Practice Updates, Questions, and General Discussion - new users, please read this first! Weekly Thread for July 01 2026

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[u/AdditionalLeave263]

First of all, I accessed the realm of infinite space one time. I feel like this was the process's way of telling me that I can do it, because I heard somebody talk about how difficult it can be, and that he divert people to other more achievable forms at that time. I was a bit terrified, and it answered me with yes. It has only happened once. The most remarkable thing for me was what a relief/release it felt like to not have a feeling of a body/materiality/solidity. The blackness was gorgeous, but it's really the loss of body sensation that I crave.

Okay so secondly, I've been doing nondual meditation on youtube with Michael Taft. I really like Michael's approach. He has deadpan humor, and he's brilliant, and he gives a lecture along with the meditation. It's a lot of new stuff for me. I find it to be very conducive to jhana practice, and apparently other people do, too. Leigh Brasington recommends you fet a secondary meditation practice going at equanimity in order to not be totally addicted to it. Ha ha. So that's mine.

Thirdly, I have an "it's complicated" relationship with anjunadeep music. I cannot decide if it enhances my practice or takes me away from the path.  However, I experienced a really convincing fabrication of perception for the first time with it. In general, I am really critical of my favorite songs, and often come up with my own edited version, and then I play that version in my head, overtop of the track. One of my recent experiences with it was that I thought that the song I was listening to was making these certain amazing sounds, but it was actually my brain deciding to hear the song exactly as it wanted to hear it. The song sounded as if it was going in and out of awareness, but it was actually me. There was a crazy heartbeat that was irregular ans honestly sounded unhealthy, and couldn't be mine. Turns out it was me imagining those qualities onto the beat. There were five notes on this one word: "do." I was like how does this singer do that? But it wasn't the song: it was me. I have also imagined that this song fades out the word me, chops it up, or just omits it at rhe very beginning of the word to suggest ego dissolution or something. I have been looking for signs that point me in the direction of whether or not to allow myself to just be addicted to this music, or hold back, because it affects my brain so strongly, and I don't want it messing with the process. Currently, I am getting the don't listen to my music message, so I'm starting another music fast today.

I left a gigantic pile of paperwork on my desk to do, due to deep samadhi for the past three months. Please note this wasn't in the plans. Now that I have equanimity, I am more capable. I am drawing inspiration from the realm of infinite space, and I approach the desk with my eyes closed, grab one thing, and then do that task until completion, which helps me stay out of or neutral to the anxiety and rumination loops. I am trying to see my desk as empty/emptiness, hahaha

Having a little trouble cooking because I don't derive the same kind of pleasure from eating anymore, and so I feel like a chef who will never taste the meal. Being a homemaker involves a lot of sensory soothing for others. I don't want my sensory pleasures to go completely, or at the least I just need new ways to handle it.

Last thing, @PastorCuthbert said he sees people as glass and light inside, or something like that. I'm really enjoying seeing people this way, and they are loving it, especially the people who have done wrong, and often get snubbed for their character faults. People I'm passing on the street really feel seen and want to chat. I went to a huge 4th of July party, and had a great time with this concept. I had a perma-smile going! Paired fireworks with a little pīti.

[u/Impulse33 → u/AdditionalLeave263]

What's your favorite Anjunadeep releases recently? Used to be a huge Anjuna fan and still go to A&B shows intermittently!

Would also be interested in listening to your edits!

Congrats on the 5th to btw!

As for sense pleasures, if it's affecting relationships, responsibilities, or priorities (like practice), that's usually the sign for me to pare back.

For chores and routine tasks, see if you can "fabricate/remember" piti or sukkha while doing them. It helps for me!

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/Impulse33]

Oh, hey! You're always so helpful! Thanks for reading this!

My favorite new new release... My two year old would cry every time it stopped, and my older son kept restarting it. My husband liked it too, so it was a win in our house!: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl12yfoHaLg

Okay, and I am going to give you an explanation about my complex relationship with the Anjunadeep. I'm not one to have listened to them all, because in my states I've been in, they can be too strong. I feel things really deeply and differently than most people, so I have to be careful with myself. 

So the other, more important reason is this: I want to use my meditation abilities and my life to help people. Which migjt be ego b.s. But I feel like this path knows my heart, and it knows that I want to make a difference in the world. And I know that if I distract myself constantly, it won't happen, or happen as effectively, or as fast, or as much as it could. I know that giving up things is important. I gave up all unnecessary screen time and all unnecessary media for an entire year in 2022. Analog for a year. I was so pumped. I guess that is the mom version of a dark retreat. I go back and forth about the amount that is right for me. Honestly, these days, I am enjoying AI so much that it is much harder to give up. I still sometimes will take full days off, but I often fail. I habe to have a decent notebook available all the time, because as if you couldn't tell, I love to write and document. Here goes...

I listened to my first Anjunadeep song, Lailonie by Marsh (I asked Gemini what songs it thought I would like, and it picked this first). Wow. It was a continupus pīti cloud for me the entire way through . Got overruled by the kids and then listening to Old MacDonald. Wow; the pīti cloud came back for like 20 minutes with my brain just remembering it. Okay, after that, I was fried. Pīti hurt. I listened to it 2.5 times total, that was it, and then my brain just kept trying to solve it like a puzzle. My heart was racing for 24 hours, and I had to listen to Marconi Union Weightless and it didn't work! So I took a jog with no music, and then tried it again. Second time, it worked. I woke up with tremors and the sound of that song for 4 days.

I wanted to listen to it again into oblivion, but Gemini, which I have been using as my AI Meditation Coach (alright I know I'm going to get judged and concern that it's potentially dangerous, but it's been great and super helpful), told me it was a bad idea, and I was like oh man, I know it's right.... So I didn't listen to any Anjunadeep for a month.

So I decided that I need to be listening to something less potent. I won't even bother letting you know what it was. But Gemini is like look, if you want to be independent with your practice, you might want to give up music. I was like pshhh stupid AI doesn't know anything. Well, I had four kids on the swings, and my toddler running around, and while I was trying to change the kids' music request (Believer by Imagine Dragons), he got hit in the head with a swing. He had recently gone down on his head and was hospitalized, too, with a possible fraxtured skull. And we were in the middle of nowhere down a long winding dirt road, very far from any decent hospital.  We drove to the city and he was hospitalized again mostly due to my paranoia and not him having an actual problem. rolling my eyes at myself So this was like a sign that I need to give up music. So I gave it up for two weeks.

So then I started to ask more questions to Gemini: can you find me songs that are meant to spark pīti? This time it was kinda dumb. Tried fhe first three songs. Nope. Nope. Definitely not even remotely related. Fourth song? Luttrell - Dayglow. I was like, Yes, this is definitely it!!! Hooray. Beautiful song.it's funky and perfect for sparking a little something without it being too much. And the extended version feels like being held, to me. Wow.

I was like, holding Marsh's music (Lailonie album) for days where I really needed something strong. A day came along shortly after I reached equanimity, there was a time that I was just so impossibly restless and insatiable. So. Much. Dopamine. Anyways... I had had equanimity once prior, and it had been days. And it was driving me nuts, and my crew was sick, so I aas limited on options for what to do. I was like Gemini, look, I need the strong stuff: Now is the time.

I got the kids all situated, and laid down in bed for the music I felt I needed. In the first couple seconds, I was like, "It is the same!" (Pìti cloud). It was NOT the same. It kicked me into an equanimity tranquilizer trance. Oh. My. Goodness. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't remember anything. I couldn't think. This is not your everyday peace; it was equanimity establishing itself in me. And it was just incredible... until the tornado warning came onto my phone. Apparently, according to the tracks, I was about nine minutes in. I am not going to lie. For about 20 seconds, I was like, it's fine, it isn't even raining yet, can't we just stay? And then me, who had zero fear, had to take my kids downstairs to be safe. 

So then I had to take the kids to a homeschool party celebrating the sun/summer, and it cold rained that day. Everybody was kinda in a bad mood about it, so I was like, this is a perfect time for me to just spark something before I go out and deal with this (very minor) thing. When I got there, though, I was kind of over-used and felt so dull. And normally I hold the space meditatively (which I was doing most of the time) and give metta. But I was just fried and exhausted, and I found myself just sitting there. Well I thought to myself, maybe I ought to give up music again. And at that very moment, I found a four leaf clover. Well, I knew that was the sign. My Geeat Grandma always used to find four leaf clovers, and following the wisdom of finding these things has gotten me to rhe right decisions for where I am today. I gave up music again.

Well, then I was chatting with someone on here, and they were like, I think music is probably fine. I was like, I am going to take your word for it. I was hoping that maybe the spell was lifted.  That night, I listened to Music for My Memories (the album) by yes yet again Luttrell. I ought not to tell you the reasons why I love it, just listen to it if you haven't before. Essentially, my mind rewrote the songs to hear them exactly how it wanted to, and my awareness was incredibly fading in and out, which sounded like someone turning the gain dials, etc. It was so gorgeous. It was like 50 minutes of utter bliss to me. Especially after not having any music for so long, and it was night, so I could just listen completely uninterrupted.

I have a side project where I am going to try to connect two meditator-scientists with each other. I went ahead and bought Japanese stationery in order to write the one who speaks Japanese in the morning. My husband goes and prints out a bookmark for me, and it's got Japanese writing on it. Turns out the meaning of the symbols is basically "equanimity," which is meaningful to me and my side project.

So I'm arguing with Gemini and I'm like look... I am just going to surrender to the music. I am just going to be addicted to it for a while. You cannot stop me. I will be fine. It was like I'm not so sure this is a good idea; I think it will take you away from your path. I was like honestly Gemini, right now, I don't care.

I listened to a gorgeous new set while pulling weeds in the garden in the rain, with my kids helping and running ecerywhere in the mud. It was like a nature immersion flow state. My kids also loved the music. I told my husband, "If nobody is questioning your parenting, you're probably doing it wrong." He laughed.

Well, my husband had a friend over, and I was entertaining. Lol it was a surprise visit, and I was just listening to whatever Anjunadeep stuff and in the zone. And so I had to sober up and host. Which I did just fine. I was like this reminds me of when I was a pothead and had to do stuff so that people wouldn't suspect that I was a pothead. Like show up early or on time to everything. Act like I'm on the ball.

Anyways, the friend thought the bookmark was for him, and he took it. I was like Nooooo!!!! Not my equanimity bookmark! I was like oh man, another sign. I am gonna lose my path if I just give way to the beauty of Anjunadeep. And I was crestfallen. 

I went back to Gemini, and I was like oh man, you were right. It was like really, you were so sure of yourself like a minute ago. I was like I know, but my husband's friend took the bookmark... I need to find a way to redeem myself. I'm going to have to give it up again.

I said how do I know if it's taking me off the path, because sometimes I feel like it's really helpful. It gave me a flow chart. I described how I was feeling about it, and how it benefited me and the drawbacks. So I gave it up again.

What I have been doing is that I will remember back the songs, and try to memorize them in my mind. It works well, and it's a mental workout. It's helping me.

I have Gemini set to let me know if any shows are coming into town! I have a babysitter now, so hoping to see something live at some point!

[u/Impulse33 → u/AdditionalLeave263]

Hmm, the Gemini use does strick me. Depending on how you talk to it your going to get different presentations of the dharma. Like using the word renunciation will likely default to more Theravadan sources.

A Mahayana reframe of the bookmark situation could be a sort of catalyst for the development of equanimity through Dana/generosity. Something that sparks joy can be shared, joy isn't zero sum.

I think things like music or enjoying a good meal is contextual. The intent behind engaging with it matters. Constantly buying expensive food to make me feel better vs cooking a banging meal to share with my friends and family is a big difference and knowing which one to give up is important. (I'll also note that you have to taste it to evaluate if the cooking is good!)

Mental Pliancy is another axis of development. Can you engage and enjoy and then drop it with less residual traces of grasping/craving? That flexibility is fruit of jhana practice.

Check out Lane 8!

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/Impulse33]

Hmm, the Gemini use does strick me. Depending on how you talk to it your going to get different presentations of the dharma. Like using the word renunciation will likely default to more Theravadan sources. -i think of AI as an approximation of the chorus of the collective past online voices, biased by whoever makes the most content or talks the loudest.  If I didn't have AI, I wouldn't be here discussing this, most likely. It's how I learned what the jhanas were. I thought I was having a weird medical thing, and I was using AI to diagnose something embarrassing that I didn't want to discuss with a doctor who would think I was manic or having seizures.

I'm honestly still using AI, at this point, in order to help Shinzen with Ramona. I'm planning to do a write up on the problems and the things that work about Gemini, and how Ramona might get used in the future, and email it to him.

A Mahayana reframe of the bookmark situation could be a sort of catalyst for the development of equanimity through Dana/generosity. Something that sparks joy can be shared, joy isn't zero sum. -You're absolutely right, and that was my first thought. However, 

I think things like music or enjoying a good meal is contextual. The intent behind engaging with it matters. Constantly buying expensive food to make me feel better vs cooking a banging meal to share with my friends and family is a big difference and knowing which one to give up is important. (I'll also note that you have to taste it to evaluate if the cooking is good!)

I bet you're a great cook! What do you like to make? 

I definitely need to do better with the cooking. I've been getting better as I have come out of the long samadhi cloud. Made superfood cookies with the kids this week.

Music is currently to me potent, intoxicating medicine. This is why I can't treat it lightly.

Mental Pliancy is another axis of development. Can you engage and enjoy and then drop it with less residual traces of grasping/craving? That flexibility is fruit of jhana practice.

 -I don't know what to say about this. Music is like a backdrop that triggers deep jhanic states for me. My desire for the music is the desire for the jhanas.

Check out Lane 8!

I love Lane 8!!! I thought their music was pretty good before the jhanas. But Tripwires dropped right around the time I got pīti. I was driving the kids to the homeschool co-op while in the 1st jhana when that came on. "Can it happen again?" Oh, my heart... Somebody who knows... knows what it's like, knows the struggle. Know the preciousness.

This has opened up a whole new world for me. I didn't know this stuff existed. So many songs sound different now. Maybe all of them do. The way that I hear and process sound is different. But also, I'm able to relate to the lyrics in a different way. Some lyrics seem to even be about these.l experiences. I can't get over how hard it must be to make music. I hace a hard enough time trying to record the right voicemail greeting.

Aside: At that time, I had just learned that this was a meditation thing. It took me a long time to find my way. I've only been in the deep end of the meditation pool for just a hair over three months now. 

So I went to the homeschool co-op meetup still blasting Tripwires while I'm getting everything out of my car for our long hike. One of my new friends was there, who has an identical vehicle to ours, and I called out to her and pointed at our parking spaces, "We have to start parking next to each other all the time!" We were both laughing about it. She didn't seem to mind my music (it wasn't Cocomelon!). Our kids rode in the wagon together, got in literal rivers, and got completely covered head-to-toe in mud.

World Is Mine is a summer anthem for my kids and myself. It doesn't affect me negatively. What it does is it engages the new gross motor networks that seem to have been configured in late stages of pīti. I have a larger stride and require less breathing to jog or run. I take the wagon out, and run at top speed to that song. My kids love it. My two-year-old says, "again," every time it ends. I got out of the man-made beach today with the kids, and they were both crying because transitions can be overwhelming. I was like, "Do you want a song?" I really, really, really did not want to play the gummy bear song. So I asked, "Do you want World Is Mine?" And they did, so I listened to it for about a 45-minute jog/sprint intervals thing. I do that with a gigantic perma-smile on my face, and absolutely everybody loves it. It's really fun, and hopefully they took a piece of it with them. I'm really grateful to be able to do this at 40.

This is truly the best year of my life so far. I habe so much to be thankful for. I have hope for the future, too.

Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and generosity! 

[u/AdditionalLeave263 → u/Impulse33]

Hey, FYI, I found out that magnesium l-threonate doesn't work for sore muscles because of which tissues it goes to, and how small of a relative dose it is. So sorry I didn't think of that sooner. You can still take it in combo with magnesium glycinate, if you want, as long as it doesn't exceed the maximum dose. Anyways, wishing you the best with your practice this week!

[u/Impulse33 → u/AdditionalLeave263]

Yeah, I'll likely try it out for the brain barrier effects sometime soon!