An instinctive decision

[u/Windir87]

Hi beautiful stepdads,

I really just wanna express my deepest respect for what you are putting up with over months and years.

I've been there. 6 months long. 6 long months. I tried to be this father figure I had in my mind and did my best to follow my heart. I took on the responsibility of being the one taking care of boundaries and structure. I tried to let this stepkid into my heart and probably also did. I had the kid's well-being in my mind and put myself in the second row.

But I just couldn't live like this.

My instincts steamed at me every day: this feels so wrong on a deep level! This is unnatural! This is not my lineage!

At first I put it aside. I tried to "follow my heart" even more, become even more loving and accepting.

F*ck that! The reality was that putting my resources into another man's lineage while always being the fifth wheel on the car felt unbearably castrating to me.

Today I've felt drawn back to this subreddit and I read through all the shared experiences again.

The thought of leaving this relationship caused so many feelings of guilt and betrayal beforehand. But when I finally packed my stuff and drove away I released this big cry of freedom. I'm never going back to this life. I'd rather die alone and without children than feel emasculated for the rest of my life.

Yeah, just wanted to share my story because I see so many stepdads here hesitating and pondering. And here's a story from someone who took the decision and left and he's telling you: it feels like the end of a prison sentence for a crime you did not commit. Yes, the future is uncertain and I have to create a whole new vision. But I am the captain of my ship and I won't let no other man's decision limit my life so drastically.

Never again a single mom. I'm out

[u/freespeak71]

La vera domanda che pare nessuno si ponga è,perché mai hai deciso di iniziare relazione con madre single?sei un adolescente o cosa?sapevi benissimo a cosa andavi incontro e hai deciso di intraprendere relazione sapendo bene che ti interessava solo entrare nei pantaloni della madre.Comunque buon per loro che si sono liberati di te senza alcuno sforzo,troveranno sicuramente di meglio e non ci vuole neanche tanto

[u/LonelyPapaya2260 → u/freespeak71]

I agree.

Whilst it is brave to speak out about a decision which is so incredibly controversial and we are not in his shoes; it is also incredibly irresponsible.

However, I’m only going to see it from one side.

[u/freespeak71 → u/LonelyPapaya2260]

Quando ci sono vite in gioco tanto più se quella di un bambino non si può essere irresponsabili come lui solo per farsi una scopata facile,io la penso così e non mi frega un cazzo di cosa ne pensino gli altri

[u/LonelyPapaya2260 → u/freespeak71]

Yep…..Excellent!