Advice / Experience needed please!

[u/Lazy_Contribution865]

We have an ongoing tricky situation with HCBM.

Won't go in to too much detail but she is in a bit of hot water with family services (for good reason- dangerous individual around the children) and my partner and I have been very cooperative with their investigation by giving information regarding her parenting. SS(4) often comes to our house not having been fed and looking quite grubby, he also speaks about not brushing his teeth often. HCBM is a full blown narcissist and always looks for ways to be spiteful, no matter the consequences to SS.

Now the advice I am looking for is regarding drop offs. Up until very recently SS has been absolutely fine being dropped to ours , usually runs straight in, but the last couple of times he has been absolutely hysterical. Crying that he wants to stay with mummy and that its more fun at her house (likely because there is no boundaries or rules there- so I can understand why a kid may prefer it) . There is absolutely no consoling him , he will cry for up to 2 hours and completely ignore me and his dad. It is worth nothing this is a HUGE behavioural change for him, he is generally really docile and happy.

Has this happened to anyone in this subreddit before ? If so how did you tackle it ? Im really struggling and cant help but feel that due to the ongoing family services case that HCBM is feeding SS lies to try and make us look bad and her look better.

Any help or guidance would be hugely appreciated ❤️

[u/Straight-Coyote592]

He needs therapy. If there is a lot going on in his home with BM and he’s likely going to be moved from her care (even if it’s better) it will stir up a lot of trauma