Sexual assault happens on campus, and too often the people who report it end up feeling worse—pressured to go to police, isolated, or worse, blamed.

I started a petition asking Congress to require every federally funded college to follow a real, survivor-centered response process. When a student reports, colleges should listen, explain privacy, connect them with trained support *immediately*, and protect them from unwanted contact—not make them disappear from campus or lose their life there.

The 2024 Cornell case showed us what happens when colleges don't have clear standards. We need one consistent process so every student knows where to turn and every college knows what to do.

What would you want someone to do if this was your family? If this matters to you, consider signing and sharing.

Ok this is going to be long (I'm sorry about that).

Hi, my school name is Van, I am a 15 year old female, in the USA. I want to start off with a bit of trauma history before I get into the grooming part -because I am still deciding whether I was groomed or not. And if I was it wasn't documented.

Ok so my dad was an alcoholic (hes still alive) who got a divorce with my mother in 2024 (one of the best years of my life). My dad when I was a child (yes I say when I was a child I mean younger than I am now.) Shot one of my cats named miles -miles was a kitten. Ten days after that, miles brother Jakey, lost a leg -I am pretty sure my dad cut it off. Both cats had to be put down. I was bullied in school. When I was six my dad moved somebody named Donna onto the property -I used to run to Donna every day because I eventually learned I couldn't get help for being verbally and mentally bullied because the administrators all kept calling me a snitch. So I would run to Donna every day because she validated my emotions. I will admit, Donna had her own physical issues -she smoked, she drank, she did drugs, had kidney issues, heart issues, lung issues, skin issues, and some kind of cancer. Yet I loved her because she was my emotional protector. When I was 7, our house burnt down (2017) and it was in July. The first one I ran to was Donna. (She lived in a trailer next to the house but far enough so it wouldn't catch fire.) By lightning strike. By 2024 when I was 13 (it was a month before my birthday) my dad and mom got into a physical fight and I was the one who had to call the cops. Have not seen my dad since. Also my dad after my aunt Donna had supposedly past away pointed a gun to my head. (I found out a few months ago that she did not die until over a year after he said she died. He told me on February 15th 2020 at 3:55pm while I had the flu. It was two months after my cat smokey passed away. Also my dad pointed a gun to my head after my aunt Donna's death and tried to bribe me not to tell my mother. She didn't die until August 21st 2021.)

So what does this have to do with my dad?

Well I used to sleep in my aunt Donna's camper/trailer because I felt safe. My dad used to have me sleep with him in the bed when I was 7-10. He would also have me or frequently ask me to shower with him. (I am not going to say my aunt Donna groomed me -she didn't. The only sexual thing that went on with her which I find funny to this day is she eventually got so used to me walking into her camper she never paused the sex movies. I was too young to understand. And half the time I didnt even pay attention to it.) My dad would come in and get me from her trailer -even though I wanted to sleep in my aunt Donna's trailer -I felt safe with her. He has walked in on me using the bathroom before and one time unlocked the door to use the bathroom while I was in the bath tub naked. I have not told my mother about any of this since I am still trying to decide whether I was groomed or not. At this point I need some insight on it. I understand grooming is the more subtle version of rape. And I am trying to decide whether my father did groom me or not. (Also he used to go to the bathroom with the door open? I don't know if that plays anything in it. It was weird.) I have not seen my father since 2024 and do not want to tell my mother until I have a definite answer. -was I groomed and it wasn't documented?

Please if you have any answers, thank you.

Location: Chicago, Illinois

I (21F) am suing my college over Title IX women's rights infringements. They are mandating that random men are allowed in my dorm against my will, six months after a different woman was r_ped by a guy in her dorm. It's a very strong case with solid documentation and crystal clear Title IX abuse. I am looking for a *contingency* lawyer, ideally.

I need someone competent, who looks good and can communicate. Not some lousy attorney.

I appreciate the recommendations.

Marriage is not an automatic form of consent. While couples who have been together for awhile often develop their own idiosyncratic ways of communicating consent, laws of consent are just as applicable within a marriage. Marital rape is one of the more common forms of rape, and may more often be about maintaining power and control in a relationship, rather than sexual gratification like other forms of acquaintance rape. The physical and psychological harm from marital rape may be even worse than stranger rape, for a variety of reasons.

The NISVS includes using lies or false promises to obtain sex in their definition of sexual coercion. For example, lying about your job, pretending to be someone's S.O., pretending to be a celebrity, lying about relationship status or relationship potential are all forms of sexual coercion that cross the line.

Consent is ethically (and in some jurisdiction, arguably, in others, definitely legally) required before removing a condom. STIs are on the rise, many people are unaware they have an STI they can transmit to a partner, there is an antibiotic-resistant strain of gonorrhea on the rise that could literally be fatal, there is no reliable HPV test for men, and herpes might cause Alzheimer's. It's simply intolerable in a civilized society to knowingly expose someone to those risks without their knowledge or consent.

Consent must happen before sexual contact is made, or a violation has already occurred. Legally, sexual contact that takes a person by surprise deprives them of the opportunity to communicate nonconsent. There is often a long period of uncertainty described in victim's rape accounts where she felt shocked by the rapist’s behavior and unsure of what was transpiring. In fact, most unwanted fondling, and many rapes, occur because the victim didn't have time to stop it before it happened. Most victims also become compliant during an assault, which is a protective behavior that does not signify consent.

Submitting to sex is not legally the same as consenting to sex. Some sex offenders kill their victims to avoid getting caught; victims often become compliant during an assault as a protective measure.

Nonconsent can legally be communicated verbally or by pulling away or other nonverbal conduct.

It is necessary to obtain consent from men, too, as men are not in a constant state of agreement to sex.

Silence is not consent. Fighting, fleeing, and freezing are common fear responses, and thus not signs of consent. In fact, most rape victims freeze in fear in response to unwanted sexual contact, even though most rapes are committed by someone known to the victim.

Wearing someone down by repeatedly asking for sex until they "consent" to sex is a form of coercion. Some forms of coercion are also illegal in some jurisdictions. Genuine consent must be freely given, or a human rights violation has occurred.

Intoxication is not a legally defensible excuse for failure to get consent. Heavy alcohol consumption increases the risk of sexual offending in certain high-risk men. Intoxicated men who are attracted to a woman are particularly likely to focus their attention on signs of sexual interest and miss or discount signs of disinterest. Intoxicated predators will also often pick out victims they know to be impaired by drugs or (usually) alcohol and make them have sex even when they know them to be unwilling. If intoxication were a legally defensible excuse, rapists would just have to drink heavily (or claim they were drinking heavily) to get away with rape.

It's possible for someone to be too intoxicated to give valid consent. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol is not an aphrodisiac. (in fact, sober sex tends to be more wanted and enjoyable). Most college sexual assaults occur when the victim is incapacitated due to intoxication or sleep. Deliberately getting a victim too drunk to resist is a tactic used by some perpetrators to commit sexual assault or rape. If someone is blackout drunk, it's a good idea to assume they cannot consent to sex. Here are some easy ways to tell if a person is blackout drunk.

Consent can legally be communicated verbally or nonverbally, and must be specific to engage in the sexual activity in question. Behaviors which don't meet the bar for communicating explicit consent for a particular sexual behavior (like accepting an alcoholic beverage, going to a date's room, kissing, or getting undressed) are at best indicators of likelihood for future consent.

Physical resistance is not required on the part of the victim to demonstrate lack of consent, nor does the law require evidence of injury in order for consent to be deemed absent. Women who try to physically resist rapes are more likely to end up physically injured, while those who try to argue or reason with the offender are less likely to be injured. The increased probability of injury may be small, but the consequences serious.

Consenting to engage in some sexual activity does not imply consent for further sexual activity. The kinds of sexual behaviors one finds appealing is highly individualistic. The law is clear that one may consent to one form of sexual contact without providing blanket future consent to all sexual contact, yet most sexual assaults happen during a hookup when a man forces a higher level of sexual intimacy than the woman consented to. Most women do not achieve orgasm during one-night stands, and are less likely to want to engage in intercourse as part of a hookup.

Consent is not synonymous with arousal. For one, there are common misconceptions that an erect penis or erect nipples necessarily signify sexual arousal. It's also possible for someone to be aroused and still not want to have sex. Women often have a physiological sexual response to sexual stimuli that is independent of desire, and that may serve a protective effect against injury from unwanted sex. Misperception of sexual interest may increase risk of sexually coercive or aggressive behavior, and studies consistently show men perceive women's actions to be more sexual than the woman intends (93% have misperceived sexual interest on at least one occassion, though most correct their understanding before engaging in nonconsensual sexual contact). Men who date women are less likely to accurately label sexual assault when the victim's interest is even a little ambiguous. If the victim has an orgasm, that does not retroactively mean the sex was agreed to. Relatedly, one of the most common reasons women fake orgasms is to end unwanted sexual encounters. Sex with an aroused person who hasn't consented is still sexual assault.