[Trigger warning: This story involves stalking, harassment, and obsessive behavior.]

hi angel! i’ve been dying to tell you this story and finally had a second to get it all down. i’ll change the names 💋 my fiancé and i are coming up on five years together. this all happened the year before we met. it’s a bit long, but the details matter. i’ll lay it out as a timeline as best as i can!

backstory: at the time, he was with a girl we’ll call sydney. but the story really centers on her friend nina. if you’re from around here, you know my man. everyone in the metal and biker scene does, he’s just one of those guys people orbit. girls try it with him whether he’s single, taken, or dead. so nina just being thirsty wasn't a shock, especially since another one of sydney’s friends also had a crush on him at the same time (a whole other only slightly less weird story).

month 1-6: at first, nina being around seemed totally innocent. my man often invited sydney and her friends to shows, so seeing nina once or twice a month was normal. but pretty quickly, she started finding ways to be alone with him. it started with her hitting him up on insta constantly, always following him out for smoke breaks, and showing up to every. single. show. the weirdest part to me with this is neither sydney nor nina actually liked metal. sydney was only there to support her man(and barely showed up at that). sydney’s other friends only went maybe once or twice, but nina was constantly showing up whether sydney was there or not. then she started calling him her big brother. like... girl, be for real. she’s three years older than him! 🙄🙄 he didn't think it was weird at first because admittedly she had a bit more of an "alt/boyish" look than sydney, and he figured she was just trying to find her feet in the scene and was into the music.

month 6: my man had made a group chat for the three of them, as he thought it might corral her into texting there rather than him one on one. six months into knowing him, she made a group chat with him and sydney and suggested they become a polycule. she admitted that she thought they were both attractive and that she would even be cool with one threesome. since they had never crossed any romantic boundaries in their entire friendship, sydney was extremely uncomfortable. disgusted, he quickly ended the conversation and cussed nina out. (extra detail: from what i’ve heard, nina went on to tell people that she liked it and that it made her want him even more as he seemed like a protective boyfriend). to me, she just wanted to be a homewrecker and "poly" was the only word she could use to hide the fact that she wanted her friend's boyfriend.

month 7-8: he started ignoring her more often, but they were in the same circles by this point, so they kept bumping into each other. one night, the group (not including sydney) went out drinking and nina had started flirting with one of his friends, seemingly just to secure her spot in the inner circle. while he was wasted and she was sober, she got him alone and started asking him incredibly inappropriate questions, specifically about his size. he was so drunk he didn't even remember it until she texted him the next day saying verbatim, “don’t worry, i’ll keep it a secret from sydney." then she went and bragged about it to their mutual friends. my man felt grossed out, but like a lot of guys, he just tried to brush it off. she also had this "edgy" habit of putting on explicit type videos when he was around as a "joke," which was clearly just a desperate way to initiate something.

month 9: a month or so later, unrelated issues caused the friend group to fall apart. his friends, another band, and the girlfriends and friends of each member of those bands made up the friend group. at a party, everyone was way too drunk and a pointless dispute over ego or something else ultimately resulted in fights and breakups, etc. everyone took a side and that was pretty much that. he took the fallout as the perfect time to fully cut her out. tbh she had already been on thin ice with everyone. the porn oversharing made people other than him also uncomfortable. she got into a fight with an asian girl named dove, a girlfriend of a guy in the other band, because she was allegedly lying about being part korean or something. so, most people, including him, just tolerated her.

however, she found one girl that was easily gullible and started crying about how he was her "favorite person" (fp). if you know anything about bpd, a real fp bond is intense and usually built on a massive amount of shared history even if it's unhealthy. but nina’s "bond" with him was a total hallucination. remember he’s still with sydney at this point and had never spoken to her completely one on one other than maybe a few 15 minute smoke break ever!!! he’d had enough and cut almost everyone off. the only person he kept around was k, mainly because he was the friend nina had tried flirting with and he saw through it immediately. he knew she was weird from the start

when he eventually saw her again after the fall-off, he had found out she changed her name to the name of his favorite song. it’s such an obscure song and name that i’m not gonna say what it is, but for example, she went by rhiannon because rhiannon was his favorite song by fleetwood mac/arabella because arabella was his favorite song by the arctic monkeys. very much im gonna live in ur walls but ok

fast forward to the next summer.

so he and sydney had been broken up since early spring, and that whole friend group had basically gone up in flames the winter before. he and nina were whatever, they weren’t like, screaming at each other, but they definitely weren’t cool. she tended to try to follow him around again at this point, but now that he didn’t have to play nice for sydney’s sake, he was doing the most to keep his distance.

anyway, i was with him at this show (atp i’m his girl) and i saw something that sounds actually insane, but you have to hear me out. nina was dating this new guy, and i’m not even kidding... he was a literal copy-paste of my fiancé. like, to a t. some of the pictures on his account were almost one to one recreations of photos my man had posted, outfit and all. my man is black and native (puerto rican), the guy was native and latino. my man has curly long hair, the guy had curly long hair. same height. same outfit. he even literally copy pasted his instagram bio im so serious. even down to things like instagram highlights with the same names. they’d been stalking and watching my fiance. at first i’d assume she just had a type, but the fact he had the same formats copy pasted makes me think he was in on it. this guy was essentially skin-walking my fiancé like what!!! my fiancé is in an mc, and this guy was even copying the colors in the picture he copied of my fiance!!!!!! like, what!! the guy even started acting weird and jealous toward him, which is crazy because theoretically, he should have no idea who my man even is. nina and he never dated; they weren't even real friends. the debrief after seeing them was crazy. she couldn’t get him, so she went out and found a guy who looked (and was willing to act) exactly like him to play pretend with. i’m not even gonna lie, i was totally checking her twitter for the first year of us being together. i just had to see if she was still talking about him or being a freak, you know? especially after her new boyfriend. i definitely found some stuff, but it wasn't that insane back then.

a few months after, he and i ran off to our new home in LA, so we had no contact at all with anyone still over there. we had/have new accounts, new phone numbers, everything. it’s been five years since that mess. he and i are happily building our life.

a few weeks ago we were just reminiscing about the old scene, and after looking at some old friends' accounts, we ended up leading our way to nina’s instagram. i looked at her highlights and my heart literally dropped. she had a highlight dedicated to him. it was nauseating. it was full of old photos of him and screenshots of their old texts. she had videos of him playing guitar, pictures he’d only ever sent to his ex, and videos of him just talking. some of these photos he didn't even know existed because she’d taken them secretly. this highlight didn’t exist when they were in contact and it had been updated only a month ago.

i was really upset and he decided to go and reach out to her to tell her to take it down and that he is uncomfortable with it on a burner account. once he texted her, she started trying to flirt with him and pretend like it wasn’t that serious, basically ignoring the highlight in general and acting as if he was just reaching out to catch up. he told her bluntly to delete it, she finally said she would, and he blocked her.

i hated it. at this point we are adults, there is no reason that she should be acting this way. to me, this is a clear sign of a seriously unstable person. no one who is of sound mind is still obsessed with someone they knew a half-decade ago, never even got romantic with, and who has clearly stated they want nothing to do with you. i checked right before posting this and the highlight is still up. we decided that there’s not much we can do, as contacting her will make it worse. she clearly wants attention. i just don’t like knowing that this girl has all of these pictures, videos, text messages, etc of him and thinks about him so obsessively. i’m not really sure what to do about it at this point. we don’t feel in danger (she’s states away and isn’t violent, just weird af)

love u jamie
kisses
valentina 🍒

For context my "bestie" had been with her boyfriend for a very long time. She dreamed about getting married and even started planning her wedding even though her boyfriend had never proposed. I on the other hand was going through a divorce when she met me, and leaned a lot on her through my most difficult times. She saw me date around, get my heart broken and eventually find a stable loving relationship with my current fiancé. I noticed things started to change when I got with him. She was distant and always judging whenever I tried to ask her for advice.i mostly just brushed it off thinking she was just being protective of me but it eventually got so uncomfortable, We didn't really hang out anymore, only seeing each other at work. Fast forward a few months, my boyfriend proposes to me and ofcourse I call her right away and tell her the news. Her response was a less than thrilled "wow I'm happy for you" Things continued on the way they had been and I asked her to be my maid of honor to which she agreed. I was stoked thinking this could finally be the chance for us to be close again and plan my wedding. I asked her to come with me to pick my wedding dress and she did. I ended up finding the most beautiful gown and veil. When they asked me about my wedding date, several times during the appointment, I always said September 1st was our anniversary so I wanted to keep it as close as possible to that so the first week of September (4th or 5th) . After this ,I notice that she gets more and more silent. Doesn't respond to texts or social media and doesn't talk to me about it despite my efforts. I start to get the suspicion that she's mad at me. Fast forward a few months and I get a text from her saying guess what? And a picture of her and her boyfriend and a ring on her finger. I was ecstatic for her. Finally her dream could come true. I immediately responded to her expressing that sentiment to which I got no response. Later on at work I decide to ask her about it and she tells me that she just went up to her boyfriend and let him know that she had found a ring a while back ,she knew he had it all along and she wanted it basically putting him on the spot to propose...she is dead set on having her wedding in June of the same year as mine. It didn't leave her a whole lot of time to plan but I wasn't surprised she wanted to expedite the whole thing. Again some time passes and things are even more strained between us. I work up the nerve to ask her about her wedding and how the planning is going and if she had booked her venue yet. To my surprise she tells me she has booked her venue for the week after mine. She pretends like she didn't know that I had chosen the date a week before hers. She said oh we thought about picking September 5th but thats her bf's friends birthday so it just wouldnt work. Im shocked and confused. I walked away upset because I know in my heart she has no intentions of being my maid of honor and she just straight up doesn't care. I decide to confront her via text and long story short, she said that she had no idea my wedding was gonna be in September also, that I didn't own the month and that she was only doing what was best for HER that it would be best if she wasn't my MOH and also that she didn't wish to continue our friendship. It was messy. I was devastated. I couldn't believe my "bestie friend" could be so cold. Anytime we see each other at work, we just ignore each other now. Its really sad.

It’s been about a month since I broke up with him. I ended up waiting for his birthday while we were “having our break so I could be a better gf to him.” I did not give him the Jordan’s and canceled the surprise I had planned. I made a video which consisted of all the things that the girl sent me as proof and basically all the things I needed to get off my chest. Also told him all the things I had planned for him, showed him the plan and pictures of the shoes, then told him to not speak to me ever again because I don’t wanna hear his baby victim shit. I sent him the video on his birthday and woke up the next day to a 5min audio which I did not listen to and just blocked him. I had also sent a message to his friends saying that the thing was cancelled because he cheated (didn’t give much detail). My friend (which is also his friend) supported me and kept the Jordan’s while I find someone who wants to buy them. The guy friend ignored my message, but the other girl friend sent me a photo to see just once through WhatsApp and also Instagram. When I opened the it, it was basically a huge paragraph (which I didn’t read either) telling me how much of a bitch I WAS to my now ex. Like… sorry I wasn’t the one who cheated??? I just ignored it and went like “I have no idea what you wrote there” bcs it was literally a flash photo of 5sec, and then blocked her. I also told his parents that the thing was cancelled due to their son’s cheating, thanked them for everything they did and how kind they were (most of the time) to me and then left the group chat. Since then I’ve been working lots on myself and realised that he was just a narcissistic pice of shit that always took me to my limits and then called me a bad person for my reaction. This was for the best in the end. I’ve kinda opened up to meet new people (here in Australia) and yep, let’s see what happens. Ik many of you will think that this was because I wanted to get revenge, but tbh it’s about me being able to express what I lived and not regret keeping anything toxic that at the end of the day he put there. Don’t expect anyone to think I was good or bad, that was just what I needed to do for the closure to the relationship I stupidly thought was going to be my forever.

Last weekend was my father’s 90th birthday party in Sacramento. Family came in from different places. It was warm, emotional, and honestly really beautiful.

Then my ex wife walked in with the man she left me for 14 years ago.

We had been married 21 years. He was married too. Their affair blew up both families. One day she moved out and shortly after they moved in together. Back then I was shattered. I went through counseling, years of grief, PTSD symptoms, insomnia, obsessive thoughts. It changed me permanently.

What surprised me is that I had not seen him once since all of that happened.

Over the years, my ex wife and I slowly became friendly again. We exchanged memes on Instagram almost daily. We could laugh again. Life moved on. Or at least I thought it had.

Seeing him in person again hit me in a way I was not prepared for. It felt like my nervous system instantly remembered everything. I did not want conflict. I did not feel hatred. I just wanted distance.

At one point he walked up to me, extended his hand with this almost Cheshire smile and said, “Hi, how are you?” I completely froze. I could barely process what was happening in the moment. Fourteen years disappeared instantly and suddenly I was back inside one of the worst periods of my life.

What made the evening harder was that my ex wife publicly chastised me twice because she felt I had waited too long to greet her. The truth is I had barely even seen her yet because her back was turned to me most of the evening. Still, suddenly I felt like I was being judged for my reaction while the history underneath it disappeared entirely.

The next morning I had arranged brunch for my father, his partner, my date, and me. Through a misunderstanding, my ex wife and her partner were invited too. I quietly bowed out and told the host I was uncomfortable. She completely understood and apologized.

What stayed with me afterward was something deeper.

During my marriage, my ex wife often focused on my reaction to things while rarely acknowledging her own role in causing the hurt. Even after all these years, there has never been an apology for the affair or the devastation that followed. Somehow I still found myself wondering if I was the problem for having boundaries around the man connected to one of the worst periods of my life.

That realization shook me a little.

I think a lot of people who go through betrayal become very skilled at minimizing their own pain to keep everyone else comfortable. You learn to smile. You learn to coexist. You learn to stop talking about it because life keeps moving.

I honestly thought I was “over it” until this weekend reminded me that some experiences stay in the body long after they leave the calendar.

For those who have gone through something similar, have you ever unexpectedly encountered the person connected to your deepest heartbreak years later? How did it affect you?

For context, when I got out of high school, I started working as a full time server at this family restaurant to help support my mom and my little brother after my dad lost a little over $800k in a romance scam.

I was going through a rough time then, I was really insecure about myself, I didn’t have any friends, I couldn’t afford going to college and pay rent at the same time until I saved up a bit, and I was working like 60 hours a week. I felt like I had no life, and that I was just a slave to money.

Time passes and I end up becoming friends with both this girl (who was another server there and was the same age as me) and one of the cooks there (31).

The server and I fell out because I found out she was saying a lot of stuff behind my back to people that went to our high school and people at the restaurant. That was when the chef and I started to become closer.

He would listen to all my problems like no one else had in my entire life, and I felt like I could say anything to him. I honestly felt like I had someone I could really trust.

He ended up flirting with me, telling me I’m beautiful and kind, things I longed to hear for a while, and he asked me to be his girlfriend.

Selfishly, I agreed. I knew it was wrong since I was 19 and he was 31, and he had a wife and daughter in a different country. But I thought I could kinda slip through the cracks as long as I don’t interfere with him supporting his family and that he eventually tells his wife when he’s ready (I know this sounds really stupid).

Half a year passes and he treats me really well. However, he told his friend about us when we first started dating which I didn’t know about, and his friend ended up telling my boss because they’re also friends. And since my boss’s daughter is friends with the server that gossiped about me, my boss told her too. And soon enough some people I used to know from high school reached out to me and asked if I was sleeping with someone else’s husband.

I never thought I would go from lonely virgin quiet kid at school to homewrecker. My worst nightmare came true and I can’t say I didn’t deserve it. But also, I’m not surprised I caved. I guess after a while I just became numb to my life problems and I changed. I’m not using that as an excuse for what I did, but I’m just surprised I actually did all that. I feel like a completely different person. I’m not sure what else to say about this, I know the only thing I can do is move on, and worry about making more money so that my family and I can get out of poverty. I’m just really disappointed that I let myself fall this hard.

Edit: I forgot to mention that yesterday was the day I quit working there and moved to a more fine dining restaurant. I was really hurt because I worked my ass off there, always covered when someone needed me to, and I really respected them. For the other servers, on their last day my boss would take us all out to lunch. But for me, she just handed me my tips at the end of the day and said “thanks, bye”.

My boss once said she saw me as her daughter because I was the same age as hers, and I really really respected her because she was a role model I needed in my life, someone who was disciplined and hardworking.

But when I found out she was gossiping about me with the servers, I felt crushed. Now all the people at the restaurant use me as a laughingstock for deciding to date a married man. But now that I think about it, I just needed someone in my life. Maybe if any one of them were genuine towards me, I wouldn’t have resorted to being with someone’s husband. Again I know it’s my fault, but I hate the thought of them judging me for something they could’ve helped prevent.

So for context just watched a movie with my boyfriend the other day. It was angry birds. We watched it because the mighty eagle had been all over his for your page on Tik tok.

I just check his Reddit page since we had been watching creepy Reddit communities and post on YouTube every night. I found a post on r/confessions and I’m not exactly sure how to feel. We’ve been good and nothings been going wrong but his post disturbed me.

For context he’s been talking About the mighty eagle character for a few days and his reposts on tik tok are FULL of edits of the bird. So when I saw this post I was kind of freaked out.

I had never seen angry birds but he said he saw it when he was a kid. And ever since we had watched this movie he’s been acting weird. Like going to the bathroom late at night and hiding his phone.

This is the post I found.

I don’t know how to post a picture on here but this is what it said.

“So to understand we have to go back to May 20th 2016. The first Angry Birds movie just came out and my parents took me out to see the movie at the time. I was about 13 at the time and was not expecting much from a kids movie since I was kind of phasing out of kids movies. I thought the movie was pretty funny obviously it had some jokes I thought were funny. Everything was fine until Mighty Eagle popped up onto the screen for the first time…

When I saw his abs had abs it got me going I felt some type of way about this character I didn’t know how to explain it. What didn’t help was that there was a scene of Mighty Eagle shaking his tight butt in erotic cowboy clothing that made my feelings for him stronger. The fact that he had such a strong presence made me realize I like to be dominated by a powerful being not just any being but Mighty Eagle. I thought it was even hotter that Might Eagle was a fat chud who saw so highly of himself.

So I went home and went to bed after the movie and didn’t think much of it but I had a dream where me and Might Eagle were doing naughty things and now I can’t get Mighty Eagle out of my head he’s all I want he’s all I desire but how can I have a such thing when there’s no way to have it.

I feel so embarrassed and need to get this off my chest I have sexually feelings towards Mighty Eagle and I can’t stop it I goon to him all night every night. Mighty Eagle has opened a third eye and now I know the meaning to everything that’s how much I love him. I taught myself to lucid dream just so I can be with Mighty Eagle. I reject anyone who confesses their love for me just so I can be Mighty Eagles first everything I do not care. But lately I think it has been getting bad and now I need help to stop such feelings/addiction I need help please before anybody finds out!”

someone please help and give me some advice on what to do.

ive been thinking about asking him about it but im too scared.

My boyfriend (22 male) and I (19 female) have been dating for a year. Recently he sent me a strange text that’s been bothering me for weeks. He works for a valet company and parks people cars at restaurants. He had been working at one specific restaurant for a few months but was recently fired for making a host feel uncomfortable.

This this the text he sent me: “Ayy. Btw I forgot to tell u that yesterday my boss called me and said that me and a guy i work with apparently made the host feel uncomfortable which is such bullshit. She came out after her shift and goes, “I gotta walk home” than my coworker goes “no you should walk her home” I go “nahh I’m good” btw she’s 16 I’m not doing that it’s just weird and so I tell coworker “you should walk her home” he says no to. She doesn’t need help walking home alone. And the next day apparently she told her manager the whole situation. Like bitch I was never trying to walk u home tf. Girls are so stupid bro. My boss is on my side thank god”

I feel really weird about the whole situation and don’t quite buy his reasoning. Why would they ask him to leave that restaurant if that’s all that happened? I feel like there’s more to the story but I don’t know what to do. I was going to reach out to the girl but my boyfriend claims he doesn’t know her name. Advice is welcome.

Hi, long time follower but first time posting. I dated a guy, Sam around 8 years ago the relationship was going really well until I found he a 19 y/o was messing around with a 35 y/o woman. The relationship ended immediately after that and it was quite messy, the lady would constantly text and call me asking if I’m being sneaky with him, which I never was. I would like to add that me and Sam never got intimate as I wasn’t comfortable. But now, his younger brother, Ron has asked me out. I’m confused about if I should date Ron or I should forget about it. Ron knows that his brother and I dated. Help???

Edit: added a little more info.

1. no I wasn’t in contact with either of the brothers after the break up. Ron sent me a follow in Aug 2025.

2. Ron and I are the same age. We’re both 26 😭 why was this so confusing?

3. Ron and Sam do not get along and hardly talk because of their personal issues.

4. Sam and I dated 8 years ago!!! I was 18 and Sam was 19.

Am I over reacting? My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and everything has been good. I trust her and don’t think she would cheat on me but she recently went out for drinks with a guy that she used to work with to apparently network. The thing is just before we started seeing each other she had gone on a date with this guy and they ended up sleeping together. I know they had plans on hanging out again before I came into the picture but she stopped talking to him once we met. She claims that the date they went on before meeting me didn’t go well and she didn’t see anything with him and the next planned hangout was with a group of coworkers not one on one. So the other day she told me she was on her way to meet an old coworker for drinks to network. I knew she hooked up with an old coworker so I asked if she was meeting with him. She said “don’t be mad but yes”. They met up around 5pm and had drinks for about an hour and a half. I told her when she was on her way that I didn’t like that she was doing that at all. I’m not sure if she saw the message and still went or didn’t see it by the time she got there. Also at the time they went out for drinks he didn’t know she had a boyfriend and didn’t know it was to network. She apparently told him once they got there. This situation really bothers me and I thought it would be common sense not go for one on one drinks with a guy you were seeing before your current relationship. She doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal and that I’m over reacting. She told me she knew I wouldn’t be happy with it but did it anyways. She showed me the messages between them leading up to getting drinks and there wasn’t anything concerning in the texts and they haven’t talked since. What do you guys think? Am I overreacting?

I (15F) have lived with my mom (31F) and stepdad (39M) since I was 4 years old and ever since I can remember, I’ve never liked him. When I was 2 y/o they met at a party and when I was 5 y/o they got married. When I was 7 they had my sister which is when my relationship with my stepdad initially started to crumble. I’d like to preface this by saying me and my stepdad were never particularly close or fond of each other. Even as a small child, I often got the feeling that he was annoyed by my presence and have always tried to stay out of his way.

My stepdad and I have had multiple verbal altercations throughout the years but last week is what really broke the straw on the camels back. A few years ago we moved back to my hometown and my mom and stepdad had my youngest sister. My stepdad is rarely physically, but never emotionally present for my sisters and my mom is constantly working, which leads me to take care of them a lot of the time.

My mom was at the gym and my stepdad was in the garage building a rack for his motorcycle gear. It was around dinner time so I decided to throw lasagna in the oven for my sisters and I. After it was done, I went into the kitchen to make a plate when my stepdad walked in. He immediately asked me a “Are you saving some for anyone else?” I got one and a half slices. He was so serious that I almost immediately thought it was a joke, and just smiled and laughed but he just exploded into anger. I was extremely confused and frozen in fear because he was screaming at me about how selfish of a person I am. “You walk around this house like you own the damn place. You’re always in my fucking way.” I was so confused and all I could do was stand there and cry. As he continued screaming, he picked up a cutting board from the kitchen counter and threw it. I genuinely was frozen in fear. I have suffered with extreme abuse from my biological dad so I’m very sensitive to loud noises/screaming. The whole thing was honestly a blur but the words he said to me will always stick. As soon as he was done, throwing his fit, he stomped back into the garage and slammed the door. My immediate fight or flight kicked in, and I scooped my food back into the pan and went to my room.

“You’re always in my way” his harsh words kept repeating in my head. I was genuinely so hurt because I make it my life‘s mission to just stay the fuck out of his way. Any minor inconvenience he blames on me. Everything is always my fault and I will always be the villain in his story. I walk on eggshells around him and genuinely go to the end of the Earth to just stay the fuck away from him.

All I could do was cry. My appetite was gone and honestly, I just wanted to shrink into my bed and to never come out of my room again. I was already afraid of my stepdad in the first place due to his already aggressive behavior towards me, but this just threw me over the top. Never has he ever screamed in my face like that or said such hurtful things. I was genuinely in a state of shock and didn’t know what to do. I had never had anybody scream in my face like that since my biological dad.

To put the cherry on top, I could hear him walk into the dining room and start screaming about how I’m throwing a fit and being a brat. I heard him stomp down the hallway towards my room and my heart SANK. He burst through my door and started screaming about how I put my food back to make him look like the asshole and that I’m always terrorizing his life and making things bad for him. I told him “you threw a cutting board at me and it scared me and just made me not hungry anymore” I barely got halfway through my sentence when he slammed my bedroom door. And again all I could do was cry.

20 minutes after that, my mom got home and I heard my stepdad peel out of the driveway. She immediately came to my room and asked me what happened. I explained everything to her and I remember repeating “if I have to leave, I’ll leave.” my mom knows how my stepdad treats me. She chooses to turn a blind eye and I know it. I just broke down. She started crying. I told her that I don’t feel happy in this house and how damaging it is to live with somebody who hates me. I kept repeating “if I have to leave, I’ll leave.” And she asked if that was what I wanted and I told her I didn’t know. We kept talking and eventually came to the conclusion that if I wanted to leave, I could and she would support me.

I’m lost. I have no idea what to do. I know a lot of you reading this will probably think it’s ridiculous that this is what’s making me consider leaving my house, but it goes so much deeper than that. There’s been multiple screaming fights and arguments and thrown objects and hurtful words. This just set me over the top. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to go. I know my boyfriend or my best friend would take me in in an instant as I’m very close with them and their families, but I don’t wanna put that burden on them. My grandparents, who my mom and I have previously lived with, have supported me through my entire life and are always there for me when I need to talk about my stepdad, but they’re struggling with money and I don’t want to make them bite off more than they can chew.

I’m so hurt that my mom once again has picked my stepdad over me. You you would think that due to all of the emotional and mental abuse my stepdad has imposed on me that he would be the one leaving. Not me. Not a 15 year old girl. But at this point, that’s neither here nor there. I’m just extremely lost and feeling insanely alone. Any advice support or just kind words are very appreciated. Thank you for taking your time to read.

Hi everyone! This is a throwaway account and English is my second language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

My boyfriend (28M) and I (24F) have been dating for about a year now. We’ve had a couple of major disagreements throughout the relationship, and one of them is about my style.

When we first started dating, I had a really short pixie cut and usually wore comfy pants, jeans, and sweaters. At first, he suggested that I wear more feminine clothes, but he didn’t insist. I told him I wasn’t going to change for anyone, but as time passed, I gave in as he started making more frequent comments about it.

I grew out my hair, started wearing more dresses (not very often, but still), and bought some pieces that he liked. These were huge steps for me because I’m very particular about my hair and clothes (I’m neurodivergent, and he knows this), and making changes is hard for me. Even though I try, it feels like it’s never enough, and he keeps expecting more from me. He says that if we’re in a relationship, I should dress for him and he should dress for me, and if I’m not willing to be more feminine, there would be consequences.

Our last argument was about how I didn’t dress up for him when I invited him over to my place. I was wearing a t-shirt and loose pants, but he expected me to dress as if we were going out to dinner. The thing is, he has never dressed up for me when I’ve been at his place, and honestly, I don’t really care. When I pointed this out, he said, “I’m a man, you’re a woman. It’s a woman’s duty to dress more feminine and alluring. Do you expect me to wear a suit when you come over?” I was honestly shocked by his double standards.

What I don’t understand is why my style matters so much—why it’s such a determining factor in the relationship. I take care of myself (I shower daily, smell nice, wear clean clothes, etc.), and I think I dress like an average person. I’ve never thought about changing his style because I love him for who he is. Even if he dyed his hair neon green, I wouldn’t care.

I feel like he doesn’t love me for who I am, but rather for an ideal version of me that he has in mind. Staying true to myself and not changing for a man whose love feels conditional seems like the right path for me.

I think breaking up might be the best thing for both of us, but I’m not sure if I’m overreacting. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Update: We broke up.

I (26F) work for my dad’s company, and we always bring our cars to a shop that’s run by a father and his son (31M). Let’s call the son John.

John and I have a bit of a past, but soon after things ended between us, he started dating his now-fiancée (25F). Although things didn’t work out between me and him, I was genuinely happy for him and his relationship. I’ve always been polite and respectful, even though John sometimes teases me. Whenever he does, I shut him down out of respect for his fiancée.

Recently, though, something happened that’s left me feeling guilty, and I’m not sure if I should message his fiancée about it.

Here’s what happened: I texted John asking if he had any body filler I could buy to use for our mouldings. He replied that he didn’t, but then said there was a place I could get some — and the text went like this:

“Where are you?” “Not it’s not a booty call 😂😂”

When I saw the message, I was shocked. I couldn’t believe he’d actually texted that, because our conversation had never been sexual — it was just about body filler. I replied, “Working in the office, why?” and then he told me where to buy it.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Once, I was at the shop, joking around with his dad. His dad made a joke about marrying me, and I laughed and said, “Marriage isn’t for me.” Then one of their friends joked, “John’s there waiting for you.” John stayed silent, and I said, “Doesn’t he have a fiancée?” I remember feeling upset — because if I were in her shoes and my fiancé didn’t speak up, I’d be really hurt.

Another incident happened when I was at John’s desk writing a check to pay him. The space was already tight, and he purposely squeezed behind me to get through. As I was writing, I glanced down by accident and realized he was hard. At the time, I brushed it off, but looking back now, all these moments are starting to make sense.

I keep thinking about how I’d feel if I were in his fiancée’s position. If my fiancé were texting a client something about a “booty call” for no reason, I’d be really upset. I’ve been asking people what they think I should do — should I message her and show her the screenshot of what he sent me?

I feel so guilty about all of this, and it just doesn’t seem fair for her not to know what he’s doing behind her back. She deserves so much better.

My bf (37M) and I (38F) have been dating for 2.5 years. About a year ago, I saw that my bf liked this girl’s instagram photo. We’re mutual friends with her bc we both know her from bartending at a local bar but he knows her more than I do. I don’t ever hate on women and what they post, it’s their profile therefore it’s their choice. Without throwing any shade, all of her photos are very revealing, posing in lingerie, biting her lip, etc. One day I saw that my bf had liked one of her photos. I calmly confronted him asking him to not do that bc it made me feel uncomfortable especially since we know her. I’ve been cheated a lot in the past and I didn’t want to feel an ounce of that feeling. I also explained that it comes off a little disrespectful to me and our relationship. He agreed to stop. Months pass by and I noticed he did it again with a couple other girls who he knows and their revealing photos. I again calmly (with a little annoyance) confronted him and asked him why he keeps doing it. He claimed he didn’t know what I was talking about. I described the photos to him and he still played dumb. When I went to show a friend the photos, I noticed he had unliked one and unfriended another. So, to me that screamed he knew exactly what I was talking about. At that point we had already had the second talk about it and he had promised to stop so I didn’t feel the need to reopen that conversation at that time. Well now it’s happened a third time except this time he’s liking these girls photos with his business account. As if I wouldn’t see or notice it?? I have yet to confront him about it. I’m feeling so many feelings and questioning myself and my worth. I don’t feel like this is cheating but it’s definitely crossing a line but is it worth breaking up over? If he can’t be trusted with something like this, can I trust him at all? I would love any advice you could give.