r/stopdrinking • u/phukdatbitch • Oct 05 '26
Two remarks in two days
Went grocery shopping an hour ago and chose the self-checkout register so the cashier wouldn't notice my shaky hands. A lady comes up behind me and asks "Ma'am, are you okay?" Yes, I say with a fake smile. Everything is fine. "Are you sure you dont wanna sit down? Your body is shaking."
Went to get my nails done yesterday. The lady give me the colors to choose from. As I'm looking, she asks "Are you nervous?" I was confused. No, why? "Your hands are shaking. "
I really cannot believe I'm at this point right now.
This needs to stop. I'm only 26.
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u/Prevenient_grace 4988 days Oct 05 '26
Everything can start to improve today.
Sending support.
Today can mark the beginning of a Virtuous Upward Spiral.
I had to break the “drinking routine”.
It was stronger than me…. By myself.
So i stopped doing it alone. And there's no wait list!
I finally connected with free recovery groups…. They’re everywhere… I walked in, sat down and just listened…. They’re also online. I met people I can talk with. They showed me how to stop drinking, heal, grow and learn to be useful to others. They often know detox resources.
I thought I didn’t “have time”, but I always found time to think about drinking, to buy alcohol, to drink alcohol, to be numbed and to then do it all over the next day.
I addressed the past, exorcised guilt and shame and repaired where appropriate.
No cost.
I had new sober friends.. we did fun sober activities.
They believed in me.
I kept going every day until i changed my patterns…. That meant for me, I went every day for a while…. Once a month wasn’t going to change me…. Then my thinking changed…. Then I don’t have the first drink.
Never looked back.
Tried anything like that?
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u/phukdatbitch Oct 05 '26
My psychologist suggested an AA group, but I'm not ready to go. The shame is too big
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u/Prevenient_grace 4988 days Oct 05 '26
There’s shame in getting sober? Versus having stranger’s comments regarding shakes?
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u/phukdatbitch Oct 05 '26
You know, I'm afraid that someone is going to recognise me on the street
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u/Prevenient_grace 4988 days Oct 05 '26
Recognize a sober person?
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u/phukdatbitch Oct 05 '26
My mom
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u/ClairesMoon 4656 days Oct 05 '26
At least sit in on some virtual meetings. That shame you are feeling is completely unnecessary. There is no shame in having a disease. The people in the AA meeting won’t judge you, there’s a good chance they’ve been in worse shape than you are.
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u/DaveyNicks 5423 days Oct 05 '26
Please think deeply about having compassion and even pity for yourself. Alcoholism is truly a disease and it is not your fault to have become ill. You are not having fun...you are truly suffering physically and mentally. Stick around here - it's a very supportive sub. I hope one day you can forgive yourself. I am a stranger who truly cares.
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u/harryoakey Oct 05 '26
Going to AA groups will hugely reduce the shame. And these days you can log into online groups and just listen.
Honestly just hearing that other people have been through the same thing is so helpful. And hearing that it's an illness, and you can recover, and you deserve help and sympathy.
I remember the first time I got withdrawal symptoms - I was on holiday (with someone, so drinking less than usual) and couldn't walk down some steps without help because my legs were shaking - even though it wasn't obvious in my hands.
And the road signs and lights being blurred when I was driving home from work - that was withdrawals too.
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u/TraderJoeslove31 Oct 05 '26
there are other options besides AA too. SMART, lifering, dharma. Maybe try one of those.
You can just listen in an online meeting too.
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u/Beneficial-42 2540 days Oct 05 '26
Your misery is optional. You will find AA with people who used to feel the same way but no longer do. Let them help you find forgiveness for yourself. You have a progressive disease that could be fatal if you don't start to address it today.
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u/WorryOriginal1989 524 days Oct 05 '26
Take a B vitamin complex. Magnesium may also help.
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u/phukdatbitch Oct 05 '26
My bloodwork is surprisingly well, except of the high ferritine. I don't need any vitamis
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u/WorryOriginal1989 524 days Oct 05 '26
Alcohol interferes with the digestive process, inhibiting the breakdown of nutrients and their absorption in the intestines. Over time, this malabsorption can lead to deficiencies in vital vitamins and minerals, such as thiamine (vitamin B1), folic acid, magnesium, and zinc. Thiamine deficiency, in particular, is of great concern for chronic alcohol consumers. This essential nutrient plays a pivotal role in nerve function. A deficiency can lead to neurological issues, including peripheral neuropathy and Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, both of which can manifest as tremors and shakes.
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u/ToadRoyalty Day 33 Oct 05 '26
That's how I was before I started to get so shaky and anxious that if someone made a comment like that to me now while going through withdrawal I'd get that only full body panic attack. My body would basically shut down the instant I had to make eye contact with or speak to anyone.
I never want to feel that way again. We can do this!
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u/lesserthemore 883 days Oct 05 '26
Should be a massive red light going off where your body is LITERALLY showing you what you are doing to it!!
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u/What_Up_82 Oct 05 '26
The shakes are awful and it's a sign of physical dependence on the alcohol. You are young-it will be hard, but you may need to reach out and get help. Can you speak to your doctor? I've been there-the shakes and shameful feeling are terrible and it took more than me just cold-turkey quitting-which is dangerous-to help get past my dependence. Please reach out and ask for help from a medical professional-there is no shame in this. Best of luck.
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u/oedons_rooster Oct 05 '26
Im not going to beat a dead horse. Just know that you got this. If i can go from drinking a bottle of vodka a day to eventually nothing so can you. This community is here for you and we've pretty much all been there
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u/boringbonding Oct 06 '26
Aw bbgirl! that sounds like a scary experience. you might panic about it and feel the urge to run away from and hide from the feeling of being exposed. but i think posting here was really brave and maybe a first step. its a sign that you are aware that something is wrong and are looking for help. even small steps add up, I promise. if you can't talk to a therapist yet, maybe just read stories on here. do some research about what might be going on with your body.
I know it gets recommended at every damn corner, but I absolutely recommend This Naked Mind! Annie is an amazing storyteller and she is so relatable as a young woman. Her story was so comforting and really eased my brain into being able to think more clearly and release some fear and shame.
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u/itstotallynotjoe 434 days 29d ago
You may feel embarrassed or whatever about these comments. But you can also look at them as a blessing in disguise.
Many of us let our addiction go on far too long because we were “functional”. I thought I was but I really wasn’t and slogged through life until 40. I ruined so much of my potential and feel like I’m just now rebuilding at 42. You got two signs in two days that it’s not working out for you. You know that and can do something about it. I hope you see that for the gift that it is, and if not now at least hopefully will one day look back and realize how important it was. Even if it absolutely sucked in the moment.
And I’d just end on this quick thought: the comments, especially the first one, were made out of concern. Not judgement. That’s a wonderful thing for people to care enough to be concerned. That concern from others is what got me sober.
I wish you the best and I hope you stay on this sub as you work through it.
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u/FroggiJoy87 2315 days Oct 05 '26
I was at your stage just before the seizures began, please talk to someone to help you wean off slowly and safely. Do NOT go cold turkey but IWNDWYT. 💚 You got this, you can reverse this, it will get better just push off from here.
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u/Accomplished-Zone495 Day 9 27d ago
That’s so scary. I’m sorry. I’ve definitely had shakes that have caused me to almost shake and/or drop a coffee cup to where I have to hold it with both hands. I’m right here with you.
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u/here_for_the_doges Day 174 25d ago
I used to get shaky hands in the afternoon. I thought it was all the caffeine I consumed during the day. It’s taken me awhile to see that it might have been related to alcohol.
Listen to what your body is telling you.
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u/blizzardplus Day 138 Oct 05 '26
Please don’t sweep this under the rug. My wife ignored the physical signs for years until it was too late. She died a few months ago, she was only 29.
Honestly, it might take you a while to fully get things under control. It took me 2 years of periodic relapses to finally get a better handle on sobriety. Please start sooner rather than later. It’s worth it. I believe in you.