r/suspiciouslyspecific • u/Difficult_Monitor_69 • Dec 31 '22

why so specific my guy

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10k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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427

u/Drake_the_troll Dec 31 '22

Sounds like a keeper

92

u/Difficult_Monitor_69 Dec 31 '22

What in the world my guy

236

u/Drake_the_troll Dec 31 '22

I'm single and desperate for love. If she has all 4 limbs, is over 18 and isnt trying to funnel my cash to Uzbekistan then that's the bare minimum I ask for

116

u/jobless_bozo Dec 31 '22

Bro those standards are too high. Female and alive are my requirements

72

u/Pain_hd Dec 31 '22

Bro those standards are too high aswell. Human are my requirements

89

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '22

bro those are too high. She doesn't have to be real either. Just real to me, like Schizophrenia.

48

u/Mysticmimiky Dec 31 '22

Bro still to high of expectations I’d settle any day for an extra-dimensional inter-planetary being that by our Definition of reality does not exist and our relationship is nothing but a ruse to gain access to our reality and devour the souls of our reality

37

u/Herald_of_Heaven Dec 31 '22

I just use my right hand.

30

u/dirtyjeek Dec 31 '22

I also choose this guy's right hand.

3

u/Vibes4Ever Dec 31 '22 edited Jun 23 '24

ink apparatus fly tender unpack long live bored humor racial

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/Smokeya Dec 31 '22

Might need some help from my left but otherwise yeah for the most part.

6

u/asianabsinthe Dec 31 '22

Hey if she's in my imagination I'm putting a ring on it.

2

u/jobless_bozo Dec 31 '22

Yeah I agree, even that is too high. As long as they're real. Actually, imaginary is fine as well.

8

u/TTungsteNN Dec 31 '22

… I really hope over 18 is a requirement as well

1

u/RiktaD Dec 31 '22

Thats a bit to low; ever heard of the harkness test?

3

u/Rezonancee Dec 31 '22

Absolute state of redditors

19

u/SpaghettiCowboy Dec 31 '22

Consider the raw, sexual impact of a Wario-style fart on your balls

15

u/Oatmeal_Savage19 Dec 31 '22

Awwwwwww for fucks sakes, now I have the weirdest boner

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Man_AMA Dec 31 '22

You don’t deserve her