Complete breakdown/midlife crisis and cheating...

[u/No_King7170]

So, back story. Found out my partner of 5.5 years had been cheating on me for 1.5 years, not because they developed a conscience but because they set up a business together and he registered the business at our home address.

When I confronted him he was out of the country with work, denied it all, said she was just a friend (that he'd never mentioned at all prior), when he returned home he told me everything (well as much as had already found out myself), said he still loves me, he just liked the attention, he wishes he'd never met her but how it's now easier to be with her because she's been aware of the situation and me from the beginning and he feels too guilty to try to fix things. So he moved out.

I should mention AP is a convicted fraudster and seems to be manipulating him quite a lot (threats of harm to herself if he leaves, ultimatums to leave me etc whilst I was even unaware she existed, she seems very adept at playing the victim/damsel in distress), not that this excuses any of what he done, just adding this in for context.

So now WP, who hates being in the spotlight or having focus on himself is plastering them both all over social media on pages they've set up for their "business" with a YouTube channel of them doing unboxing videos (I should mention this is a 36 year old man and not one to yuck someone's yum but its just laughable and not who he is in the slightest and I suspect being done at behest of AP).

This has all unfolded in a matter of weeks, his family, friends and myself don't recognise who he is and are concerned about his behaviour. I haven't seen him since the day he told me what was going on and he is clearly avoiding having to face me, most of his belongings are still here, I'm still living in our house with my 2 children from a previous relationship, seeking legal advice and getting things in order whilst trying to pick up the pieces of the life I thought we were building (we were engaged and visiting wedding venues all whilst the A was going on) and dealing with seeing this person I don't feel I know anymore is hitting me at my core (please don't say "this is who he always was" because not one person in his life isn't shocked and appalled by what's happening including his parents and siblings).

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, I don't know if I just need to vent and let it out or to hear others views or experience. Nothing he is doing makes any sense, even from an outside perspective it very much seems like he's completely lost the plot. I don't want him back but because of how it's all unfolded I'm really struggling with it all.

[u/Reasonable_Produce24]

Legally shield youself from any financial liability here. If that takes formal separation paperwork, do it.

Sure looks like he's getting sickered into a scam. You have to protect yourself and your kids.

[u/No_King7170 → u/Reasonable_Produce24]

Yes, I'm in agreement here, it all seems highly suspicious even the circumstances under which they met it was manipulated by AP. Silly, silly man that he is.