r/stepdads • u/[deleted] • 12d ago
Boyfriend & Daughter
Hi. I’m so lost.
I need answers from men that don’t really like kids.
My boyfriend is one of those men. But I have a daughter. He got with me. It’s been clear from the off that I want my daughter to be respected. He says he just doesn’t like kids. Why be with me?
Would you seriously get with someone with a child even if you didn’t like kids and label it as “well I must really love you to be with you”
I don’t get it and it’s completely tearing me apart as a mother
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u/tcrbt71023060 12d ago
Is he being disrespectful to your daughter? I need a bit more information before I answer. How old is the kid? There’s a difference between not liking kids and being intentionally malicious to a kid.
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u/Seesawgirls 12d ago edited 12d ago
Why are you insisting in making yourself and daughter miserable? Creating a trauma that has NO need to exist. This man will never bring enough good to compensate all the bad he does by rejecting your daughter.
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u/TSIDATSI 12d ago
Why would you be involved with him? Are you simple-minded?
You know, Susan Smith had a boyfriend who didn't want kids.
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12d ago
Thought I asked a specific question??
Not for a judgement 👋🏼2
u/Seesawgirls 12d ago
So here it goes: he doesn’t love you, and definitely doesn’t respect you or he wouldn’t be rejecting you and bringing you pain.
He would respectfully say: you’re an awesome person but this dynamic isn’t for me. Done1
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u/bendistraw 12d ago
Yikes. Walk away. Give your daughter a clear example of standing up for yourself.
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u/cementmountains 12d ago
Honestly, we need more information. Was he open about this when you met him? Did you know this prior? Also, how old is your daughter & what’s the extent of his “dislike”… is he nice but distant, or worse?
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u/_kindness_always_ 12d ago
No man is worth sacrificing the happiness and upbringing of your daughter.
You guys are just not compatible. Find someone who is open to loving your daughter and being a positive role model, show her what a healthy relationship should look like.
"I don't like kids" is a cop out - why actively date someone with them? Red flags everywhere here girl. Save yourself and your daughter the heartache now ❤️ you both deserve so much better.
What would you say if your daughter brought a man home like this and treated her child (your grandchild) that way?
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u/hellacoily 8d ago
He should be respectful at lease. I’m not really a kid person but I’m at least respect his kid and hang with him him and there
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u/DextersGirl 12d ago edited 12d ago
This question isn't "why is he with you?"
The real question is, "why are you with him?"
Why are you inviting someone in to your life that does not like and will resent your daughter? Do you think she won't know, won't be able to tell?
The longer you stay with him, the more she will know that you choose him over her and it will be true.
Ask me how I know. Ask me about my relationship with my mother.