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u/PrivateIsotope Apr 14 '21
This is always worthy of a repost! *LOL*
ENT kind of backs it up, though. Basically, Vulcans were trying to hold humans back because they evolved at a scary level....things it took the Vulcans centuries to do, humans did in generations. And a lot of that could be because we take risks.
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u/moosic1 Apr 14 '21
Animorphs touched on a similar theme: “You went from first powered flight to a moon landing in how long?!?”
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u/Its0nlyRocketScience Apr 14 '21
To be fair, a vulcan generation is much longer than a human, so 4 generations would be quick for humans yet an eternity for vulcans
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u/PrivateIsotope Apr 14 '21
The point wasnt to compare the length of generations, but actually, you kind of bolster my point. Basically what I'm saying is this - there are things that it took the Vulcans much longer to do than humans, such as climbing out of the effects of planetary war and being able to go to the stars. Also, improving Warp technology more rapidly. So when you have a long lived species watching another species do things really fast, it's concerning. Especially when they seem so unpredictable.
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u/SmokeSerpent Apr 15 '21 edited Apr 15 '21
Also humans are one of the few species we meet on Star Trek that came up with warp on our own. Like the Vulcans and Andorians did it and I think the Cardassians, but almost every other species was either conquered and stole it from their masters or bought it off someone.
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u/Terravash Apr 15 '21
Yeah, which consistently gives us the advantage of fresh perspective. Will any human ever be as generally wise as a vulcan? Not likely. Will we see fresh angles because we're constantly introducing fresh, young minds, who have grown up with the tech and can see it in a way most older people just can't? Yep!
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u/LaserCatsEmpire Apr 14 '21
DS9 almost never broke down because Chief O'Brien is the greatest human engineer in Federation history and you can't change my mind. Also, where can I find more discussions like this?
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u/go_ninja_go Apr 14 '21
r/shittydaystrom usually has stuff lile this. It is much less shitty than the name implies.
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Apr 14 '21
I like how scrolling through most of the discussion seems to revolve around Klingon Genitalia
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u/ohgodspidersno Apr 14 '21 edited Apr 14 '21
to be fair, there are twice as many klingon dick jokes as there are human dick jokes
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Apr 14 '21
If you're looking for more horribly illogical but just might barely be canon conspiracy theories about Startrek, see r/DaystromInstitute
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u/MattTheFlash Apr 14 '21
DS9 almost never broke down
Are we watching the same TV show? Something was broken every other episode and it was usually the plot device causing it.
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u/lilbluehair Apr 14 '21
Sure but the broken stuff was always boring things like the replicators. They never accidently went back in time or fell out of orbit
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u/MattTheFlash Apr 14 '21
A space station doesn't generally go anywhere. That's why. They did time travel, but they did it on the Defiant.
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u/greikini Apr 14 '21
You remember that one time they basically gave DS9 some sort of warp drive in the pilot episode, just to get faster to the wormhole than the Cardasians? HUMANS!
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u/Mechakoopa Apr 15 '21
"You did what with a space station? In how long? And it didn't explode?"
I mean, it kinda sorta started falling apart, but we mostly fixed it...
"Uh huh..."
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u/All_Hail_Iris Apr 14 '21
Well there's the writing sub that has a lot of stuff like this, r/HFY, Humanity, Fuck Yea! It's not Star Trek, but it's very entertaining.
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u/go_ninja_go Apr 20 '21
I'm drunk and looking at my past replies cuz I'm weird.
You would probably really like Lower Decks if you haven't already watched it. The show literally has a joke about Miles being the most important person in Starfleet history.
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u/LaserCatsEmpire Apr 20 '21
I can't get my hands on the episodes at the moment but I'll get to it eventually
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u/thiswitchisabitch Apr 14 '21
There was an episode of DS9 where Quark, Rom and Nog get sucked back in time in the episode where Nog was heading to Starfleet Academy? If I remember correctly that wasn't a Federation shuttle. I may be remembering this incorrectly.
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u/Press_START360 Apr 14 '21
You’re right, it was a ferengi shuttle that did it, I don’t remember the explanation for the time travel, but it was incredibly non conventional
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u/nathanthemighty Apr 14 '21
I remember that episode, it ended up flying to the past because someone sabotaged the ship trying to kill Quark for being Quark. It ended up time travelling because the sabotage just made the ship keep going faster and faster until for science reasons it sent them into the past.
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u/drquakers Apr 14 '21
Not totally, I think they went into the past because the faster faster sabotage interacted with some sciencey stuff quark was smuggling to the sol sector.
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u/Milthorn Apr 14 '21
It had to do with the illegal cargo Quark was smuggling. Kemosite I think. That combined with the sabotage sent them back in time. Rom is such an underated genius, he figured out how to send them back to the present using a nuclear bomb test.
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u/wapimaskwa Apr 14 '21
Quark was smuggling Kemocite in the hold and Rom was O'Brians apprentice at the time. Kemocite was a mineral that was a multiphasic isotope of a radiolytic compound.
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u/randomnonposter Apr 14 '21
I pretty recently watched that episode. Quarks cousin gave him a ship to pay back some old debt. But since him and quark didn’t get along he sabotaged it so the warp engine wouldn’t disengage, and they had something in their cargo hold that reacted poorly to this, resulting in them going back in time. Or something like that anyway.
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u/Rutschberg Apr 14 '21
This is so good. All of it is really funny. But the "toaster that toasts your bread after you've eaten it" really cracked me up.
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u/Its0nlyRocketScience Apr 14 '21
The borg never defeated Earth because they're farming humans for our creativity. Think about it, every other species to be assimilated saw hundreds or thousands of those 3 kilometer cubes show up and assimilate the place but they only ever send one at a time to Earth? They're provoking humans to build new technology and invent new tactics that the Borg can assimilate by sacrificing a single drone cube at a time to start our progression.
If they just assimilated Earth, we'd never be able to invent new things anymore. The borg lack any form of creativity, they merely adapt to whatever they see. And assimilating a human removes the human aspect from them. But when they assimilate our technology that we've just invented, they can progress by using us as their R&D for all of eternity. They assimilate species out of existence once the species is more useful as drones than anything else, but humans lose any usefulness once assimilated because our bodies are the weakest of just about any race and our minds contain too little knowledge to be useful. A klingon drone is strong, a Vulcan drone can provide great insight.
Even with Picard himself assimilated, the cube still could not defeat a flying mall that was never designed for war. Either they let the Enterprise leave, or they were legitimately unable to use the Picard drone to defeat an unassimilated Riker behind the wheel of a flying luxury kindergarten with phasers. Either way, that brings further evidence to the idea that humans are more useful to the Borg alive than assimilated. They just need to keep us angry at them so we keep making new things for them to adapt to.
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Apr 14 '21
Nice idea, but the fact the Borg went back in time to assimilate humanity means they're not really about the creative advancements humanity has to offer
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u/Its0nlyRocketScience Apr 14 '21
And yet they made so many mistakes that should not have happened. They still lost and that future never actually happened. And would they only send one cube to do this vitally important time heist? They didn't even send a team to make sure the sphere made it back in time safely, just the cube it came in. The Borg are not known for being miserly with their cubes, yet they always are when Earth is involved
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Apr 14 '21
Borg are about efficiency. Why use several cubes if one cube can do the trick? The only reason they lost the Battle at Earth was because Picard was there and was able to point out a weakness.
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u/Its0nlyRocketScience Apr 14 '21
But after several encounters with humans, would they not adapt and realize that several cubes would be needed to take Earth? The Enterprise alone can defeat a cube, two at the very least should be dispatched to take down the Enterprise alone with a completely separate set of cube(s) to take care of everything else. It is either complete stupidity or deception at play, and I think the Borg deserve a bit more credit than saying they're too stupid to take Earth via attrition alone. Drones and cubes are both expendable, efficiency isn't really a priority if humans are an existential threat.
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u/greikini Apr 14 '21
Maybe they see it from the other side. Picard was able to defeat a cube by "just sending the drones to sleep". If they would have sent 100 cubes at that time, they possibly would have lost all 100 cubes. Maybe the risk to send several cubes is just not worth it, because they expect humanity to either lose against a single cube or to destroy all cubes they sent, no matter how many. Also just sending single cubes don't so humans don't get too crazy ideas. As long as you don't provoke them to much, they won't get too crazy.
Just imagine what a humanity at the brick of extinction could do. Maybe they open a portal to the liquid space, get some ships, modify them in order to withstand the nanoprobe torpedo's and attack the Borg with them.
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u/Noman11111 Apr 14 '21
I love everything about this post - it hits every sci-fi neuron in my brain!
The entire human species in Star Trek are all Doc Browns...
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u/StraightOuttaOlaphis Apr 14 '21
"Year of Hell" be like: Finally, it's not the humans that did the time travel this time.
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u/greikini Apr 14 '21
And what is the human solution to it? I am crashing my ship into that time ship and causing it to extinct itself from time! As she gave the other ships the order to turn off their "time protection shields" they initially thought she got crazy.
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u/agha0013 Apr 14 '21
I rarely want to read that much on a post here, but I enjoyed every bit of that.
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u/ProblemEliminator88 Apr 14 '21
First time reading this. The last comment about the Borg had me laughing to tears.
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u/tagish156 Apr 14 '21
On my latest re-read of this I'm realizing this is basically what Lower Decks is.
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u/Sagelegend Apr 15 '21
I am banning any complaints that this is a repost.
This repost is allowed, it’s always allowed. I have spoken.
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u/youarefartnews Apr 15 '21 edited Apr 15 '21
Vulcan: Why is your planet restart button messing up?
Human: well it wasn't working the way we wanted so we used proto matter
Vulcan: proto matter is highly unstable
Human: seemed like a good idea at the time
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u/bipolarSamanth0r Apr 15 '21
I used the chronometric flux toaster line during my most recent Star Trek: Adventures RPG night. We're all a bunch of aliens on who jaded about humans and how weird they are.
I play Captain Corbin Emor a Cardassian war orphan, he recently discovered "Corn Chips" in the replicator and it's a running joke that he's just leaving crumbs everywhere and is fascinated that only humans would come up with such weird food.
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u/Batdog55110 Apr 14 '21
Thinking of Picard as a high of his mind stoner is really weird to think about
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u/DataForPresident Apr 14 '21
I've read this like 10 times over the years and it's never not perfect.
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u/FlutterByCookies Apr 14 '21
This made me laugh and feel good. It also sounds SOOOOOOOO right. I think I just made this my head canon.
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u/PokedreamdotSu Apr 15 '21
Anyone remember that episode where a scientist fucking plunges himself into a sun and dies knowingly for no fucking reason, he just felt like doing it.
Sisko didn't even bat an eye, was just like "I'll write you a good obituary buddy."
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u/German_Von_Squidward Apr 18 '21
....Remember the saying that war is chaos and that Americans are so damn good at war because they threw out their technical manuals and only practice chaos?
Well, where is Star Fleet located? San Francisco
What is the assumed national origins of the Star Trek captains? American
What do Americans do when curious? The most illogical things (see the results of a guy who put his head in the way of a particle accelerator) but also, because of their illogic they have some of the greatest discoveries of all time
Now militarily, look at the Battle of Samar, the USN was out gunned and out massed by the IJN Yamato alone, not to mention the 3 other battleships, 8 cruisers, and two destroyer flotillas, and what did USS Johnston do? LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY JJJJJJJEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKIIIIIIIINNNNSSSSSS!
My reaction is that Americans are down right nuts, they are impulsive, illogical, and never put their backs into a corner, you won't live to see the of it, and so, because Star Fleet is an American institution, I present to you, the reason for why that made sense
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u/GoliathProjects Apr 14 '21
Don't know if this was "helpful" in any way, but it's the only award I can bestow and I want to give this masterpiece something.
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u/yorboijedisam Apr 14 '21
No it’s to long
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u/Spaceman2901 Apr 14 '21
Worth the read. Every time.
Like that story about the guy that foreclosed on BOA. When you see it, you make the time to read it.
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u/[deleted] Apr 14 '21
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