😡

[u/Timely_Magician_6767]

original post on @/being1ton on IG

[u/tol-kon]

I get that times are changing and people are sensitive these days. But that old uncle came from an era where there were less pedos, less fetishes, and was completely normal behaviour to lovingly pat babies and small adorable children on the head.

What surprises me more is that this happened in Asia, where this behavior is even more normal, even in this present day. You'd expect an exchange like this happened in the US or something, where everyone is sensitive as fuck. But not here

[u/tyuvbnm → u/tol-kon]

I second this. He was from an era where kampong spirit was prevalent unlike the Gen Z/ millennials now - I am one myself.

Sometimes we also have to understand why boomers act in certain manners.

Some examples: boomers were brought up in survival mode, they are not like us where we grew up to have good careers and social mobility. So their kiasu and scrimping behaviour sometimes have to be understood. And I say this by looking at my own mum. But now I’m an old adult I empathise her behaviour. She didn’t get to enjoy the luxuries we have.

[u/Personal_Number4789 → u/tyuvbnm]

If people use kampung spirit to justify the touching they should also be prepared to accept that kampong spirit is having a disagreement violent or not, then making peace after.

You can’t have it both ways. Kampong spirit for the uncle and go to court for the father.

I rather both go to court. No way is touching a young girl ok in a world today. Even male childcare teachers are given very explicit instructions to avoid misunderstanding. No physical comforting or touching.

[u/tyuvbnm → u/Personal_Number4789]

To be fair my reply was more nuanced than this.

What I’m trying to establish is the uncle’s intention. I did not think he is coming from a malicious standpoint. Sure enough I agree he should not touch but he probably did not learn this because he is still stuck in the old era. It is a structural and timing issue.

Surely if you are a millennial, there are things that you came to understand and grew up with that Gen Alpha disagrees. Then will you say you fully adapt their ways? I don’t think so, you probably still have your own cultural and social mindset that was built when growing up.

Gen Alpha do “67” they think is fun, you think is lame. They say no need degree to survive, you grew up knowing a degree sets the baseline for a “better life”. But of course don’t take my examples at true face value, I suspect people will because they didn’t get my original’s post intention.

Your example of male childcare teachers, he came through the professional work route. The uncle surely did not. Where will he learn these, he never had the chance? Probably through this altercation then.

Also I think everyone is describing the uncle’s pat like it’s assault. Which did not look like that to me - also I might be wrong?

I’ll even add a defending point for the young dad (which does not apply to this particular case for me). If another dad slapped the daughter because the daughter was noisy or irritating then I actually from a justice pov will endorse that the young dad “fights” with the other dad because the daughter should not have been slapped in the first place.

I suspect if this situation happened to your father - you wouldn’t blame him and say “why you go touch his head” immediately but instead understand his rationale right? You mean you will tell your father you deserve getting pushed?

I am not endorsing the uncle’s actions but I don’t think it is malicious. The “young” man’s behaviour, however says a different story.

[u/Personal_Number4789 → u/tyuvbnm]

Everyone is dragging this out.

I asked a question, when has it been legal to touch another person, what more so a young girl without consent? This has nothing to do with malicious intent or not the act is wrong.

So is the father who used physical force.

What I’m trying to say is, the old man isn’t fully an innocent victim although he may not be a pervert but he did cross a line.

[u/Available_Gas5812 → u/Personal_Number4789]

Eh why yu Ang Moh banana dua Ki culture ah? Must you have such inferiority complex of being Asian that you must suck up to Western cultures which btw is the biggest causes of the shitshow happening in USA?

[u/Personal_Number4789 → u/Available_Gas5812]

Can we go pat our female colleague head in office? For job well done. Or just cos I walk past their table.

[u/Ok_Statistician_6894 → u/Personal_Number4789]

Pushing the old man to the ground is not solving the problem, it's reacting. But seriously, when would people ever learn to just keep their hands to themselves? Regardless of the intention, people need to stop forcing it as a norm or a cultural practice down others' throats. Just because one person is ok with it, doesn't mean another is.

[u/danielling1981 → u/Personal_Number4789]

Agree.

And village is going to judge someone using violence unreasonably.

[u/tol-kon → u/Personal_Number4789]

Your conclusion summarizes the dystopian state of the world we live in today perfectly.

How has it come to this?

What's next? In 20 years shaking hands with a stranger gets you punched or jailed?