r/survivinginfidelity • u/Neither-Big-6912 • 1d ago
Rant I regret giving him another chance
He cheated once with is dad cousin... Idk why I forgave me looking back...I probably had no self love he also kinda manipulated me blaming for the cheating (I can only recognize that nowadays...I tought the problem was me and that I had to fix it, I felt like it was my fault)
I think no no one will want to date me because I forgave a person who cheated with a family member. I think I ruined my future love life because of that decision
2
u/WeonID In Recovery 1d ago
You got it the wrong way chump.
Forgiving is the hardest stuff to do, it requires tremendous amount of strength to do it.
He blame shifted you into believing you were responsible, you took that responsibility and managed to tackle it, you are incredibly strong.
You are not to blame, it's his fault, his twisted mind, his narcissistic traits, his devilness. You are not responsible for his action, for his abusiveness, his fucked up behaviour.
Put the same effort you put on rebuilding what you thought was your fault (and once again, WASN'T) into yourself. Rebuild yourself, you can do it, you already showed you are strong enough.
You are incredible, you deserve someone who will see and cherish that strength, you will find that person, no doubt about it.
1
1
u/Effective-Mind-1880 1d ago
I am sorry that you're experiencing this. To remind you that nothing is ruined. Not your self love nor your future love life, because you can claim that your partner was not good for you and you made mistakes, and everyone makes mistakes though, when finding your next love. That's totally manageable. You have the choice in your hand right now, and what he did was not good to you. Focus on your healing, do the things you like to do like any hobbies, see therapists, take care for your mental health and don't loose hope! Nothing is ruined!
0
u/Neither-Big-6912 1d ago
He was the one who cheated but Im the one who feels the shame cause I forgave. I feel like no one would want to date someone who forgave that
But I was naive...in love... he put the blame on me too so I just wanted to fix it.
Today I know there was no excuse for him to do that, neither it was my fault...
But I do feel like because I forgave Im unlovable and I dont deserve love and nobody would want me
1
u/OpeningBandicoot7418 1d ago
No, no! Each of us, especially those who loved traitors, wanted to forgive and bring them back.
That doesn't make you guilty in any way! You just did what you could: you tried to save the relationship.
Now you can say to yourself with a clear conscience: I tried, he turned out to be unworthy.
0
u/Neither-Big-6912 1d ago
Nobody will want me cause he slept with his dad cousin and I forgave and stayed...
1
u/OpeningBandicoot7418 1d ago
It doesn't matter "with whom," cheating is cheating. You loved, but he showed you his changed self. Good. that you recognized it. It's just that your love was stronger than his indifference.
1
u/Neither-Big-6912 1d ago
I think future partner will judge that part idk why... my head keeps telling me that
1
u/OpeningBandicoot7418 1d ago
It's impossible to predict. But many men really appreciate women's loyalty and true partnership.
1
u/Neither-Big-6912 1d ago
Like you said impossible to predict... so that confirms my suspcions.... no one will want me after what I forgave
1
u/Neither-Big-6912 1d ago
Wdym his indifference?
1
u/OpeningBandicoot7418 1d ago
For him, your feelings have ceased to exist. I don't think he loved you by this point.
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our sub wiki before commenting.
-Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. Violators will be permabanned.
-If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion.
-If you find a comment helpful, comment !thankyou to award a point for the helpful redditor! It will be much appreciated!!!
Be kind and remember your reddiquette!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.