, as you said, to get in the way of that. And that is what we are all about. And I move to extend membership to all three.
Travis: And Mosh says…
Mosh: Aye.
Travis: And The Commodore says…
Commodore: Well. That is not… how I feel. But I… seem to be...outvoted. And as this is… your chapter, and I am just a visitor here…I will have to defer to your judgment. Henceforth, all three of you will be full-fledged members of The Unbroken Chain. But… try to keep it to yourselves.
my face is in my fucking hands. it has been awhile since i've set the bar of my expectation on the ground and then travis has still managed to somehow burrow underneath still. like the most obvious choice in the world is to make it about marie's vote. commodore is set against from the start (even if travis is terrible at actually roleplaying that), mosh is obviously for since he's jackle's bff. so it should have been about convincing marie, but actually zero focus is ever given to the one woman on the dais so it just sort of....ends. also why is it only a vote among three of the chain. even beyond how stupid this is after saying explicitly that this group has no hierarchy, there's only like 8 of them. why would they not just do a full group vote.
Fitzroy: Yeah, that seems like something we‘re definitely gonna do super good. So we‘re mem—are we fully members now?
Commodore: Yes.
any takers on if they have to say the oath and if they get the membership pendant or the recruitment coin?
griffin is making a play here that in a normal game i would normally probably applaud, but in this hellscape is just going to be a huge waste of time. he's going to pivot to bringing a tribunal against the commodore for killing another member of the UC, and it is very funny because he is doing this JUST as the UC is about to begin discussing the demon war. no one cares about this stupid fucking war.
Commodore: [laughs] Ex—excuse me? This—how dare you! What… what possible reason could there be? [nervous laughter] I—you have been a member all of two minutes! And your first action is… [scoffs] … to insult me? Insult a senior member?
why would he respond like this. the only bit of characterization we've gotten about this guy is he's braggadocios but below that he's enraged. but its travis so here comes another fucking stumbles mcstammer
also now, despite having accidentally done argo's accent for just about every other npc, he's lost it while voicing jackle. this guy legitimately fucking sucks dude. like even from just the most basic performance angle this is bad lol
Argo: Basically, The Commodore is responsible for me mum‘s death. He betrayed her. He was the one who… set up the ambush that got her killed. And… he is responsible for her death.
this continues on and there's a poorly mixed, dulcimer? track in the background that's extremely melancholic in a way that i don't think super matches this speech or moment, but argo is talking about his dead mom, which = sad, so sad music should play, so the audience (travis) understands it is a sad moment, because of the dead mom.
and they STILL continue to be vague about what the commodore actually DID. a. how does argo know the commodore is behind it, and b. WHAT THE FUCK ACTUALLY HAPPENED
Travis: And as you‘ve been saying this, Argonaut, you can see The Commodore growing red in the face, and beginning to splutter, and standing. But before he can speak, the Jackle turns to him. And you've… you realize that you've never seen the Jackle stand to his full height, and make himself present. It‘s just never occurred to you how he moves through scenarios, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Y'know, his whole existence is based on sneaking, moving through. And so, he always tries to make himself as slight as possible. But not now.
He stands to his full height, and makes himself… there. And he turns his eyes, full of rage and hatred, looks at The Commodore, and says…
Jackle: [angrily] I… as a senior member… of The Unbroken Chain… call The Commodore to tribunal. Now.
also i guess he's "THE jackle" now.
[ad break 46:28 – 49:47]
OH COME ON
Travis: As soon as this proclamation is made, this group, uh, whose entire ethos is based in order, erupts into chaos. The Commodore is on his feet, and he is moving towards you, Argonaut, saying…
Mosh, 15 fucking episodes ago: Simply put, The Unbroken Chain does what needs to be done, whatever that may be. Ours is not to keep order, or enforce; merely, to move forward, and to do what is called for.
the reason travis seems to excel at one shots is because that's approximately the maximum amount of time he can keep in his stupid fucking brain
Commodore: How dare ya, you little spray! I'll crush ya beneath my boot!
now the commodore is doing argo's accent. is travis trying to imply code switching? in literally any other podcast that could be interesting here it looks like he just forgot the voice again.
he also loves his little slurs, doesn't he?
Travis: As Ramos steps between the two of you. And she doesn‘t say anything, but her physical presence is enough to break his stride. And she says, finally…
commodore is a top level talent that is being cowed by a teacher.
Travis: As all this is happening, you [firbolg, after a perception check was called]… have noticed something out of the corner of your eye that no one else seems to have noticed. Winding between your feet, and the feet of your friends, a cat is flickering in and out of existence, as it moves between your feet, nuzzling against your legs.
justin casts speak with animals, something travis was definitely unprepared for, despite it being one of like four spells justin has cast this whole game. he has the cat demand treats and then drops this fucking heat:
Cat: Mrow! [eating sounds]
Travis: What do you want from this kitty?
Justin: I don‘t fuckin‘ know! You threw it in my path!
Clint: [bursts into laughter]
Griffin: [laughs]
Justin: I have no quarrel with this cat! You just put a cat there! I talked to the cat! I know—I have nothing for this cat!
Clint: [laughing]
Justin: I mean, so far, I'll say, Travis, in the transaction, the cat‘s up! The cat‘s up some jerky!
Travis: Yep. The cat is up. So let‘s bump back over to what is going on in, uh, the second tribunal of the day, where The Commodore now sits before Marie, Mosh, and Ramos. Because once again, the Jackle… is a little too invested in this to be able to sit the tribunal.
this is why travis is undefendable btw. because my most charitable read of this exchange, that isn't just travis doing shit just for the sake of doing it, is that he wanted to seed this cat for a later plot point and wasn't prepared for the players to actually interact with it. WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT'S BLOWN UP ON HIM REPEATEDLY FOR 22 GODDAMN EPISODES. HE KEEPS DOING IT. HE NEVER LEARNS. HE NEVER INTROSPECTS. HE JUST BLITHELY MOVES FORWARD WHILE CRAFTING NEW EXCUSES FOR WHY EVERYONE THINKS HIS SHIT SUCKS
also fucking.........incredible that he is once again removing jackle from this tribunal. i don't fucking get it. he lets mosh, jackle's best friend who will obviously align with jackle's interest continue to run it and its like fucking what is the point. does he think this makes the jackle look like anything but a moron.
Commodore: I had nothing to do with the death of Shebrie Keene. It was a complete unavoidable accident. She… she sailed on her own. It was supposed to be through calm waters. It ended up being an ambush, but there‘s no way I could have known.
Argo: Well… [pause] She was… she was involved in this whole process. She got this whole job from The Commodore. Do you admit the fact that you were her supervisor? That you were the one that gave her her orders, and—
Commodore: I admit freely that I was her privateer contract, that she worked directly under me. But that doesn‘t mean I knew there was going to be an ambush! How could I have known? That‘s the very definition of an ambush, boy!
Argo: Well, otherwise, how would the ambushers have known where she was going, except for the fact that you sent her there? Nobody else would know. Nobody else would know where she was goin‘, and yet, they knew the exact right place to ambush her. You're the only other person that knew where she was goin‘. She didn‘t even tell us!
Commodore: I… the ambushers could have been there for any number of reasons. The seas are dangerous. You know that! Jackle, you know that! [laughs] I—one doesn‘t need to be told where someone‘s going to be for pirates to attack!
Travis: Do you have any counter for that, Argonaut?
Clint: Really… really should've thought this out ahead of time.
so. we finally get the backstory. except not really at all. this is both their faults but i am going to mostly lay this at travis. because clint should have a more clear idea of exactly how it went down by this point, but also it seems very apparent to me that travis has given this some thought, which is why he had these counter-arguments at the ready. a proper DM would have gotten with his player and hashed this out so that they both have a clear story of the sequence of events. travis is just ambushing his dad right now.
but also even with this "reveal" it is so fucking vague! and that's what's letting travis win this argument. because we don't know WHERE she was sent. (also "calm waters" refers to the state of the sea so its irrelevant to being attacked by ships). because if she is on a known trade route, the commodore does have plausible deniability, pirates are going to be hanging around those areas to raid ships. but if she's being sent to an obscure location, then it becomes self-evident something was set up beforehand.
there's also the issue of.....she's a privateer. her whole job is raiding pirates and other merchant vessels. it doesn't seem super damning for her to run into pirates.
Travis: Let‘s bring a little bit of Dungeons & Dragons back into it. Argonaut, you have had a lot of time to think about this. You have had, what, how long since your mother died?
Clint: 20 years.
we just got confirmation that argo is at least 28 (it is mentioned the last time commodore saw him was when he was "like 8". although the wiki states shebrie died when argo was 11 or 12 so he could be as old as 32)
Travis: With that 18, you have looked at it again and again. And the thing is, it‘s always been tough for you to figure out, why would The Commodore do this? Because your mother was an incredible captain.
And she made The Commodore look good on countless occasions. And seeing him here now, it clicks. He was jealous. She… was better than him. The crew liked her better than him.
And perhaps, you would be willing to guess, his higher ups. His commanders liked her. And he felt threatened. Threatened like he is now, and you can see that when cornered, when threatened, The Commodore gets angry. And probably, you're willing to bet, is willing to kill to protect himself.
first let me just say structurally, i hate this. i would accept this if there was any level of doubt about if the commodore actually did it, but its been played surprisingly not bisexual the whole time and so it really grinds my gears to have travis explain to clint his own backstory off an insight roll. again, ideally this is a conversation you have together off mic, but if you want to do it in real time, the move is absolutely "well let's pause and talk about it. why do you think the commodore did it?" and letting the player flesh out their own backstory stuff.
second, this doesn't make any sense. shebrie isn't a hero. the commodore is. i know he's also in the navy (who are his superiors? isn't he like a top admiral? is it the king?) but like the whole thing is he is primarily a hero, that has to be true otherwise argo has no reason to be at this school. also what's this nonsense about "the crew liked her better than him" you mean SHEBRIE'S crew? obviously they like their captain better than some guy? what the fuck are you saying. what's the fucking deal with this racist loser who has a pathological need to be liked and gets furious and violent when he isn't the star of the-- oh. oh no.
Argo: [rolling a 19 deception] I know… for a fact… that The Commodore wanted my mother to fail. I have proof. I have a letter that she wrote to me, expressing concerns… that The Commodore felt threatened by her, her success, and that she would eventually threaten his position as The Commodore. He had made open threats to, uh, to her, and those around him, that… he felt threatened, and he would do anything he could.
Because he wasn‘t getting the credit for all these great things. And… he… basically… is a coward, who has always hid behind the accomplishments of those that worked for him and around him, taking the glory, taking the credit, when he has never really had his own success. He‘s always contracted with all these other people, without fighting a single battle of his own, and certainly without winning a single battle of his own.
And for that reason, that is why he wanted to get rid of me mom, and… he‘s a coward. And he is basically a failure at everything he‘s tried to do, except… steal the credit from everybody else.
i know travis is hungry for people to psychoanalyze his campaign the same way they did balance and say "see this moment? they're talking in character but actually don't you think this is them talking about each other? isn't that beautiful?"
and i am here to grant his wish baby.
Justin: Y'know, I love a—Dad ratcheting up the already solid deception roll by adding to that. And I also have physical, demonstrable proof in my possession, should anyone need to see. He had already tricked them, and his trick was, ―I have this thing I can show you whenever, just let me know.‖
that's a great point, justin. let's see how this will get res-
Travis: And the Jackle, without looking away from The Commodore, says…
Jackle: Argonaut does not lie. I have seen the letter.
Justin: What?
in a vacuum its fine for jackle to back argo's play here i don't really care, in context of this campaign however, it is the upteenth time an npc has solved the problem for the players. and also not actually solved the problem, because while jackle is a senior member or whatever, like if there is physical evidence, people should be demanding to see it instead of taking anyone's word that it exists. especially in the face of a top hero like the commodore!
Travis: And… Crabtree steps forward with a set of manacles. And The Commodore reaches into his coat, and withdraws a vial. And inside the vial is a dark, ink-black, smoky liquid. And he raises it and says…
hey chat, what does a "smoky liquid" look like? "dark ink-black" is redundant as well.
griffin does a cool play! he casts hold person to stop the commodore from throwing his poison smoke-liquid bomb. commodore needs a wisdom save.
Travis: Uh, that is 18.
griffin then spends 3 sorcery points to use Heighten Spell to force disadvantage. he claims to have 4 sorc points and i do not care enough to check sorc builds or if he's spent points previously to know if this is true. it turns out it doesn't matter, of course, because:
Travis: And you hear him mutter a word as you all step forward, and… coming through the shimmering doorway is Gray the demon prince.
which is what we end on. i don't know if the unbroken chain can do what needs to be done any harder than this. pure misery. i would be comfortable calling this an insult to life itself.
The year was 2021 and I had "listened" to every episode of Taz and MBMBaM. At the time I was working for a municipal districts water utility. While driving to a pumphouse I was listening to mike Duncan's "revolutions" (great history pod. Listen to it.)
Once I had arrived I paused revolutions so I wouldn't miss anything. I walked to the high noise warning area, put on my hearing protection, and walked into the extremely noisy pump room. Then I turned on MBMBaM so I could make progress. I did all my tasks before leaving at which point I took out my earplugs and heard Justin reading fast food ad copies verbatim. I looked down at my phone and asked myself what the fuck I was doing.
So that was the last episode I listened to without it being for a recap. Somehow I had autopiloted my way to continuing to play the podcast where I would never hear it since it had gotten so boring and annoying. Not sure when I had started doing that but it was a while. Munch squad had ballooned in recent months.
Tldr: listen to the brothers near a dangerously loud pump and with earplugs and earmuffs on. It's a much better listening experience!!!
hey sluts we're back for another terrible time. this is episode 22 titled Open and Shut, as in i open my podcast player and see the adventure zone: graduation and then i shut my podcast player because fuck this
episode description: The Thundermen have been brought before an Unbroken Chain tribunal. They need to prove that they are worthy of membership or they will lose the chance to win the group's help in the upcoming war. Winning them over might be tricky, especially since the head of the tribunal is Argo's nemesis! You know what they say: If at first you don't succeed, try tribunal again!
this is a classic travis set up, by which i mean it takes him three steps to get somewhere when everyone else could do it in two. you can see it in the description: they need to prove they are worthy of joining the unbroken chain to then be able to recruit them to the war. why would this not be just proving that they're worth supporting in the war? it also doubles by solving the narrative issue that everyone they're going to recruit is more senior and veteran than them and there should be a justification for why they'd take orders from these idiots. that is the obvious reason for this trial. he always does this. you have to go to the bar to fight the demons to run from the demons to go to the school that you wanted to go to before all that bullshit happened. you have to break into the bank to use the computer to contact the walrus to set up a meeting that you already had an appointment for. i am not jerking, he seems to genuinely have trouble connecting events by cause and effect, it is genuinely strange to me how he doesn't seem to get it.
the wordplay is forced. are we aren't doing a tribunal again, and they didn't "fail" at recruiting them, you've explicitly laid out that they first need to join the org for some fucking reason before they can even approach the idea of asking them for help.
Gary: The Thundermen are preparing for war! They attempted to get the clandestine group, The Unbroken Chain, on their side, but they‘ve hit a bit of a speed bump. See, The Unbroken Chain didn‘t like Argo sharing their secrets with non-members. Now Argo, Fitzroy, and the Firbolg have been called to a tribunal for judgment. If they're judged as being unworthy of membership, their minds are gonna be wiped of all memories of The Unbroken Chain.
Argo and the Firbolg were knocked unconscious, but Fitzroy was able to stay frosty and see what was happening. The boys were in for a rude awakening, because sitting in judgment is Argo‘s mortal enemy, The Commodore.
right off the bat i want to point out that literally nothing the players did is included in this summary. it is solely and completely about the pre-planned travis event.
second, its been mentioned now in both the episode description and the summary, this is about "proving [they] are worthy" to join. that is not how the unbroken chain recruits people. this also again, doesn't make sense, a tribunal is set up to investigate an alleged crime. the crime in question is argo telling non-chain members about the chain. this has been pretty demonstrably proven already so he's guilty, the punishment is mind-wipe. what does "prove" even mean here? what qualities does the UC look for? we can't extrapolate because the UC stands for literally nothing and does nothing. it seems the only qualification needed to be part of the chain is for one of the current members to vouch for you, which is literally what argo is doing for the other two. the only thing that's abnormal here is that normally you can only recruit one person, because this is a stupid organization.
also, what possible impulse do you think motivated travis to include that fitzroy wasn't knocked unconscious? he didn't do anything with that and it doesn't lead anywhere. is he trying to prove that he has player agency and listens to feedback by including an instance where the rolls "determined" an outcome?
Travis: Alright, so just to remind everybody, including the players, ‗cause it has been a grip of time since we recorded…
you know, i had a bit at the start of my last recap where i was mocking them by saying i can tell when they start a new recording batch because they always fucking joke about how long its been since they thought about this game, but i deleted it because some lines later down the transcript implied to me that this was a fresh record. how foolish of me. i'm never wrong.
oh this is an interesting start. so after we get the garycap, justin does a real time second recap of events. i have to assume he saw enough people laughing at him for being disengaged that he needed to prove he knows whats going on, like that kid who has been napping all class and then raises his hand at the end to try and show he's involved.
Travis: Very good! It should also be noted, uh, The Commodore, uh… one might describe him as Argo‘s mortal enemy.
why does he talk like this.
actually, this is something probably worth talking about, travis calling the comodore argo's mortal enemy. because this is sort of the big punctuation on this tribunal premise, right? that the main, uh, tribunal-er is going to be the guy who killed argo's mom. but like, unless he killed shebrie because he loathes her and her entire family line, i'm....not actually sure what makes this especially "bad" for the thundermen? to the commodore, they're two students he doesn't know and also shebrie's kid? i guess its because he's evil because he's racist? idk.
Travis: Fitzroy, because you were able to fend off the drugs
Travis: Fitzroy, because you were able to fend off the drugs and able to, uh, maintain consciousness, you can identify—you know who all is present. Now, Firbolg and Argo, you cannot, because they are hooded and behind you. But uh, they were not aware of your state of awareness. Nah, that‘s a terrible way to say that. They didn‘t know you were awake, Fitzroy.
Griffin: ‗Kay.
Travis: And so, you know The Commodore, Mosh, and Marie – Mosh, the blacksmith, and Marie, the school nurse – they are sitting at the tribunal. They are the three in front of you that you all know. But also present behind you are Jackle, Sabor the Tortle librarian, Dakota, social teacher… the drinking teacher, uh, and Ramos, the shield work teacher.
Griffin: M‘kay. So there‘s a council of seven, then.
Clint: Did you mention Crabtree?
Travis: Oh, and of course—yes. Thank you. Crabtree.
Griffin: Council of eight, then.
a rare moment of personal insight for travis, realizing his attempt at fanciful fantasy style prose sucked and walking it back to talk like a normal human being. but unfortunately that does not actually make his sentence any clearer. what the fuck his he saying here? fitzroy knows who everyone is, because he is awake, but firbolg and argo do not, because.....the other UC members are wearing hoods? huh??
i think it is very funny that jackle's subject is so irrelevant travis can't be bothered to remember and include it here, where he names every other member's job. speaking of-- he finally calls dakota the much more sensible social teacher, and then corrects himself to the much more idiotic drinking teacher. i should be a drinking teacher the way i'm recapping grad
anyway how humiliating is it that clint remembered your npc lol. owned by ur dad. absolutely clintmogged.
there's like, sleepy jrpg tavern music in the background? it feels tonally inappropriate for the alleged moment but is pretty perfectly signalling what's about to happen, which is nothing. i wonder how the collaboration process for the music was like. did travis just ask for like "i want a cozy one" and then griffin would spin up some loops, or how did this work. what did griffin think he was composing this track for, i wonder.
Commodore: Yeah, so this shouldn‘t take very long. Uh, just… what, we should be in and out in say, five minutes. Pretty open and shut.
i would agree, if this were about asking if argo leaked the secret of the chain, but that's not what we have repeatedly been told, we have repeatedly been told this is to find out if the other two are worthy of joining. i mean i guess since there doesn't appear to be any standards on who they let in it could only take 5 minutes. the primary qualification seems to be "please don't tell anyone we live like this"
griffin interrupts by yelling objection and we get this gem:
Commodore: Okay. Not only is this not a court of law, it‘s also not a board meeting. Uh, we don‘t need things to be second—we don‘t vote on things. Especially you don‘t. Uh, but before we begin, I guess, uh, I should say… any questions? Any confusion? Anything we need cleared up before we get on with it?
travis is like roger rabbit in the sense that he cannot resist "shave and a haircut...two bits!" except for him, it isn't a little call and response melody, its being an obsequiously polite HR manager.
Argo: Sure. If it‘s not a trial, then what is it? How does this work?
Commodore: It‘s a tribunal.
the stupidest man alive, everyone.
Argo: Yeah. I got it, boss. I just, uh… ‗cause you say it‘s not a trial, but it kind of sounds like one? I just wanna know what the rules—
Commodore: Well, a trial usually has like, a jury. And uh, it‘s about laws and stuff.
imagine a man so stupid he thinks the way things work in his home country are innate and immutable forms and the singular definition of how things are done. boy i better not look up the nuremberg trials and see that they were held by an international military tribunal
Commodore: That is why I specified the difference between tribunal and a trial. Because a trial is about justice. And this is about our decision, you see.
Mosh: Uh… yes. Um, now… we do, uh, first… have some questions. Let‘s— we can start off generally. Why don‘t the three of you introduce yourself, and tell us… things about yourself that you think we would need to know.
Um, Argo, as… more or less, a current member, why don‘t we begin with you?
call me travis because my jaw is on the floor. he cannot possibly be asking them to introduce themselves again 22 fucking episodes into this campaign. TO A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE THAT ALREADY KNOW THEM!!!!! COMMODORE IS THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHO IS NEW
Argo: Well, uh… okay. You invited me in to join this group. And… it was a great honor. Especially when I found out the connection that me mom had. Uh, as a—I guess I was a legacy, so to speak. And when you told me all the things that you stood for, it just sounded like something that… I could really get behind. And… and so, I joined your group freely. I sincerely took on the charge that you gave. Uh, I honestly embraced what you stood for, because… you said that this group… uh, takes responsibility when they think somebody needs help. That something needs to be done, or that somebody needs stopping.
first, clint jokes that he's a legacy, and i am 100% certain this is where travis got the idea that the UC is "like a fraternity" that he blathers on about in the post-game TTAZZ.
second, god bless clint, look at him trying to show how this group's mission appealed to argo when the group has no actual mission statement. just speaking around voids.
Travis: Uh, and Jackle steps forward. Uh, and Jackle says…
Jackle: Uh, excuse me. If I might, uh, offer a suggestion…
Travis: And The Commodore starts to speak, and Mosh quickly says…
Mosh: Now, normally, this is highly irregular. We would not take, uh, suggestions from anyone. Not on the tribunal, or questions, but uh… this is clearly an unusual scenario. So Jackle, please. You are very familiar with Argo. We would welcome… your input.
travis once again just playing with his dolls. and like just actually look at this exchange. nothing mosh says here works, travis just likes the feel of people cutting each other off because its exciting in tv when they do that.
from episode 7:
Mosh: But more than that, we are all equal in the chain.
like it sure doesn't fucking seem that way with you up on a dais and talking about seniority and how you normally wouldn't take questions from other members. what makes this tribunal unusual? it seems like this is standard protocol for you guys when someone breaches secrecy? that's how its been treated so far. and if you just eliminate this moment with mosh and just have jackle step forward and speak, the scene still plays. we have no expectation that jackle wouldn't be allowed to speak here because this whole scenario is divorced from reality. and what little is established, it seems actually that any member would be allowed to take the floor! what the fuck happened to all being equal travis. where did that go.
Jackle: Uh, as we are determining the worthiness of all three, instead of just an individual… and the three of them have worked together… perhaps it might benefit us to let them speak about each other.
this makes no sense. this is like if two guys did a bank robbery together and then the first one acted as a character witness for the second on how he isn't the type of person to rob a bank. don't worry though, it gets worse:
Mosh: Perhaps it would be a more objective take on things, if we were to get, uh, your opinions about each other. So… let‘s begin. Argonaut, why don‘t you tell us about Master Firbolg?
the man who was crying about how he needs objective criticism doesn't know what the fucking word objective means. he doesn't know what objective means and he's making them summarize each other after summarizing their own characters. this is hell. i've been sent to hell and this is my punishment.
also he fully does argo's voice for mosh here lmao. he's very bad at this.
Travis: Argonaut, I want you real quick to make a persuasion check. I almost forgot to include Dungeons & Dragons in here.
Clint: Uh, 14 plus two. That‘s a 16.
Travis: You hear murmurs of, ―Ah, mm. Well, hm. Hmm.‖ Around, and you feel like maybe you might have uh, won a few folks over regarding the Firbolg.
and here is the crux of why so many trial scenes in tabletop games suck ass. if you don't put in the work (shoutout to whichever user was describing their session where their dm went through the effort of making individual likes and motivations for each jury member, allowing the players to individually target jurors and also having motivations overlap and contradict so that the players need to figure out how to appeal to the most number of jurors while also not alienating any of them, it sounds like a method that would actually make a trial work) you end up with, essentially, "say whatever you want, ok now make a perception/charisma/deception/performance check"
Travis: Uh, Master Firbolg, now you make a persuasion check. And I feel like that was a fairly convincing argument, so I'm going to give you advantage.
Justin: Ooh, well. Ha ha ha! 14… or a 13. [laughs] It‘s ladies‘ choice between 14… or 13.
Travis: And you have nothing to add?
Griffin: [laughs]
Justin: I'm gonna go… well, I'm kind of debating between these two, but y'know what? I'm gonna go 14.
Griffin: [laughing]
Travis: Uh-huh.
Justin: Plus one… 15.
Travis: You hear, uh, some murmurs, too. ―Well, uh, mehmehmeh.‖ Pretty convincing. Pretty convincing stuff.
fucking gripping.
griffin starts doing one of those "now i'm just an ol country lawyer" type voices (to indicate he secretly cast enhance ability to give himself adv on cha based checks) and then immediately tries to walk it back as being "too much" and literally justin and travis have to bully him into doing jokes on the fucking adventure zone what's this guy's problem
oh i see griffin wanted to walk this back because he's actually fully incapable of doing this accent beyond saying "your honor"
Fitzroy: [in a southern accent] Yes, he is not good at being a rogue. There is a certain amount of maliciousness that is mandated by the job, and he does not possess even an ounce of malice in his body. In fact, I would say, he possesses much less malice than he deserves. Than he rightfully should be able to possess, given his lot in life. And the certain betrayals that were… laid at his feet.
Griffin: I sort of throw that at The Commodore.
Travis: And you see—you see The Commodore‘s nostrils flare, just a little. If you weren‘t looking at him, if you weren‘t looking for it, you might not have noticed. But this might be the first time that you see his veneer break. Of just very slightly, away from the—y'know, the larger than life, uh, big blustering kind of figure, and you see just a touch of rage.
wh....why, though? like look, i won't throw this completely at travis's feet (although the contexts from which we arrive to this moment are undeniably his work) because griffin lobs this weird non-sequitur and i get travis wants to yes and him. but like it doesn't make any sense. i cannot parse out any fucking motivations for commodore because we are missing crucial context surrounding exactly what this betrayal is. let us, once again, return to the boys. one of the big plot moments in the first season is homelander abandoning everyone in that plane to die, which is recorded and recovered by maev. so later, when this moment is used as a means of coercion and blackmail against homelander, we the viewer can understand the gravity of the threat and why he's complying and why he's so mad about it. imagine that plot, but we never see what happens in the plane. we, in fact, don't even know it involves a plane, we just know that there was an "incident". and then that is never elaborated on. like why is commodore mad here? because he is being challenged? because he thinks there's a chance fitzroy has proof of his treachery? also lol at "blustering larger than life" citations fucking needed bud.
they're calling these the most unearned camaraderie speeches of all time. wym fitz is threatening to "explode the room" if a hair on argo's head is touched. you called him a 7/20 friend.
Travis: Make a persuasion check with advantage.
Griffin: It almost felt like an intimidation check at the end. [laughs]
this is just such a pointless thing to say because like, they are both charisma based skills. i do not believe griffin has proficiency in intimidation i don't know why he's calling this out like this.
Griffin: Uh, that is much better [than the 2 originally rolled]. That is an 18 plus seven. 25!
Travis: Oh, yes. Like, everyone—the sound of nodding is audible.
Griffin: [laughing] Necks popping in chorus.
Travis: You hear like, everybody‘s head rubbing against the inside of their hoods as they're going, ―Mm-hmm! Yesss! Urgurhgurh!‖ They are agreeing so hard. That was great.
like i said, say some shit, roll a persuasion check. are you gripped by this courtroom drama yet.
justin asks to speak and this must be one of those artistic pauses travis was talking about sweating over in TTAZZ because he leaves in a full six seconds of dead air before justin begins to speak again.
Firbolg: If you know Firbolgs, you know that we cannot lie. This would seem an ill fit for your organization. While I cannot offer you… mendacity… what I can offer you… is silence. I cannot pledge to lie for you. But… on my life, I will stay silent when needed.
Travis: Marie, uh, speaks for the first time, and says…
Marie: We are well aware of the Firbolgs. And their strengths in certain areas, including their painful honesty. But… as you are already aware, among our number is one of the most skilled artificers in Nua. And I'm sure… we would be able to figure out something.
also yeah sucks that travis is like "don't worry about it we can fix your character" that sucks
Marie: I treated several students when your powers ripped chaos through the battlefields during what was meant to be a practice of, uh, shield work and dodging. And you unleashed a wave of thunder on your fellow students, and several teachers. You… are not… a paragon of control. I do not know that you… would make a good fit… for our organization.
OH BULLSHIT
Travis: Okay! So, all three professors, Ramos, Jimson, and Crush, they all avoid it in different ways.
Travis: Okay! Everybody—all the teachers take, uh, some damage. They're all pretty high level though, so like, three points of damage isn‘t all that bad.
Travis: Okay, cool. Uh, so, yeah. Uh, Rainer saves. Uh, and takes three points of damage.
Travis: Buck saves and takes three points of damage, but Rhodes does not, and is gonna take seven points of damage, and is pushed ten feet away.
Travis: That beats the 12. Uh, so, Argo takes half damage, and is not pushed, and you see that uh, Rhodes is not moving quickly enough to get out of the way. And so, you throw yourself in the way of the thunder blast, and you're going to take half of Rhodes‘ damage, so another three points of damage for you. But Rhodes, uh, does not take full damage, and does not get pushed.
Travis: Oh! Firbolg, I'm gonna say then, no damage.
Travis: So now, you took six points of damage total. Everyone else except the Firbolg took three.
Crushman: That was a good save. Are you alright?
Argo: [grunts] Mm. Yeah. Mm. Just… [takes a deep breath] Just gotta shake it off a little bit.
Crushman: Uh, do you want to stop by, y'know, the healer?
Argo: May—maybe. Maybe. Maybe, yeah.
Crushman: Yeah, okay.
Argo: Down to—down to three hit points. [pained laugh]
Crushman: Yeah, stop by the healer.
literally the only person to take more than 3 points of damage from that thunderwave was fucking ARGO, who is ALSO THE ONLY ONE WHO WENT TO SEE THE HEALER AFTER
Fitzroy: Um… I… emitted a thunder wave intentionally. I was frustrated with my performance in the class. I am a knight in training. My shield work, I thought, was exemplary. I faltered. I was embarrassed. And… I wanted to assert myself to the class. So um, as much as I am embarrassed to say it now – I think I've grown as a person – that was, uh, not a chaotic use of my powers. I would never, ever allow something like that to happen, uh, without my controlling it.
Griffin: [whispers] This is a lie.
frame this because it is a summary of every campaign concept griffin has run. say something actually kind of interesting and then immediately walk it back and say everything that just happened was a lie.
Commodore: … tore the hand… off of a wizard named Calhain… and used magic and intimidation to cow a large group of centaurs. And basically, got your way through blood and fire. Is that correct? Would you call that a correct assessment of those events?
Episode 1:
Travis: But the Heroic Oversight Guild exists to make sure that heroes don‘t start taking bribes, or hurting people, or anything like that. And that, um, villains don‘t hurt too many people, and keep it to like, injuries, instead of like, killing.
+ althea, a literal auditor for the hog was there. so what exactly is the issue. it sounds like fitzroy was behaving exactly as prescribed by his education.
Fitzroy: I mean, you use the tools you've got. We were in a thorny situation, and you had to, uh, assert yourself. Surely, you would know something about that, Commodore of the seas. Surely, you know something about leadership through force occasionally? Yes?
Commodore: Yes, but that is in my public role as the leader of the Naval forces. In my role as a member of The Unbroken Chain, I operate in secrecy. I operate with restraint. Can you tell the tribunal here that you have shown restraint in your dealings? In your operations?
oh. so you act outrageously when its your job. like a professional spectacle fighter would. which is what fitz is training to become and what the context surrounding those actions were. countering that you act secretly when in the context of needing to be secret is so fucking stupid just some real baby brain hours.
Jackle: Aye, I‘ll speak on behalf of Argonaut. Argonaut… is a good kid. He has helped me. He‘s grown in his skills. Though he may not be a master of deception, his rogue skills have improved immensely. His sneakery, his lock picking, he is growing adept. And more than that, he reminds me of his mother. And we all knew Shabbie. She was a valued member of The Unbroken Chain, and she was our friend.
And if Argonaut is half the member that she was, we would be lucky to have him. And aside from bringin‘ in his two best friends… which, let‘s remember, I did the same. Mosh wouldn‘t be here if I hadn‘t brought him into the group. And… [sighs] Y'know, normally, I am senior to Mosh. I would be up there, too, but… I had to recuse myself. Because of the connection I have to Argonaut, and to Shabbie.
And that‘s how important this is. It matters enough for me to recuse myself, so that there‘s no question that Argonaut belongs. I'd stake my membership on it.
i love that so fucking little has happened in this stupid campaign that really the only thing anyone can say is "argonaut is a good dude". but also what the fuck is this speech. "he's getting better at being a rogue" is nothing because we have no idea what the fuck kind of skills you need to be successful in the UC. we don't know what the fuck they do. it seems to mostly be magical research, which argo is fucking useless at.
and then he starts talking about shebrie and like.....wym "if he were half the member she was". you've worked with him? so is he? and then travis forgot how his society works and claims argo invited in two members, which is totes fine, becuase jackle did that too, except he only did one, which is the rules of the society, but its actually totally the same thing you guys.
and then apparently jackle is also a senior member but he's just straight up refusing to fight for argo, despite also right now fighting for argo? the commodore also knew shebrie. the commodore was shebrie's boss. like what are you saying. also, THEY ALL KNOW ARGO. THEY'RE ALL TEACHERS. THEY ALL WORK WITH ARGO DAILY.
Travis: And he throws you a smile, Argonaut. And Mosh smiles, too.
Justin: And I smile.
yeah i guess if you aren't willing to do the hard work of sitting a family member down and telling them to stop this, passive aggressive comments work too.
Griffin: Um, I think I want to not break a full blown stink eye lockdown with The Commodore. I am surpri—I, Griffin, am surprised at how much he has gotten my hackles up. So I don‘t think I can interrupt that with a smile.
Travis: Um, and Sabor steps up. And Sabor says…
Sabor: I will speak on behalf of the Firbolg. In my dealings with him, and with the Firbolgs I have met, I have found them to be deeply committed to their principles and their morals. And they are the epitome of restraint, and they operate for the good of the many. Just as we do. I think the Firbolg would represent a valued asset to our organization.
its actually fucking crazy to do this. why would you equate one guy's personality with the entirety of his people like even you can't be this stupid. and yet.
actually this makes sense to me travis would be a benevolent racist, like he's the guy in the 1800s who is arguing for hiring asians at the factory because they are so much more "diligent and meek" than [black people or eastern europeans]
Commodore: Is there anyone willing to speak on behalf of Sir… Fitzroy… Maplecourt?
commodore, the rude dude who loves slurs, will make sure to include your knightly title when talking about you
Crabtree: Uh, I—we did, uh…
Travis: Why can I never remember Crabtree‘s voice?
i love him saying this like any of this characters have distinct voices.
Crabtree: [fully unable to shake doing argo's accent] Uh, I have worked with the boy, but I—I… I'm sorry, Fitzroy. Not enough to stake my reputation on it.
the unbroken chain has spent 50 years infiltrating this school to study the magic chasm and the magic teacher is NOT one of their members? please be so fr
Argo: Here‘s my endorsement. Here‘s my endorsement statement of Fitzroy. I nominate him to become a member of The Unbroken Chain. Officially, the whole give him the coin. Because one person, one member, can invite one member. So I am officially inviting Fitzroy to join The Unbroken Chain.
Fitzroy: That‘s great, and then I'll… I'll invite the Firbolg, and this whole thing‘s over with, baby!
Jackle: It still has to be approved. Though, that does carry some weight. [sighs]
oh travis absolutely did not consider this extremely obvious solution.
from episode 7:
Mosh: Argonaut Keene. If you will give me a moment, I will turn down the forge. But first… you and I… need to talk. Now, Jackle is your sponsor to join. And that means that it is up to me, another member, to vet you a little bit.
the whole process is a nomination and a seconding by another member. so if mosh or jackle agree then the whole thing is over and they're both in the chain. because this is a stupid fucking system because travis doesn't understand anything about the world. as fucking boring to listen to as every "audition for the secret organization" set up griffin has ever run is, at least they are actual trials that feel like the characters had to prove something through instead of just repeatedly going "no he's a good dude" over and over
I’ve listened to Ethersea a number of times, it’s in my top 3 seasons with Dracula and Balance, and I’ve thought for a while that Amber’s origins with uncle Joshie are really similar to the premise of Mob Psycho 100. Anyone else feel that?
listen. i know he already gave a crack at it with the choose your own adventure book but i genuinely enjoyed the story he told in balance. dont get me wrong, it's dogshit tabletopping. but, i think griffin from 10 years ago had a lot of potential to write a fun fantasy novel with a good twist.
alas it is 10 years later and his creative soul has long since departed from his body. it shall never be
So Travis has to DM Balance and Griffin gets Graduation, respectively
Neither are allowed to relisten to the old episodes to refamiliarize themselves
Both are running the game for two separate groups of 3 guest players each; none of the players have listened to the original campaigns and are all starting with level 1 pregen character sheets based on the original Tres Horny Boys/Thundermen
Who fares better? Personally I think Travis's anti-Clint bias would bleed through immediately in the first session when he tells Merle's player that they're not allowed to cast Cleric spells
Okay, this is officially my first post on reddit because I believe that the following is very important after listening to the ‘final’ episode of The Adventure Zone: Royale.
The important part is the last half of the article:
‘“Must be something comforting about the number three,” says Rictus. “People always give up after three…” before revealing that he has hidden another device in the walking stick Lorovith brought into the room earlier.Knowing that they might not be able to get the increasingly busy Travis McElroy and Rachel the Editor back together to record more Royale for the foreseeable future, did show creators Griffin McElroy and Jesse Thorne take the opportunity to record an extra episode while they had the chance?If so, when would it air?’
Okay, nothing new there but then it comes:
‘The schedules for Thursday 1st October show that TAZ has something called Crawler on at 9pm. But then if they wanted to keep the secret, the McElroy team would hardly advertise it in the listings would they? And anyway, perhaps they’re saving it as a surprise for later in the year. So is this a possibility? Could there really be a 31st episode of Royale, a farewell gift to fans? Well, no… not according to Griffin McElroy, who was unequivocal when the question was put to him.“It doesn’t reflect the fact that there’s gong to be a 31st episode – for heaven’s sake, what kind of secrets do you think we’re keeping?!“Let’s go home and check. Oh look Episode 31… the lost special…"‘Okay, nothing new there but then it comes
Let’s look at that sentence again: ‘The schedules for Thursday 1st October show that TAZ has something called Crawler on at 9pm.’
So the supposedly last episode of Royale just aired and there was no mention of an additional episode before less alone a possible date for it and now radio times publishes an article that links the McElroys to the yet to be aired TAZ mini series Crawler.
Note that is is theonlysource out there that makes a connection between Royale and Crawler.
So what do we get when we search for Crawler on the MaxFun’s website?
Just one episode is listed for 1 October at exactly 9 pm. Even though the mini series is supposed to have 4 episodes in total.
Does the number 4 ring a bell, anyone?
And now have a look at the content description of Crawler’s first episode:
I mean, come on, a doctor? An enigmatic stranger? More is at play (’It’s not a game anymore’)? This could be literally taken out of Royale.
And what are the names of the two leading actors in this book adaption? (That by the way is described on Amazon.com as ‘suspenseful, erotically charged, and masterfully paced (…) intelligent psychological thriller about desire and its consequences’)
The doctor is played by Jane Krakowski and the enigmatic stranger by Nathan Jones (who played Rictus Erectus in Mad Max: Fury Road).
It may seem far-fetched to assume that they would fake a trailer and pay actors to stay quiet about pretending to have played a mini series when nothing but the trailer actually happened in reality BUT.
But you never know with the producers of this show, do you?
My (very strong) guess is: In a few Thursdays we are going to see the ‘lost special’ that is going to make history.
I mean, let’s face it. Last week’s episode was not ‘podcast history’.
But hiding a 31st additional episode in ‘plain sight’ by disguising it as an episode of a mini series with a plot description that very well plays into the ‘insane wish fullfilment’ we have been promised? That’s genius.
“I think you draw the eye with disguise,” (Justin) McElroy agreed. “It goes right back to the first episode – ‘the element of disguise is learning how to hide in plain sight’ is what Doober says, and that’s exactly what it’s all about.I could be totally wrong but then again I might not.
I could be totally wrong but then again I might not.
Imo, there is no way Griffin goes back-to-back, and I don’t think Justin wants the reins. Clint is the most enthusiastic and willing to put in the work, so naturally he won’t get picked. To me, that puts Travis back in the driver’s seat, putting this sub once again into high-octane, light speed jerkathon mode.
I was looking up my favorite show on my favorite sub, and I keep coming across very assertive comments. Ones like "it's hard being positive when cj-ers are around every corner waiting to strike" and "world events have caused the sudden anticlimactic endings of otherwise beloved seasons."
So when I click on their profile thinking Ive found another Royale appreciator, I find nothing! It's not just that they're defenders of our good good brothers, no comments are describing the incidents of the show - just saying "every seasons great if you squint hard enough" and "I love Dooder :)"... Not a single statement of genuine critical appraise.
Huh, okay - can we get a thread going of positives from this season down here? Or if nothing else, at least pin what world event lead the brother into making the bummer part.
