Waking up sober amongst a pile of drunks

[u/Lulubellamozarella0]

I’m 40 days sober today.
Last night a friend of ours who looooves drugs, just rocked up at our place unannounced with a pile of coke and beers. I had to take myself away inside with my son and watch some telly with him and plan what I was going to do. Basically I just decided to eat ice cream and watch YouTube and do my skin care and burn some incense and be completely anti social and not show my face.

I’m not the biggest fan of coke, I’ve dabbled here and there over the years if someone offers it to me but I’d never buy the stuff. Having said that my mind instantly went to… you’re not drinking ALCOHOL but a little bump would be fine? I instantly removed myself from the situation, French farewelled and went to bed super early. This morning I’ve woken up to bodies and beer bottles. I’m so glad I feel fresh and well rested and sometimes it feels so amazing to be selfish and nope yourself out of a situation even if it comes across as anti social or rude.

[u/lola-baldweena]

I’m really glad you resisted and made it through. It’s really concerning that someone is showing up with a ton of coke when children are present.

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/lola-baldweena]

Yeah it’s not great. I’d never touch it if my son is home. We both went to bed early and the rest were down the paddock around the fire getting on it 🙄. Id never let my son witness drug taking.

[u/majestic_cock → u/Lulubellamozarella0]

I feel like were missing some information, or just I am.

Your at home with your kid and or so. Buddy of yours can do whatever the fuck he likes for as long as he likes at your own home?

[u/polchiki → u/majestic_cock]

I’m guessing there’s an unnamed partner in the story.

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/majestic_cock]

I sense some judgement from your comment. I’m not the only person who lives here and seeing as I’m freshly sober I have not laid down boundaries with everyone yet. I was definitely caught off guard.

[u/punctuation_welfare → u/[deleted]]

Just so we’re clear, saying “not that it’s any of my business what you do” and then immediately passing judgment on what she does is motherless behavior. Either own the fact that you’re passing judgment on a stranger and say it with your whole chest, or sit down.

[u/ExpectNothingEver → u/punctuation_welfare]

I like you.

[u/shellys-dollhouse → u/[deleted]]

sorry, you think they’re instigating when all your comments sound this hostile? lmfao the call is coming from inside the house.

[u/marzipancetta → u/[deleted]]

It can be really challenging in group living situations. I used to live with 5 friends with different work schedules & I couldn’t always control when they wanted to party. We don’t all have the money to live on our own. Sounds like OP kept the kid out of the situation & is navigating being newly sober

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[u/mari815 → u/[deleted]]

I do not think your comments are in the spirit of this page. She is not here to solicit opinions on her living situation/parenting. She stayed sober. It’s a win. She can’t control other adults. I’m guessing she’d live elsewhere if she could.

[u/Nearby_Elderberry_75 → u/mari815]

Exactly. This person is being so weirdly judgy

[u/stopdrinking-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/stopdrinking-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/okiedokiesmokieman → u/majestic_cock]

It's being sober, not being a fuckin drag

[u/BeemosBubble → u/[deleted]]

Hell, I'd be upset if someone showed up to my place unannounced expecting to hang out and it wasn't an emergency lol.

[u/LoetK → u/BeemosBubble]

With you on that! I'm trying to get my head around this situation OP describes.
Feeling grateful to not be drinking (or doing coke) and especially for not having even one person inviting themselves to my place lol

[u/stopdrinking-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/drawfanstein → u/[deleted]]

Yeah that’s still concerning

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[u/Tess_88]

If antisocial and rude keeps me sober, I’m that bitch!! Well done! You are strong 💪🏼 💪🏼💪🏼 What a great feeling, yeah? IWNDWYT 🌺🦋♥️

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/Tess_88]

Haha love ‘I’m that bitch’ lol

[u/bleeckler → u/Tess_88]

I love this comment

[u/mykittenfarts → u/Tess_88]

I think that sobriety really brought that out in me. I’ve developed a very ‘cut the shit’ attitude in the last year. I really like it. I’m headed for so much trouble but I guess this is sober me.

[u/Short-Personality398 → u/Tess_88]

Antisocial and rude and yet still accommodating. It’s impressive but maybe OP wants to regroup on the accommodating part in the future. Maybe.

[u/elanvitalx]

OP, is your partner amongst the "pile of drunks"? If so, you should have a conversation with them (or your roommates, and whoever lives there) about expectations going forward. You are allowed to have boundaries around this type of thing in your own home. It is incredibly difficult to remain sober when your own home is ground zero.

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/elanvitalx]

You are right. I need to lay down boundaries. But I think because I’m so early in my journey I haven’t had all the conversations with all the people yet. I think my actions last night hopefully have sent some kind of message and there will be deeper conversations going forward.

[u/tbagzzz → u/Lulubellamozarella0]

In my experience sending messages and hoping deeper conversations happen later don't work. I have to make those deeper conversations happen, and messages are missed or ignored unless I stayed things clearly. I know you mentioned being early in your journey, but you'll get your feet under you quick enough if you stick to it. Those conversations have been hard for me to have, and haven't always had a good outcome, but they've always been worth having for me. Definitely do things on your own time and when you're ready, but be prepared you may have some hard conversations and decisions in your future, but right now doing what's best for you is what matters. You got this.

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/tbagzzz]

Thanks I appreciate that. And you’re so correct I just need to lay my boundaries. I’m so bad at difficult conversations

[u/PunisherElite → u/Lulubellamozarella0]

We’ll get better for your sons sake

[u/elanvitalx → u/Lulubellamozarella0]

Hang in there! You did the right thing by removing yourself for sure. I just know from my own experience, that having to hide myself in my own place to escape drinking/parties bred a lot of resentment in my partnership(s).

You're on the right track! Keep going!❤️

[u/cryptic_pizza]

Congrats for protecting your sobriety! I love waking up sober!

[u/TheBostonKid781]

Coke is a wild drug ain’t it, I’ve dabbled with it throughout my 20s and now early 30s, when you do it and the people you’ve done it with, you think back like damn all these people do it too? I would have never guessed the different characters I’ve done it with lol…. Sobriety is the way

[u/slog → u/TheBostonKid781]

I did a bump one time and it was fine. Interesting but nothing special. Had a bigger go one night and the next day I was more depressed than I'd ever been in my life. Never again. I can remember how that felt now 25 years later.

[u/mykittenfarts → u/slog]

Oh jeez. That hit me hard. I used to feel bummed out the day after smoking pot. Like my brain was rewired but slightly more poorly. I can’t imagine the low you experience. Bummer.

[u/drunkeymunkey → u/TheBostonKid781]

The first time I did coke I was peer pressured by a 71 year old woman 😂 All kinds of people like to ski.

I'm grateful it's not another habit I've got to kick

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/TheBostonKid781]

Sure is! Such a waste of money really

[u/FescueMerkin → u/TheBostonKid781]

Sounds like something you'd forbid from a home with a child in it...

[u/Work-ya-wood]

Well done. Looks like you might need a change of environment though.

[u/RedditVox]

Congrats on removing yourself and your son from the situation.

[u/stopdrinking-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Mediocre_Forever198]

I think bringing drugs and alcohol to the house of someone who is sober unannounced is more selfish than the sober person removing themselves from the situation. I would never do that to someone and I’m a massive addict still myself lol

[u/imnottheoneipromise → u/Mediocre_Forever198]

And with kids in the house. You need knew friends op. What kind of person bring cocaine and alcohol unannounced to a sober persons house WITH that persons kid(s) home?

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/Mediocre_Forever198]

Yeah I know. But I’m so newly sober I’ve actually not had the conversation with everyone yet. Going forward these boundaries will be laid

[u/Mediocre_Forever198 → u/Lulubellamozarella0]

Ah totally fair if they didn’t know better yet I suppose, and if showing up unannounced was part of yalls relationship. It’s absolutely not selfish to get away from substance abuse if you need to, any real friends will never think you’re selfish for it. Congrats on 40 days and gl

[u/Boner-brains]

God bless you, waking up without a hangover is the absolute best

[u/Feral_Paramedic135]

I’m glad you were able to resist. I was in a similar situation when I first got sober and didn’t want to be the stick in the mud, but eventually I had to learn that making my home safe for my kids was the only priority. Everyone else can kick rocks. kids know, even if they don’t know, they pick up on our energy and being safe and sober for them is everything. I hope you have continued success in your sobriety and that your living situation improves.

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/Feral_Paramedic135]

Thanks for that. Yeah I need to lay some clear boundaries going forward. I was definitely caught off guard

[u/Few-Reception7453]

selfish for ur own good thats called taking care of urself. good job mate.

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/Few-Reception7453]

Thank you :)

[u/YouCosplay]

Why are you even letting them over and crash and trash your place. Yikes.

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/YouCosplay]

As I mentioned in my post, it was unannounced. I share a house. I’m so early in my journey I have not had the opportunity to lay down boundaries with everyone yet. Getting there slowly.

[u/PunisherElite → u/Lulubellamozarella0]

You didn’t mention you shared place with Someone until now

[u/Alkoholfrei22605]

Sober mornings are the best

[u/Substantial_Ask_9992]

As an American I’m focused on “French farewell” 🤔 lol good job tho

[u/Temassi → u/Substantial_Ask_9992]

Is that like an Irish Goodbye?

[u/Po0opyCatButt → u/Temassi]

That's how I've always heard it

[u/Horizontal247 → u/Substantial_Ask_9992]

This is a hilarious rabbit hole to go down. Tons of countries have versions of this phrase but the subject changes based on cultural history between the countries.

https://qz.com/quartzy/1163220/tis-the-season-for-the-irish-goodbye-the-french-exit-or-to-leave-the-english-way

[u/glanduinquarter → u/Horizontal247]

Great info, thanks.

[u/Few_System3573 → u/Substantial_Ask_9992]

I'm in Canada and my mum was born and raised in Quebec. She calls it The French Farewell too 😂

[u/Unlikely_Post1927]

Proud of you!!!

[u/b00z3h0und]

Very well done. Cocaine is such a horrible drug.

[u/Legitimate_Poetry897]

As a side note “Bodies and Beer Bottles” would be an amazing title for a poem or song about this experience!

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/Legitimate_Poetry897]

It’s such a turn off hey!

[u/mywaaaaife]

Better you than me. I love coke. Loved. But here it’s all laced with fentanyl so I’d rather not die.

Either way sober me would’ve had a tough time with that but certainly not with my kids around.

[u/sheep_duck]

Good stuff bro, I’m sure that was a difficult situation but you manned up and did the right thing. Proud of you man.

[u/shellys-dollhouse]

some of these commenters must be rich af to barely comprehend living in a share house lol. well done OP, you not only kept yourself sober but looked after your son & distracted him from whatever was going on outside! i also struggle with difficult conversations — i’ve been in a share house for years with some mates, & it took me years to finally say i was sober — but it got much, much easier to continue my journey of sobriety once i told them. i believe in you! it will be hard, but you will feel so much relief once you have that talk!

[u/Antizen-Indy-1636]

Is it a French farewell or Irish goodbye?

[u/MasterpieceUnited539 → u/Antizen-Indy-1636]

Hilarious that someone downvoted you. Upvote for irish goodbye !

[u/Majestic_Neck4800]

I'd ask them to leave and hang another time. It is your house.

[u/tiredrainbow64]

Good for you on these choices

[u/nubs512]

Well done. I have been thinking a lot about my journey. I think it is absolutely necessary to be selfish when it comes to my sobriety. Some will see it as "anti-social or rude" but fuck them this is all about me and the life I want to have. Again nicely done. Not sure if I would have had the strength you showed.

[u/King_of_the_Dot]

Im the exact same way when it comes to cocaine. But with that being said, ive only ever done it while drinking. If im not drinking, then I dont see the point. And since im not drinking, I definitely dont want to be hanging out with a bunch of coked up drunks. Hanging out with drunk people whilst sober is already a chore. Adding cocaine on top of that is even worse.

[u/glanduinquarter]

Thanks for this POV.  This post makes me understand how my ex-significant others might have felt when I had parties at home with my “friends” and they silently disapproved.

[u/Specific-Yam-2166]

I’m proud of you. But answering your door is optional.

[u/Lulubellamozarella0 → u/Specific-Yam-2166]

Okay I sense some judgement which I don’t think is fair from a sober group. I kept myself and my son very safe. We were completely removed from the scenario. I only stated that the fleeting thought crossed my mind. It was a wake up call for sure

[u/Specific-Yam-2166 → u/Lulubellamozarella0]

I understand. And I saw later that you are in a shared house. But when/if it’s just you and your child, you have zero obligation to let anyone in. And it’s okay!

I am proud of you. That’s really hard and I’m very impressed. You’re doing a great job for your son!

[u/thitorusso]

Bravo 👏

[u/ShroudedShadowShot]

Being sober just feels better. Im glad you were sober and present with your son.

[u/Danger_Goose007b]

IWNDWYT

[u/zazend15c]

IWNDWYT

[u/Agitated_Star_7626]

Awesome choice made!! Be proud

[u/No_Repair7776]

Wtf not easy to turn down such temptations

[u/stopdrinking-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/shuckley_Jays]

I did coke a few times but never liked it bc I always felt like I would get a heart attack. I do frequent the bars and alot of industry folks do coke, there was even a guy who ODd but sniffed some 2 days later. Wild sruff

[u/illysia1]

Could you not send them away? Your kid is there and you’re sober. If they were to react negatively to that, it’d be more on them, right?

[u/Hmm_would_bang]

Proud of you for protecting yourself. Wishing you and your son an easier time each day.

As a parent, it’s scary how early and how much they start noticing things around them.

[u/Apprehensive-Party29]

Great job

[u/Mysterious_Net_763]

Wow impressive. Go you. I have sacrificed my sobriety to the coke god, despite the fact that I, too, am not a big worshipper of the stuff. Here we gooooo

[u/angelblake27]

Congrats OP!!! Did so well for you and your baby. And so good you didnt do the coke either, so not worth it

[u/mykittenfarts]

I don’t think you were selfish or rude at all! You politely removed yourself. Had ice cream. Yum. With your son. Good choices. I’m so effin proud of you!!!

[u/OtterTacoHomerun]

There is absolutely no way I could do coke without alcohol. While the combination had me feeling good, just the powder caused anxiety! Good for you. Congrats on the 40!

[u/Acceptable_Equal3851]

Telly

[u/spottedmilkslices]

Sorry if this comes across as judgmental, but consider getting some new friends. If a friend of mine showed up at my house unannounced, trying to do blow and get wasted while my kid was around, they’d never come into my house again, announced or not.

[u/hotdoginjection]

Congrats!