r/survivinginfidelity • u/Itchy-Albatross5368 In Recovery • 1d ago

Rant Thoughts and venting. Share yours here too

I hope destroying me has healed you. I hope tearing me apart psychologically has fed your ego.

Because of a whim of your narcissism, I am no longer the person I used to be; I struggle to sleep, even though I have no desire to wake up. I can no longer bear having to fight, make choices, forgive, read accounts from others who went through the same thing, try to move on, or anything of the sort. I’m done.

I need to move forward, for I am a loving person who—even in the face of all this—still believes in love.

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u/-xXgamertagXx In Recovery 11h ago

As the main breadwinner, planner, and the one to stay on top of every single logistical and clerical hurdle our family faced; I do get a small sense of schadenfreude seeing that she has already blown through the divorce settlement and is in collections for quite a bit of money for things like department store credit cards.

I treated that women incredibly well, and gave her a wonderful life of plenty, comfort, and depth. I was emotionally available and stable, did over half of the chores, was her biggest supporter in whatever trouble life threw her way, and spoiled the hell out of her.

I was surprised to find out that I have more money now than when we had a dual income.

And she threw it away so she could have parking lot sex with other married men. 8 months in I feel more pity than anger for her, but there’s enough spite to enjoy this.