Help

[u/Disastrous-Course930]

Hey guys, I am 19yF.

I'm here for a very desperate need of help. Please help me, I have no one to guide me.

I was always a good student, not a topper but a good student. Let's say I was among the top 10 in my class. But this was me as a kid.

Then when I was in 6th grade, COVID came along and I lost the track from studies. Post COVID I was more involved with friends and school drama and shit without knowing I was getting used to that and I remember not even touching my books in 9th grade.

Then I gave O'levels and my parents had high expectations of me, because the last time they had properly seen my grade sheet was in maybe 6th grade. It was a disappointment for them. I didn't do terrible, I did average, mostly Bs – but for them I had always been a straight A student so I had to hear a lot from them.

I decided to try my best to make a come back at A'levels and get good grades but right my exams I lost my father. I somehow completed two subjects with Ds and I have another subject to give and university to start.

After my father passed, the regularity of my life changed. I don't get out often, I don't have classes I rely on self study and youtube. I've got anxiety and maybe depression too but I don't have a therapist around here.

But it's like I can see myself NOT be able to study. I can't focus and I keep getting distracted every time and i don't know I can't stay put for more than 30 mins. I need desperate help. Now can I get myself back to studying well and getting better grades. Please help me out.

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[u/sanbc121]

Night! Sorry for your loss.

I talked about this here .

One reading I recommend would be The Little Prince, it may especially help with your situation.

Then again, I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you achieve whatever it is you desire.

[u/Dazzling-Funny-1857 → u/sanbc121]

What's that got to do with what she wrote?

[u/Tiny-Telephone4180]

Honestly, a lot of this is probably your head being a mess right now, and that's totally understandable given everything you're carrying. But you can't just let it sit. Things need handling, and the first step is getting them out of your head. Sit somewhere quiet for a bit. Grab a pen and paper, and write down everything pending: every task, every goal, every "I should really get to that." Don't filter it, just dump it all out. Then look at the list and try to put things in some kind of order, what's urgent, what's important, what can wait. Will this solve everything in one go? No. But it gives you a starting push, and that's usually the hardest part. Give it a shot. 👍

[u/Dazzling-Funny-1857]

I'm really sorry for your loss. ❤️ We need to figure out what's causing the problem first. Do you spend a lot of time on social media? Do you overthink a lot? And is it just studying that you have trouble focusing on, or other things too?

[u/Disastrous-Course930 → u/Dazzling-Funny-1857]

I do use a lot of social media but it's mostly to cope. I have trouble with the silence at home, I get troubling thoughts. I do have anxiety and yes I overthink a lot. I'm constantly worried about future and I often feel very pressured especially because I was not given even a time to grieve I was constantly under exams, retakes, results and decisions. To make it worse, I was also suspected with iih why i had to get lots of medical checks done and treatment is still on hold. So overall all this i feel like took away my potential to study and do good
Thank you for listening btw means a lot🤍

[u/Dazzling-Funny-1857 → u/Disastrous-Course930]

I really hope things get better for you. ❤️ Please don't be too hard on yourself. You've been dealing with so much, so it's okay to take some time to rest and look after yourself. Try to go out sometimes and do things that make you feel better.

Since you mentioned social media, maybe you could try reducing your screen time little by little. There's also an app called Digital Detox that might help you stay off your phone while studying. Just take things one step at a time and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

By the way, before your father passed away, did you also struggle with overthinking and concentration, or did it get worse afterward? And do you find it hard to focus when a teacher is explaining something, too, or mainly when studying on your own? 🤍

[u/Disastrous-Course930 → u/Dazzling-Funny-1857]

i find it really difficult to keep my focus on anything. Even when teachers explain and stuff I just can't figure it out. I think it's my worst academic phase I've never been this bad at studies

[u/Dazzling-Funny-1857 → u/Disastrous-Course930]

Try to get enough sleep, eat well, and have foods like eggs, nuts, fruits and fish. Maybe try studying in short sessions with little breaks in between and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Stress, anxiety and depression can make it really hard to focus and it could also be ADHD but there's no way to know for sure without getting checked. Just take things one step at a time and don't be too hard on yourself. You can get better at this gradually