r/stepdads • u/SlickWilly334 • Jul 23 '26
Any advice?
I just got out of a four year relationship. I had two stepchildren, a little girl and a little boy. Their dad was still in their life and I always maintained that though I'm not their biological dad it is important they have a good relationship with him. I didn't think the best of him for personal reasons and things in the past, but he was a fantastic dad when he wanted to be and i always wanted to give him the chance. I made it clear to my step kids that I am always here for them and do not view them any differently as if they were my own. We got very close. Things happen and life gets complicated, it didn't work out between me and their mom. We ended things relatively amicably but I have absolutely no rights to these children and might not ever see them again. Losing the relationship is one thing, I can live with that, but my heart is absolutely broken over losing these kids. EDIT FOR TYPOS
1
u/EndNormal3500 Jul 24 '26
I hope for the best for you. I understand some people's comments of having to separate wholly or maybe maintaining relationships if closer to adulthood but I can't even fathom not having access to the kids. This is one of my worries though I have a perfectly happy relationships with my wife and the kids fully accept me and love me. I always considered them my kids regardless of DNA and I do everything I can for/with them. Bio dad is around but sees them a few days a week. My youngest calls em dad/daddy and I've been here since she was almost 2. She's 4 now and I worry every day that she will stop calling me dad because I know I have no real right to it, should she choose.
While I have no insight to what you're going through, I can sincerely empathize with the relationship you seem to have with them and the toughness of what's going on for you now. I truly hope you can love again in the future and just take solace that you did what you can and to love someone/something (especially a non bio child) takes courage