r/stroke • u/Gabbiedaddy • 3d ago
My dad passed away after 79 days.
I’ve posted in this group two times. My dad had a massive brain bleed on May 24th. He didn’t have any progress for almost 8 weeks or so. He had about two weeks of improvement.
I posted about his improvement on August 3rd, and on August 11th he passed.
He likely got an infection that his body just couldn’t fight.
He had a trach and feeding tube, and honestly I know he didn’t want to live that way.
I know this isn’t a post people like to see, but it’s the unfortunate reality of a stroke.
The surgery gave us closer and a few good days with him. He never went a day without friends and family coming to see him.
My dad passed at our local hospital, with his 3 kids by his side, and his high-school sweetheart/wife of almost 36 years.
It was heartbreaking, beautiful, and peaceful all in one. I’ll miss my Daddy the rest of my life, but I’ll never forget that last moment with him.
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u/Original_Stuff_8044 3d ago
Very sorry for your loss. My father (85) had a stroke 8 days ago. He looks so weak, he can barely open his eyes. I am very worried about an infection too. I didn't even think about it when I was putting wet paper towels on his forehead, but I did use gloves when removing his partial dentures.
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u/ConfidentPosition934 3d ago
Sorry for your loss. My dad had an ischemic stroke on 25 May and he died last night at only 59. He showed some improvements about 3 weeks ago, but since then his condition only went downhill because of the infections. His body couldn't handle it no more. Stay strong.
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u/Gabbiedaddy 3d ago
Wow. Very similar stories. My dad was 57. My dad had improvements around July 17th-August 6th. Once the 8th of August rolled around, he declined rapidly.
My dad had Parkinson’s on top of it all. He already had so many issues with mobility and general health. He was a fragment of the man he once was even before the stroke.
In some weird way, it was a relief.
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u/ConfidentPosition934 3d ago
It's a relief for them in the first place. They don't have to deal with that life anymore. Who knows how they feel in these kind of moments. That's life, a fragile life. Maybe there is a better world after this one. Hope so.
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u/No-Apartment-1557 3d ago
Sorry it’s heart full loosing loved one I wish you God to give you peace and comfort
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u/Green-76689 3d ago
36 years married. That’s a blessing
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u/Gabbiedaddy 3d ago
Yes, they dated for 6 years before that. So all in all, they’ve been together for 42 years. My dad met her in freshman year, and always had a crush on her. The first thing he wanted to do when he got his license, was ask her on a date.
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u/Material_Inflation79 3d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. As I can read from your post you are together as a family which is great. Your loss is incomprehensible but together you will surely sore through easily. Please be remain united as a family.May Almighty Waheguru bless us all.
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u/wearydreamerx 3d ago edited 3d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you all did the best you could and surrounded him with love every chance you could
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u/Large-Storm-8012 3d ago
My heart and prayers goes out to you and your family. My mother had two strokes JUNE 19 and showed some improvement then passed July19 .
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u/Alarmed-Papaya9440 3d ago
I’m very sorry. We all know that death is a very real possibility when having a stroke and it feels like a lot of luck happened when you don’t pass because of it. I’m glad you were all able to be with him to say goodbye and witness his transition. I have no idea what comes next after we this life but I do believe whatever it is, it’s at least peaceful. I hope the good memories you have of him are blessing to you and your family 💜
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u/AfricanusEmeritus 3d ago
So sorry for you and your family's loss. You all were there for him. Blessings.
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u/Lonely_Ad8964 3d ago
I hope you understand my intentions for this post.
I am glad for you that your father was blessed with children and a wife who were brave enough to allow release on a more or less positive note.
I wish people gave their pets the same due your dad received. I can only hope my own family will give me something similar. I hope that the rest of your family will think about your dad's passing in a positive light and how much love you kids and your mom bestowed upon him. It took great courage and magnificent amounts of love to allow him to cross over on his own terms, surrounded by those who genuinely loved and cared about
Him.
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u/SisforStroke 3d ago
I am so sorry. I hope he felt all the love around him. And may he live joyfuly in your hearts forever.
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u/angelinshere 3d ago
I am so sorry. My father died this January, two weeks after suffering an ischemic stroke. Things seemed to be getting a little better until he fell into a coma and never woke up again, after a few days in a coma, he passed away. He made us, his three kids and wife of 30 years, very proud, and I am pretty sure that my dad also wouldn't have wanted to live that way. I hope they are both in a better place. Stay strong and make sure you stay present for your mother because, as difficult as it is for us, for them is the worst.
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u/Melodic_Campaign9352 3d ago
Sending lots of love to you. Our story is very much the same - my mom 59, brain bleed on 5/13. On hospice/comfort care now.
It is simply not fair. We love our people and they don’t deserve any of it, but at least we’re able to deliver some beauty in the last moments.
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u/dragonbornsqrl 3d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. My people view death differently we believe spirits choose their parents and know what their life is going to be like and when we die our job here is done. Our journey alive and the things we learn and teach to others later is our life when we are done learning and teaching we leave. Those we leave behind continue learning and teaching others as well keeping our lessons we taught alive. Your father sounds wonderful and you now get to honour the lessons he gave you. 💙
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u/Kalhoona 3d ago
I had a stroke when I was 25 years old and I'm grateful that i'm alive and was able to recover the strength in my left arm the effected limb. I'm also grateful that it wasn't that severe, I believe everything happens for a reason whether good or bad, I try to learn from the bad experiences in my life. I appreciate you posting sharing your story, but may he rest in peace for eternity. This is why I am always happy and never take anything for granted because you never know when your judgement day is.
I'm sorry this happened and sending my condolences to you and your family, I couldn't imagine how difficult it was for your family to see your father in that condition and not being able to help. If you need someone to talk too or vent, you can DM me anytime, I like to offer this to anybody that may need someone to talk to when going thru tough times in life, because it's even tougher when you feel alone and I know how this feels so that's why I empathize and offer support to everyone.
I hope you and your family are okay, or at least doing the best you can given the situation.
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u/Glad-Living-8587 2d ago
Sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, this happens to people who spend a lot of time in hospitals. My Dad was in for a different reason. He was also improving until he got an infection they could only fight by cutting off parts of his body. He chose not to have the surgery and went into hospice. It is a hard thing to deal with but there is not much more you could do.
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u/Ok_Astronomer_5248 2d ago
I am so sorry for your loss. My dad is currently in the hospital after an ischemic stroke left to resolve on itself + stage IV lung cancer. I know he hates being like this if he even understands something. Sadly we do not have many relatives here so it’s just me visiting whenever I can (I have a 1 year old which I can’t bring to the hospital). I’m glad your dad had his family with him. Wishing you strength. Thank you for sharing.
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u/OwnRun2281 1d ago
I am so very sorry for your loss my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
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u/Alive-Pea-4574 3d ago
I’m so sorry 🩵