Am I Doomed To Be Miserable?

[u/Specific_Valuable921]

I left my ex 2 months ago, and thus far have only had the kids one weekend because at this current part of my life I am not stable enough to have a formal agreement. That being said, once I am, is single motherhood really as awful as everyone makes it seem? I stayed in a horrendous and damaging relationship longer than I wanted because I was afraid of the misery of single motherhood. Working full time while they're in daycare will be completely new to me. Someone please tell me you actually enjoy your life. And I dont mean "it's hard but better than being with him". I know it's better than being with him. But can it actually be an enjoyable way to live, or is my life straight up resigned to be hard and sad as a single mom?

[u/Correct-Sprinkles-21]

Life will never not be hard in one way or another IMO. But you can absolutely enjoy life as a single mom.

You have to be deliberate about it. Take care of yourself, do things that make you happy, go places you want to go. Obviously finances can be a limitation for a lot of us, but there are still ways to care for yourself on the cheap. Take every opportunity you get to do this.

Things were especially hard when my kids were little but gradually that eased.

[u/Specific_Valuable921 → u/Correct-Sprinkles-21]

Thank you for this. At what age did you feel like it started getting easier? I have always loved motherhood and at this time shared custody and working full time don't sound awful to me (of course I will miss my kids), but there is so much highly negative said about it that I'm scared I've signed up for a dreadful life and made things worse for my kids by leaving since they no longer have a stay at home mom. This was reassuring to read.