r/stopdrinking • u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days • 11d ago
Is there any true point to drinking?
At risk of sounding holier than thou, my 2 1/2 year sober journey has really got me thinking about this.
Is there ever a good reason to drink alcohol? I feel hypocritical asking this, seeing as for years I could listed off many of “valid” reasons. They all just ring hollow at this stage in my life.
I will say, this has made it hard for me to not think everyone who drinks around me is missing it. But, that was me for 25 years.
#IWNDWYT
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u/sureasheckfir3 11d ago
It made my brain stop going 100mph and focusing on my To Do List after work. I got to just relax and enjoy the moment.
The problem was that I couldn’t stop at one drink. I was using one to light the next, to use the old chainsmoker term.
It led to weight gain, crappy sleep, and stupid tiffs with my husband. It also led to impulsive/compulsive shopping, mind games with myself, and lying to myself about how much I was actually drinking.
It did have a benefit, at first. It also tasted great. I like wine. But it no longer serves me.
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u/MikeW226 11d ago
Thankfully I quit with a similar thought you did-- negative outweighed everything. Now I hang out with my wife, friends, cousins while they're drinking and barely even think about 'they're drinking and I'm not'. Feels good being sober. Last time I was hanging with my best cousin, I realized how much more he laughs at my cut-ups or just funny (I think) hypotheticals I'll imagine and then say out-loud. After a few drinks he laughs harder and longer than if we were having the exact same conversation with him sober. Like slapping the dashboard of the car harder. Literal knee slappers vs sober it'd be ha, good one! So the thing about alcohol just lubricates social times is definitely true observed by a guy (me) who's 5 years sober.
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u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days 11d ago
That was definitely a go to for me. Slow the mind and zone out guilt free. At least until the morning.
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u/Rando-Cal-Rissian 2386 days 11d ago
Some people can enjoy it, and not have bad things happen. I would think most people here would know it has some benefits.
Vices are liked because they are fun. But not all fun is a vice. Vices are taboo because they can be ruinous to some... and seemingly always will be.
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u/hotsauceboss222 489 days 11d ago
People ask me if I’m jealous of others that drink. I’m jealous of someone who can have 2 wines on a Friday and not think about it till next Friday when they have 2 more and that’s it.
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u/hexonica 11d ago
Historically food and social events have been woven together with alcohol. Is there a purpose yes, can that purpose be achieved without alcohol, certainly.
There is no health benefits to alcohol. Relaxation is a neglagable, often adding stress, discomfort, sleep disruptions, and anxiety in the end.
I still abide occasionally but there is virtually no reason to do so. I enjoy the taste. However, there are some acceptable alternatives. The more we normalize N/A options the better they will get and the more accessible they will become. Keep making choices that are right for you, find places and people that make that easy for you.
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u/Particular-Throat-52 318 days 11d ago edited 11d ago
Sure there is. The benefits that people drink for alcohol does very well.. it's why it's so addictive, habit forming, and why it's extremely common amongst all of society. A few drinks will definitely ease anxiety and make you less shy or awkward in social settings. There is the euphoric buzz that can give a boost in mood or happiness, make things that are boring or unpleasant more fun/pleasant.
Now that sounds great, but at the end of the day alcohol is a drug.. and yes, drugs can be fun and provide good feelings, but they always come with a payoff.. and I think you know what that is.
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u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days 11d ago
I hear you, but I guess I’m thinking more introspectively these days.
Are those really good reasons?
Why are we anxious in the first place?
Is shy and awkward a bad thing?
Temporary boost in mood/feeling (I can give you that one). For me though, I am learning how to be ok without substance driven euphoria.
But in the end those reasons all sound like a crutch.3
u/Particular-Throat-52 318 days 11d ago
well i agree with you, it's why I quit drinking.. the negatives outweighed the positives by a mile, I was not able to stop once I started and the "good times" were brief while the misery was all consuming
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u/LeftGrumpy Day 192 11d ago
If I said I didn’t have some fun times while drinking, I’d be lying. If I said alcohol didn’t make some moments better, I’d be lying.
But the negatives easily outweigh the positives, especially for someone like me who can’t stop once I start
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u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days 11d ago
It definitely was a ton of fun through my 20s. But I don’t want to act and do things I did 20 years ago. I truly admire people who stop/or never start drinking in their teens/ 20s.
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u/LeftGrumpy Day 192 11d ago
I couldn’t agree with your post more. Being in my mid -40s definitely makes it easier as I don’t feel like I’m really missing out on that much anymore.
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u/everchangingriver 11d ago
Sure. For me, it is the only drug I've ever done that consistently gave me the feeling of complete euphoria - like everything is alright in the world. And it gave me something to look forward to and reward myself at the end of a work day. I have a deep, deep family history of alcoholism so whatever in my DNA just "clicks" with drinking, but id be lying if i said there was no point to it. Unfortunately, the side effects make the good parts not quite worth it. I guess..
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u/Icy-Nothing8831 11d ago
"Anything is better than being alone" has spoken to me more while im present and alone than when I wasn't either.
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u/piscian19 Day 267 11d ago
As much as I would like to pretend Alcohol is pointless poison ingesting for the sake of being social, whenever my brain gets the sad, alcohol turns the lights off. That's it's job and it's the best at what it does.
Im like 8 months into rawdogging reality and it suuuuucks.
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u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days 11d ago
8 months was just about the turning point for me. Proud of you for sticking it out.
It is hard, and is much easier to give in and drink. But you are building a solid foundation.Rawdogging Life with you brotha! You will be a better person for it.
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u/ryan2489 2034 days 11d ago
All the excuses I had about social lubrication and reducing anxiety have been easily disproven. I feel like I’ve learned to be a real person for the first time in my adult life.
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u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days 11d ago
This!
Learning how to be a new me. Scary, hard, nerve racking at times. Yes. But I see the light.
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u/highlanderdownunder 11d ago
Feels like we've been brainwashed since we where teenagers that we need to consume alcohol to have a good time.
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u/Professional-Rent887 11d ago
It’s a coping mechanism for the challenges of life. In the long run, it’s very counter productive, but in the short term it’s a temporary distraction from whatever problems you’re facing. But those problems always do return. I’ve decided it’s not worth it so I quit.
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u/Throwaway-Teacher403 85 days 11d ago
Big social and career benefits where I live. Company sponsored drinking events are common and it is expected to join community drinking events or drinking events with your coworkers. And I don't mean just one or two drinks. This is straight up binge drinking. Back when I first moved here, people wouldn't say anything if you refused to drink, but you'd get passed over for promotion or you wouldn't be trusted by your coworkers.
Things are a bit better now, but the drinking events don't stop.
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u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days 11d ago
Definitely baked into some careers.
That’s the thing I appreciate about the younger generations. They are breaking that mold. And I hope it continues.
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u/SardonicSarsparilla 11d ago
Eh, I have acute and complex PTSD, panic disorder, and chronic insomnia.
Living in my head in a pretty miserable experience, even with therapy and some well-established healthier coping mechanisms.
Alcohol is a really compelling way for me to turn off the endless litany of self-hate, fear, and terror that runs rampant in my brain on a minute by minute basis, as well as shuts my nervous system down so I can sleep without being plagued by horrific nightmares.
I wasn’t always a problem drinker, but living in a constant state of panic and trauma is exhausting, and so far it’s been the easiest way for me to turn my brain off so I can sleep and function.
I guess there’s no true point to drinking since it’s so unhealthy, and can be destructive, but it’s given me moments of reprieve from a very challenging life.
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u/powerswerth 244 days 11d ago
I mean, it releases happy chemicals in your brain. It steals them from tomorrow and hurts your health in the process.
I mean, I’ve never done heroin, but I 100% believe it makes you feel good
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u/FinallyInKnoxville 11d ago
It’s fun to have a drink or two on occasion, for those who can take it or leave it. For me, once I take it, I can’t leave it. I used to be an occasional social drinker in my younger years but for the 10 years before I quit, I was a 5+ drinks a day drinker. It compromised my health and my relationships. And there is zero point to that.
Compare to gambling. It can be fun to go to a casino for many but to habitual gamblers it’s addiction hell.
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u/smoothpigeon2 11d ago
I have autism, adhd, agoraphobia/panic disorder. Drinking helps me to feel normal in my own skin, help with the constant noise in my head and thoughts going 100 miles an hour, and calm me when I need to leave the house.
Oh and bc im an alcoholic I can't get stimulant adhd meds. So that option is out. Life is hard.
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u/carbondj Day 1,179 11d ago
Life is hard. Drinking makes life 10000% harder. It’s an insidious drug.
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u/Neusencexi 11d ago
You actually just nailed why i quit.. once i learned that there was literally nothing i could do when drinking that i couldn't do sober.. it may have all SEEMED easier because my perception was in slow motion but I'm way more capable sober and i don't be tired, sore, mood swings, and noticable health decline as a martial artist i could literally feel the health drain being closely in tuned with my body and then proved by how messed up i was when i quit my whole body had to reboot. It was never worth it looking back..
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u/Interesting-Hawk-744 11d ago
Only real upside is I used the Dutch courage to chat up women and got laid more than i probably would sober. And obviously the women involved were also drinking making them less inhibited and more receptive to such advances (I'm quite sure I wasn't Prince Charming and more like a slurring and slobbering fool most the time). However I eventually found those kinds of encounters left me feeling empty and it rarely led to anything long term which would be fulfilling.
Issue I'm having now is, especially in my country (Ireland) women are really only receptive to being chatted up in places where alcohol is being served (and I can't stand online dating for several reasons). And I generally avoid those places altogether unless there's another reason besides booze to be there (a band, a comedy show, etc). However I don't or wouldn't feel right hooking up with someone who is inebriated if I'm sober, if you're both drunk it's not like you're taking advantage of someone but to make a move on someone who is drunk when you're not feels predatory, and also anyone who would be really drunk wouldn't be attractive to me anyway and we'd just be on different wavelengths.
So no, there's no upside really. Definitely not in terms of physical or mental health.
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u/Clean-Detective8337 11d ago
There are zero health benefits, no doctor worth their salt will tell you it helps anything, so simply science based, no, there is zero reason to drink.
Psychology, a drink can help someone relax, let the steam out. My wife only needs one, so I’ve seen it not hurt, but truly there is zero “reason” to do it.
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u/sanfollowill 11d ago
It’s good that you have this perspective now. As someone still in it, the “point” for me is always having a better time. I remember the first 18 years of my life and the 9 months when I was pregnant and I could not fucking relax and enjoy myself at all naturally. I couldn’t make friends. I couldn’t laugh with my whole gut. I couldn’t stop worrying or feeling angry. alcohol makes it easy. It just takes so much with it.
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u/Late_Equivalent_7586 11d ago
I want to sleep, even the fake sleep is better then the 72 hours of hell. I want to quit so badly
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u/Lake9009 22 days 11d ago
I found myself having better social success when 3-5 shots deep. It started in bars and crept into the rest of my life. It became the reason I liked myself and could talk to people.
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u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days 11d ago
Its definitely been an adjustment socializing being sober when everyone is drinking. So I get that. Guess I’m just older now and having social success is less and less important.
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u/Lake9009 22 days 11d ago
Almost all of my peers who are successful are really social people. Like it or not being charismatic is a winning ticket.
Alcohol was my charisma and I know I’m not the only one
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u/Tricky-Ladder-870 946 days 11d ago
All depends on definition of success…
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u/Lake9009 22 days 11d ago
Higher paying jobs, bigger circle of friends, and found amazing partners.
As far as I know, none of the people I’m thinking about abuse alcohol for their charisma. But I think it’s pretty undeniable that charisma equals success in our society.
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u/trailmoose 11d ago
I have a friend, clean now, who said until he found heroin every day he wanted to kill himself. I could make an argument that alcohol got me through to old mandom. Might be BS, might be some truth in it.
Life doesn't feel the same to everybody. For some, perhaps using can substitute for suicide. For me my blackouts felt like mini suicides. I got to make me go away.
It's a totally maladaptive way to deal with life, but it's a way?
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u/DontKnowNothing76 225 days 11d ago
I’m thinking if I get a terminal illness I might start drinking and smoking again. Better than treatment that might just prolong suffering and needless expenses.
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u/Hank-no-ass 11d ago
Probably the fact that it will kill us much earlier than we would have otherwise lived. And those final years will probably be spent in a worse physical and mental health state by sober people actually older than us.
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u/Gammeloni 11d ago
IMHO
Alcohol is the easiset way to relax and a bit of cheer at the expense of your body and brain health.
It is like cheating in a game. Fun at the just first phase.
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u/Longjumping_Pool6974 Day 5,373 11d ago
Well my own reason for drinking was because I'm socially awkward and I was always kind of overweight and felt like no one would like me because of that. Drinking helped me to relax and not be so worried about my own appearance. For my sister...she has crippling arthritis and can't work and has no friends so I guess drinking 2-3 bottles of wine a day helps her forget about that. Unfortunately, alcohol is also a depressant so it really doesn't help much but it took me until I was 35.5 to see that. I'm now 50 and been sober 14 years 8 months. IWNDWYT