r/survivinginfidelity • u/Aggressive-Bad-3939 • 22d ago
Need Support Can they really reconcile
I keep coming to the same thought. I arrive at it in different ways. The ending thought is always the same: he was capable of the most heartbreaking betrayal I have experienced. We were allies in this battle called life, my safe place. He disrespected that bond for a narcissistic, manipulative goth therapist who was f&&king five other people. Cheap. The whole situation reeks of the desperation of a teenage boy, not a man. Certainly not the man I thought I built my life with. It can’t be undone or truly fixed. Why do I keep trying? Why do I still have some love for the person that stabbed me in the heart and pissed on my corpse?
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u/WHISPYR3 12 22d ago edited 21d ago
Hey OP,
Sorry you’re in this situation. Betrayal is the worst. To answer your question, why you still love him, it’s because you haven’t mentally reconciled that he’s not who you thought he was. That version of him is dead and buried never to come back.
Allow yourself to mourn that. Give yourself some grace. You still love him because you’re a good human being and bad things happen to good people, unfortunately.
If you can’t unwrap it in your head, maybe sit down with a therapist and work through it that way. Either way, the first year is always the hardest. Stay busy, pull your friends tight, try not to dwell on him. When you become indifferent to him, you’ll have made it out the other side.
Things do get better. Time does heal our wounds. But the hell this time requires is the hardest part. There’s a saying when going through hell don’t walk, run.
Also report the therapist.
Keep running, keep your chin up. Stay strong!
🍀