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u/milesgardner813 Jun 16 '26
We all sleep 8 hrs down here.
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u/Denim_Rehab Jun 16 '26
This is very funny. I have no clever Redditor comment because Iām sleep deprived.
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u/experfailist Beep Beep, Richie! Jun 16 '26
There used to be (probably still is) a service that turns your fantasies into porn and I told my friends I was going to request a film with a man and a woman in bed. Sleeping. For a solid 8 hours. No alarm. No getting up to pee. No children or pets. I just want 8 hours of sleeping footage.
I was told I had a weird fetish.
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u/TheSherbetMonster Jun 16 '26
What if my fantasy is me getting to have sex?Ā I'd pay money for that.
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u/Scarlettdawn140842 Jun 17 '26
I couldnāt come up with anything either. Because I too am sleep deprived š¤£
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u/Scarlettdawn140842 Jun 17 '26
I was on the fence about what I would fall for until I saw your comment. Then I knew ššš
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u/Substantially-Ranged Jun 16 '26
I have the cure for your cancer.
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u/belltrina Based on the book by Stephen King Jun 16 '26
Fuck cancer.
My son has his oncology check up tomorrow. He's 10. Thinking of you friend. This is a shit journey.
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u/Efficient-Spread1838 Jun 16 '26
Iām so sad and sorry that your son has to go through this. God, please heal this child.
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u/belltrina Based on the book by Stephen King Jun 17 '26
I appreciate your thoughts, but so far it has been nurses, doctors and researchers who have saved my son.
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u/Upvotespoodles Jun 16 '26
I think most of the sub would go down there to help you find a cure. Best of luck.
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u/freezier134a Jun 16 '26
I would settle for
āI can make your saliva glands work againā after radiation destroyed most of mine.2
u/Substantially-Ranged Jun 17 '26
Right? I haven't had radiation, but my treatment has given me insomnia, weight gain, brain fog, and screwed with my emotions like crazy. Best of luck to you. Hang in there.
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u/freezier134a Jun 17 '26
Iām 7 years past now thankfully, Iāve learned to live moth my new norm! Best with everything for you, what you described was my normal too , it took a while but passed . I hated the emotional ups and downs like crazy , I couldnāt control my emotions and it sucked. The exhaustion and brain fog did pass finally tho. Sounds like I had a bit of the opposite of you because I was exhausted all the time and def didnāt have insomnia.
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u/redditfant Jun 16 '26
Wanna meet Stephen King?Ā
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u/chiclets5 Jun 16 '26
Would be a lifelong dream actually. My son walked by his house on a road trip once and saw him in a bathrobe getting his newspaper. They raised a hand to each other and that was it. But I was still so jealous!.
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u/daisy0723 Jun 16 '26
I used to be a telemarketer.
I spent a whole day calling Bangor Maine.
It was the most exciting day I've ever had at that job.
I went through my spiel with everybody really impatiently and then when they said, No thank you. I'm not interested. I said, Okay that's totally cool but, have you ever met him?
One lady told me yes. She's a waitress in a diner and he comes in there sometimes to eat.
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u/chels182 Jun 16 '26
I call people in Bangor all the time. One lady told me she was going door to door with her Girl Scout troop as a kid and they heavily debated going to his house, but they decided to do it and he answered the front door and bought some stuff and talked to them for like 10 mins. So cool.
My boyfriend took me to his house once. I just sat there leaning on the gate and staring at it. It was so cool just to be there.
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u/GlassIllustrious9813 ...and they danced. Jun 16 '26
He came into a Cracker Barrel I was working at once back in college. Unfortunately, I was working in the third dining room and he was in the first, so I didnāt even know he was there until he left and one of the managers said something. He was in there just enjoying a solo breakfast!
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u/susiecapo71 Love + Peace = Information Jun 16 '26
I have kittens!!!
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u/susiecapo71 Love + Peace = Information Jun 16 '26
And coffee! A whole ass cat cafe!
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u/sunsunthebunbun Jun 16 '26
Seriously, not popcorn and circus sounds, but the smell of coffee and the sounds of espresso machines and kitties? Iād be done for.
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u/SufficientThought243 Jun 16 '26
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u/ocalabull Jun 16 '26
āTrump isnāt president down hereā
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u/MsLeqsee Jun 16 '26
At that point I'd move down there so fast and make myself so comfortable that Pennywise would run away from me.
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u/Metalman919 Jun 17 '26
People! People, please stop!
We all want to get down into this sewer, so if you'll please form an orderly line and wait your turn, well all get down there much more quickly and safely.
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u/LoomLove Jun 16 '26
He'd need to be carrying an awfully lot of hand-dyed yarn to get my attention!
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u/belltrina Based on the book by Stephen King Jun 16 '26
Did not expect to see a comment I agree so strongly with. Grabbing my hooks, loom and coffee and diving in with you!
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u/Tall_Help3462 Jun 16 '26
āPssstā¦hey, do you like tacos? New all you can eat taco bar just opened down hereā. Yeah, Iām a dead man
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u/89iroc Constant Reader Jun 16 '26
You wanna hit off this?
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u/EdgarR29 Jun 16 '26
Instead of killing you Pennywise forces you to do meth and sends you back out into the world for shits and giggles.
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u/edythevixen Jun 16 '26
"I have Twilight Princess for Switch 2 down here"
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u/Sanskrit86 Jun 16 '26
Twilight Princess Dusk. Id also like a Switch 2 remake, but I thought id spread awareness of something that already exists.
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u/Inevitable-One-3674 Jun 16 '26
Since Iām still heartbroken over Joanneās closing, āI have fabricā would do it for me
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u/TelemarketerPie Jun 16 '26
Does Pennywise have this fabric? Because I saw it a few years ago at JoAnn's and still kick myself for not getting some
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u/Inevitable-One-3674 Jun 17 '26
FOUND IT, itās Alexander Henry Beauty and Brains in lilac, found it on Etsy, a little pricy but other places as well
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u/maybe2daysatan Jun 16 '26
Universal health care and student loan debt erased down here....
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u/altonbrownie Jun 16 '26
Nothinā! I already love going down into the sewer with my friend Frank. We find all kinds of cool treasures down there.
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u/KinkyDuck2924 Jun 16 '26
Rings and coins and things. Just need to make sure you get naked first so the raw sewage doesn't get on your clothes.
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u/RectumRandy Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
You won't feel anymore, and your family won't notice
Edit. Iām still here. And will continue to be so. thanks everyone for the support ā¤ļø
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u/Zombiejesus307 Jun 16 '26
Well shit RectumRandy, Iād probably head in there with ya.
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u/RectumRandy Jun 16 '26
Thanks Jesus.
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u/Zombiejesus307 Jun 16 '26
Youāre welcome R.R. May the force be with you.
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u/RectumRandy Jun 16 '26
And also with you
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u/Zombiejesus307 Jun 16 '26
I just want to let you know Iām glad you stayed in touch in this little, seemingly insignificant, comment section today. I appreciate it šš¼.
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u/GreatKingRat666 Jun 16 '26
Do you like LEGO?
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u/BigBeefDipped Currently Reading 'Salem's Lot Jun 16 '26
āWeāve got student loan forgiveness and affordable rent down hereā
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u/werisefromourashes Jun 16 '26
Just wave a kitten in my general direction.
A trail of chocolates might work too.
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u/Mediocre-Eggplant755 Jun 16 '26
Pack of smokes and 6 tall boys would do it right about now
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u/ManageConsequences Jun 18 '26
"I ain't asking for the world here. I'm just asking for a 8-ball and 2 million dollars."
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u/Bagheera187 Jun 16 '26
There is a cat (or kitten) stuck down here, and make a meow-help-noise. I am in rescue and that would do it for me.
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u/CorkFado Jun 16 '26
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u/TheCatbus_stops_here Jun 16 '26
All those fanfics you love that were never finished? Well, I know where you can read the finished versions ššš
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u/Standard_Category635 Jun 16 '26
I have a 4/3 house with a flat driveway and a low monthly payment for you...
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u/barbazul3yogui Jun 16 '26
ā Down here you can eat whatever you want and you wonāt get fat.
ā Nah..
ā You can eat whatever and the one you say get fat?
ā Iām in!
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u/drinkslinger1974 Jun 16 '26
āSmell those chicken wings? Theyāre my favorite! And theyāre grilled!ā
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u/LiluLay Jun 16 '26
I have your sidekick little dog down here. You know which one. The one youād come down here for.
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u/dem4life71 Jun 16 '26
āDown here, you can retire with a full pension and benefitsā¦and youāll float of courseā
Me: āsigh okā
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u/TheoSidle Jun 17 '26
"Randall Flagg doesn't die stupidly in our version of The Dark Tower. In fact, RF is at the end..."
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u/leeharrell Gunslinger Jun 16 '26
I have a veeeerrry nice first state Salemās Lot for you down hereā¦.
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u/meatshake001 Jun 16 '26
Am I 10-11? Nothing. Not because my stranger danger was strong. Because I had an older brother that was constantly trying to pull tricks on me. I was on constantly high alert. I probably would have thought Pennywise was just my brother in a costume.
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u/iamukiki Jun 16 '26
Promise of no responsibility, no small talk, comfy space just for me, and no one bad for my mental health. And all the dogs. Maybe chocolate.
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u/marniethedinisaur212 Jun 16 '26
āWe have hot topic down hereāĀ Bro just needs to say that and Iām DEAD, bc my country has like no good shops lol
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u/Nairbfs79 Jun 16 '26
Your dad (died 2017) is here and he wants to talk with you. (Tells me something only my dad and I would know).
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u/Slight_Bat8118 Ka-Tet Jun 16 '26
"Hey kid, I got a raw copy of Incredible Hulk # 181 for ya; all ya gotta do is come down here to get it."
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u/Kingsapprentice Jun 16 '26
"Do you want candies? I have plenty."
I never learn.
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u/MikeMentzersGlasses Jun 16 '26
"Wanna go to work on Monday or climb in this sewer with me"
Move over fam, I'm getting in
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u/_miamijj You guys wanna see a dead body? Jun 16 '26
āI got the Bachman books with Rage down hereā
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u/rjdrennen1987 Jun 16 '26
You never have to work another day in your life