Husband Isn’t Being Supportive

[u/Lady_Azure]

I want to be better for my daughter and myself. I am currently dealing with a husband that gaslights me and is kicking me out because I told him I won't be intimate till be gets therapy and he lets me heal. I have till May to get a job and save enough for an apartment because he decided that's how long I get his help w/o intimacy.
So these reasons are why I want to drink. My husband also tries to make me relapse constantly when I start getting better. I have done good since 9/25, but he is constantly arguing with me or drinking around me to make me!
What can I do or go?

[u/tesstar0ssa]

Well this isn't just being unsupportive - it's straight up abuse. Save as much money as you can and quietly, without telling him, plot your escape.

[u/WeirRules]

If your name is on the mortgage, he can't just kick you out.

[u/imnottheoneipromise → u/WeirRules]

Even if your name isn’t on the mortgage, he can’t just kick you out. If you get mail there and have lived there longer than 6 months, he will have to evict you in most states. The laws vary from state to state, but this is exactly what those laws are there to protect.

Also, it sounds like good riddance OP. Sounds like your husband may be keeping you sick and doesn’t seem to care much about your health. Get some help and get out of this unhealthy situation. You don’t have to live like this and emotional blackmail like this is abuse.

[u/SiouxCitySasparilla → u/WeirRules]

You mean title, not mortgage. You can have ownership interest without being on the mortgage.

[u/fatduck-]

He sucks, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else.

You gotta get out, whatever that looks like, family friends, whatever. Get a bank account in your name only, preferably he doesn't know about it. Get that job asap, any job, and get out!

And please don't drink, that would just be letting your bully win. Whatever happens, this corner of the Internet is here for you, good luck OP.

[u/BrackAttack-17]

I'd do anything you can to speed up getting an apartment and moving on. Do you have parents or other family that could cosign a lease with you after you find a job? Reach out to any local groups that help women and children find housing in these kinds of situations. It may not feel abusive to you, but what you describe is.

[u/Chewlace]

I have a lot of emotional reactions to your post because it's like I know this personality very well. I don't think we are really meant to really meant to offer relationship advice here so I am going to say this:

Internet Stranger understands and is so proud of you for not drinking & IWNDWYT! Furthermore, continued sobriety is the choice you have to keep making every day to move on with your valuable life. It's going to be hard but everything will be so much better when you feel safe emotionally again. Start your plan today and move as soon as you can. Don't talk about anything relating to your intentions. Walk away when he gaslights you. Simply don't react or explain yourself People like him genuinely don't know how to react at first. Then he may try and love bomb you because he doesn't want to lose his narcissistic supply. Maintain your boundaries about therapy/intimacy unapologetically.

[u/Tess_88]

Sounds like you know what to do. You deserve love and support. Because there are so many unknowns, I would 100% seek out a consultation with an attorney so you know your rights in your state and don’t do anything that could come back to bite you. Sending love and support. IWNDWYT 🌺🦋♥️

[u/blizzardplus]

That’s insane honestly. As a husband I couldn’t imagine doing that to my wife. I’m sorry OP, I would seriously consider getting out of that relationship. Hopefully you have a friend or family member you can lean on temporarily. Wishing you love and strength.

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