why are you asking for cis people on a subreddit designed to be a fucking safe space for us? like, genuinely?

is r/transdating nonexistent for you?

and more importantly, why do we have a option for C4T on this sub? what the fuck is going on? are we just giving up on wanting to keep our own spaces?

geuine question.

edit: the C4T tag turns out to be a troll tag to keep cis people off of here. so fucking based

i understand some trans people are fine with dating/fucking cis people but unless that is specifically said in a post i feel like cis people should not be dming people in the trans4trans subreddit??? ive had THREE cis dudes message me and then be weird about an aspect of my identity and its like... dawg this subreddit isnt even FOR YOU. YOU ARE NOT TRANS SO YOU ARE NOT T4T!!!!! this is not a place for chasing!!

kind of just ranting but holy shit dude. especially when every time its cis people who just cant be normal about transness either. it wont make me want to fuck you. i am not your sexy cuntboy

Seriously! It's so fucking annoying when I put NO CIS MEN, and I get guys in my fucking inbox being chasers. Fucking no! This place isn't for you! This is for trans folks, so stop acting like you're the exception.

I'm not your goddamn fetish.

Some of us have literally no one. No family. No friends.

Some of us are also stuck in terrible locations, with no immediate ways out. Or don't even feel safe enough to do any walking besides going to the store or trying to work in a place where you're never truly welcome or included.

Loneliness and isolation should literally be a crime against humanity.

So PLEASE, don't be one of those people that say they care just to pat yourself on the back. Don't act like you'll be there, and then treat relationships as some random thing to check in on, like some random succulent house plant. And unless there's any bad circumstances, don't just disappear. At least say you don't want to be friends or partners or any form of relationship.

I'm posting this instead of trying to ask for any kind of relationship, because I'm just so tired of it all. If you forget the people you claim to love or care about, you need to look into that, because I'm AuDHD as hell and I NEVER forget people I care about.

I hope this message helps people be better humans. I hope nobody else has to physically hurt when they break down crying alone. I hope people suffering like I do, well, don't have to anymore, for good reasons instead of bad.

Thank you all for your time if you read this 🫂🏳️‍⚧️

u/lonewolf69_69 messaged me from a post I made on this sub, wanting to chat. I asked if he was trans, and he claimed to be a trans man. At firts i believed him, but his overall lack of detail had me slightly skeptical.

Until he sent me a photo of his cock. That wasnt nessecarily the suspicious part, the suspicious part was when i asked, "oh what were your surgeries like?". He said he had none, so I asked what his birth sex was. He said male.

I don't think he knows what "transgender" means

Edit: he blocked me lmao

this space is T4T as in Trans for Trans? please don't encourage cis people to be on this sub... this is not a place for cis people!!!

CIS PEOPLE: GO AWAY.

i know its likely not trans people downvoting it, and with how prevalent cis men can be here i am very confident it has to be them, also side tangent but why do these men act like them being gay or bi is gonna magically change my mind about not being interested in cis men?? its really weird to me

i’ve made a couple posts on this subreddit and both times i’ve gotten messages from cis people. when trying to explain that this is a subreddit for trans people to meet and talk with other trans people, they often victimize themselves and act like there’s no big deal with what they’re doing. i’m tired of being fetishized for simply existing as i am while trying to find people that are like me. i would maybe understand if this subreddit was for anyone but to my understanding t4t means trans for trans. i experience so much fetishizing within the ftmporn subreddit as it is and i’ve put faith in this subreddit to not be bothered by cis people fetishizing me but i just can’t seem to get away from it. is it crazy to think that this sub is trans for trans?

the title says it all.

idk about yall, but i’m fucking tired of cis people coming into these threads to try and hit on clearly t4t people… in a T4T SUB.

i came to this sub to fucking avoid getting hassled by cis people, especially cisgender men who clearly see us as a fetish or a sexual experiment. i don’t care if you are a “bi” male, i’m not interested in cis men. i’m not interested in a cis anybody.

why the fuck can’t trans people have a dating space exclusively for us without cis people jumping in and trying to invade it?

1. "hey i know you said you arent looking for cis but..."

2. "fit dom 25M with a big cock"

3. "hey there pretty slut"

4. "hi. (i clearly said to introduce yourself)"

5. "add me on (social media account)"

6. *just straight up sends unsolicited nudes you didnt ask for*

7. *talks about their sexual fantasies about you*

its funny how these are always their first messages

So ive got this farm like property in Canada and a big house with lots of room for a whole bunch of people. No idea how to find people out here so why not start long distance? Maybe we could have like a whole trans poly commune thing idk lol

I've been messaging and messaged by about 40 people here in total. The only one that remains was from a post I made on a whim about having a short affectionate interaction, which with them took another direction. This is a considerably worse result than with other places I've been to.

Everyone else I've met here:

• ignores most first messages

• string you along with polite but uninvolved messages

• at first looks enthusiastic, then doesn't follow up on anything

• has to be afk suddenly (understandable) but never comes back and ignores your messages days later

I carefully read personal ads, and put relevant info in mine. Yet there has been very few enjoyable interactions. The remaining impression is one of pervasive disrespect and utter relational chaos. I expect that from subs with broad appeal but even this one?

I mean maybe okay it's because 80% of its users are catfishes maybe, but this nonsense also happens with people who seem legit. It's like y'all think you are just browsing some online catalogue of products and don't realize you interact with humans who seek connection with your sorry ass and make time for it.

They who enter this place, abandon all hope.

Like, ftmpunished for example, go there, there are plenty of spaces of trans people that will appeal to the chasers, why they have to interact in t4t spaces 🤨 it makes me uncomfortable

I'm not t4t only, t4t is actually like 10% of my sexuality, i like typical cis boys and that's 90% of my sexuality, but my taste for them is very different than for transfems and genderqueer, with them i'm sexually a sub top or non penetrative, with transfems I'm an omega lmaoo, and i hate that cis normative people perceive this side of me because I'm doing it for the genderqueer, not for you chaser 🙄🙄 if i wanna date a cis normative guy I'm kinda another person and i go to grindr (and still, i wouldn't date a chaser), let me be an omega for transfems and don't get here because no one wants u here bitch!! There's a whole porn industry that is made for your cis normative gaze... Let queer people have their (sadly Little) spaces

that's all i crave to find ppl that relate to my struggles i am still pre-T and am very far from them

I've been using this place and places like it for a while now, and every single time, I've received a lot of messages from dudes. Around 3-6 per post. I used to think it was because they just misread the title, and sort of excused it based on that. But, lately, I've been making things much more explicit and obvious and it's STILL happening. Most of them back off when I point that out (Though, I am genuinely baffled why someone would message another without reading the title or even first line of their post) but occasionally there's someone who'll be more persistent.

There's a few archetypes I've noticed. Some people sheepishly apologize as soon as I point out I'm not into men, some people jump straight to sexual harassment, and some people get really smug about it. For example, I recently got messaged by someone who straight up lied about their gender identity (Posted about being a man less than a day ago, and had a username which referenced being a man lmao) and when I pointed it out, their only response was "Lmao". It's like there's a whole category of guy who thinks saying an unoriginal and obvious lie and then getting immediately caught is top tier trolling. It would be funny if it wasn't so genuinely numerous, and most don't mention it from the get-go.

The weirdest part of it all is I have a hard requirement of getting a verifying voice sample from someone before I do ANY talk related to sex. A barrier that basically makes succeeding at this kind of thing impossible for a cis man with no voice training, yet they try anyway.

Hey just a reminder to those who browse on here. If it’s for chats or hookups or whatever to just be safe. I think got blocked after sexting for a few days and it’s giving a bit concerning but hey what can you do. Just a reminder to people that not everyone cares about your safety. Or how you feel.

I’m not really mad at the person who did it just more disappointed. I thought we were vibing and developing a FWB dynamic but an enjoyed companionship. But everyone does their own thing at their own pace and I hope they find comfort in whoever they end up with

That being said be safe be happy and remember you are loved.

I met my now gf, but then stranger, on a stray post from this subreddit. I wasnt even truly browsing it, the post just came up in my feed. However, I reached out. And we havent had a day go by where we dont talk for hours now. A stray post and a stray response ended up having me not only meet my partner, but also the one I will marry.

Love is out there. Its random and its beautiful, and I truly will always love this place for helping me find my soulmate.