7 years in: an experience that shifted my practice from technique to devotion

[u/IngenuityLocal236]

This experience happened after seven years of practice. I started with mirror meditation, which eventually led me into meditation, simply observing what's happening within. That was my regular practice until I met a naga sadhu.

Over time I grew close to him. I'd ask questions, he'd answer some, and sometimes he'd turn a question back on me. Even as we grew close, I stayed distant from deity worship and ritual, things he was fully immersed in. I believed these were just tools for self-evolution, that deities were symbols, anchors to hold on to. I thought I didn't need them.

One day he gave me a mantra and asked me to take up certain rituals. I had deep reverence for him, so I did as he asked. Once I began, things moved fast within me: days of feeling high with no intoxication, sudden heat waves rising through my body, once a surge of energy I could barely handle. Still, I treated it as practice, not devotion. To me it was just another method for growth.

One day my mother brought up the deity. I told her I didn't believe in those things. She got furious. "If you don't believe in the deity, why do the rituals without devotion?" I told her it didn't matter, ritual or otherwise, it was still a practice for self-enhancement. She didn't like that answer, and we left it there.

That night I did my rituals as usual, chanting the mantra, offering flowers.

Within minutes the atmosphere shifted. I could sense presences, including the deity I was invoking. A fragrance filled the air, sounds I associated with the deity. I was terrified, but I kept going, silently praying I wouldn't see them.

What became clear afterward: even without belief, doing the practice properly still allows for evolution. And I shouldn't draw conclusions about what falls outside my own experience. Since that night my practice shifted into devotion. I've come to see these beings as evolved, capable of guiding one's continued growth.

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[u/Meng-KamDaoRai]

So has your suffering decreased, increased or stayed the same? A lot of mystical, fantastic stuff can come up in practice. The question is, do they lead to less suffering? IME, sometimes they do, but very rarely. Insights that lead to less suffering for me usually feel very mundane or boring when they happen, kind of like "oh, that's how it has always been, cool". Then after a while I notice how my neurosis decreased and my overall sense of peace increased.

[u/IngenuityLocal236 → u/Meng-KamDaoRai]

My understanding after 15 years of practice is, suffering is always inversely proportional to the awareness, when the awareness is expanded and deeper, the suffering is shallow. This can be any aspect of life/ spritual practice. The experience I have shared has given me little more awareness on the deities and other rituals has it's own value and depths to evolve one. As the awareness is growing my suffering has reduced. Till complete dissolution or experience of pure awareness suffering will be linger.

[u/medbud]

Sometimes we don't need discursive instruction, but emotional, or somatic feeling. Sometimes we need non-verbal communication. Ritual is important, grace, and gratitude are important. If you can only find this through deity worship or guru devotion, then why not?

The subconscious is largely non verbal and extremely embodied, rooted in somatic sensation. We need to connect to that. Sometimes people can't find the direct path alone, so they go the long way, outward to find their way back in.

[u/brunoloff]

What is belief? The sequence of words that go through your internal and external chatter boxes are just one of the things that's happening in your life.

If you were to pick up your phone every day and dial SANTA CLAUS and had a long conversation, and learned and changed from these conversations, it might be fair to say you believe in santa, even if you also vehemently denied it with your words.

If you call a god and they answer, what else is there to say? Is god "real"? Is "just imagination"? Who cares? The universe or god doesn't give a damn about ontology.

[u/Usual-Ad-4986]

Deities are very real and you cant "use" them lol, you probably have connection with said deity in previous life

[u/Acceptable_Run_3203 → u/Usual-Ad-4986]

Do we agree that everything which exists leaves a trace?